Are you happy with your life? what makes you that way?

Self?

My life sucks, but maybe I can make it better. I'll give it a try, but if I die then please laugh at me when I'm gone. Laugh at my foolish idealism, laugh at my attempts at working within the constraints of a system that was designed to place all odds against me from the start, laugh at my refusal to accept lying down the circumstances that I've been given, and laugh at the sentiment that one can actually do anything to pick themselves up from the shit pile they've been left to fester in and succeed at anything other than placing oneself on a trajectory towards death only that much faster.

every time i try its like someone hits me over the head and i fall back into what i was already doing.

life has direction but even thats not certain.

??

Career, job, car, bike, house, gf, travels, friends and some free time to do wat i want (currently learning to play the uke)

whats your excuse?

Cocain ? Pretty motivated for a few hours?

Nah, not ironic. College is really more an excuse for me to gtfo my dumbass tiny town I live in rn

Have lost all jelousy that was never there to begin with whe you mentioned the uke fucking layli.

i drink lots but i count my blessings that im not hooked on that stuff

Nah, I'm done giving excuses, I just said that. Instead, I will place my soul upon the chopping block and hope that I can transform myself into a competent being before I'm preyed upon by the forces that be.

Oh my interest in your life is pretty limited at this point

no. am failure

Not hooked yet early first half a gram. Maybe get more sleep?

Dude its for fun.... Maybe later ill switch to learn any other skill.

The ukelali is no more of a guitar than a fucking chewcuntyowa is a dog

Okay, cool

no. i've lost everything due to anxiety. and my best friend died. i'm alone and constantly anxious. have to get a job soon or will probably have to an hero

At least you have trips

Not that happy these days since life is now on autopilot. I don't like having things straight up and am always tempted to do more / different things and monkey with the setup.

Job is ok, the biggest thing I have going on right now is to decide how to invest some cash I've been sitting on.

Have a buddy coming to visit over the long weekend, but other than that, nothing exciting on the horizon. I've also stopped drinking during the weekdays, so that takes some getting used to.

Not really

> 33yo
> spend most my time between 2 shitty jobs and taking care of my sick mother
> I have a couple of good friends but I don't get to see them that much
> The kind of women I like are not interested in a broke 33yo with no time
> I have contemplated suicide many times but I won't do it until my mother dies... it would break her hart

I derive my happiness from the quality of my thoughts. They can be shitty or great but if they aren’t articulated and derived from quality I am unhappy. Would describe anything else as non content.

My internal concious has befriended me. Normally that subconscious portion of yourself that simply reacts and has an animalistic control of your emotion is a terrible thing to let lead your life, but I educated it, trained it even, so that I can lead myself through whatever mindless task my existance leads me to with minimal comprehension. I.E. made myself dumb enough to not get angry at the universe making me wipe my own ass.

More importantly than that I've trained years of my life towards controlling my brain while at rest, through meditation and lucid dreaming. So I can program experiences like having multiple dicks that I can orgasm with or being able to taste with my hands in my dreams. Leaving the entirety of my being seemingly meaningless since I've become my own God. Only problem is intense dreams that I get too focused on leads my brain to detach itself from physical command as it starts becoming commanded entirely by my imagination, and I stop breathing/swallow my tongue.

So whatever form of sensory information I collect while out in the world actively becomes some form of positive as it fuels my freedom. Although I'm still attached to some form of moral and logic, so fuck pedo's and people who think its of worth to build themselves and thier families castles in a world so small.

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Everybody plays the fucking guitar and its huge af.

I can carry mi uke everywhere, in fact im gonna take it this weekend to the beach and play a little.

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󠛡 > " are you happy with your life? ..." ;
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󠛡 Yes
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󠛡 > "...what makes you that way? "
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󠛡 annoying Yea Forumstards with my enhanced reddit spacing
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󠛡 and shitposting degenerate faggots on Yea Forums
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