Any wise old sage out there that could offer some advice on sexual attraction?

any wise old sage out there that could offer some advice on sexual attraction?

18, m, 1 year into a long distance relationship (my first relationship ever). we video call a fuckton and save all our money for plane ticks so we can see each other on holidays.

going into it, I was obsessed with her, it was so much better than the porn I've been hooked on since I was 11. it's a daily habit. however, my attraction to her began fading away after the first month or two. now, after our longest trip together, 2 months of her living with me and my parents, I'm just not interested.

is this a temporary feeling after being with someone 24/7 for 2 months? I'm an introvert and it got really tough for me towards the end. or is this my fault, for trying so many times but ultimately failing to stop my porn habits? was i just starstruck, and now that the blind, teenage passion has subsided I can truly see her for what she is? or maybe she's not my type, she's a little bit on the heavy side and it really turns me off, and even though she's shown interest in the gym and losing weight (more than just interest, actually, she did CrossFit for a few months, we went a few times while she was living with my family, and she now that's she's back home, she got a new gym membership).

what do :( I'm not sexually attracted to her and her personality is beginning to wear on me, but I just feel like it's my fault for not quitting porn, or not loving her for who she is, I'm just a shallow asshole who's too caught up with how people look.

and im fuckin terrified to break up with her, she's obsessed with me and i don't want to hurt her. and the added pressure not to break up makes the issues seem so much bigger

pic for attention

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jerk off and also fuck her

I don't know what you're rambling about but asking for advice from old fucks that hang around Yea Forums...

Well, you go right ahead and take every last bit of it.

but I don't want to fuck her. I'd rather jerk off. fucking her makes me uncomfortable

Post her nudes, you'll suddenly be more attracted to her.

not gonna knee-jerk follow every bit of advice I get, and maybe I won't get anything useful, but there are plenty of people out there who have been through something similar, and sometimes it's interesting to hear what other people have to say. especially from someone who isn't the 18yos I usually talk to

18yos don't know shit

Dude you're 18 this is entirely normal. You can't expect to stay with your first chick for the rest of your life. Of course, there is the romantic expectation, but it just doesn't work that way.

And no, it's not a temporary feeling. If part of you is telling you it isn't right, it isn't right. I've been through this with several women, thought there was something wrong with me as it kept happening, then one said back to me, I'm glad you said it, I was thinking it too. We went straight to bed and were friends for long after, including occasional sex.

Every relationship will be different. And yeah, porn sucks, give it up.

you say that, but it's kind of true. the fact that someone else would be jealous of her or attracted to her makes me want her more because I have something they can't have. again, I might just be fuckin shallow

zoomers are all sexual deviants from early childhood pornography exposure id love to see some studies and brain scans to see the damage caused to your benzo addicted retard sacks

>fucking her makes me uncomfortable
This is the bottom line. End it now, sooner the better, the longer it goes on the worse it will get.

Old fuck here:

1. you are never going to have a perfect relationship. She's always going to do something that irks you.

2. If you prefer jerking off to sex with her, bail on the relationship right now.

3. You may also want to consider that you have a porn addiction which needs to be dealt with.

You know, you're here too

Those problems are all going to get worse not better. Tell her how you feel and prepare to be single. Trust me with online dating it is easy to find a girl if you're looking for long term.

It happens, and it happens to me every damn time. Let her go, a better one will come. I usually have an interest in a girl for a month or two, then when she is totally into me i lose interest at an alarming rate and stop responding to messages and calls, generally looking like an asshole but i just get tired of the nonstop conversations and attention i need to give, but cant due to lack of interest.

we're taking a break while I get settled into college, partly because of the college, partly because I just need a break after the 2 months. I guess towards the end of it, if I haven't suddenly become obsessed with her again by some miracle, I'm gonna have to break it off. but it's gonna hurt, I still care deeply about her and I don't want her to be sad or upset. maybe I should do it now, maybe the break is just something I'm telling myself to procrastinate.

and it's sucks, cus going into it I was so happy and thought I could spend the rest of my life with her, thought I'd lucked out on my very first relationship

but thanks user, I appreciate it

and yeah, fuck porn. when I'm not horny I wouldn't touch it with a 10 ft poke, but once I randomly get in the mood I can't stay away

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yeah seriously. sometimes I wonder if I'm not turned on my people anymore, my dumb monkey brain is broken. maybe it's the act of looking at porn, searching through thousands of pics, saving the best, maybe that's what turns me on. wouldn't be hard to imagine, every time I do it, my brain gets a huge rush of happy, joy, pleasure at the end when I finish to the best pic. repeat for 7-8 years, no previous sexual experience, and it suddenly makes a lot more sense :P

Yep, the 'break' is always the end one way or another. Better for her to end it now. And, you're assuming she will be upset, but you don't know that for sure. Even if she is, her feelings are not your responsibility. You haven't done anything wrong. That's life, and dating. There are no guarantees given.

i know beyond the tiniest doubt that she'd be decimated. like destroyed. she's extremely obsessed with me, wants to stay together forever, get married, make me dinner every night, raise a child. and she's put herself in tears countless times thinking about if I didn't want to be with her or something. and we've had a few conversations about our relationship, taking about breaking up, the future, ways to improve, etc. but I'm a fucking coward, I hate confrontation of ANY kind with anything, I take the path of least resistance and lie my way through it. yes I'm happy, no I don't want to break up with you, etc

Hmm. Being an old guy I never had access to porn like youngsters do today. For me it was OP's pic related, and very occasional tits or 'love scenes' on the TV until I actually started fucking. I actively hate most mainstream porn, as it's so unreal. Some softcore, vintage, erotic etc can be OK. But I only use it rarely and prefer my imagination. It sounds like you might want to rein it in a bit.

Someone once said, when you come to a defining moment in your life, you define it, or it defines you. Cheesy, but very true. You are laying your path to misery and lies, or pain and freedom. The pain may not ever go completely. I still regret hurting someone I left 30 years ago, she was wonderful but for some reason my internal destruct mechanism went off. I don't regret the leaving though, something in me knew something wasn't right.

absolutely. it would also explain some confusion I've had in the past (this is all still op here), cus it isn't limited to normal porn anymore. it also includes all types of furry stuff, animu, crazy fetishes like tentacles, futanari, etc.. my brain doesnt actually know what it wants, what it's attracted to, but it knows something is missing - I remember countless times looking at some pics and thinking, what do I want? do I want to fuck it? do I want it to fuck me? do I want to stand in front of it and jerk off? do I want to be it? and not knowing the answer. not sexually involved with the picture, sexually involved with the act of looking at and finding porn

also, main stream porn doesn't do it for me either. I'm turned off by the fact that I know it's all just acting, bad acting at that. and so, so boring... anyways, it doesn't turn me on to see her get fucking covered head to toe in cum or make weird facial expressions like she's having a seizure while she gets skullfucked

and another thing: when I get high, I get horny and have no trouble looking at porn but when I comes down to finishing, I go soft trying to do it to whatever drawing or pic it is. I can only finish imagining having sex with a real human being that I love or am otherwise interested in.

first and last bump in case there's anything else anybody wants to offer. thanks for the advice ppl, love you, hope your day is going well

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Ha, sounds like you're not entirely fucked yet then. I've got to be off, go well b/ro.

Start whacking it to pics every few days and try finish quickly before looking for more.

thanks, you too :)

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I don't actually end up jerking off until I'm pretty much done looking. it's those few days that are gonna be the hardest. I'm able to get a lot more pleasure our of edging for like 3 days by constantly looking at porn and being really horny ALL the time. oh, there's no fights in this videogames I'm playing, tab out for a few mins and look at porn. oh, at my friend's house rn and nothing going on, better whip out my phone at look at porn, etc.

I might have more luck by beating my dick raw every day, because after finishing, I don't care for porn. so if I'm ALWAYS post-finish... I'll never want to look at porn?? :0

err, looking at porn for 3 days without jerking off, that is.

Tbh doing it daily before bed is a good alternative. Have you tried

I don't think I have, and sounds like it could help me. I'll give it go, and even if it doesn't fix it, it's a step in the right direction

Find some girls to fuck at college.

Whether or not you keep your LD girl.

Yeah good luck, I find Joi is a good way to bust quickly, I would recommend it if you're trying to get away from weird shit

as in, cheat on her? cus there's ZERO chance she'd ever be ok with that, in fact she can be overly sensitive to me interacting with other females

and I sure as hell am not cheating on her. I can live with the pain of breaking up and knowing she'll be really upset for who knows how long, but even if she never found out, I wouldn't be able to live with the guilt knowing I cheated on her.

but other than that, sounds like a swell idea, I've been looking forward to leaving the highschool dating scene for ages now lol. everyone's retarded, and since my highschool wasnt just a highschool (covered kindergarten, elementary and middle too), most people have known each other since they were 13, some since kinder. really awkward

by "that" I mean open relationship or me fucking anyone else

people who label themselves "introverts" are to embarrassed to admit they have a mental disorder that causes them to alienate from the rest of society. Lets face it, you have issues you are not attending to that are reeking havoc causing you to ditch things important to you so you can get back to the issues you feed. If you dont start taking care of things now, you will just repeat this process over and over.

Up to you about breaking up vs. open vs. cheating. You need to find local girls to fuck. Not nec gfs--just fbs or fwbs.

Words of wisdom. You should seriously consider this advice, OP.

maybe you have a different image of what defines an introvert then? to me it just means that I'm on the quieter side. I have friends who thrive as the center of attention. being the center of attention does the opposite, I still enjoy it but it sucks the energy out of me. I need some time afterwards to myself, to just think and rest and rejuvenate. so after two months of spending 24/7 with someone, I need time to relax and do my own shit.

if that's different than your definition of an introvert, then w/e. if my behavior is introverted by your definition and therefore self destructive or wrong, then ok lol

thanks, I've got it screenshotted along with the other useful posts :) you guys are the best

Just kill yourself.

thanks