>no friends >no close family >no job >been living off neetbux for the past 10 years because of depression >the absence of a social life hasn't been a big deal because I don't really enjoy being around people >I think the solitude might finally be taking a toll >no energy, no hope, feel like a ghost >never been more depressed and thinking about killing myself >I don't really want to kill myself, though >thinking about checking myself into the loony bin because I'm afraid I won't be able to resist shooting myself while drunk (I also drink heavily, which I know isn't the best idea, but exercise doesn't work and SSRIs are just as bad as booze, as far as I'm concerned).
Has anyone ever checked themselves into a psych facility? Stories? Have you ever been afraid you'd murder yourself?
dude please do not go into a psych ward, it won't do any good and you'll just be hating your life the whole time you are there, plus they will probably force you to take drugs you don't want to take
Benjamin Rodriguez
>plus they will probably force you to take drugs you don't want to take Yeah, I'm a little concerned about that. Although it might come down to an option between having myself committed and killing myself. Maybe I should opt for the latter.
Kayden Lopez
Self improvement is all about taking that first step that improves your quality of life enough to take the next. Stick with the exercise to the point where it hurts and I promise that it will start to feel worth it. Also alcohol is a depressant and is probably the worst thing that you could take right now.
Ayden Cooper
Go fucking see a psychologist This hegemonic psychiatry obsession folks have holy shit, makes me mad for being the only thing in people's mind
Logan Lopez
...
Jonathan Cooper
Yeah, I get where you're coming from. Finding the motivation is one of the most difficult things to do.
Also, cardio is out of the question because of a heart condition and I don't really enjoy lifting. I actually used to be an obsessive runner, but then I developed atrial fibrillation.
Benjamin Richardson
see a doctor bro and get some sunlight into your life. twice daily walks. I'm not even joking. some fresh air is good for the body. also don't off yourself. death is expensive and that's a huge burned to put on people.
Isaac Edwards
Go to an AA meeting. Alcohol greatly increases depression. Once you're off alcohol your mood will get better. Source: me - 10 years clean.
Elijah Rogers
>twice daily walks I need to get into that again. You're right, it absolutely helps.
>death is expensive and that's a huge [burden] to put on people I want to be cremated. And if I decide to do it, I'm gonna shoot myself in the woods. No one will notice for quite a while and there will be minimal cleanup.
Jaxson Phillips
Holyshit you’re me
Matthew Wright
AA worked for me... until it didn't. It's a great way to stay sober for many people, though. Glad to hear it's working out for you.
Nolan Johnson
It doesn't work if you don't want to stop drinking and if you don't put in the work like get a sponsor and work the steps.
Josiah Baker
How do you deal with the solitude? What do you do to fill the time?
That's true. After my mom died (dad is also dead) I stopped caring.
I'm sorry, everyone, I feel like a whiny attention-whore right now. I'm just a little desperate.
Luke Young
you asked for it don't be sorry for it.
having agenda and a game plan is what keeps people sane, it's all about the little changes you put yourself through that'll make the magic work.
Jeremiah Kelly
>having agenda and a game plan is what keeps people sane Right, finding a purpose that provides a sense of fulfillment. I have some ideas. I just need to focus on one thing and run with it.
I'm working on a screenplay that i'd like to film on vhs. Who knows, maybe that'll amount to something.
>just listened to the "no problem to solve" I love his voice. Gonna have to listen to more of these. Thanks.
It reminds me of a poem of mine...
Untitled
Below a verdurous field lies the will To perish and have the freedom not to choose; Above, thebeatitude of aye-open space Filled with the potential of understanding. But neither firmament nor soil underfoot Offers a home to house quod ens in anima.
Divine is what's passed from warm bodies To cold, in a tripudium of first and Second-movements to third rites: A ceremony that consists Of elements drawn together And then ripped apart.
In one modality, animals torn to shreds In a violent resistance; in another, A tranquil submission to the world-- The Gelassenheit of starry-eyed mystics-- A noble endeavour, but the result Will always fall short of letting go
Austin Evans
Bump for neetbux user user, what exactly do you mean by neetbux?
Ryder Diaz
Government assistance
Charles Morales
What kinds? What were you able to qualify for?
Your thoughts on living off of neetbux?
Charles Hernandez
>what kinds Food stamps, healthcare, Internet and cell phone >what we're you able to qualify for Everything but subsidized housing (if I had to rely on that I'd definitely kill myself). I still have money that my parents left me, so I'm not completely dependent on the government.
Jason Hall
Forgot >thoughts on living off neetbux It's a bare-bones existence. However, I'm not a materialistic person and don't want much, so it's not a big deal.
Jacob Barnes
Damn man How much money from neetbux is cold hard cash and is enough to play with/buy toys?
I'm sort of envious right now user No family, no friends, no job, solitude, beer
I envision just taking long walks and being alone Day and night just meditating but that's just me
>Checked myself into psych ward? No so can't help you with that I mean I don't know but i'm assuming that you either go in and nothing changes, you go in and they treat you, or you go in normal and come out crazy Doesn't seem like the route to go Just stuck there with actual fucking Looney bins >Afraid you'd murder yourself? Depends on what you mean/envision Suicide? I've thought about it Doesn't make it any less bad Eh, I'm not afraid The mind is a powerful thing I suspect I've gone mad and I believe that if the mind is strong enough to believe it's own lies, it's strong enough to fix itself
Easton Brown
>How much money from neetbux is cold hard cash and is enough to play with/buy toys? None. You can get cold hard cash if you don't have cold hard cash... but I have cold hard cash.
>I'm sort of envious right now user. No family, no friends, no job, solitude, beer It's really not a bad life. My brain is just broken.
>I envision just taking long walks and being alone. Day and night just meditating but that's just me I do love the freedom to do these things
>I mean I don't know but i'm assuming that you either go in and nothing changes, you go in and they treat you, or you go in normal and come out crazy It would be a last resort. If I felt like I couldn't resist blowing my brains out, I'd probably check in.
>I suspect I've gone mad and I believe that if the mind is strong enough to believe it's own lies, it's strong enough to fix itself What do you mean "gone mad"?
Parker Garcia
Broken brain? What is mean?
>I do love freedom 'MERICA!!!
Why blow brains?
>Gone mad? General confusion I've taken drugs before The mind can be scary, mysterious, odd I sound so elementary but yeah Life doesn't seem real It seems so fucking surreal Not the nihlism, not the rapes, tortures, murders, killings etc. That is reality but life in general, through my eyes, is no longer real
Christopher Carter
>broken brain? My neurotransmitters are in constant revolt. My seratonin is usually on vacation.
>that is reality but life in general, through my eyes, is no longer real Sounds like depersonalization disorder
