What are some quick ways for a 34-year-old guy to make some cash? Including unethical ways...

What are some quick ways for a 34-year-old guy to make some cash? Including unethical ways. I need to make about $800 by the end of August.
-They don't pay when you donate plasma here
-I really don't have any shit to sell
-I've got an 8-inch cock and slim body and was thinking of doing custom videos for creepy old rich gay dudes, but the market's probably oversaturated
-I won't sell drugs

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Find an old rich broad to fuck

Find some stuff at yard sales and sell it on Ebay for a higher price.

The easiest way would be to call every temp agency you know, go online and find them, and accept everything. Get paid weekly, buy a half of weed, and break it down.

A job

I've got one. Circumstances changed and I have a lot more expenses to cover.

You can suck 800 cocks for a dollar each or 80 cocks for 10 dollars each.

How about 10 cocks for 80 bucks a piece. Seems a bit more reasonable.

Way too low for my talents.

Try prostituting yourself.