Hey user, just between you and me, have you ever done anything illegal?

Hey user, just between you and me, have you ever done anything illegal?

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yes

got'em

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already did the time for it, so good luck

Never, officer. I promise

My family owns some property and most of our tenants are illegal immigrants. If they don't have the rent or they're short I make the women my bitches

i'm about to with you

Get bent, copper.

Groped a corpse once.
He had a super nice corpse.

I killed my step father's precious dog. They still think he just ran away

Yes.

Once had a drug deal for an OZ of dope and buddy goes "This is 'Name'. He's a cop".
Buddy only said it cause he thought I was chill.
I was.
Found out It wasn't his jurisdiction and he was actually a pretty cool guy. We talked the ethics of drugs. Who to enforce and who not, where the money goes, and patsy's. Best deal ever.

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Pics or it didn’t happen.

Ok, but now you have 4 kinds of STD's cause those bitches fuck anybody. Don't try that I wore a condom BS. No ya didn't dirty Sanchez, you.

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I once transported 1/2 a pound of cocaine across state lines

Every day

Me and my friends frequently drift down all the dirt roads here and pretent too be rally racers in our 90's shitboxs.

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Fuck yeah. Before scrap metal prices went up and mexicans moved in, me and a friend would go to the police auction and buy junk cars for $50 and beat the shit out of them.

I grew a cannabis plant and harvested and trimmed the buds then smoked it. I feel like John Dillenger.

In the winter we drive our shitboxsup and down the river, if they survive they go on a mountain tour in the summer.

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I don't take and keep a lot of pics. Best not to pile up evidence like that

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That sounds awesome. We would take them to an old brick factory sometimes. There were a few miles of homemade roads and the ground was clay. You could get a nice slide going

Drugged my wife and fucked her unconscious body in all holes. Slapped her hard af and it didn't wake her. My dick in her ass finally woke her. Here's the twist, she was voluntarily drugged and gave me permission, no, demanded that I use her as my fuck doll. Hottest night of sex in a while. Pic related...

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Please, these women only fuck their husbands once every leap year and that's it

Idk if thats illegal because no sex was done but I ate a drugged out friend of mines pussy and ass after we went clubing.

That sounds awesome, we don't got anything like that up here.
I live in a very rural part of Canada,

That's pretty illegal my dude.

shit well then nobody has to know lol

She’s not attractive like at all bro

Hitler Dubs

I raped a female office of the law.

Virgin detected

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You da man

Lot of more minor stuff, keying cars, breaking windows with rocks, slashing (more accurately stabbing) tires. Just a lot of property damage like stuff because its fun and really gets the adrenaline going.

Not in the last 8 years thanks to AA I realy hope the past dos not come back and fuck me iv bin a good person and helped others and charitys and shit . but I konw thares one thing that can come back and bite me one day I'd make up for it if I cud but it end my life and my familys so god giving me grace may let dead dogs lay as thay say

I use to wear the tshirt for sale outside the change room

I got cought torrenting once, forgot vpn
Fuck

Do you fuck them the day rent is due or do you schedule it? I'd be sure to fuck them on the spot and assert dominance immediately

I snuck a 19 yo into a bar.

I was very confused until I realized your american and cant legally drink until your 21.

Everybody hurts.

I fucked my brother.

This was the gayest thing ive ever read.
How the fuck is key a car and being a prick an adrenaline rush? Steal a shitty car and go on a joy ride, steal shit from stores, run red lights. You're spare parts arnt ya bud?

It's a retarded law, so I would routinely sneak 18/19 yo chicks I wanted to bang into bars

You guys don't have any hotter tenants ffs?

I found it funny when I leatnt americunts can't drink till 21. Shit by highschool i was a full blown alcoholic.

how's being 16 treating you?

Id like to hurt you faggot

no but im about to clap them cheeks

Nice try, FBI.

That post reads like you are drunk right now

20 actually, it is 19 too buy liqour here so it was really easy too get someone too buy you some from the lc.

I'm convicted of a first degree felony aggravated robbery

One time when I was a kid I stole a bakugan from kmart

Nigger?

>it is 19 too buy liqour
>too buy
>too
i can see drinking did you no good.

I did a 13yo her mom told on me to use me as a scape goat, to cover up her and her step daddy while her mom pulled out her step dads dick everyday for her, she now has nigger kids, because her brave mom told on whitey,attempting to cover up her crimes, what a Hero

No I'm a white junkie, i was trying to steal shit to cop dope

Are you 13, too?

After seeing your dick no wonder she wanted to be drugged

i fucked a 14year old when i was 22

How

Yeah I have actually
>proceed to tell her everything
well I guess you will be arresting me now

when i was 17 i had sex with a 14 y/o and bought marihuana with her

also broke some windows with empty beer bottles

>Unironicly being a grammar nazi over auto correct in 2019.
>Not even capitalizeing your I's.
I can see being a faggot did you no good.

Please tell me how?

Not at all, so no need to search my shit or follow me anywhere.

Trump has entered the chat.

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Knew bars that didn't card, knew bouncers, also knew back entrances.

> was the singer for a band in high school
> skipped 2 classes born
> before they went to a concert they went to my friends house
> friend of the drummer
> never met anyone from the band before just the drummer once
> had booze and weed
> first time she smoked up
> she had a reputation for sucking people off left and right
> alone in room of house of my friend
> start making out
> start fingering her
> she goes for bj
> in the middle i just put her on the bed and fuck her
> fucking happy
> find out she has a bf
> she tells bf before concert
> cries during concert
> never see her again

Can I use your back entrance ma'am?

that dog did nothing

>ass hair

No suh. Never suh. I never do nothin illegul

im a transimmigrant and you're harassing me

I once took a more than what you had when our what we had, huh, then the rest went on what could be called back from where it came.

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ASAP. But don't worry, I make sure to assert dominance no matter what. I like when they moan, loud especially, so neighbors can hear. It has to be before the next rent is due though so if the date's closing in, I show up and fuck them on a random day

This better? She's one of my favorite

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I drive in L.A.

Lost my virginity to a big titty nigger when I was 15. She kept fucking me in exchange for Xanax. When I would get to her place she'd take a shower and make me take care of her kids until she was done and we'd go into her room to fuck.

She would humiliate me and tell me my cock is small and I didn't know how to fuck, but she would teach me and let me cum inside of her sometimes. Picked me up from school a couple times as well.

Looks good to me. Are you full of shit though?

More pls

Nope

I set my elementary school bathroom on fire when I was younger

No, been doing it for years now. Even had to deport a couple husbands who've threatened to talk

She's just a dope fiend. She lives in the projects with her elderly aunt near a park my friends and I would hustle from. Sex was 5 bars. At first I would just bullshit and act like I knew what I was doing but then she got more dominant and showed me how.

I once recorded a football game without the express written permission of the NFL

Hanover Fiste : [about Stern] He never did... anything that was... illegal...

[pauses]

Hanover Fiste : Unless you count all the times he sold dope disguised as a nun.

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Thats fucked how you took care of her kids before fucking their mom. Did the grandma/neighbors/kids know?

Nice try officer.

Quite a bit when I think about it but all lowkey stuff. Drugs mainly, buying selling and using. Drunk driving, drug driving, speeding, driving an unregistered vehicle with false plates. Carrying a concealed weapon, owning illegal weapons and firearms. A little bit of B&E though I never stole anything. That's about it I think.

Her building is full of crackheads basically so I think they knew but just didn't care.

The old lady was pretty much dead. One of those sit-on-the-couch-and-not-move kind of people.

Her kids were too young but they would knock on the door sometime

I have sexual relations with my older sis

How was the sex? Was she exclusive with you?

My brothers and I kidnapped a guy, drove him 250 miles from his house, beat the shit out of him and then left him on the side of the road.

I once considered having sex with my wife, with all the lights out, under the covers, in the missionary position, purely for the sake of procreation. But, I didn't, so please don't arrest me.

It was great and I don't know. I never asked but if she was willing to fuck me for 5 Xanax, I'm sure she did more with other guys for similar payments

m.youtube.com/watch?v=3QkDcgtHf0g

Wasted trips

Sick fuck

Maybe illegal in the US. Logged into grindr, found a cute 16 year old fag, fucked him the ass and took pics with my dick in his mouth. Im 21

Any good fucks?

Yep plenty of petty shit. No felonies.

Of course

But thankfully double jeopardy is a thing

Pretty gay

Everyone has done something illigal. The question is:
>have you ever been caught?

When would you two fuck and how did she dominate you

So is the statue of limitations

Depends. Is pic related illegal?

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Loads. The best one was when I fucked a bitch standing up and against the wall.

Another time one bitch's kids where in the kitchen and I told them I was checking out their mom's room's ac.

They enjoy it though, they orgasm and are grateful afterwards

Was 26 in grad school. Met a hot 16 yo girl. Always brought her on weekends to my dorm to fuck. She was tiny. I loved walking around the university with such a young hot piece of ass.

Go eat a bag of dicks.
I dont see you complaining about necrophilia and dismemberment depicted in ocasions on this board. That just tells how a scum on this world are you.

Commit suicide.

I go to a public rec center to work out and at times when I shower I get hard and let the kids see my cock when showering. Not for sexual reasons but just to show off and make them uncomfortable. The reactions are funny to me.

smoke weed and get drunk on the street, either too early or too late

Cyber pirate.
Petty cash.
Sticky fingers but not a clepto.

One time I took a penny from the take a penny on a counter and i didn’t need it. After that I left the store and crossed the road but not at a crosswalk

Only things for which the statute of limitations has run out on or are outside your jurisdiction.

Oh shit, you're going to jail.

I rapped the shit out of this smoking hot cop chick that asked me questions.

I have an Alliance with a race of Gila Men..kind of illegal, also friendly.