How does one go about starting a cult?

How does one go about starting a cult?

I'm asking for a friend.

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Friend wants to start a cult where he's the almighty poopy, everyone gives him their money and blow him all the time.

You must be fairly charismatic and willing to put in a lot of initial recruitment work, the more isolationist rhetoric the better and if you should focus on making the potential members feel like they're being let in on a big secret that only you know

Sounds good! Should I make it a doomsday cult? Because I hear that at a certain point people start nagging "oh when is this doomsday supposed to be, almighty poopy?" and it gets annoying. Then the ATF comes in and burns the compound down I hear it sucks.

For my friend, I mean.

Doomsday cults are good for short term gains but a religion is gonna continue on after you've passed, use scientology as a general guide what to do if you're not gonna use an already existing religion or mormonism/jehovah's witness if you want to morph an already existing religion

Just join one that already exists.
Like the LDS.
If you want to follow a guy who was such a great person he was lynched and shot 7 times.

Step 1) Get amazingly good at sex.

Get back to me once you have accomplished this goal and I'll let you know what to do next.

Those are some mighty fine ideas. I mean basically I want to just brainwash a whole bunch of people in to always giving me all their money and blowjobs 24/7. Male, female it doesn't even matter to me a hole is a hole.

And NO KIDS damnit.

Are you trying to imply that your friend is a :
> " cult " ; ( s p )

Sounds like you got dis all figured out

It's easier if you have a steady stream of mind altering drugs too, more than just weed and booze you need shrooms, acid, opiates, DMT, etc. You can then pretend to dose with them and "guide" them to an enlightenment

No he just wants to have 50 million dollars and to get his dick sucked like all the time dude, ALL the time. like oh 10 am? guess its time to get my dick sucked. 4 pm? oh its time to get my dick sucked. U know? Just all the time.

Up to a point yeah, your advice has been really helpful. I'm just trying to figure out how I can get a ton of people in to my cult, then giving me all their money and blowjobs all the time.

Another user said I'm supposed to pretend I know the answer to a big secret. Well, technically I would I guess, the secret would be that these people really don't have a reason to do all these things. But would that be enough for my cult?

Thats also a really good idea, if they're just all tripping balls they have no idea that really I'm just scamming them and taking them for a ride.

Also I think I need some sort of a cool name, both for my cult and for myself. Like Zybex or something, or Chantor the amazement.

It needs to be a secret about the afterlife or how the world works, you can know it's total bullshit deep down but you need to learn how to act under pressure when you get the odd bold question or run into someone from outside the cult who isn't receptive to your BS

Make a normal sounding name for the cult and you can slowly make weirder and weirder names up as you move into the more secret parts of the cult, scientology is a bad name but it doesn't sound totally stupid and plays on stupid people thinking science is the new version of religion, they don't get into Xenu until you've already invested a bunch of money and have gone too far to back out without admitting you got duped

Ah right, i mean theres only room for one asshole in our cult and that would be me, i'm the main asshole. I don't want any nay sayers in my group "why would we give you money and blowjobs?" i mean it should be obvious to them that they have to do this to find ehrm, enlightenment and such.

I'm thinking I will call myself Poopy the Amazement, and my cult the Truth Organisation of Happiness.

Oh totally, and thats why I think that myself as Poopy the Amazement will totally work. I mean how can a man named Poopy, a prophet, be a bad man?

start a commune and and slowly instil you're views on them

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Watch the movie "The Master". Damn fine flick and it shows just how stupid mankind really is. After Heaven's Gate, I've given up hope for the human race.

So I should ease them in to giving me all their money and blowjobs you mean? How long would this take? A week? Or longer?

"Oh John! Bold and brave. He's finding us a family, he's teaching us the faith.
Oh John! Keep us safe. He's gonna march us right through Eden's Gate."
-Far Cry 5

Downloading it now, thank you for the suggestion! Saw it has some really good ratings.

Sounds good!

Just do the whole "non denominational" thing and get 2k signatures.
Where? Court ordered classes.
Why? To build a church you can wash money with.
What is the church. Pretty much an MC clubhouse. We offer housing and job placement to our flock.

As a priest I can visit incarcerated members of my congregation even outside of visiting hours. Now imagine how someone with cut off phone and video visits gets information across that wall.

How about you just join our faith and we get you established in whichever racket you can man.

Well its not even necessarily a racket or money making scheme, its more about "me time" its like I spent all my life in school and then work and I'm just sick of it. And I'm sick of paying taxes too. And I don't want any relationship I just wanna get my dick sucked. Its all I care about, I don't even care about fucking and I hate kids.

So I figured if I have a whole bunch of people just giving me money and blowjobs, i'd be all set. I just sit on my fat ass all day and get my dick sucked, and I can buy anything I want.

So its a win-win situation for me really.

Yall might be interested in this discussion
on discord
gg/ZvzJWr

Eat shit, Kimmo Alm 2.0

ww

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