User, I need help

user, I need help.
Will you help me?

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No, but we will listen for personal entertainment

What do you mean

we won't help you, but we will enjoy your story.

Who are "we"...
I am getting a bit creeper out...

Yeah, what's the problem, user?

With what?

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Well... what I need is simple. I want to get married to someone here. Anyone.
It is what they call "e-marriage". I'd like to engage in that and be married to someone. I want to feel fulfilled and have a e-husband. I do plan to be a good and loving e-wife, always listening and supporting my e-husband.
I wonder, is it possible? Does anyone want to e-marry me here?

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lol

STOP LAUGHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!