Write a letter to someone who may or may not read it

Please R if you think there’s even a chance it’s you I’m talking to, please message me. I’m sick and not thinking straight but hearing from you makes me feel alright, even if only briefly

K

I'm sorry for what ive done to you. I was cheating on you constantly because i didn't care about anyone or anything. After the military I lost my mind and wanted to be free, i was partying way too much and leaving you at home at night, I'd come home smelling like booze and cigarettes all the while you were working every day to support us because i didn't have a job. When I left for California to go to school i knew it would be the end of us, then finding out I got a girl pregnant before I left was the icing on the cake, telling you that after 5 years was the hardest thing ive ever had to do, you weren't even that upset more like you expected it. You were such a good beautiful grounded woman, I was a piece of shit who never deserved your love for one second. I am haunted every day because of the choices that I made all those years ago, I will continue to be haunted until the day I die knowing that I lost you the way I did. This November would be our 17 year anniversary, and yet every year that November 5 passes I fall deeper into depression over the fact that my wife now is a complete 180 of what I could have had. God damn I am a piece of shit. I still see you in my dreams and touch you and it heartbreaking waking up and you are not there....i love you and I always will, I wish I would have made better choices then maybe we would have children together like we always talked about. From me to you I am glad you never had to suffer another day with me and my mistakes, i hope you are happy, I hope you have a man who respects you like I never did.

-A

Hello me,
-the Real Me

S & J

Fuck you. I'm going to find you, wherever you are, and bash your faces into a pulp. You too, B. one by one, I'll find each of you and make you pay for what you did.

AB

Fuck you, piece of shit. I hope your neighbors find you, lynch you and rape your wife.

R

OK 2 things.
You need to get off Yea Forums you’re completely the wrong demographic, nobody wants you here.
Also, you’re a stupid cunt that thinks she’s superior enough to mess with other people’s shit even after you cause a wreck, you think your personal opinion is so important that you have the right to sabotage anyone that disagrees with you.
PLEASE fucking kys

Jesfer

For two years all we did was tear each other apart and derive pleasure from the healing of wounds we inflicted on one another. The definition of a poisonous, abusive relationship. For two years I convinced myself I deserved no better and couldn’t get anyone else. Then you revealed, after 90 minutes of probing into the truth I knew you hid from me, that you lied about your virginity, your age, and the country you lived in. If you had just told me you fucked your ex from the start, nothing would have happened. If you could just understand that you obsess over minutiae, that you need not apologize for everything, that you make mountains out of the finest grains of sand, and that doing this makes everyone else feel guilty, stressed, and drained, then our problems would have been few and far between.

And now more years still have passed and it seems neither one of us could get anyone else. I know I haven’t, but I can’t know if you have. I know exactly what you’ll tell me, that you’ve been all alone and had no one else the entire time, another tale of your noble suffering. I’ve tried, I’ve been on dates galore and had far more alone time. No one seems to really want me all that much, nobody’s clicking, and my pull for you grows. I know it’s because I’m addicted to the feelings and the stimulation you give me, just these shallow qualia that vanish as soon as they appear, and don’t mean much more than their basic firstness. What does the taste of an apple really mean? What does the sound of an airplane mean? It doesn’t mean anything, the closest thing to meaning it has is just however it affects your cognition in that tiny moment that’s gone forever as quickly as when it appeared from nothing.

1/2

A,
The time I have been your friend has been a complex rollercoaster. Of course it's my fault, because if my insecurities, and lack of confidence. I really enjoyed being there for you when you needed me, I enjoyed forcing myself to stay awake in order to comfort you through a bullshit long distance relationship that tore you to shreds. I enjoyed listening to your problems and trying my hardest to give you a solution that would make you happy. And most of all I enjoyed seeing you blossom into the strong, stunning, unstoppable, and happy woman you are today. But now that I have guided you to happiness, I feel like you don't need me anymore. I feel like I was a tool or a tissue that's all used up. Even though you stopped talking to me for a few months. I fell in love with you, hoping upon hope that you would guide me to happiness too. But it seems like you are repulsed by me. It seems like you see me as a lesser being because I asked you for nudes and then apologized like a baby. That's how my confidence, or lack thereof, broke our unbreakable bond, that's what I regret most. Now seeing you with a bland, ugly guy who lacks even the smallest morsel of a personality, makes me see that I should have taken my chance when I had it. Please, for your own sake and mine, help me to revive our friendship past a Snapchat Streak at 8:30 pm every night. Please engage as much as I do into restoring our bond so that one day maybe our dying friendship can flower into something a little more.

-CH

Dear X
I fucking hate you.
Y

2/2
I said when we broke up last that if I ever come back to you, it will not be because I love you, but rather because I’ll have given up on the idea that I could find someone who I’d have more success with, the hope of someone better and more stable, the notion that I deserve better, and I’ll have given up on life itself. I said that coming back to you means I’m just couple steps from suicide. I know you’ll have made some progress since we broke up, but I also know that you are possessed by your anxiety. We have so much pain, distrust, and damage between us. I still have resentment in me. You’re still overapologetic when you least need to be, unapologetic when you need to be most, and you’re still disconnected from reality. But I’m a lazy, mediocre man who still clings to hatred and vituperation. Perhaps we do deserve each other.

Yet, I know the key to becoming better is to not only transcend your circumstances but to transcend what seems like your destiny. It seems we’re destined for each other, for we certainly seem to deserve one another. But if I decide to be with you again, I know I’ll be giving up on any notion of my own improvement. I’ll remain mediocre, staying voluntarily in a carnal prison. We’ll have pleasures of all sorts, I know we’ll have so much fun together, more than we could with anyone.

3/2

But we’ll be captives of our own little Neverland, keeping each other in stagnation as we fast grow older and older, aging each other with our individual brands of toxicity. How quickly we’ll grow too old for the life we’ll live. The epidemic of gay loneliness isn’t just because of solitude, it isn’t just a barren desert, devoid of human contact. It’s also being adrift at sea, surrounded by water that is not only deficient of nutrition for the soul, but is brimming with elements that will accelerate your demise. And as long as I choose to remain in this purposeless lifestyle, I’ll have chosen to place a ceiling to my own development. But if I’m really gay, that’s okay, right? Because those under the rainbow never really want to grow up.