Hey Yea Forums, my girl of 5 years is just super depressed all the time...

Hey Yea Forums, my girl of 5 years is just super depressed all the time, its been something thats always been there tbh and ive been trying my damnest to make her feel better.

Fundamentally all she ever wants to do is sit around and smoke weed, she does keep down a job but she fucking hates it and the rest of the time does nothing.

I feel like I have nothing left in me, all my energy has gone into her and I still cant make her happy, like its just not happening.

I'm concerned because I dont necessarily want to break up with her but I dont feel like I can go on like this much longer. Im also worried if I leave her shes gonna do something stupid, like catch 22, I cant stay in the relationship but I dont want to leave 1#. because I love her and 2#. because its probably the worst thing that could happen to her in her current state of mind.

What the fuck do I do...?

Attached: dep.jpg (300x168, 5K)

bampity, I just dont feel like I can make her happy no matter how hard I try.

I guess it will end but then I care for her and worry where will she end up y'know..

Get out and don't look back. If you don't you're facing a lot of misery.

I have a retarded female too. Literally all her petty problems would be non problems if she listened to me. But she insists on ignoring how angry/frustrated/impatient/depressed she is. It'd be cool if she could take care of herself. But she can't. I'm trying to convince her to stop trying to make decisions when upset. Coz all she does is dig her own whole deeper without a valid argument of logic or why. And like, this is not even me being mean, it's just holding her accountable for causing her own hopelessness and dragging in others like her own discontentness has anything to do with other people around her minding their own business. Oh and she's incapable of asking for help when upset/impatient. It's like she's trying to act like a 14-16 year old only child. Acting dumb as fuck. Acting in a way that if I did that shit to my best friend i'd get punched and told they did me a favor coz I was acting retarded. And I'd be cool with being told I'm acting out of line and retarded because I don't live in fantasy emotional truth land.

Don't give her problem too much attention. Fix your own life to be great. She will wanna be included if your life looks great. And her own focus is her own power/inention. Her own focus decides whether she is running away from things she fears. Or trying to discover things she enjoys. You can't force people to feel a different way, but you can lead feelings with a carrot on a stick of hope/understanding.
Some people are just lame and make nonstop excuses when their fragile ego gets pressed a little

whats your age user and how long you been together?

Im 30 and im just looking at the situation like 'fuck , I cant spend the rest of my like like this..'.

Its so difficult because obviously your lives become so entangled, and with living together for 5 years you become really dependent on the person being there.

Ive had long term relationships before and when you break up its traumatic even if its just for the short term. But my current girl is so low atm its like if I break up with her will that be it.

Ive exhausted so much energy trying to get her to feel better, she has some really great qualities but the depression is all consuming.

this is kinda how I feel, theres always an excuse to spark up a joint, theres always an excuse why she doesnt want to go out and do the thing we planned for that day.

I've been speaking to a girl I was in school with recently whom always had a thing about me but we never hit it off. She is active and out the house daily, she handles her shit and its not a chore for her to go out and have fun, do exercise etc. She doesnt smoke weed and she really takes care of herself.

I find myself daydreaming that I could have a girl that is strong and like this, instead im here with this fragile broken creature who is the architect of their own demise.

How about not fucking a 5 year old
of course she is depressed

Be straight, open and empathetic with her about how you feel and how much you want help her and love her. Then try to sustain small lifestyle changes over time. A good example that worked wonder for me is going to the gym on a regular, even daily basis. Even if it’s only 30 minutes a day it does wonders for your head space, not a cure all but definitely helped me mellow out. Other examples might be to commit to doing planed activities at least once every to weeks and lower intake of weed by one does to start off with, Wait a month or two and try it again. That last one will probably take the longest. Also no brainer, but keep an eye out for a job she’ll like more.

yea i've been encouraging her to come to the gym recently as I think it helps with stress and endorphin levels, she turned round earlier today and said 'Its not the answer when I have anemia'. basically an excuse she doesnt want to go, but shes only getting fat because she does nothing and eats crap as a result of smoking.

How long has she been “smoking weed” and how often did she smoke before depression and while being depressed

like all her adult life shes smoked it, and tbh she smokes most days, she has always had bouts of depression.

And dont even, the amount of times ive said that it cant help with anxiety and depression etc. and she pays absolutely no attention , on the contrary she believes she 'NEEDS' it for her anxiety and depression.

Its pretty loserish tbh..

Do you smoke with her?

I smoke but not with her and not at the same frequency, like I may have a couple of joints over a wknd.

for her she gets in from work, rolls a joint and just smokes joints until she goes to sleep, every-fucking-day. Sometimes Im in bed at 10pm, and she doesnt come up till gone 12:30 as shes just staying up smoking even though she has work in the morning.

I've never understood people who smoke right before they are due to sleep, because to me its a waste of a high right? but she insists on it, always.

Was in the same situation Yea Forumsrother. still stuck here still sucks. get out now before it gets worse.

whats the story Yea Forumsro?

Its stupid, but I really do find talking this stuff out with complete user's really helps , impartial and wha not, aside from all the trolls or faggots that post of the various chan boards, Its the only form of 'social media' I need in my life lol.

Yeah, the weed is fucking her up, I’ve know a lot of people who smoke to get rid of their depression but all it does is cover it up while it grows and you’re too high to notice, she doesn’t over come her problems because they are hidden by a smoke screen. And shit bro, lot of people I know who make good bank only smoke weed to fall asleep, my brain goes crazy before sleeping, shit takes like 2 hours to fall asleep

Dude, I'm similar to your girlfriend but older and have been at it for way too long. 10 years.

I'm depressed and smoke weed.

I KNOW that if I stop and eat more and workout I will feel better in a month.

But I just like smoking weed more... for now.

I have taken 3-12 month breaks many times and they do wonders every single time. I bounce back with more energy and feel great. After awhile I end up going back to smoking because of how nice it is.. I think I take care of myself well by taking extended breaks. It gives my lungs time to recover and my brain to reset.

You should really do your best to reach a vital point of conversation with her and encourage her to take an extended break. It's gonna fuckin suck for awhile but in a few months things may look up. I don't know whatever other problems she has but I know she's probably abusing weed and it's not gonna sustain itself or make her mental state any better anytime soon.

Fell in love with a girl and we were long distance for a while which sucked but whatever cause love.

There were warning signs all along. When we'd be together she would spend the last day and a half we had together just crying hysterically, like a bawling child because she didn't want to be apart. She is justified in being upset but to waste an entire day together because she couldn't control her emotions at all should have scared me off but it didn't.

Eventually we ended up moving in together and when we were together all the time i started to realize that she didn't even really seem to want to have fun or enjoy herself. Anytime we were to do something fun, most of the time was spent with her stressing about some aspect of it or just being bitchy if she wasn't the center of attention. She'd also freak out anytime i was to leave the house and do something by myself.

Much more goes on but it's been a long ass time and it's too much to type out but the story ends with me accidentally knocking her up. I refuse to be without my kid so now i'm stuck for good.

yea like you say it covers it up whilst it grows under the surface, then when you abstain from it you get withdrawals that make you feel even more depressed.

I mean simply thinking about it, you are on pain medication for a long time and stop abruptly, now you are dealing with the paid 100% and its too much and you need the medication to dull it down, now either the cause of the pain is rectified and it goes away elminating the need of the medication, or you just keep on popping those pills. I figured that shit out when I was 16 and smoking daily for long periods of time and then you would get a draught (when local sources dried up) and would feel depressed for days.

Having smoked pot most my adult life I have found if you give up for a week, you will notice a considerable difference in your demeanor than after a few days. A few days I still feel slightly groggy and lethargic.

Ive been saying it for years, I mean lots of people drink daily but its fucking terrible for you, I have had problems with alcohol in the past so for me, if I was drinking daily, I would see it as a problem, its habit forming and its the basis of addiction. Why is weed any different...?

I didnt drink for 6 months this year then when summer came round was drinking alot again for about a month, bbq's and socialising and whatnot, and have since stopped again.

I think the weed thing comes down to the people you hang out with too, if you hang out with people that are happy to just vidya and rip bongs all day, thats what you gonna do.

If you have friends that will smash drugs at a festival but rarely touch the things otherwise, they are the best kinda friends because likely do other activities in their normal lives. Like I have a friend who has a jar full of blue valiums next to his bed incase he has trouble sleeping and probably an ounce of weed in the house. The stuff could be sat there a year without him touching it, but he has the discipline not to.

I have another friend who if he has that much valium in one place would be dead before the morning.

Its the habits we form, if its recreation or an emotional crutch that defines our relationships with such substances.

If its an emotional crutch its an indicator of something deeper underlying.

fuck son, brutal, and its abit similar, my girl was all fun loving and zest of life and travelling when we got together.

Last big holiday we went on courtesy of me, she spent most the time picking holes in things, complaining about the heat or something and generally didnt want to leave the various hotels we stayed at to go and explore.

Also the leaving the house thing, it was the same for you but on the flip side too, she at one point wouldnt leave the house without me holding her hand as it was, even just to go to the food shop. How can you have an equal relationship when one person is responsible for 95% of the responsibilities, that the counterpart cant even go and buy milk on their own.

Anyway I hope you kid appreciates your sacrifice when they grow up. My parents broke up when I was a kid and im glad of it, It made me a tough little fucker growing up tbh, my girls parents stayed together when they really shouldnt have and my girl resents that they did because her mum is a nightmare.

Take her to a child therapist. its not normal for 5 year olds to smoke weed.

these gois...

Dump her and move on

Nugs gonna nug. You are wasting your time. Tell her you love her but you are unhappy and explain what you would like your life to be like. If she is not willing to change behavior to make some steps toward your goals, you really need to get out of the relationship and start fresh.

I miss something or OP hasn't declared his and her age?
BTW are u co-living?

Anyway...
I started co-living with my 2year GF.
It's 2 month now, she is super-tired, her libido is the lowest ( we do 1 time a week ); if she had a better job to live decently I could dump her....

Also...
Are you afraid to be alone?

This is what MGTOW is all about. This is as much about you as it is her. You've got to start making some big boy decisions anons. Get your shit together.

Im 30, shes 27, we started co-living after about 6 months, stupid I know, 5 years later and moved 2 cities here we are, it wasnt always like this...

1 a week low lol, I had my first blowjob in over a year the other day because during an argument I just kicked off about the fact I wouldnt think twice about fucking another girl who was willing because the lack of sex.

Our sex is max twice a month atm, and even then its pretty fucking uninspired.

Part of the issue I think things have got this bad is due to our living arrangements and finances, its easier to stay together and keep the house and all the crap accumulated because I am not in steady employment (until I finish my course and should be earning well) , she flunked college and is working crap office jobs, yet still from my previous career I am actually the prime financially stable one in the relationship.

I am not afraid to be alone, actually this last year ive kind of been fantasizing about getting a flat to myself.

She I think is, since her teens shes always been in relationships, if we were to break up she would only have the option to go back to her parents, no real good friendship group (stoners) to rely on. I dont think she would fare well moving home, her dad is old and unwell, soon to leave this realm, her mum is neurotic and a fucking nightmare to be around most the time, like over 24hrs and you just got to leave that house.

Im concerned also when I start earning well im just going to kick her to the curb, and then that may cause her to an hero. I do want to be with the girl I met those years ago, but she doesnt resemble that person anymore and the negative aspects of her personality appear to be all thats left now..

Have you tryed rapeing her and makeing hre call you dady at the sAme time this worked for me

I'am always Personally I'am afraid to be alone, I'm waiting for some change to make up my mind ( her change of job, my change of job, me losing 7-10kg to be in shape ). I think that something should happen in 6 months otherwise a speech will be needed....

I can affirm that living with a lot of money makes everything better, at the moment I'm having some difficulties because of high standards I have before going to live alone.
Before with no loan, I had no problem in changing to the last phone or last camera or pc...

If u feel that u love her, keep waiting but gives yourself a deadline...

This isnt phrased properly, but hes right. Rape her. Give her something to cry about. She will realize life is not that bad and she will forever thank you for breaking her depression spell.

what age are you my friend.

This is a frustrating thing, im in shape, I workout etc. and get mired , she however is just getting fatter and fatter, shes not a big frame so its not really carrying very well, hence me trying to give her support to exercise etc.

If i'm honest I would really welcome being alone for a few years, I mean yea its great to have someone to come home to etc. but not when they suck all the life out of you, I need to hold back some of my energy for me y'know.

What I would like out of a partner is someone who is independent, can deal with their own lives, handle their own bills and want to go exercise for themselves or do shit cos its fun.

I literally feel like a carer more than a lover most days. I think the deadline will come round when I complete my course, when I can earn good money and afford a fancy apartment off my own back that will probably be when it comes to an end. If I could do it now I probably would have already, instead im kinda in limbo, dont want to spend all my savings because I have some hurdles to overcome. But stupidly even though we co habit Im always contributing more financially, she doesnt earn great money and can be abit stupidly frivolous..

You can always go to a couple's counselor. I know that sounds extremely lame, but they might be able to help refer to resources that can help you figure out what you can do for each other.

That's really the only alternative to ending it outright, and will also give you the ability to end it gracefully if that's what you prefer.

31 year old user here.... she isnt depressed shes just lazy from sitting arounf smoking weed all day.

Quit smoking pot and ul see how fast shes bored sitting at home doing nothing....

>pots ruining her life

>But my current girl is so low atm its like if I break up with her will that be it.

I'm 30, she is 2.
I bought home 2y ago the same time I started to date my GF( not connected ), 2-3 month ago she moved in.

My problem is my ex that sometimes comes to mind ( don't even know what she is doing, thank to god ). Being alone, it kinda scares me, but moreover she will be in difficulty being on herself, since her parents where not so happy of her moving to me...

I'm having moments of high and low, sometimes I'am super in love, others I'am low, mostly depending on sex/fapping xD.

Have you ever tought of having a lover or one night shots?
I had once, was not good but because of her being a mess.. ( no guilty at all, I'm for better to not know than knowing, I'm for the same party who claim to better phone home and tell I'm coming than open the door and find the wife with the lover xD )

Look around for other girls then and start something new.

You're dating a 2 year old girl?

holy cow....
I meant 26 years old XD

holy cow....
I meant 26 years old

what I mean is will she kill herslef.

As I already specified she would only have the option to move back in with parents due to shitty friends. her dad is gonna pass away soon and her mum isnt very nice, so, if I broke up with her she would be backed into a corner so much so..

this is basically on the cards tbh. Im speaking with this girl I was in school with who is attractive and I always got on with. Recently bumped into an acquaintances GF, they broke up, shes a slavic hottie and was giving me 'fuck me' eyes the entire evening, weve messaged each other a few times.

Ive started feeling alot less guilt about mild flirting with girls at my gym and generally out and about.

try to distract her from the weed smoking with healthy activites like swimming/running, or just eating out and trying to force her to have fun, it might work after a while

This.
Then, if you have doubts... THIS.

Try to fuck one, but make it safe ( not only condom speaking, but being catched ), makbe some online site...
It's hard if you live toghether, but helps to clear mind..

currently also doing this, Im starting her in the gym with mild cardio, she enjoys swimming but again will rarely go, im trying to ensure from now on we have an activity to do on the weekend that gets us out the house and away from the perpetual watching the same tv smoking joint after joint.

Not sure if this is a good thing on my part but the whole engaging with girls out and about im hoping to try make her a little jealous, so she feels inclined to work to keep me. If she sees other girls with a genuine interest in me, that go to the gym or whatnot and have trim bodies, then maybe she will want to compete to make sure she doesnt lose me.

Could backfire, I dunno.

yea this girl from my schooldays is away but actually lives around the area where some of my family are, so had actually planned to go and bed her at some point under the guise of 'visiting family and stayed at my old school buddys one night getting drunk'.

Same bro, been with my gf for 6 years now and clinical depression has always been a thing for her. I've just recently had a realization that I dont want to spend the rest of my life as a babysitter for her, that I also dont want to spend my youth taking care of someone else.

it could backfire but you might still dodge the bullet if you don't cheat on her

oh yeah, don't cheat on her, that'd be even worse than dumping her

maybe try to gradually raise the sports time (or even get a bit sexually assertive with her after sports, blame it on pheromones or something)

I'm going to say something harsh, but I want you to read it, think about all the typing and pouring out your heart to a bunch of random b/tards, and how you truly feel about her. Your selfless level of love and compassion you have for someone that seems to want to remain lost.

She will never love you.

She can't..... not the way you love her.

Find someone else, or even better, find your self first.

Good luck user.

DTB

Life is too short to surround yourself with miserable people. You aren’t captain save a ho.

Funny to see this from a different perspective. When I was a bit of a depresso fuck I tried reaching out to my girlfriend so she dumped me saying she couldn't "meet my needs". We were doomed from the start anyway but maybe you guys told her to leave me

did you just come to Yea Forums for advice? are you retarded?

Bro are you me, been with mines for 5 years and shes also like yours. She started doing weed too.

Trade her in for a new one, shes just a fucking chick.

If you can afford it, therapy. Nothing beats professional help and medication if needed.

Leave her, she commits sewer side.
Stay with her, be miserable...

Weed doesn’t help.
Social media doesn’t help.
Laying around all the time doesn’t help.
Making a change helps

You're both stuck.

She's stuck cause she is relying on you emotionally and isn't getting thr proper help for herself.

And you're stuck because you are in a draining relationship.

You have to move on. You are not the real reason if "shes gonna do something stupid".

After you break up with her, reach out to her friends and family. Apologize about it, say that you can't do it anymore and ask them to look out for her because you still do care about her.

This will help her because her friends and family will reach out to her and try to help her out too.

this is it, like 2 years into our relationship and I was like 'yea, we want the same things, we want to live in the wilderness off grid and produce our own food and away from rat race whilst I work away/offshore making more than enough money for our needs'.

Now its identical to you, I dont want to be someones carer the rest of my life, its like quadruple the amount of effort to if I was just living on my own. And if I was living on my own I could just fuck whomever I please.