I want to die

Mabey you could find somewhere else to work in a town with lower rent in general. If you are young you have alot of options.

Are you in any dept?

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Yeah I'm in the produce department right now, but they split my shifts up between that and being a cashier. The other guys in produce are all assholes to me and I hate interacting with middle aged women who yell at me. I'm only 19 right now so I guess I've still got time to fix things, but it feels like I'm stuck in a bit of a hole here. On one hand my position is stable, I'm unionized and unless I fuck up big they can't fire me. But things are also expensive.

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Get out of there working in a place surrounded by people who hate you is a couple steps away from Hell.

Keep your eyes open for opportunities. try to find a skilled trade you may be interested in. Trade school is a much better option than college for most people. You could gain a valuable education without mountains of dept at least in comparison to college. That or an apprenticeship if you can find one.

Keep your eyes open find some friends find people who truly care for you. Be brave open up yourself to people

Keep your eyes open search for the potential you of tomorrow. Find a goal that motivates you, conceive of a pathway towards it, and rid yourself of what is holding you back

Overcoming struggles such as these give life it's TRUE meaning, and improve your character. Take your life in your own hand a forge ahead. Despair, and nihilism will only destroy you. Take responsibility for your own well being, noone else will.

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Wise words user, thank you. I'll do my best to at least try and make things better.

I was in a much worse state a few years ago I want to help you the best I can. Mabey my story could give you perspective?

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Work smarter, not harder. Get a degree.

Yeah maybe

I don't have the money

Kill yourself, but take out as many people with you as you can. Shoot up ar bomb an antifa protest.

I know firsthand how malevolant those places are. Would not recommend especially for someone with no parental support. The universities are predatory organizations that turn people imtom indentured servants.

Unless she plans on going into STEM its worthless

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I have zero desire to hurt anyone but myself, and I'm a leaf so antifa doesn't even exist here

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Shit dude I'd get the hell out of produce and customer service. It is hellish and unforgiving. I only recommend it if you're working with a few friends, then it's pretty fun. Why are they assholes though?

HEY Op at least you dont have 5 kids like my faggot white nigger co workers who is proud of govt assistant, in the old days his blood line would have been gone long ago..

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I mean I'm on Yea Forums, it's pretty obvious I'm socially awkward at the very least. They're not terrible to me, but they tease me enough that it's not really teasing anymore and borderlines harassment at times. And they leave all the shittier parts of the department for me to deal with.

That sucks ass. Have anything at all fun planned? I know how much a bit of time away can help these shitty situations.

Not at the moment. I'm a /g/tard so I have a few computer parts coming in but that's literally all I have to look forward to right now.

I enrolled in college after high school had to move out because of the distance from home. I had no idea what I was doing I can barely remember what I was majored in. First two semesters in I was already in 10k dept from tuition and rent. I felt trapped I had no aspirations no goals, and wallowed in misery and despair.

4 months I went to class came to my shit dormroom noone bothered cleaning, and layed in bed contemplating my misery. I began to hate myself. For my indecisiveness, and incompetence. I was failing many classes. I felt I was doomed to be nothing but working minimum wage paying off the dept from a worthless degree I had no idea about.

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That's a pretty big deal at least for me. Still it sounds like things are really stagnant and in need of a drastic change of ANY kind.

Get a loan like an adult and spend 2 years learning a trade.

community colleges are perfect fit, and dont come with the baggage of a uni.

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Fuck man, is it at least any better nowadays? That's a real rough situation and yeah it's worse than mine for sure

I agree

Takes a lot of courage to kill yourself
If you had that much courage, you'd be able to ameliorate your life.

Too bad, you're stuck in the grey zone of
average happiness for ~50 years

Let me guess. As a Pepsi retailer?

I discovered I wasnt the type of person who would just off myself, I was the type who would get angry. I hated the world for all the pain I put myself through I hated myself for being such a fool to believe my teacher and parents.

Then I went mad

How could anyone justify this terrible world we are born to suffer our entire lives and die. What's the point of life if we all suffer.

So I got a gun I was going to bring it to campus, to help people by ending their suffering now. I though it would be mercifull.

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welcome to the club

me too

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Same yo

You're probably low on pay but try going to a bar on the weekends. Try to bring a friend so it isn't as lonely if you can. maybe he/she can buy you drinks too if they're kind enough.

Jokes on you I am literally gonna kms.

Then I had a dream

I was
In a hospital and witnessed the birth of my son, to a woman I knew yet did not know. The boy had my eyes and nose. It was the most meaningfull moment I have experienced in my life yet it was a dream.

I woke up and cried for several hours
I turned myself into the police

I received alot of therapy, and medication. I wasnt allowed on campus anymore. Working through intensive therapy my parent helped me find a job, I worked off the dept after a year.

I became a Christian and read alot of phycology, and philosophy. I found a field of science I was truly passionate about, and found a university a few states over I could actually attend.(some state law workaround gues). I enrolled toward a degree in Biochemistry, that I have progressed through very well, I should graduate next spring with only 10k dept because of scholarships from my academic performance, and working on the side.

I have made some friends and have started dating again.

I have come a long way from the vindictive malevolent person I was.

I'm not sure how this can help, I had the benefit of a strong mind, but I'm sure you can persevere.

I don't think I will ever truly forgive myself
I need to sleep now

God bless you.

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I wish I could murder all of my predators. Don’t come to Ohio its full of white supremacist losers

what are you waiting for then?

Jesus Christ, that's some heavy stuff. Genuinely hope you're alright now, Seras-user

The hell of everyday life has made me realise something. You need to find people who contribute financially & live with them.

Seems like the only way to live is get a top tier job at the expense of thousands of dollars for education or live in a clustered group.

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