Well Yea Forums I'm completely fucked. My autism probably just cost me a job
>be me >working a shitty desk job >also have massive foot fetish >new girl started in the office this week >9/10 blonde >dickisdiamonds.exe >be today, about an hour ago >on my way out for lunch and walk past her cubicle >notice that hot coworker left an extra pair of shoes by her desk >sneak in and start sniffing them > "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING" >turn around, coworker is standing there with horrified look on her face >my face is still buried in her shoe, I have no excuse >panic, drop shoe and book it out of there, knocking her over on my way through >get in my car and drive home
I just checked my phone, there's 4 missed calls from my boss and a voicemail I'm too scared to open. Is there a way out of this or should I just neck myself?
man up, face your own mistakes and just get another job
Caleb Fisher
Lmao jesus christ user
Nicholas Rogers
What a summerfag
Isaac Sullivan
Oh fuck.
Please be true.
You can say, something smelt bad and your saw the shoes and sniffed them cos the smell was like cheesy feet. You were doing a public service and you are horrified that this woman is making out something horrific. Add you've worked there for years with a blameless record until this new member of staff arrived! Insinuate she's a trouble maker!
Andrew Morris
Just kill yourself and be done with it. Die a happy man with the scent of her disgusting hooves still in your nose....
Brody Ramirez
That would have been good if he had said that right away. It's a bit late now given his initial reaction and that now he's ignoring calls
Colton Bennett
Tell them you can smell explosive residue like those dogs at the airport and you were just doing your patriotic duty in rooting out the terrorist shoe bombers.
plus who the fuck brings a spare pair of shoes to work? That's just suspicious.
but seriously, your main mistake was running. If you had just stayed and come up with a lame excuse, you would have gotten a stern talking to by HR and it would have blown over eventually. People would always laugh behind your back but you'd still be employed. Leaving the job while on shift without cause on top of that though just makes it super easy for them to cut you loose.
Blake Wright
He could say he didn't want to say the new girl had smelly feet. Hes a nice guy and humiliating the woman isn't in his nature. He didnt want her hauled before HR and possibly lose her job so he kept quiet. The path to hell is paved with good intentions.
Lucas Foster
Having a fetish is not a bad thing. A complete lack of fucking self control is though. Tell us whats on the voicemail.
Adrian Lopez
Like I said, I'm too afraid to open it. I don't like being yelled at
Oliver Flores
Dubs demands voicemail be Heard
Carter Cooper
reminds me of my last job.
>girl in the cubicle next to me is super hot early 20s latina >it's in the corner out of sight from everyone >every time she left for lunch or left for the day i'd go sniff her seat >sometimes lick it >after a few weeks, get "invited" to a meeting with the manager >think it's about a new task at work >HR lady is there >am told that there are cameras (i thought they couldn't see her cube) and they monitor them regularly >"please be aware that any inappropriate conduct will be dealt with in the future" >both looking at me with thinly veiled looks of disgust, but they never directly bring it up >stop sniffing her seat, just go back to staring at her ass whenever i can
I ended up leaving the job for unrelated reasons. I didn't bother asking for a reference though, that would have been retarded.
Justin Young
nobody does. You know what they're going to ssay, just bite the bullet. You're going to have to contact them eventually.
Matthew Miller
Voicemail the dubs have spoken
Jace Williams
Say you're sorry for running but you panicked because all along you wanted to avoid confrontation and the girls blushes. What else could you have done? Stand there and tell her her feet stink....sort it out you pig? Throw in a little medical bullshit like you get bad anxiety maybe some autism?
Jack Price
How in the fuck do you degenerates grow up with such a lack of social boundaries, weird parents or something?
Matthew Stewart
Girl once caught me taking a picture of her cute little tight ass at an office job. She was on her knees on her chair talking over her cubicle to a co worker infront of her. Since she was short she had to stretch to talk to her friend and would stick her ass out. I couldnt resist glancing every second since im right behind her. Seriously wanted to pull her romper to the side and lick her ass sweat and tounge her booty hole. So I decided to record with a full boner and got caught like five seconds in.
Jacob Bell
What did her seat smell of? Stale fart? Wtf user why? Thats even more messed up than footanon. What is your major malfunction son? Was your momma on drug's during pregnancy?
Josiah Perry
when you're 28 years old and have never even been on a date in your life, you start doing some weird shit to even feel remotely close to a woman. It's the closest I'd ever get to her ass so that's what turned me on, not the smell.
Juan Gray
(diff user here) I was like this in my old job. woman had a really really disgustingly stinky pussy. you could smell it from outside the closed door booth. I never told HR tho. I didn't want her to lose her job and I only had to endure it for half an hour on the switch over
Adrian Lewis
I’d hardly call that autism. Learn some fucking self control
Luke Martin
Lol wtf would you tell HR? I guarantee you if you ever claim to be able to smell some stank ass pussy (even if you can) nobody going to do a thing about it.
Jonathan Rodriguez
When you're 28 and have never been on a date you need to start seriously considering where your life is heading. Please for the love of God tell me you aren't full wizard already? Look after yourself man, there's someone out there for everyone. You just gotta believe in yourself a little bit
Brayden Bailey
Exactly. What could you say to HR. Mary in admin has a really stinky cunt? You took the bullet for her. Shoe sniffer was trying his upmost to protect the girl. He is a goddam hero! Yea Forums salutes you!
Zachary Butler
you can definitely report coworkers for smelling bad. You obviously don't say it's her pussy, you phrase it in terms of poor hygiene making it harder for you to do your work.
If you've ever worked with indians, especially nerd indians in a computer programming job, it's absolutely necessary. It's a matter of productivity, I can't work if I can't breathe.
Christian Miller
i'm 34 now and i've banged a few hookers. Still no date though. I did go on an international trip with a girl but we sslept in separate rooms and ended up fucking some random dude she met and dragging him along with us for the rest of the trip so I don't think that counts.
Easton Perez
OP here. I just listened to the voicemail and my boss is PISSED. He yelled at me for taking off without clocking out or telling anyone. He also said that a compliment had been filed against me with HR concerning "inappropriate sexual conduct" or something like that. I have a meeting with boss and HR Monday (office is closed on Sundays) to explain myself.
I'm thinking of making an excuse for leaving (family emergency or something ) and just denying the shoe thing. There's no cameras so really it's my word against hers
Joshua Myers
oh I absolutely could have told HR. and of course I'd be more polite than saying she has a smelly pussy. but I didn't tell HR cause I didn't want her fired honestly came close one time tho. had the phone in my hand
Benjamin Price
I used to be in job where my boss was a real bitch. I used to wear Farenheit aftershave (it was the 90s) every so often. She always complained that it gave her a headache. As soon as I knew that, I'd wear it everyday. Wtf could she do about it?
Chase Parker
better to say you smelled dog poo, not cheesy feet... then again it won't explain why you were sticking your nose IN the shoe. just open the voicemail, can't undo it now
Easton Brown
Ima go out and say if she went on a trip with you she was totally dtf. You shoulda Just made the move. Chance is gone but others will come along. Do not blow it next time. Literally what's the worst thing that happens if a girl says no? Fuck your ego bro, think of that sweet nut when one says yes. Ask a thousand times if you have to. You know how flattering it is to a chick when a guy asks for her number? Even if she says no it's still a win, gets easier to deal with every single time.
Zachary Kelly
Honestly that’s your best bet. Good luck Yea Forumsro
Gavin Sanders
that is such a bad lie. Yeah, you just HAPPENED to find out about a family emergency the instant you got caught sniffing a shoe. They'll see right through it and you'll be digging your grave deeper.
Just fess up - tell them you panicked and assumed you'd be fired on the spot. Be humble, express remorse, and hope they give you an alternative to being fired. They aren't calling you back in to chastise you, they want to see if you're mature enough to keep working for them. You can still salvage your job, but of course your reputation is totally destroyed.
Xavier Flores
pffffff stand up for yourself man......
Isaiah Hernandez
You should forcibly take the shoes on her feet and run out the door before the exit interview.
Don't DNA the meeting. Say yes you picked the shoe up but to simply see if the smell was coming from there. The girl got the wrong idea and you are offended! Remember to be offended. You're a public spirited chap. Say you just wanted out of there. You didn't want her to be offended. It all spiraled out of control. You wish you just ignored the smell and let someone else deal with it.
Grayson Murphy
tell them you were sniffing them because they smelled like the grossest fucking thing ever and you were trying to figure out what it was, and she came in at the worst moment, you got super scared because of the metoo thing where women can vaporize your rights as a man over a slight indiscretion so you ran.
pls don't fire.
Jaxon Ramirez
Dog shit would mean you looked at the sole. Cheesy feet means youd have reason to investigate the inner shoe. The user jumped when he saw her and the reflex action is bring your arms up, like a boxer meaning the shoe ended up by his face. Also the angles made it look far closer than it really was.
Wyatt Morris
Thats dumb. Don't be making excuses. Youre way too far past the point where They wont immediately see through your shit. You should really consider everything thats gone down here and accept responsibility for your shit. If your boss sees that you MIGHT have a chance.
Samuel Torres
lmfao yeah dont go back
Ayden Harris
whatever excuse you pick, STICK TO IT. don't even change your story once cause they will instantly know that way. doesnt matter if you pick the dumbest story ever as long as you stick to it.
Logan Watson
for real, if you try and explain it away like it's not a big deal or try and excuse it, you're 100% getting fired. If you show contrition and willingness to improve, they might still fire you because you're a creep, but they might give you a second chance. You'll be on a VERY short leash for the rest of your time there, but at least you'll be getting a paycheck.
Isaac Allen
This. Make her seem like the bad guy
Jordan Carter
no excuse will work because he ran. If he had stayed and presented his excuse, maybe he'd have a chance, but innocent people don't bolt from the job like that.
Fuck off. She made him feel uncomfortable and that's why he booked mixed with the bad shoe smell he was trying to find. Its easy to make up a lie and twist it on them
Easton Cook
Just go to the meeting on Monday and let them talk first. Make them tell you what they think you did. If true, fess up. You can embellish a bit. Just give them some sob story about how you're lonely or what ever and maybe they'll take pity on you. Maybe it'll give you a chance to reflect on what a fucking degenerate you seem to be. Smelling shoes? Seriously? The fuck is wrong with you?
Logan Bell
tbh you deserve to fired. take it like a man
James Carter
what if the first thing they say is “so, tell us what happened the other day user....”?
playing ignorant after ignoring the calls and leaving without clocking out? oh i get it, we’re giving user advice to paint himself under worse lighting, epic xdddd but sniffing coworkers shoe is bad lighting enough, sorry user if you can’t control yourself in such a way that you do something like this, maybe look for a job where you can work from home instead
yeah, that's totally going to work in today's society. He's a man (well, technically), he's presumed guilty. The lady has already filed a sexual conduct complaint against him. He's dead to rights unless he bends over and accepts his lashings.
Aiden Bennett
Your managers are legally required to address sexual harassment complaints Immediately, and if you do anything to delay their process they're gonna get pissed off and give you a harsher punishment. Just cooperate with them and you may be able to keep your job
Luis Ross
VOCAROO THE VOICEMAIL
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD MAKE SOMETHING HAPPEN ON Yea Forums YOU GLORIOUS WINGED FAGGOT
>this is real and actually happened I know but I can dream.
that is the saddest shit I've ever heard. Separate rooms? I would've made my move before we even planned the damn trip.
You should've said something like..
Why baby? Separate rooms? These hotels are cold. I can keep you warm.
Any normal guy would've bruised the fuck out of her cervix.
I won't make fun of you anymore but you need to reevaluate your life. You need therapy. Start with non-dominant handwriting. Get to the bottom of your issues.
Leo Powell
no. you click on 'save this recording' and then get a couple of sharing options, it should be a short link
Jonathan Wood
In 4 voicemail
Cameron Allen
You can't go for an excuse, its going to look so fucking obvious. Even if you tried to go for cheesy feet or dog shit, it wouldn't explain why you left in the middle of the day after getting caught. Unless you try to say you were scared that it would be interpreted as sexual and freaked out.
But thats still fucking transparent.
Josiah Young
BUMPING FOR VOCAROO VOICEMAIL
PLEASE OP BE A FUCKING LEGEND
Adam Harris
subhumans don't deserve to live with the rest of us. Into the sewers you must vacate
Cmon op. Post the voicemail, it'll go down in Yea Forums history. People will remember you forever. It can be the one glorious thing that comes out of this otherwise shitty situation
Sorry for the delay. I couldn't figure out the vocaroo thing but I did figure out how to post the audio on YouTube. It's processing now, will deliver soon
>that is your own mistakes you should know by now what Yea Forums can do to you >..Oh well... at least you did not end like zoomerchan just look what Yea Forums did to him
All footfags deserve what comes to them. Whatever that may be. Fucking degenerates
Cameron Watson
Just say thta you thought somethings smells in your office and youve smellt it the whole day. You thought that it is that coworkers feet. Couriosity got you and you had ho sniff if youre right. Then when she saw you you paniced because you thought that she will report you for sexual abuse to the boss or whatever.
