I dont feel good mentally, Yea Forums. I've been posting here for like a decade, but im at a low point...

gang shit

Need any more suggestions?
Buddy, I know this is bad news, but unless you fucking change your life drastically you will end up reeeeaaaally unhappy.
Sorry about that.

this is so deeply nihilistic. I'm an existential absurdist insofar as I believe in struggling towards a better world despite my increasing feeling that there's no clear path forward

if we don't set a fire someone else with worse intention may take advantage.
my goals are lulz.
my god is chaos.
your suffering is as meaningless as your contribution.
might as well laugh.

Do you do things like:

-fap to traps
-participate in roll threads
-browse/create rekt threads
-participate in circlejerks with other lonely losers

If so, this may be your problem.

Your "god" may be chaos, edgelord, but when you get your chaos and lulz, you'll be paying to Jesus as a nigger stomps your head.

I dont do any of those things. I try to do things I like:
-watching arthouse movies
-reading
-meditating
-socializing with friends

and I just dont feel much in doing them anymore.

You're probably depressed.

>edgelord
kek
back to /pol/ with you
reddit even faggot.

Imagine Sisyphus happy my man. I dont want to mock my world with ironic detachment, I want to actively create a better world, regardless of whether or not I can.

Clearly I am, what I'm saying is that I have yet to find much of a path out of it. It feels very environmental to me, the more I think about the world around me, the more I detach from my prior interests and just sorta become a body that is doing manual labor.

Depression doesn't lead to any paths, it's an illness. That's like asking "what is this meningitis trying to teach me?" nothing. It's a disease and if you don't treat it, it will only harm you and/or kill you so get it treated.

good for you faggot.
I hope you're ready for victimhood sir knight.

proud resident of kekistan right here

That's a scientific explination but not a causal one (Mark Fischer wrote something about this but I'm blanking on his terminology), basically the illness part is that my brain is definitely low on serotonin, the question is why. I think that it's a result of understanding enough about the world to drop my idealistic beliefs when I was young but have nothing to take up the position of driving force in life. I feel like I realized I believed a lot of bullshit and now I'm left with vague aesthetic interests that I barely feel connected with. I feel like my body and my brain are deeply separate entities.

what are you even talking about, my dude? "ready for victimhood" in what world would I be victimized?

You're romanticizing mental illness. You know who does that? Teen girls. It's not fully understood what causes it, but it's most likely genetic and treatable. Refusing to treat it for some poetic reason like "ahh I've become so disillusioned" is just shooting yourself in the foot. Take it from me, a long time sufferer of depression. I fought hard to resist taking medication but now I'm on it and I'm better. Not perfect but better.

Attached: proxy.duckduckgo.jpg (696x387, 48K)

I'm not refusing to treat it for poetic reasons. I hate it. I dont want anyone else on this planet to feel bad. I'm saying that there are factors beyond genetics that cause it. I'm in treatment.

Microdose on Shrooms. The feels will hit you like a truck. I know everyone is different and will have different experiences, but i shit you not, it put me in a different state of consciousness.

How long have you been taking medication? Do you take it daily? It doesn't work if you just take it now and then when you remember.

I have the same problem, everything feels just empty and pointless. No matter what, partys, drugs, even pussy.
When I'm not working I usually stay at home, smoke weed and do pointless shit to kill some time.

Attached: D7-ePVbUEAAmXG4.jpg (563x689, 28K)

doesn't work

daily for almost a year.

Where do I find some nice Hitlers?

Attached: 1560960037200.png (469x387, 258K)

me, but with leftist politics.

What do you take? Dosage? Might need to try something else. It took me a while to find the right medication for me. Unfortunately the science is still nascent so a lot of it is trial and error.

I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder with psychothic episodes. What does this even mean?
Can someone explain that to me?

Bipolar is when sometimes you're depressed and other times you're manic. It used to be called manic depression. Psychotic episodes means you sometimes exhibit psychosis; which includes things like dissociation, paranoia, auditory hallucinations etc.

40mg of Prozac (the classic baby!) daily. I'll see what my doctor says about other treatments (obviously no drug will stop all symptoms outright). That said, I legitimately dont want to dismiss my societal critiques as just me being crazy. Me (as the crazy person) thinks that there is a general emptiness to mainstream culture (and really most niche cultures as well) that certainly does not help with mental health, especially with art bitches like me.

You are not happy because you know what you want to do but you're not doing it, instead you listen to your demons and procastinate all day. The only solution to your problem is movement.

I'm literally doing the exact thing I've wanted to do my entire life. And what i discovered is that it didnt give me anything at all.

Maybe you'd be happier with a boho lifestyle. I'm not acting like I have all the answers. I'm an artists too (more accurately a musician these days) and I often feel adrift in a sea of mediocrity and compromise so shine on you crazy diamond and godspeed.

Bro are you sure you're doing what you've always wanted to do?, if that's true, then you're so fucked man. If I were you I'd go to a fucking cave and meditate for 1 month or something.

Fuck, that means I'm officially a lunatic now. I always thought there is at least some hope left for a normal life.

My entire life, I've wanted to be a filmmaker. I'm an experimental filmmaker now, and my work especially focuses on trying to use cinematic language to emulate for the viewers the process of meditation (as in my films could be used as a tool by someone to aide their meditation) but what I'm increasingly finding in my work is that while it offers me the ability to communicate in a language I am actually articulate in, communicating is no longer the goal. I dont care if people understand me anymore, in fact I generally loath those who do. I just feel some weird disconnect between consciousness and body.

Not necessarily. Bipolar is fine, and depending on the symptoms you experience from the psychotic episodes, they can easily be a non-issue (for instance, dissociation sucks individually, but ultimately its fine socially)

That's actually quite interesting. What about traveling around the world trying to "find yourself"? And at the same time you could record it and make a documentary, I don't know. It could be good, considering you don't care about anything, maybe you'll find what you need outside ur country. Just backpack, u don't need a lot of money to travel.

There's definitely something to that. I generally like the more ambient experimental documentaries like Koyaanisqatsi and stuff. I've felt for a long time a desire to kinda be on my own, my worry is that when I've lived alone previously, I've sorta spiraled into much more severe depressive cycles.

People with bipolar can live very normal lives with the right medication and therapies. Don't give up hope it's all we have as human beings.

antidepressants work

In the last few weeks I noticed that I really hate to be alone, but want to be on the other side. Humans just disgust me.

FYI it's a bio-chemical problem. Try eating only fatty cuts of steak for a month, see how you feel.

You miss striving towards the return of the soviet union?

>has a heart attack

fall in love and have kids. if there was ever an innate sense of purpose and importance that has been added to my life, it is in my family.

Implying meat causes heart disease lmao. Idiot.

I'm a doctor

welcome to adulthood

nih.gov/news-events/nih-research-matters/eating-red-meat-daily-triples-heart-disease-related-chemical

k

Attached: 1502804110999.png (432x504, 180K)

You should talk to a professional therapist instead of posting this on Yea Forums. Everyone here is an idiot that only has vague advice that isn't directly tailored to your situation.

Posting your mental health issues on Yea Forums is like telling Yea Forums that you hurt your arm playing sports a few months ago and it's been hanging weird and hurting the whole time when you raise it above your chest.

No matter what anyone says in Yea Forums the real answer is to go to the fucking doctor and find out for sure. Treat your mental health issues the same.

Attached: deadpool-ver9-11e99.jpg (575x414, 94K)

you mean asking a bunch of sweaty incels for life advice isn't a sound course of action? who knew

depression =/= spleen, blues...

Does it feel like you've conditioned yourself into sore numbness unintentionally? Maybe bored of the same mundane bullshit that rinses and repeats with feelings of hopelessness keeping you from wanting to try? Feeling exhausted after forcing yourself to try?