ITT : Douchebag genie

all of the blacks and mexicans to be out of the country

Attached: 1547704848200-b.jpg (651x597, 42K)

After your first death, you slowly ascend. You have made this wish, and cherised it, waited for its completion. It is time. Endless reincarnation.

A black tunnel. Light. You wake up, slowly, but surely. You look at your hand.

At least, you try.

You will habit the body of a newborn, constantly recieving is flux of consciousness, and being a mere spectator of his body for his entire life. When he will die, you will inhabit another, still incapable of action. You are immortal, a god in the machine.

You are incapable to act. You are a spectator. Eternal life, only in order to watch the world through the eyes of other.

You don't throw up after drinking this alcohol. You never throw up again.

Vomit stays clenched in your throat every time you try to Luke, burning your oesophagus like one trillion bottles of burning acid. Then you swallow up, and you didn't puke.

One day, you will accidentally swallow a ball of ping-pong. You will try to puke, only for it to stay in your throat.

You die of suffocation.

Holy fuck you sperg these could easily by carved down to 1sentence each.

You have only one dollar.

For the rest of your life, if you spend this dollar, it will burst back into existence. If you win another dollar, it will disappear into nothingness.m, leaving yourself with an eternal balance of one dollar.

Any tricks like lending money or paying in multiple tomes will fail.

You can buy things that cost a dollar or less.

granted now i won't use any punctuation but still write in that horrible fashion, effectively reducing my phrases to one sentence.

eh,i probably deserve it.i dont usually binge drink as much as ive done this week

i have to wake up early tommorow to.lord help that considering the hangover im gonna have

Actually lol'd.

Granted

One day, you will meet a beautiful woman, funny and interesting, that will share common interests with you

It will be love at sight

After a few months of hanging out, you will look at her and confess your love for her, gazing upon her beautiful eyes

Then you'll stress, and you'll feel the biggest fart mankind ever forged coming out of your anus, ready to unleash one trillion years of agony and pestilence upon your loved one.

Granted

I get a good life, getting quite wealthy and stuff
One day, by introspecting, I realize all my success is due to you
I start psychoting, the better my life being, the more my mind telling me I deserve none of this
It's absolutely crushing, despite my good life
I hate this

I hang myself, thanking you in my last breath.

Granted, economy crushes down completely and the society collapses onto itself

People realize you're the cause of their downfall, and a pack of rogues quickly behead you a few weeks after the Great Collapse

Needless to say, Bitcoins miner still mine bitcoin and aren't even aware of what is going on.

Granted

You wake up early tomorrow, giving time to reflect on that Yea Forums thread

In a moment of horror, you try to puke, fearing the worst

The good news is that you still puke, the bad news is that you have to clean up, now.

Granted

You're constantly high on life, you look dumb as a fucking rock, and every one of your friends leave you out because you look like a tard in public

You bad trip.

nah,im waking up early tommorow to go out to eat breakfast

either way,didnt sleep last night.suprised im still up right now considering the amount of alcohol ive had today

granted y'all ar kangz

Granted

They get moved at lightspeed to the nearest American border, instantly vaporizing everything in their path, leaving nigger-shaped holes everywhere and trail of doom in their paths.

you're not welcome