Hey guys,
I don’t normally post here but I think I’ve reached my breaking point. I don’t want to hurt anyone, not even myself, but I feel like living knowing i fucked everything up in my life will be more painful than just letting myself fade away peacefully. I’m not calling a hotline or talking to someone I know about this because I’m afraid that I’ll get myself in more trouble but I’ll be glad to give more context to my story if anyone wants to hear. I want to live, but I don’t know how. Also, I made an instagram account that I haven’t shown anyone, the name is I_am_completely_alone (dumb emo name I know)
I mostly just post my feelings on there, it might provide some context as to how I feel and what I’m dealing with. The earth really doesn’t revolve around me and y’all probably don’t give a shit, so however you feel, I understand. Thanks guys.
Hey guys
Also, if I didn’t make it clear enough, I really don’t want to kill myself. I’ve tried before, it’s not fun. But I just don’t know anymore
Where do these feelings come from?
Ok user.
better try the depresion board
Neglecting parents, being physically bullied all my life until late high school. I walked in on my best friend fucking the girl of my dreams the same day my only father figure died, causing me to go manic for three years. (and to this day) I’ve been unable to work or do school stuff. There’s a lot more but that’s the tl;dr. Feel free to ask any questions you might have.
Thanks man, I might just go there. I don’t really know much Yea Forums.
Unable to work? How come?
Hey you wanna talk on wicker,snapchat,discord or kik
Well, I try my hardest to do stuff, and something just blocks me. It’s hard to explain, but I just get tired and lose focus. Sometimes I get physically dizzy. It’s really strange. This also applies to stuff I enjoy doing.
Dude, what are yah, in your 20's? Come on dude.....get a hooker or something if thats what you think you need to feel something. Offing yourself ain't the way
Hey man I really appreciate that you want to talk to me, feel free to dm me on Instagram under the name in my post, but that’s the only real anonymous thing I have right now, and for now I just want to keep it that way. But once again, thank you so much.
Oh weird, do you have a job right now?
Yeah, early 20s. And I don’t want sex, affection is ok but really I guess I want purpose in this planet. It’s funny you mention sex, I hook up with tinder girls every now and then (I am blessed to have good enough looks to sometimes get with girls who have no clue who I am, but don’t be mistaken, they leave once they see my baggage, not their fault I’d do the same in their shoes) and I pretend that we love eachother just for that night (of course I don’t tell them that) but yeah, I guess I do it to fill the void in my head where affection should be.
Currently I’m on academic probation in my university because I tried to kill myself a couple months ago (fuck my school btw this is just adding more stress to my life) but I’m hopefully heading back this fall.
I mean yeah, but I can’t afford a therapist anymore, and I’m so blessed to have people here that are willing to listen to me. I’m kinda tearing up reading all of these replies right now, thank you all so much
I can talk if you want bro,where can i contact you?
Shit user, sounds like you just need an outlet at this point. You say it ain't about the girl, but purpose in life. Well then talk about shit that interests u dog. We got time
Myinstagram is
I_am_completely_alone
feel free to dm me there. Thanks for taking time to talk to this sad user, I really appreciate it.
Well, when I can actually do things, I love helping people. I’m a humanitarian, and before everything went to shit I travelled a lot to gain a better understanding about myself and the world around me. I just want people to have the opportunities I wasted. Sometimes I wish I was born in some rural village in Rwanda, and I could trade places with some of the kids I met there. They all seemed so happy, so full of life. I’m sure that I could learn a lot from them if I went back. I also like to make some music when I can, it’s a good way to get my feelings out.
OP here, gonna go to sleep for a bit. Feel free to talk about your own stuff as well while I’m asleep, I know I’m not the only one dealing with stuff like this. I’ll come back this morning.