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fuck my sides

Niggers tongue my anus

depression making everything so dull and boring, tried everything I can changing myself, changing my attitude, my lifestyle and social experiences, why is it still so bleak. im tired of this

12+hr shifts, 6 day weeks all summer at hotel, reception in morning, bartending in evening. Hotel only has ~25 rooms but it's a tourist trap so it's always heaving

Do this all summer every year just to afford 25% of my needs for the rest of the year (uni)

Want to get a career but i know I'm gonna get stuck here and there's nowhere elso to go

Ill take a gun shot to my head thank you

First of fuck you dumb cunt could have given me the cash and I’d get you a nice 16y/o to fuck dumb cunt kill yourselve

Feels Bar eh give me a bottle of Jägermeister and we can talk
Plus I’ll smoke pot while staying if you like it or not
For real though only problem I have is that 4 different girls want to show up at my place during the next few days .
My Gf , a fuckbuddy, an Ex GF and a girl that I used to fuck that I actually really like . I don’t know how to choose so I’ll fuck em all
On another note I’m human trash and mildly proud because it just works

Tipping is not manditory

No.

Well a drink always takes care of that

Join the army

Tell me whats wrong user
No smoking pot in here this is a classy joint. Go outside. I have gigganigga on staff tonight on security detail, dont make a big deal out of this

Gf's parents planned a huge vaca. I was invited. But then I was layed off. Unemployed for 2.5 months. dead ass broke. Literly starving, lost about 25-30 pounds. I'm still underweight. Gf threatened to kick me out. I finally get a job, and they won't let me go on the trip. She's pissed and say's I should just go on the trip. I say fuck no, the last time I literly starved while you tried to "motivate me". They went on the trip. I spent that week and a half alone, depressed as all hell. She said she'd send nudes to cheer me up. She'd dress up for me. She dressed up, no pics though. only found out on her insta. She finally came back today. She knows how depressed I am, and comes back cold as fuck. we talked about spending tonight together for days now. But she goes out with her mom to diner. says it'll take an hour. 3 hours latter. sitting alone, depressed, in debt, fucked myself out of an amazing trip, girlfriend said it was for the best. I just hate myself right now

Im sure she'll come around, call her and talk on the phone at the very least of you dont see her.

Can I try this donair plate

She doesn't pick up. tried after 2 hours. She said it was going to be a quick dinner

I'm worried the world is more honked than I can ever imagine.
youtube.com/watch?v=WgheGP_RZGQ
youtube.com/watch?v=eFTLKWw542g
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youtube.com/watch?v=-yjZohb9xeM

Shot of wild turkey please.

My brother died on Monday and I dont know what the fuck to do. It's like im stuck in a nightmare and all I want is to wake up. Im worried about my mom bros. What the fuck even is life?

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I feel like I'm missing out on life but I'm always so sad that social interaction becomes impossible. People pick up on that and avoid me because I'm basically a black hole but what can I do about it? It's not my fault. So I'm lonely af and all I would want is feeling connected to people but it almost seems like it's impossible for me to achieve that in this state. Such a vicious circle

here you go user

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extra large order of chebureks, please

I hate myself and I believe I deserve to die

I also see a fat indigo pill cummin my way

I wouldnt fret. Dont ring her off the hook. Call her tomorrow if you dont hear from her

How did he die? If you feel like sharing. I'm really sorry grief is one hell of a beast

oh, shit didnt read menu

This ones on me. Sorry to hear that user

I only did once. We live together

here's your meoney

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You should try smoking marijuana. Are you sad because you are lonely and people avoid you because you are sad? That is a vicious circle.

Tell us more user

My gf broke up with me right before New Years, we've maintained a friendship but I want it all back. I've been working on myself ever since to the point where I've started my own side business and have a car loan. It doesn't help that she's doing an intense internship this summer. I miss her so much.

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Oh that changes a bit. Then you will talk to her when she gets home its all good man

I’m not gonna go full Nic Nog Nigga on this Niggas ass but I do not care and you won’t make me stop nor am I getting thrown out I’m a VIP and Co Owner speak to Tommy about it .

Maybe its time to move on. Is there any chance or is it gonna be friends from here on out?

I'm laying down trying to find memes and I'm sleeping alone again. I miss my ex everyday I spend without her I hate myself more for cheating. It was a one night thing and I couldn't keep lying to her I thought it would help me hate myself less but I hate myself more I ain't look myself in the mirror in weeks other than when I'm shaving. Every night day drive movie etc without her feels so empty I can't sleep most of the time because I get dreams of her. Sometimes I kinda wake up crying missing her. We text and talk and catch up every now and then she said she loved me today and I want her to know how much I love her. Fuck it's so cold and lonely and dark without her. At this point I don't wanna talk to anyone irl unless it's something to make me laugh or some kind of wisdom. Gimmie a guinness

Heroin overdose. Another victim of the opioid crisis

We both agreed no marijuana inside the building after the last raid we had in here.
The police said everyone in here had outstanding warrants to the point he thought i was harbouring fugitives

Y’all are dumb as shit dumb your cunt fucking idiot are you retarded she doesn’t care for you anymore turn your back on her .And to the other guy trying to cheer this fuck up you are a fucking virgin so just please shut the fuck up this is not how the world works nor woman .
But hey fuck you probably will bitch out instead of finding something better

She knows how depressed I am. I had mentioned how down I was a few days back, even mentioning contemplating suicide. We've talked for days about spending tonight together once she got back. I cleaned everything, setup some candles, flowers, and she just bails for a "quick dinner" when she knows how much this meant to me

I was a heavy smoker once, it does not do much for me anymore. I just feel dazed and physically weak. Yeah you got that right... I shouldn't complain people have it do much worse but loneliness really makes you egotistical

Reality check: they all do
also, what does it matter - if you get what you want who cares if she has a boyfriend
also, stop being a bitch

I take 2 beer for a start.

I got a wonderful gf that I will marry, a very good friend that I see almost everyday for a chat or sometime we play a board game.

My GF always want sex with me, she tell me every about how intelligent I am and handsome.

Im a good catholic, I go to the church 2-4 by week with my gf and it feel good. I talk with her 2-3 hours a day. We don't want kids. You have no idea how it is to fuck your best friend when ever you want.

But I am alcoolic. No one mind because I drink quietly in my computer room. OH god I did bad stuff while drunk, lost friends, loves and so much. I learned from the past so know I watch movies, play a game or youtube while I drink. No more bullshits.

I know why I drink, I got a real PTSD, not from a war. I have been starved, tortured, raped, forced to drink a lot at age of 5 until 14. He was a cop. While he raped me I got out of my body or thinking how I will kill him. I did a very complexe plan, planned for years.

One day I did it. I tortured him and killed him. I didn't miss him, all these years dreaming of doing it. I was pretty sure that cops will ask me at least questions or suspect me, so I was ready and accepting my dead by suicide. Years have passed, nothing happened. Only my girlfriend know. She think other cops knew he was a pedo and was probably raping other kids.

Still, every time I see a police car I get a burst of stress, anxity. If a cop talk to me I automaticly check if I got my knife in my pocket. It is because of what he did to me ? Or because I fear life in prison ? I don't know.

I take pills, that help a lot but it make me sleep a lot. So it's work and suffer or sleep in your golden cage. I did psychotherapy for years but at the end it give me more suffering that everything else. Of course I can't tell my secret.

Does it free me to kill that pedo and corrupt cop ? No, it just took me to another prison. I didn't ask God to forgive me yet because I still don't regret it yet.

I'm sure your time is more valuable than my life

Döner that’s how it’s spelt

You punk fucker i run a business. I dont make money off of telling people theyre worthless and their wife doesnt want them.

Move on. Get a new girlfriend. She may come crawling back.

Also, stop acting like a winy bitch and man up.

Actually here its donair. Its exclusive to the maritimes. Nova scotia especially. Its different evertwhere else

absolute faggotry

I lost my brother almost two years ago, stay strong user.

Tommy and I have a deal with the Police Department and we have everything under Control again plus fugitives are our only customers . So fuck off ! Your my employee this is my bar as well !!!!
"Starts smoking a joint " oh and If fucked your wife .

Maybe its time to get help. Women dont want men who wont help themselves.
Try getting a hobby to take up your time. Maybe a hobby you could eventually use to meet other people. Then you atleast have something in common/ice breaker.

Sure buddy . And I have a 10 inch dick
That’s real life .

Dump the cunt, you can clearly do better

Bit of a fucking blog post, but whatever, none of you fucks care and shouldn't anyhow. I've been seriously contemplating suicide for the first time in like half a year. Despite having my friends, a good job, and a place to live, I can't help but feel like a piece of shit who won't ever be satisfied with himself or life in general. I haven't fallen in love with another human being in over 5 years now, and everyday I only get more open about my distaste for women and people.
>"A-user, just go out and talk to a girl Eggs-Dee"
Women my age and obviously those younger are self serving, self interested whores. I don't bother and don't care to. I want to find something that makes me happy. But nothing does, and slowly, all the little connections I have are things I want to just pull away from. To just die and get it over with.

Tl;dr I dislike womenfolk and normies, I see no purpose in life and I want to die. I've set the date for October 23rd, cuz who the fuck dies on the 23rd of anything, eh?

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Tough to hear that. Opioids are the fucking worst, they catch you when you're at your worst and never let go. I feel for you and your family, watch out for your mother she needs it even if I know its easier said than done when you're suffering

Can we just call it Kebab ?

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You're cut off

I dont have a wife

I have so many messages from people I know on my phone but I dont have the heart to open them yet. Ive only texted my best friend and spent time with family. How did you get through it dude?

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Well would you look at that.

Kebab yes but its the sauce thats on it too. Donair sauce is exclusive to here

I'll take a bottle of Tito's and a ten strip and my feels is that I've never felt like I've lived in any home I've ever lived at just feeling like a visitor or like I'm haunting it

Separated with my long term GF. It was due to mutual differences; she wants kids and to move back to her home town to raise them, I do not want either of those things. Motherfuckin shit hurts, but, I know it's for the best. Give me a shot OP; I wanna drink the feels!

.
Its your depression speaking, let me tell you that depression is a hate demon it blackens everything you feel people and women too have something to give you and some would really like to help you but demons make it impossible to see through that. I know I felt that too. Please don't kill yourself, please get help and meds and try one last time, if you'll be able too see through... death is not a solution it feels like one but it is really not

>You're cut off
What do you mean ? English is not my first language sorry.

Im not serving you alcohol

Lemme get a shot and a beer.

I'm having a rough night to say the least. My best friend of 10 years killed himself last year after talking to me through text. I have nightmares a lot over it. What if I had told him something different, what if I called the cops, what if I tried to get to his house and stop him. I did nothing and I will forever regret it. He talked about killing himself a lot and especially when he was fucked up (he was on that night). He told me he had plans and seemed serious this time though. i dunno. shits fucked up.

You are a good person. Don't worry I got what I need at home. I will still give you a good tip.

It's not much but this annonymous board + a VPN (and it's not easy to find one not blocked on Yea Forums) it's my only "secure" way to tell my story, it heal me a little. Have a good night.

Are you me? lmfao. the loneliness is what really gets me though, not the distaste for people.

Some nice 18y/o tits
What’s the sauce ?

Everyone makes mistakes. He deserved it though. Dont beat yourself up. Live life

Can I get a shit of hob knob Creek with a purple ass in my face thanks

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we all probably INFPs

Sweetened condensed milk, vinegar, garlic powder essentially

My wife left me after nine years together and one year of marriage for my groomsmen who I've known since high school.

Now I have to work on a project at work with his father as my primary stakeholder.

Your reaction was understandable considering the situation. You dont have to be to tough on yourself trauma makes you do those things its not your fault

I’ve been mildly sleep deprived since June and I’m coming to realize that I probably fried my brain a bit with drugs around New Years - May so that’s great

3 shots for me, might actually put me out tonight

We've all been there user

I've done my best to work on my depression. I've quit drugs other than cigarettes but no matter what I just feel hollow and disappointed with myself. I never tried antidepressants, but im no fan of taking something that might or might not work, it's why I stopped smoking weed. I've kept telling myself "oh, maybe someone will see something I dont and show me the brighter side of things" but that person didn't show up. Im almost 30, and everyday for the past 6 years have felt like lifetimes. I just cant keep psyching myself into thinking about a better tomorrow anymore. Only other reason I'm offing myself in October is to get some final affairs in order, is all.

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If you're like me you probably dont want to try meds because you feel like that kind of external help is a way of "cheating", well its true but sometimes meds are not a solution but a tool, existential depression is somewhat strange sometimes all you need is an epiphany and meds might give you enough clear headed time to get to a conclusion, thats why I believe you should try. I battle this myself I know what its like I am naturally optimistic even in pain so I guess I am lucky to be born like that bit at the same time I know that darkness and the struggle is real. You can probably miss it I know I used to but sometimes there are sparkles of life, very few and far in between but if you think hard enough I think you can pinpoint moments where you felt something positive amidst the darkness well that is not helpful but it means you re not dead inside there still something worth. I m ramblin i kno soery but english is not my first language and im writing on clover with the phone

what is a INFP?

been rather lonely for the past 10 years. usually i don't mind apart from some periods but i'm starting to feel it more frequently now. people and coworkers tend to make fun of me for my weirdness, i try but can't really help it sometimes. schizophrenia. i'm on my 7th job, the last 6 i quit during breakdowns if i can call it that, just a matter of time before the current one can suck it and the rest of the world with it. it has already been close a couple of times but i managed to control myself somewhat. not sure if i can keep that up

i'm still confused over a woman i met 2 years ago. crazy one. if there was one person i'd see myself with it would be her. she had every quality i desire in a woman but also every single one i despise. like life and bad influences destroyed her long before we met. if what i felt there was real that is because it was during a rather bad time when i was all worked up. doesn't matter really because many spaghetti was spilled and she doesn't want anything to do with me anymore. still makes me really sad just thinking about her which happens more than it should after 2 fucking years

i'll have a beer please

I know people that got through it thanks to meds and able to stop using them without relapsing, the possibility is there. Its worth more than nothingness at least remember that suicide is always an option that you can postpone it but not undo it, every option is still there please think of suicide as the hardest and lastest possibility of them all. remember that there are people like you that know how it feels, the world is a cold place but i support you and im sure lots would understand
just stupid personality typing thing, Infps are naturally introverted and emotional and struggle a lot with mental health and socializing because theyre naturally withdrawn and kind of autistic

>only one check of those digits
checked

It's up in the air really. We're each really close to our families, hell I'm going to a coin show with her Father and Uncle. I'm just hoping that it's time that she needs at this point. And I have been on "the prowl" per se, so I'm not letting it completely ruin me.

I'm trying, once I tackle my own shit it will be easier. And thanks, haven't had a good slap in the face for a while. Best to you man.

My cousin passed last spring. He lived with us for almost 2 years, smiked my first joint with him and had my first Red Bull with him. I lost him twice, once to a DUI where he spend a year in jail, and the last time to an overdose. I'm sure him and I weren't s close to you and your brother, but we're all here for you bud. Right now the best thing to do is be with your family, or the closest thing you have to family.
And life, well life just happens. There's no explanation to it, it just happens. Sure it's slightly influenced by our individual decisions, but you have to play the hand you're dealt. Sometimes you bust, sometimes more than others, but you gotta keep on and carry on.
My condolences to you and your family.

fuck. dated her four years. never asked her to marry. 2nd year in playing games living together laughing and everyday she told she loved me and she would be there for me even if i went fucking blind bros. completely ghosts me 2 nights. this is the 2nd night and she told she loved me this morning. please never get too comfortable and think you will be with that person forever

Im 26. been in the army since 17. bout to get kicked out due to my drinking problem. am drunk now. my life is spiraling out of control. idk what to do.

dude she wants to break up with you but is just too 'nice' to do it.

just break up with her and sort your own shit out. you don't need anyone..

"have a car loan"

what the fuck does that mean? lol. you sound like a fucking shit for brains imbecile.

having debt isn't a good thing.

hey, you're not alone, i know everything is fucked up so far but i'm confident it will get better, man, i really do.

my parents are killing the dream i once had, crushing my hopes and all, but i guess i can't give up

also 1 well shot please

stream it?

it just feels like nothing is going right, and i have no desire to fix anything

6 shots in
AMA

I recently removed someone from discord I was attempting to help better herself when I realized all she wanted from me was my attention. It's painful to meet someone cut from the same cloth who falls into pure hedonism.

I worked out in the middle of nowhere for years growing marijuana on farms.

I write poems.

I'm going to school to learn engineering.

Pick your hook, I would read all the other posts but tbh I'm a lightweight. I'm going to try to clean my room while I check this from time to time.

im a social retard

I think he mean't the place he's working on, like renting out cars

You did the right thing not going. Fuck that bitch.

My brother also died of an overdose last July. Family took some time to recover but we eventually did....for the most part

Hi there, I'd take a beer and a steak, medium please.
I've been reading most of the comments, and I know I might not be the most relatable since I think I have a "stable" life I guess
The thing is my GF she's so good and nice and tender and, I'm just so cold, like not intentionally it's something I got growing up having distant parents, both literally and sentimentally.
The thing is that, we've been dating for almost a year now and, she knows that I'm cold and distant and tries to not "annoy" me with that but, I really want to change, to both make her feel better and I guess myself

You made the right choice man, sort your shit out first handle your own things and let her handle her own things, if she wants to break up so be it, reestructure your life and you'll be whole again

In my mid 20's. I have one true friend. She's far away. Having a hard time making real connections with people in my small town after graduating collage a year ago.

Started dating this girl about a month ago. We have no chem. Haven't touched once. Really driving home the lack of connection I have with people. I'm happy being single, but I just want friends I can connect with.
Wondering if I'll be this way forever.

I'll take a glass of jägermeister.

>restructure your life and you'll be whole again
Gospel right here. Speaking from experience.

I'm seriously considering the fact that something is wrong with me, I feel like I'm possessed to say shitty things about myself and talk about killing myself and to hurt myself. It happens every time I think about the bad things that have happened before. I just kept telling my boyfriend over text that I wanted to kill myself, or hurt myself, and I react to certain things with meltdowns like I'm on a hair trigger. I feel like I've become disabled, these emotions weren't as hard to control before. I'm just one big negative nancy and nothing makes me happy anymore. I told my now ex to separate from me because him and I weren't talking anymore and there was something wrong with me because even when things aren't bad, I just feel like I need to kill or hurt myself. Shortly after I turned 18 a few months ago I had to move back in with my mother and that part of my family, and during one of the discussions we've had about my childhood and other things she told me she very seriously believes that I am a high functioning autist. What do you even do if you're autistic? I feel like I really should just give in and let me kill myself at this point, because I don't want to live knowing I could be an autist. I don't even have anything against autistic people, it just scares me to think that I may be. And my ex told me there are so many friends I have that I've just blown off after talking to a lot, and I don't know why. I just get close to people, and then I get sick of it, and feel like there's nothing left to talk about. I'm so anxious and retarded I couldn't even change in my coins for bills at the grocery store because I was scared I'd do it wrong with so many people there. No matter what I do, I'll never really be the person my family always describes me as. I just want to let myself cut myself again but I know I can't, I just feel like I'm going to hurt myself no matter what I do, my one friend told me I should look into voluntary commitment, what's wrong w/ me

you don't write like an autistic person, it's hiiighly unlikely if it makes you feel better... don't know much about how to overcome this, dealing with similar issues, I think some of it boils down to your personality type, I think you might a strong feeling introvert that struggles with a extrovert-centered society with developed social anxiety. I know what it feels like, people try psychoanalysis and behaviouraasl theraphy it has helped me a lot. You seem like a really sweet person under all that pain, pls do not do anything drastic you do not deserve to have your life cut short no matter how worthless you believe you are

Also remember that your own perception of yourself is extremely different and more negative than people perceivwe you irl

The more i read this the more i think your mothers autistic claim makes no sense tbh

Thank you, it does kind of make me feel better to hear someone else doesn't think such is likely. It does slund like it fits, for personality. I want to talk and interact with people though, but it just so quickly gets to the point of not knowing how to speak to others or do certain things. I was considering behavioral therapy at one point and just undergoing normal therapy in the past, but moving a lot messed that up. I appreciate your kind words overall, it is a tremendous help to me to hear such. I think I will be looking into serious mental help for the urges I get to do drastic things to myself. I don't have a reason in my life to truly do that anymore, but everytime I think about the future I realise how much I left unplanned or excluded from thought, just because I thought it would always end up being that I would be dead someday soon, before I could be a real adult. It's hard coping with that. I know my perspective of me differs from others, but it's hard to shake it.
What makes you think the claim makes no sense, in particular? I did not mention, but she brought up that I had a lot of symptoms as a child, where I would have these meltdowns that made me hurt myself by tearing my hair out and banging my head into walls and etc. She also mentioned that a lot of things go straight over my head, and I could be very repetitive in behaviours. She believed these all to be signs of high functioning autism. Not the first person to say it either, but the first person who told me they thought I was autistic tried to make me go on disability at 16 lol

I really feel this post. I've been there. So fucking been there. 18-23yo ish are the hardest years, because how you socialize and connect with people changes a fuck tone in that short amount of time, trust me.

It seems like you've really gotten inside your own head, I used to do that allot and it fucked me up for a while.
It would fuck anyone up if they got inside their own heads. Consciousness is weird man, everyone is crazy if you look close enough.

I'm not really sure what to say to help you, because when I was in your position, nothing people said really helped, and it came down to me just sitting and thinking about myself in a logical way.

What I did was approach myself like a level headed counselor would any other patient. I examined my feelings, and thoughts I had, and why I felt them.

What helped me a fuck tone was just figuring out why I felt a certain way, even just simple things, like why I felt jealous or angry when A person did X with B person. or why I feel defensive about one aspect of myself, or why I feel self conscious about some part of me.

When you are able to find the rhyme and reason for your own thoughts you build an emotional foundation for yourself to stand on. You don't have to change how you feel, but now you can be confident in why you feel that way, and you can understand why, and you're not crazy. And in understanding you also have a way to change how you feel.

Just talk to yourself. Like, literally ask yourself questions, and answer them as truthfully as you can, dig deep into your gut feelings, and answer those questions.

I'll be on here a while, I'm here to talk.

I'll have a cheeseburger, no onions or ketchup, thanks.
My best friend broke up with his gf five months ago and she started talking with me to cope, I guess. I ended up with feelings for her, and about three months after we started talking she told me that we can't talk any more. She's been all I can think about for the last couple of months, and I don't know what to do about it.

Fucking quint's, and not enough checks.

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Thank you for your kind advice and input on my post, it means an awful lot to me. I guess I kind of have gotten all wrapped up in my head, over time. Was all I had for a few years though, me myself and I. You are kind of right on that. If I was swapped with someone else and was trying to help someone like me, wouldn't quite know what to say either. That sounds like a fairly good way to help myself take a look at what I really feel, and just sort things out. Come out a little bit from my head. There are so many little things that just bother me severely about me or things happening or things that I've hid and never thought about towards other people in my life. I've just lived a lot of time very muted and going with the flow of whatever it is, and just believing the words I was told about who I am. There's a lot of split feelings on things that have happened to me and what my family has done to me and put me through that I've never known how to feel about, and when I think on it I think it reflects deeply on a lot of my behaviours and why I push people away as I do, a lot. I'll take your advice and ask myself a lot of things, and see how I really do feel. I'm very grateful for your words. Thank you so much.

Lady troubles.
Give me a stiff one, barkeep.