Wizard here. What does it feel like to have sex?

I started this meme, then a guy said it on a YouTube video. Should've screencap'd... How to prove now? My life is a mess... proud of a meme... fml

bags of salty coins

You're a fucking virgin who is asking what sex with a woman feels like, so that implies a certain level of IMAGINATION.

Or were you expecting some femanon to see your faggot ass post and pity fuck you?

OP is a faggot.

I feel like this is the big thing I'm missing with suggestions like sticking my finger in my cheek. None of that can simulate actually being with another person.

Bullshit. 40 year old virgin started that meme.

Hey, no need to be mean. I'm just trying to understand sex as best I can with the options at my disposal.

Savage.

sex is okay, but its pretty shit unless its with someone you care about, otherwise you can do a better job yourself

If you're doing it with the intent to impregnate you feel like a god at climax.

There is a need to be mean, because obviously you are incapable of grasping the fact that without actually having sex you will never know what it feels like, no matter how much another person describes it, and nitpicking every fucking answer that someone gives you is a bitch move because they are taking time out of their lives to try and help you, but instead of saying thank you you respond with a bunch of bullshit.

That's probably half of your problem, you are apparently incapable of engaging in social interactions without coming off like a little self-centered bitch who has no gratitude.

Now, put your finger in your mouth and feel your cheek and imagine what that would feel like on your dick OR fuck off.

>especially if its with someone you care about

I can't put enough emphasis on this. I've fucked plenty of girlfriends. I've gotten blown by chicks and dudes from craigslist and shit. And I've even paid for sex twice. And while I got to nut and may have even enjoyed the orgasm, it's not the same. It's shit compared to actually having sex with a girlfriend who wants to be with you and loves you.

Even the random blowjobs from whores and faggots online meant more because they genuinely wanted to suck me off and got off on the fact that they were getting me off. Do not fall for the escort/hooker meme. It's certainly not worth it. Unless you're fucking disabled or disfigured.

It's actually hella depressing because you build it up as this thing that's going to be amazing, then it's like... thats not what I thought it was.

Yet it's also the most enjoyable thing on earth.

So what the fuck do you do when the greatest pleasure on earth turns out to be mediocre at best? Idk

>You're inside of another person and they've got themselves wrapped around you. You feel their breath on your neck, their hands sliding over your body, etc.

>In general its pretty good especially if its with someone you care about
Honestly? I think the first paragraph is SO much more fun with randoms. I go to swinger clubs and live for anonymous and intense orgy/gangbang/1on1 sex with people of varying bodies who are wired differently from normies to fuck a certain way.

I'm a 23 year old virgin (apprentice). Should I keep going so that I get wizard powers?

Which kind of sex and which part of it are you asking for?
Top me, comfy humping + kissing&cuddling in a loving relationship feels best, makes most fun. Not only your body but also your soul needs to cum.

I'm and I also agree with this user as well . It's great but after you're in a relationship for so long the sex becomes meh. It's not that it's bad or that it sucks, it's just that you're dealing with so much other shit you realize that it's not that big of a deal. It's one of those "you only miss it until you have it" kinda deals. Where if it's on tap and available (while you have a gf) you don't really thirst for it, but the minute you break up your dick is rock hard 24/7 and you're looking for the anything that even resembles a hole to fuck.

Since you ask here, the correct answer is yes

Ok, fair enough. Sounds like I need to actually have sex in order to understand it. How do I go about doing that?
This is exactly what I'm looking for. I've had lots of people tell me to just get a hooker, but that really won't solve the problem

yeah im glad i was realistic with my expectations, if you wanna feel good just go do drugs, although not that theyll really help if youre feeling shit

So you're saying since I'm a Yea Forumstard (which I definitely am) I might aswell fully commit to being the typical loser stereotype? makes sense I guess. I really couldn't care less about having sex and at this stage it would seem a shame to do it and break my record so far. I think the wizard thing would suit my looks and personality, I'm basically the Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons lol

I wouldn't recommend it. Wizard powers are highly overrated. Hurry up and fuck someone while you're still young.
Ideally sex in the context of a relationship, where both parties care about each other. But ideally details about how it happens, and maybe things that a virgin wouldn't expect.
Does someone initiate verbally "hey let's have sex" or is that all just implied? What's the routine like? Do you shower before? After? How much foreplay and what kind?

Well if you don't actually want sex, keep doing what you're doing, but if you do want sex you'd better hurry before it's too late.

Talk to women. Be yourself. I know it sounds trite, but it's true. Women are not a bunch of whores, regardless of how many misogynistic dickbags say so.

Things which you think may be dorky, or weird, or shameful may actually be endearing to some women. You need to open up your own book and let them read it. Chances are that someone will like what they see.

And if you're talking about just getting laid, then maybe you should look into prostitution. Go to Nevada for a weekend and stay at a brothel. It's 100% legal. Explain your situation to the management and I'm sure they will treat you very, very well.

idk what else to tell you. I have had success with women and I have done nothing but be myself. I'm not some "chad" person either. I'm overweight, I am into very weird things, I don't really have many friends. I am proof that it doesn't matter if you don't fit the bullshit "ideal" stereotype of a man.

Take a chance, the worst thing that could happen is that you get rejected.. and then guess what? you take another chance. You only live once, so make sure you live to your fullest my friend.

See, I can be nice.

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Thanks, that's good info. What sort of things do you do to escalate a relationship from just friendly chitchat to something more? I've been trying hard to talk to more women, people at work, people on hiking trails, cashiers, anyone. For the most part, it's just a brief talk and then its over and I never see her again, but I've also been hanging out with a few women and getting to know them better. Still 100% platonic, but at least its something.

nice fake, impressive

Is it a fake? If so I agree it's impressive. I don't even know who she is. Just some picture I saved.

it's Rose, one of my favorite chicks
she had a youtube, trolled about being a tranny, is married now and I don't know what else

To have sex? Well, you can jerk off with both hands, squeezing your dick, and make sure you use some warm lube - and that's about it. Nothing great about it, really.

Then you have making love - with a person you adore, you would kill for, yu would die for, with which you connect at the deepest emotional level, a person you want to have babies with - but that is way different than just "having sex".

You're right, that does sound much better. Don't relationships these days essentially have to start with sex though? Like you can't get to that stage with someone, and then have sex for the first time. Unless you're super religious, in which case I don't think I'd be compatible.

More than what I have done. I'm too much of a coward to face rejection, which is why I'm still a lowly 38 year old social loser.

I've given up finding a girlfriend. I just hope AGI becomes a reality sooner rather than later, then I will at least have someone to talk to.

What is AGI?

Artificial General Intelligence.

Basically all the narrow intelligences working in unified tandem, to create an independent mind like no other.

Oh, gotcha. I don't know how that would help you though. Assuming AI progresses to the point where it can function on the same level as a human, you'd probably have the same problems talking with it as you would with a real human woman. Why do you think it would be any easier talking to a machine?

Probably because I think a machine intelligence would be something like in the movie "Her", and fix whatever is broken in me.

Did you ever have hope that you might find a gf one day? What changed? What can I do to avoid becoming you?

That's not gonna happen bud. Sex dolls will always be no more than fuck puppets. Self aware AI is a pipe dream.

>Did you ever have hope that you might find a gf one day?
Yes. I did attempt, if you can call it that, to talk with girls when I was younger, but I never really took the dive to ask them out honestly. It was always waiting on them making a move - or just some notion they were interested. IDK, maybe I don't see the signs, or I never was lucky. Hard to say, looking back.

>What changed?
Well, it's not like I'm an unique case. I'm obviously an introvert. I remember distinctly one girl I was infatuated with, but which was a bitch that merely used me financially without reciprocation, but I was too stubborn to realize this. In the end, when I got tired of this cocktease I started to hate her, and I think it made me distrust most people, not just her, and especially other women.

>What can I do to avoid becoming you?
Be brave, but make sure the girl is into you, I guess? I don't have any real good advice other than not fearing rejection like I do.

Trips of truth

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It's like fapping, but good. SO GOOD. When give her a good fuck and come inside you feel on top of the world. If you pound it good you and get athletic with it (grasping her really firmly, supporting your weight heavily with your upper body, the standing fuck, etc), it'll be a relief not just for your sexual needs but for burning muscles. It makes the sensation that much better. Every touch leading up to on the rest of your body is electric. You take a smug delight watching the pleasure in her face and listening to her moans to the various methods of stimulation you apply. With a new partner the cozy snuggles afterwards are coziest and best snuggles that exist, and you feel that much closer and bonded afterwards. If you're not emotional dead inside and have makeup sex you might experience the elusive happy male tears.

I've felt tits before at a strip club they don't feel like sand.

I wouldn't be so sure of that. Intelligent sex bots of sufficient quality would start an industry worth trillions of dollars. All the men that society deems unfuckable could just buy a sex bot instead of all the other things they currently do to try in vain to attract women. You can solve any problem if you throw enough money at it.

I've got the same problem. Don't know how to read signs and know when to ask someone out. The fear of rejection is a huge barrier to overcome, especially when it's someone you know through a larger group, so the rejection will forever linger on.
Damn, that sounds amazing. I sure hope I'll find a way to experience it one day.

virt-a-mate + htc vive pro
sorry, future is already here my dude

Completely unrealistic of what is actually happening. "Look mom by the year 2000 we will all have flying cars." Instead we have cell phones. That spy on us for our governments. Cool hypothesis son. Your vision of the future will not come to pass. It will be some abomination of what you wish to would have been.

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Overrated

From my perspective, water is a bit overrated, but that's only because I can get it whenever I want. If I didn't have access to water, it would be the most important thing in the world.

That's actually both spot-on accurate and really profound.

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Depends on how into the person you are and how tight or big ect.

The disappointing thing is that unless you do it from behind you don't get as good of a view as when you watch it. Often you just see their face ect.

What? From behind, you get ass and back.
From on top, you see face and tits. That seems like a pretty nice view to me.

it's pretty nice
you should try it sometime
just be yourself bro

You sound like you need a drink, or some pot. Calm down bro

Usually on you you end up down against them, especially if you last a long time. I can go about 30 min to an hr so after the 200th equivalent of a pushup I get pretty tired and it's face to face.

Do you just stick to the same position for 30-60 minutes? Seems like it would make sense to switch things up a bit, no? Especially if you're getting tired from pushups.

Its like the way you like Transformers, the animation series. Generally their angus clenches like megatron, but you can bumblebee when she nipaples.

>30-60 minutes
from what I hear, the sex takes around 3 hours.

honestly, it sounds like a waste of time. I've got better things to do like attending D&D meetups.

Hey, at least you're socializing. Are there any women at these D&D meetups?

Feels like oh so this is what life is suppose to be like.

So is life essentially meaningless without sex then?

Also you will come across some that will make you cum almost right away while with others you wont really feel anything
Gotta find the one you'll feel just the right amount of tightness

sex is nothing special. pretty overrated.

you'll be disappointed at first because of how shite you are at it, but you will get better with practise.

I prefer my hand

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It's great, especially if you have it with someone you care about. One of the best feelings in the world.

I'd love to have the opportunity to have that shitty first experience. How do you find someone willing to have bad sex with you?

Kill a woman...before her corpse gets cold...fuck it...then you will know what a pussy feels like...but just know your neckbeard ass will never get a woman that is breathing

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No thanks. If I ever got that desperate I'd just get a hooker.

It feels like you grew a 3rd arm and you're fist fucking her with an arm growing out of your waist

Hookers will run screaming rape if you ask them for their services...fuckin neckbeard

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What specifically makes it feel like an arm? Seems more likely that you're just dick fucking her with a dick growing out of your crotch.

Incels are stupid. Stop putting pussy on a pedestal and go to the massage parlor. $200 bucks and you wont be a virgin anymore.

I'm looking for more than just a happy ending though. An awkward handjob in a seedy massage parlor doesn't really sound like that much fun. I just want to find a woman who wants to have sex with me on her own accord.

If you are still a virgin at 30 then you are either extremely ugly, fat, or just retarded. You sound like a fat chick expecting a guy who makes six figures, is 6 foot tall, and has a six pack to want her no matter how fat she is.

Start lifting weights, lose weight, and get a real job because women don't give a shit about how nice of a guy you are deep down. That or go pay for it. Either way stop bitching about being a kiss-less looser because you did it to yourself.

I'm about average in the looks department, and I have a real job. I make good money and own my own house. I could stand to lose a few pounds, but that's far from the problem. I just don't have any clue how to flirt, date, or any similar activities.

It feels awkward at first especially if your partner doesnt use lube. But after it's in your ass and he is tearing it up it feels amazing. Just imagine fingering your asshole but with a horny guy that want to destroy your ass. The next day cum in your ass can be kind of sticky true.

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So much win in this thread.

Op, wizard powers are over-rated, go find a hoe to put your weiner in.

gay ass nigga kill yourself retard sinner go2hell

in my experience blowjobs are a lot better.

hah dont need anyone for that