Hey Yea Forums I've got myself into some real deep shit this time. I've been coming to Yea Forums to check out the loli threads, So much so that I told my friend Austan about it and he told me that jerking it to cartoons is what newfags do. So he lent me his hard drive, filled with a shitload of KP that he's been collecting over the years. He said he even had autopsy photos from the JonBenet Ramsey crime scene with naked body and all. So I'm excited, I plugged the hard drive up to my laptop and after jerking it, I realized that my laptop wasn't going to have enough memory to save all the HD videos. So I made a best buy run to pick up a hard drive. I get home and see that my wife is home early from work. As soon as I can get my keys to open the door, I can hear the KP playing from the surround sound system were I had it hooked up prior to leaving. I can feel my heart racing as im struggling to get the door open. So I'm standing in the doorway with my best buy bag and the look on my wife's face stops my heart. All i can remember is her screaming at the top of her lungs telling me to get out and she didn't want me around our kids. I tried to explain to her that it was Austan KP but she was all like, why would you have it in the first place. So she kicked me out and she said that she might give my laptop to the police. What should I do.
Hey Yea Forums I've got myself into some real deep shit this time...
Other urls found in this thread:
bullcitypsychotherapy.com
twitter.com
An hero
KP? I need some info on what that means.
Reported faggot hope you and you buddy get ass raped in jail
Lmao faggot
you're so fucked you don't even know
Just call it CP faggot
>he told me that jerking it to cartoons is what newfags do
newfags like the people that posted here in '03?
Get a butt plug. You’re gonna need it
Don't be a newfag, I need some good Advice on getting that laptop back because Austin is going to be pissed if he doesn't get his HD back
Your both going to prison
I'd say no offense but I mean this fuck your friend user. You're probably gonna get banned irl
she's going to give you a chance, you'll have to choose between KP or your wife and kids, and you take option 1 of course.
You're either a sick fuck who got what was coming, or you're just trolling.
Kitchen Patrol. Also, Austan is a faggot.
holy fuck dude. you're actually so fucked. get your wallet, book the first flight out of the country you can. change your legal name. change your identity. get at least a 1000 miles away from anybody you know, and start over from fresh
Cool story bro. Now KYS
What ever kid I'm so scared Not going to kill myself thanks but no thanks I'm not my wife just needed some space, I can still get my laptop back before she does something stupid with it.
Gross I'm not going to need one because I don't plan on going to jail
it's called KP don't be a newfag
Dude it's a fucking library
What's this all about?
Burn this fucking HD and tell him what happend.
You're going into some trouble because you deserve it, but still, telling him the truth is the best option for you both. Then there will be two degenerate brains to think about what to do next. I would say good luck and fuck at the same time, but still, don't ruin your life.
Austan probably told your wife
Thanks I already told Austin about my wife acting like a complete bitch. I'm at his house now because I'm trying to figure out our next move. If she doesn't answer my calls we are going to go over there.
kys LARPing faggot
Obviously you’re pretty scared if you’re coming here basically begging random cunts for advice. Once again, I hope you get ass raped in jail faggot.
What's a kitchen patrol?
of course you have to go there and get the laptop.
then destroy the evidence
Kitchen Patrol? Is it some kind of porn?
Ohhhh, Kitchen patrol = CP
OP, I won't lie. It's game over
OP, the only option I see is that you tell the true story to your wife
If your wife really loved you then she would give you another chance if you told her the truth
KP or gtfo
This guy is 100% trolling, being so hellbent on calling it KP and not CP probably means that KP stands for something else and that's gonna be the punchline, haha so original you fucking faggot
Hang yourself, it’s what you deserve.
Post your wife’s tits
Honestly OP, tell the true story
Korean-Pop
His wife is disgusted because he likes it
No, OP won't
Reported
Exactly, that's what I was thinking
True story is I love KP doesn't everyone else
Let's be honest!!
You think if I go and be perfectly honest with my wife that she'll listen to me and Do you think she'll give me my laptop back too.
I feel like your the same guy that made that stupid “my dad doesn’t like my transgender gf” thread that everyone has been spamming this week.
I also feel like you are responsible for number of other silly topic threads here.
If so 5/10 for the effort, but /b isn’t the testing ground for your creative writing class homework.
HOLD UP
I'm trying to have a real conversation here but others acting like OP fucking me off
Oh yes, definetly
this is pasta
Example?
It's a slang term for special k drug mixed with pcp. So his wife found out that he is using hard drugs
Sure, her motherinstinct might kick in and ignore everything you say but if you're lucky then you could talk some sense to her
Well I'm OP but others have fun led up the convo acting as if they started it
>5180▶
Why the fuck would OP jack off to drugs?
You're fucked and you deserve it
Kill points. OP is le ebigg gammmmer
Dude, time to watch some sissy hypno and become a sissy and enjoy some big juicy cocks in prison.
OP, wtf do you mean with KP? Is it CP with another term or are you just fucking around?
Because they make you do that
I am so fucking tired of captcha because I don't allow Google to track me
You're worried about your friend getting his HD back??
Oh my sides.
What is KP??
this attempt to larp and troll is poor, and with all the things these anons are irritated with, im honestly just bothered by how forced, repetitive and cringy this guys use of "newfag" is
Nah, KP = CP with other words
What's CP? I mean KP I think it's obvious what I meant!
>368▶
See
CP = CHILD PORN (which is highly illegal and I advice to seek for help if you are interested in it)
so fucking explain it, jesus nobody takes this seriously because nobody understands wtf kp is supposed to mean
You fuck tard you think that's going to scare me I'm not scared of going to jailYou don't scare me kid you don't even know who I am
Me and Austin are on our way to the house nowSee that's why I keep telling Austin if we go over there and we just tell her the whole story from start to finish I'm pretty sure she'll give me the laptop and give Austin his hard drive backNo kid k p stands for Kitty porn stop being such a fuking newfag
He meant cartoon child pornography or what lol
OP how did you evade your global ban?
OP just fucking give us the punchline and stop wasting everyone's time ffs
This is B. People jerk off to everything here....
The better question is
Why wouldnt you believe he jerks off to drugs?
KP?!
Kitty Porn?
Korean Porn?
>No kid k p stands for Kitty porn
I think you mean kiddy porn retard
OP here.. KP stood for kool aid man henri porn... wtf are you all on about.???
Kike porn for sure
Good point, but jerking off to drugs sounds boring as hell
You're gonna be scared when those big buck mother fucker find out what you did.....R.I.P. anus.
Everyone
KP = CP = Child porn
Bruh fuck Austin, your relation is about to end with your wife and kids nib
OP, Who's more important? Your wife and kids or Austin and his CP?
Honestly, you should blame Austin for causing you this trouble
Listen guys.. I meant kiol aid porn!! Anyone not understand
Unrape!?
Walter Clements
Reported. Obvious child pornographer.
Why else would he know the slag?
Walter
I hope you have no plans today, youre going to have to keep the thread alive for HOURS for you shenanigans to go anywhere.
KP sounds so jewish
it's CP faggot
because on here people just know this shit?
Why would you even know that? How many lives have you ruined?
You a fucking retard, OP explained it himself, I am just explaining the definitions here
See OPs post you idiot
Kim Possible=KP
Austin caused you all this trouble OP and you are just worried about his HDD? Not even about the relations your about to end?
>oh he has 3 brain cells and knew that CP meant child porn from the contextual clues of the situations it's been used in! He must be a pedo!
People worried about his wife and kids, op worried about Austin.
Ain't nobody worried about the inky thing that should matter. 40 years in a federal max prison.
Dude, fuck Austin, fuck your wife, and fuck your kids.
You be a man and give your wife a couple black eyes maybe a broken arm. Take that drive I destroy it along with every electronic device its touched. AND you hide and deny it
Sure you might get anger management classes, possible PFA, and aggervated assualt(prob pleaded to simple)
But even with all that, its minimal life alteration compared to the alternative.
Take that wife assualt conviction with pride.
bruh, visit the house, take back your hdd and give it to Austin. Also report Austin for his sick behaviour
no its kike porn
>the stories and information posted here...
Thank you, finally someone with brain cells
How does one seek help for that? Asking for a friend
This
OP here I like to suck on big giant peckers
Do we really want OP around his kids?
Bruh I gotchu bullcitypsychotherapy.com
A therapist you fucking retard.
It's people like you who ruin this board
How to unrape sister. Top kek.
Break in, steal the laptop.
>my word against yours
so...your wife is going to be single...got any pics of her?
What a cute hamster
>highly illegal
As opposed to just illegal... fucking kek'd. KYS.
I ain't clicking that shit
OP, tell the truth to your wife.
Are you stupid or some shit? She is worried about her kids because you watch CP. I would too! Stay away from your kids. Take that HDD and give it to Austin and let us report that nigga to the FBi
Just sneak in the house, she wouldn't have changed the locks that fast, get that laptop and hard drive, give the hard drive back, burn your laptop, deal with your upcoming divorce, start anew.
You don't have to, it's to your friend
This is faker than the “girls” you fags talk to on here
A dose of lead to the skull. If you're not capable of enough rational thought to inflect a little and say, "wow, being attracted to kids is disgusting and I acknowledge that to my bones", then there is no helping you. Therapy and talking it out will only prolong the inevitable and one day your degenerated mind is going to slip and you'll either end up like someone in the OP story, or actually molesting children. The dude in OP, for example, is masturbating to children while he RAISES children. There is no fucking reason he should be left alive. All pedophiles and their faggot enablers and apologists need to be culled for the betterment of the species.
Yeet your kids to the kindergarden and jack off to your wife
The guy who posted this here I like to suck big giant peckers
are this so called KP legal?
You don't get help for it. You can't cure it. You can only learn to put it aside for as long as you can and live a normal life before getting a vasectomy when you really can't take it anymore
OP, do you realise how much advice you've received and you aint responding shit
No, see
>being attracted to kids is disgusting
But kids are sexy
Sinks n shit
Rekt
classic
No, you're right. OP you can stick to Austin and fuck him in the ass
'Tis a mouse.
Why the fuck would their friend click that link? Do you expect Him to be so fucking retarded He clicks everything He gets?
Did someone say CP?
kek. They can help with that but they cant help faggots? Therapy is trash.
do mouseys make good pets?
>Why else would he know the slag?
Reported. Because now you know it also
>
Nibbas just broke rule #7 on Yea Forums.
fuck thanks user
>Why the fuck would their friend click that link? Do you expect Him to be so fucking retarded He clicks everything He gets?
He asked for his friend
>Did someone say CP?
no sir
Hol' up
Check rule #7
No problem fam
King Prawns. Theyre tasty as shit but endangered so filming yourself eating them will net you 7 years in prison minimum
Go directly to jail. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. Go directly to jail
Yeah but they only live to about 4 years on average. They can go further if taken with proper care.
You wont have enough storage. Not memory you fucking mong
Kitty pr0nz is super illegal, better burn the state down, hopefully you're from cali
I've solved so many captchas for this thread, OP fuck you and I hope you enjoyed my advice
Samefag
Yeah... Asking your friend with illegal porn to click a link on an image board to a site with "fbi" & "child pornography" will SURELY get Him to click it.
t. samefag
You broke rule #1 don't fall for obvious b8. look at the screen cap again you tard
Checked
Trips, looks like you gotta an hero now op
Those tabs tho
I know a perfect way how to get out from this but you are a pedo so just start fisting with your friend and start preparing for what u will be doing for next 10+ years
I overlooked that thanks 4 pointing it out had a good chuckle
I accidentally added , it wasn't supposed to be included
Is op still here?
Who said Walter?
Back to /soc/, Abdu.
OP is most likely not here & is laughing as He has everybody squirming like worms to unfold His bullsjit story.
You are excused
As inaktive as he is, it seems like him and his pedo buddy are carrying Away the wifes body
I think because people said they would report OP to FBI, they actually scared him away
OP just needed some advice y'all, you did him dirty
OP, if you're reading this. Some of us are ready to help you out
>be a chomo
>get caught by wife in possession of cp
>wife might call the cops
>what do I do?
Well, your best bet would be to flee the country and start a new life down Mexico-way. OR you can prepare yourself for prison, where you'll be locked up with a bunch of people who want to murder you and who will try to murder you the first chance they get. You'll get out and then become a registered sex offender, with no friends, no family, no wife, no children, no hope whatsoever of leading a "normal" life.
Or you can kys.
Up to you OP. This is a just reward for your misdeeds. I have no pity for you, because I believe that chomos are the scum of the earth and deserve nothing but pain and torture, as do the majority of other people.
Good luck!
I don't think he was bullshitting
This
this is fake , all you retarded newfags are feeding this dipshits need for attention , kys
Should we get this thread pruned?
What y'all don't understand is that inmates will murder him the second a guard lets word of his charge slip. His only way to prepare for prison is to practice getting stabbed.
He's most likely phonefagging right now considering He said His wife had the hard-drive/computer. Assuming it's still in His pocket & the story is true, He's fucked if He thinks you're undetectable with mobile data turned OFF.
PRACTICE GETTING STABBED!?
HAHAHA
and stream it
OP you will not go to jail
Mods are waiting for somebody to take the bait and post you know what so they can download it THEN they'll shut this thread down.
good one
Ah, wise move
Good.. put a bullet in your head now
All these newfags not recognizing pasta
Also checked
lol
You mean like this?
dude its all over you wife found out your a sick fuck and youll never see your kids again maybe kill your slef and save your self from tyrones big black cock gang raping you every day?
Is this a pasta?
Holy shit, I hit dubs without knowing
When will these newfags, you, realize it's not about the pasta it's about the bait. Fucking scrubs.
> Eating noodles
> Sees cp from husbands computer
> Knows it his friend Austins shit
> Still blames husband
I'm not fooled by bait.
Yeah just sit back and wait for the shitstorm. Don't click on shit nigga.
OP what if your wife and Austin set you up so she could have reason to leave you and fuck Austin behind your back?
the meme is supposed to be the woman's thoughts
>sage
Why? Do you have the holy hand grenade?
Thanks for the tip
No way you go from this:
"I've been coming to Yea Forums to check out the loli threads, So much so that I told my friend Austan about it and he told me that jerking it to cartoons is what newfags do."
to this:
"had autopsy photos from the JonBenet Ramsey crime scene with naked body and all. So I'm excited"
Nice bait, remember seeing this pasta a few months ago
This is so true
what is KP?
Someone said KP or GTFO
How dare they?
Report your wife to the cops, she's in possession of child pornography
Should have screamed in her face why she's playing CP on the suround system, called the cops on her, and get your neighbors to testify that you just came home to your wife blasting the neighborhood with this degeneracy.
once her ass is busted, rape your kids or something.<
but since you ran off like a scared pussy, all that is left to do is close your eyes one last time to rape your kids in your phantasy and then get introduced into the wonderful world of anal destruction by Tyrone.
there is no way to recover now.
Your life is fucked.
Well, one chance would be to keep running and rape some kids on the way, but if your kids are still virgins, you're probably too much of a pussy to pull this through
faggot newfag OP, this maymay is supposed to be the wife's thoughts as she tries and fails to come to terms with her Yea Forumstard husband
I hope you sent that screen shot to the FBI. Those tabs.....
Naaaah
The tables has turned
What holy uand grenade?
Old image, newfriend.
Smart man right here.
Lame. God damb kids these days don't know about star wars.
Maybe lurk more, or perhaps think through what you see before you post.
Sicko mode
Green text maybe so I can understand better
People claim this is pasta but I haven't seen this one before
I do but I quit long ago because I couldn't afford cable. Now I can't afford games & movies.
Book a flight to Russia, they don’t have an extradition agreement with the US
my nigga
256-Dimensional Chess GrandMaster here
It's Monty Python you fucking trilobite.
I have
OP is a faggot
Please do not bump this cancer
> Got myself into some real deep shit
> coming to Yea Forums to check out the loli threads
> my friend Austan told me that jerking it to cartoons is what newfags do.
> he lent me his hard drive
> hard drive filled with a shitload of CP that he's been collecting over the years.
> He said he even had autopsy photos from the JonBenet Ramsey crime scene with naked body and all.
> I plugged the hard drive up to my laptop and after jerking it, I realized that my laptop wasn't going to have enough storage to save all the HD videos.
> I made a best buy run to pick up a hard drive.
> I get home and see that my wife is home early from work.
> I can hear the CP playing from the surround sound system
> I had it hooked up prior to leaving.
> I can feel my heart racing as im struggling to get the door open.
> I'm standing in the doorway with my best buy bag and the look on my wife's face stops my heart.
> All i can remember is her screaming at the top of her lungs
> tells me to get out and she didn't want me around our kids.
> tried to explain to her that it was Austan CP
>"why would you have it in the first place" she said
> she kicked me out and she said that she might give my laptop to the police.
What should I do.?
>i kek every time
Muhman! A real thinking Yea Forumsanon!
What a retard if you don't have the presence of mind ti remember to hide stuff like that you shouldnt have it
Fuck yeah, it is. So hawt.
I told your fucking dumbass that I could NOT afford the fucking cable bill.
Why is Yea Forums so ruined?
No one should as it is >illegal
77 posters yet we haven't come to any conclusion
Are you for fuquin real?
Nice try FBI
Bottles of piss? damn
OP is dead by now
O, ye uninitiated...
I kinda know who you are. i think you are a fucking idiot larping, and probably not 18 yet. although you probably were not lying about the loli part.
Looks like OP started another BS thread.....
and he finally admitted this was fermented cider beer from home brewing or something along those lines
shit thats pretty informative actually. thanks for sharing.
What was there? Was it actually information or was it cp?
Finally someone who took me seriously, I am glad you found it useful user!
mad af lmao
Let's prune this thread
That's a piece of loose leaf paper you schmuck.
Moooooodddddsssss
Holy shit no... please don't tell me that's a bottle of perfume filled with piss which you go around spraying on people, saying it's Jesus Christ blessing them.
Please...
It is
>this thread
Don't be ridiculous. They're filled with cum.