Confess secrets Yea Forumstards

I will keep it in my mouth as long as I can. Swallow right as I walk in the door. The wife won't realize she is getting a stranger's cum when we kiss.

I've got boots similar to these: amazon.com/Liberty-Genuine-Leather-Zipper-Formal/dp/B01GFI1UX6

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You're a little pussy. You should kiss your wife with the cum in your mouth and make her swallow it.

I think the Nolan Trilogy fu king sucked except that Heath Ledger one but people defend that shit to the death

Maybe I will. Usually I swallow as I walk through the door. I get so turned on as it gets in her mouth.

Kek

I used to come here a lot, now I check it maybe once every few months when I reached maximum boredness.
Yea Forums turned to complete shite a long time ago.

I once ate a peach for days.

i wish i was a cute girl. i know how to take advantage of the market at this point; there are thousands of lonely, horny men who would pay top dollar for an attractive girl’s private snapchat, and exploiting that is a ridiculously easy way to make money

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I once went to a gay sex club and blew 3 guys

I think the third one would have been way better if the joker had been able to appear.

I wanna gangbang the fuck out of my on/off again gf. I'm trying to convince her it'll be sexy and fun, but it's really an excuse to release pent up aggression and see my friends fucking wreck her. She's a "goodie two shoes" type, so watching her get pumped full of cum would be great. Ideally, she'd be sobbing and sore by the end, and I'll have a hell of a homemade porno

Two cocks in her ass, two in her cunt and one to make her puke. I'm sure she'll ruined by the end!

I work as a janitor and we just yeet the recycling in with the trash. It's really depressing to learn recycling efforts are a lie

scrub. I blew almost a dozen last time I was at a gay sex club.

>be me
>be 17 y/o
>cute girl cousin, 11 y/o, blond hair, blue eyes, just starting to get tits
>at that age when she's boy-crazy
>whenever we're together she grabs at my dick
>being a "nice guy" I always duck my crotch out of the way, but after a while it starts to get old
>one time she and her ugly older sister come over to the house and start screaming "Boy's underwear!" and proceed to tear through mine and my brother's dressers
>finally had enough of this shit
>next time she comes over we're hanging out in my room
>door closed
>eventually she makes grab for dick
>I don't dodge
>she now has handful of pants filled with dick
>she doesn't seem to know what to do with this situation
>ask her, "So, what do you want to do, Julie?"
>she releases her grip
>I ask if she'd like to see it
>she seems unsure
>I start to pull down my pants
>"I'll show it to you unless you tell me to stop."
>she says nothing
>cock out, diamonds
>I sit down on bed
>she comes closer, her wide eyes pinned on muh dick
>curious, she pokes it with finger
>I give her the Grand Tour, showing her all of the parts: shaft, head, balls
>I lay back and tell her that she can explore it all she wants
>she gets more bold
>pulls this, squeezes that, her little hands all over my dick, asks if this hurts or what that feels like, etc.
>precum.flac

-- continue?

I raped a woman and her daughter in Iraq after she attacked one of my mates

Definitely continue

did you pound her?

No

Why is this so funny to me

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(continued)

I let her explore some more, but I'm not going to fuck/molest my 11 year old cousin. Eventually I tell her that it's over and put everything away. Later, she goes home, I beat off with the fury of a thousand suns and Rolodex that memory for years to come.

The good news is, she got it out of her system and stopped grabbing for my junk. I know it sounds great having a young, dumb girl trying grab your dick, but she'd do that shit around my mom, her dad, our grandparents, and it was fucking annoying and embarrassing.

Also, it never came up again -- though I think she was jealous when a few months later at Christmas when I told her about my first serious girlfriend. After that, we barely spoke.

This happened in 1981-ish and this is the first time I've told anyone. Weirdly, I clearly remember Yes' "Awaken" playing on my turntable during this experience, so it must've lasted about 15 minutes or so.

>inb4: "HURDURHURDUR oldfag"

I know . . . disappointing because this is Yea Forums and I'm supposed to admit that I raped her (but she liked it and repeatedly came back for more), that I came on her feet and stole her panties for future use/abuse, cucked her out to my brother and friends, and later became a bloated incel gamer tranny who voted for Trump. The thing is you don't always have to give into your worse instincts. You can be a reasonable human being if you want to. You can make better choices; it's actually pretty easy to do the right thing.

Because it's 4am and I'm making chocolate pudding because I've lost control of my life.

Huh. That sounds entirely reasonable and like something that might have happened.

What a faggot ending, try a better ending next time

See, unlike you I was 10 and she was 6 and I actually ate her out and fucked her.

Fuck it, I'm drunk.

Aug of 2016 my brother "J" lost his job right after finding out his gf (now wife) "K" was pregnant. He got fired for some actual bs, was fighting getting his job back with his union and somehow or another I let them move in with me (supposed to be 1 month tops) into my small ass 1 bedroom apt.

Long story short, 1 month turned into 6 months, and by this time J had his job back and K was on maternity leave. It wasnt really a pain sharing the place bc I work a ton and back then I stayed at my then gfs a lot. I only ever saw K on her days off but now I was seeing her every evening bc she was on leave and my gf and I sorta broke up (diff story.)

One night K (who was 24 at this point, I'm 32 then and my bro 29) is very pregnant. Somehow the topic of pregnancy as a fetish pops up, and me being the envelope pusher tells K I have a huge pregnancy fetish. She tells me J cant even stay hard anymore and pregnancy makes her super horny but theres "nothing she can do" because I'm home all the time. I assume she means she wants to masturbate but can't since her room is literally my couch, so I tell her "if you need to relieve some stress, feel free to masturbate any time, I dont mind, I think its hot." She sort of pauses and says, "only if you do it with me."

This was the first time we got off together, seeing her swollen pussy lips and hearing her try to be quiet while she squeaked out a couple orgasms made me bust one of the biggest loads of my life. It was so wrong.

I resented my brother for taking advantage of my apt so I didnt even feel bad about mutually jo'ing w K. We did that every night for almost 2 weeks before I started cumming onto her pussy, she'd use my cum as lube and practically fist herself. I asked her 100 times to fuck and she always said "we can't." We never had physical contact.

Today, we see each other about twice a month. We do small talk, sometimes I let my looks at her linger a bit too long. She def regrets it, I can tell.

You and 1000000 other loser druggies

I don't need you to believe it or like it. It happened.

Slight followup:

Anyway, she's a fat old Christian mom now with a couple of fat kids, married to some asshole, trapped in some shit town about 90 minutes away, but she seems happy with her place in the world from what I can gather -- I haven't seen her in at least twenty years.

OTOH, I'm fit, an atheist, married to an amazing woman 23 years my junior, no kids, we've got money in the bank, and travel the world together This year we were offered jobs on a small island in the South Pacific and are considering minimizing our lives and leaving the rathole of America behind.

Life is about the choices you make. For me, life's good.

My comment about it actually happening wasn't derogatory lol. Just surprising to see things that I believe could have happened in a secrets thread

My apologies, user.

2 years ago my boyfriend gave me herpes. He told me herpes wasn't permanent so I wasn't worried. Cue to today I visit my gynecologist. She confirms my herpes and tells me it IS permanent. I don't know who to believe.

WELL NOW THAT I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION I CAN TELL YOU WHAT IVE BEEN WANTING TO F=GWT OFF MY CHEST I LOVE BIG POO POOS BIG STINKY POO POOS ESPECUALLY ON MY FACE DRIPPING DOWN SMELLING LIKE STINKY WET ROTTEN GARBAGE AND FILTH I BELEIVE JESUS WOULD WANT US AS HUMANS AS HIS CREATION TO EAT POOPOS IN FACT GENISIS 7:17 SAYS GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD THAT HE SAID WE SHOULD EAT LOT OF STINKY SQUISHY SLIMY YUMMY YUM YUM POOPIES I DO NOT WANT TO GO AGAINST THE WORD OF THE LORD SO I WILL START EATING MY POOPIES AS WELL AS THE POOPIES OF MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY I JUST NEED TO CONVINCE THEM TO GIVE POOPIED PANTS IF YOU LOVE GOD MAKE SURE YOU EAT PLENTY OF POOPIES

I took a dump in the girls bathroom sink. I had followed a girl in and was jerking it next to the stall with her peeing. I had to poop really bad though so I took a dump in the sink while the hot girl was coming out of the restroom. She saw me with my pants down and me pooping with a hard dick. So embarrassing

> In class, community college sucks
> Sitting next to black kid, Jamarcus
> Have to shit
> Go to bathroom
> Push out a big long turd
> Turd looks like a black cock
> I get a funny idea
> Grab turd and stuff it in bag
> Back in class, sitting at desk
> Throw turd at front of classroom for all students and teacher to see
> Yell “Jamarcus, I think your dick fell off!”
> Nobody laughs
> People start screaming in disgust and confusion, yelling “wtf”
> No one got the joke. Those who did did not appreciate it
> I quickly exit while everyone is freaking out over my poop

I don't think anyone saw me do it

MY VAGINA IS ITCHY AMD HAS CREAMY CHEESE INSIDE GUYS EW ITS ALL WHITE AND YELLOW AND STINKY LIKE COTTAGE CHEESE UUUUU I JUST FARTED AND SOME OF THE CREAM SQUIRTED OUT INTO MY CATS FACE HMMM LET ME TASTE IT YUCK TASTE LIKE ROTTEN CRAB MEAT SO DISGUSTING EW IT ITCHES SO BAD DO YOU THINK I HAVE AN INFECTION? CLUMPS OF IT ARE LEAKING OUT NOW

My dad used to not be mormon but is now mormon again. Ever since he became mormon I'm mad at him. He needs not to be that. He calls me after work once a week. Why. He misses my mom because she died. I wish he would stop hurting my family. He doesn’t care. He was ok when he wasn’t Mormon but now he’s not good. He has two cars because he’s selfish. Because of this I try not to celebrate Christmas with my kids but he always insist on sending presents. When I was 13 he told me Santa wasn’t real.

He wants to help me move. No thanks. I’m allergic to his cat. I can’t go to his house. He also eats a lot of head cheese and it disgusting! Also I think it gave me diarrhea. Thats right DIARRHEA!!! He didn’t care that I had diarrhea.

I accidentally got a DUI. He was mad and wouldn’t help me. Now he’s mormon again. I’m so confused right now. My wife wants to leave me. My dad wants to help me thru the divorce but i don’t want anything to do with him I know it’s his fault. He asked me about the cat. I told him what cat but he was talking about his cat.

Theres a lot of carbs and shit in thay man, have you tried maybe substituting the dough with a nice healthy cauliflower crust? I hear its quite scrumptious.

trust the doctor you fucking inbred

The herp is permanent. Acyclovir can be used to minimize the period of time the sores are present. It' sucks, but it'snot the end of the world.

Wtf copy pasta is this?

I've been keeping a secret from some of my friends at my old gym about why I dont go any more.

> Am a regular gym rat.
> Me and my group of friends like to goof around and fart on each other, sometimes with our pants down.
> This new girl, Angela, started coming to the gym.
> Angela and I have gotten close.
> Yesterday i decide to try to bring her in on our group joke.
> I see her bending over the water fountain
> I run over pulled my pants down, squatted and ripped the loudest smelliest fart I had ever ripped in her face.
> Pretty sure my powerful fart blew her hair back.
> Instead of laughing or farting back on me, she gets angry.
> She starts raising her voice, asking what was wrong with me, calling me disgusting.
> A few people who I thought were cool side with her and tell me they are fed up with my behavior.
> Someone grabs the manager who promptly tells me to leave, that i had my last chance and blew it.
> I get pissed and break some gym equipment.
> They tried detaining me, but I leave before the police arrive.

I’m really scared. All of my friends have been blowing up my phone asking me whats going on. So idk what to do. The gym is my life, where all my friends are and this stupid fucking stuck up bitch ruined it for me. All because i played a little joke on her.

Cauliflower crust garlic bread is fucking 11/10.

copy pasta? no my dad needs help and I can't tell anyone. what do I do?

wow my life is ruined :(

Either you're actually fuckin retarded or a troll.

Actually have never tried cauliflower crust on anything. Is it hard to prepare?

My landlord's fiancé keeps snapchatting me about wanting to roleplay as the one who committed the Whitechapel murders back in '88.

>spent night with guy
>couldnt go anywhere else, leaving not an option
>had consensual sex with condom, once its over he takes condom off
>pushes himself in me later on without condom or warning
>spend night having sex with him anyway because i cant go anywhere until the morning and i want to make him happy
>cums in me and covers my neck in bruises and hickeys to "mark his territory"
i ended up telling my ex who asked if i had sex with the guy, but no one else knows and i feel really fucked up by the whole thing

I've been keeping a secret from my family on why I dont work at Walmart anymore. Lately I’ve been pretty active on Tinder. I take a lot of dick pics to send to my matches. I usually take them in the bathroom at work. However I really fucked up last week.

> Talking to a cutie on Tinder while on the floor at work.
> I really want to take a dick pic at that moment.
> Go down to an empty aisle and make sure the coast is clear.
> I take off my shirt, pull down my pants and boxers and start shooting pics of me and my dick, blowing kisses for the camera, the usual.
> Im so into it, bombarding this girl with my dick pics, that i didn't even notice people saw me.
> When I’m about to finish someone violently grabs my shoulders and starts pulling me back.
> Yell “what the fuck man!”
> Realize its my manager.
> Didn't realize I was in the toy aisle.
> Never noticed people with their kids catching me with my pants down.
> Those families notified my manager who tried to restrain me.
> I ran before the cops showed up.

I’m currently hiding at my dad’s house. I can’t go back to my mom’s because Walmart knows that address and will probably send the police their. But yeh I guess its time for me to look for a new job. Hopefully I can apply to a different Walmart. I really liked working there

kek

I'm probably just going to break up with my bf for lying to me. As for dating, I'm just going to act like I dont know I have herpes so I can still get some action

Why is it my fault? I was just being silly with her. And now my friends are trying to drag my gf into this

If you can make your own homemade teryaki sauce you can make your own cauliflower crust. It's not difficult, but general familiarity with cooking terms and preparation is suggested.

ie: If we were in DND world, and Chef were a class cauliflower crust would be a level 5 chef spell.

I lost my breasts to breast cancer and I have multiple scars all over my body due to other surgeries. I have attempted suicide but it’s failed. It’s superficial of me to only find myself unattractive because all my surgery scars but god I would kill to have a normal body with no scars. I get extremely irritated to see other women well endowed because I know the current breasts I have aren’t real and I wish I could’ve kept mine. It’s incredibly stupid how jealous I get when I see women with big breasts and a normal body. It’s at a point I really hate women who have normal bodies.

Be REAL fuckin' careful with that hon. It is a felony in some places to knowingly risk infection. Plus if you ever infect anyone there's a decent chance they may curb stomp you.

I tend to have very violent tendency that i suppress at max to avoid to hurt people but beating up someone feels so great and the adrenaline is SO great when you feel it pumping in you. But it's all up to you to believe that or not.

they're not going to call the police, you'll be fine, you lost your job sure, but you're not getting arrested since it's highly unlikely anyone is going to press charges.

Because farting on people without their consent is a one way ticket to getting a knife shoved into your ribs.

That's okay, you're home now with the Chan Clan. We hate all attractive women, too. One of us! One of us!

Not if I pretend I didn't know. I'll pretend to cry and stuff

You should just let your cousin fuck you like the dirty whore you are. Text him right now and meet up tonight, beg for his cock whore.

Ok I'm happy I won't get arrested. But do you think I'll be able to reapply to a different Walmart even if I got fired from one? I really liked working for that company.

Not if she's my friend. Friends are silly with each other. She probably has no friends outside the gym because she's so stuck up

My fiancee just kicked me out because I didn’t poo toilet

She wants to call off the wedding.

Am I too ugly for her? How do I tell parents?

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That is definitely the wrong opinion to have in life, friendo. I've almost broken peoples wrists for grabbing my arm.

Haven't told my gf I was fired from Starbucks yet.

> Today, during my bathroom break
> had diarrhea
> I was grossed out and it kind of burned and smelled
> I started screaming because i was having diarrhea.
> People are knocking and opening the door to check if I’m ok, I scream that i’m having diarrhea and instead of helping they close the door and leave.

> boss eventually knocks on the door
> tells me to stop screaming, then leaves
> When my diarrhea stops, I come out of the bathroom, with my pants and undies still down, butt unwiped, and approach him at the front register.
> Customers are shocked and backing away from me.

> My manager starts to yell “what are you doing? Pull your pants up.”
> I scream, “NO I’M HAVING DIARRHEA AND IT HURTS MY BUTT AND YOU DON’T FEEL BAD FOR ME YOUR TOO MEAN AHHHHHHHHHHH.”
> I run back to the bathroom
> grab some of my shit with my bare hand.
> I carry out the shit to show my boss that I really did have diarrhea.
> Everyone was screaming, including my boss. Kind of overeacting.
>I was legitimately screaming because people were so mean.

Anyways, I got fired and escorted out.

I am so embarrassed I don't know what to do.

Sounds like a bad infection of CAPS

Damn you must not have a lot of friends then

That... is a possibility. But it's best to just own it. Lots of people have it already, and we're only a decade away from a cure.

WHAGT IS CAPS? IS THAT AN STD?

Forget working at any Walmart while the manager who caught you is still there. He will be called asking about you and well, internally they can discuss anything. Go to target or something else, legally they can't say you pulled your cock out. Just your start & end date and salary. Anything else is a law suit waiting to happen.

But no one will want me if I have herpes

That sucks Yea Forumsro. I do somewhat understand where you're coming from, having a body that you hate for reasons beyond your control makes life real shitty sometimes.

I want to ask out a girl from my office

Yeah, it's not much but it's still a secret

I've got enough friends. I'm just open when they meet me that I react... poorly... to unexpected physical contact.

Ok :(

Got it, but she never told me this. If she had told me farts made her uncomfortable, I wouldn't have farted on her.

That's not true at all. My ex got the herp by being a whore and fucking anything that moved, and she still gets a good dicking regularly after she got the herp.

Plus, using protection and only being active when you're not active minimizes the risk. I've had sex with people with herpes (and I'm glad they informed me before hand) and it was fine. I didn't get it.

What do you do then? Shit on the floor like a sand nigger?

Do it Yea Forumsro what do you have to lose

No way! I think I got fired for having diarrhea too!

So I work at a Starbucks. Their coffee makes me have to poop. This morning I really had to poop. I ran to the ladies bathroom and removed my pants completely. I squat on the toilet facing the tank. This is how I always sit. The poop comes out easier this way. Anyways I forgot to lock the door. My male manager opens the door wide, so all of the customers can see me. He asks me why I’m sitting like that. Before I can tell him to leave me alone, the shit starts pouring out my ass, onto the floor some of it splattering on my manager. Somehow he slips and falls into my diarrhea, I can’t stop and poop squirts into he mouth and eyes. Everyone is screaming. The police arrive and arrest me for vandalizing the bathroom. When i came back to work the next day there was a huge poster in the office of me pooping out diarrhea with a fearful gasping expression on my face. Everyone’s been laughing and making fun of me.

You like working there? Wtf man?

I can't stand being in a Wal-Mart for more then 10 minutes.

Eck I hate condoms! No thx

No I am not sand man and no I didn't toilet

Nothing honestly, it's only an internship and I'll be done by the fall

It's fun, the crew is really cool

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... Whelp if you're not willing to put in the minimal amount of effort, when you infect someone keep in mind you deserve to have a sharp pin inserted forcefully between the C3 and C4 vertebrae rendering you instantly paralyzed.

Kind of a similar story.

I work at a Starbucks. A few days ago, I was using the restroom and farted really loud. Whatever it happens. When I came out however, I found out my crush had been in the lobby, and heard me fart. Worse my coworkers told him it was me and gave him my full name and everything. They also told him I had a crush on him. He used to chat with me regularly, now he won’t even look at me.

Then do it. Maybe not now, maybe wait until your last week and just ask if you two can grab coffee during your break, and then if she's amicable you ask for her number so you can meet up for more coffees in the future.

No it is not an STD. It is more like cancer.

Had sex with a tinder girl. She showed up to my place completely wasted after driving across LA to get to my house.

So we're banging and then I hear her snoring lol she was completely fucking passed out. I slapped her, moved her, tried waking her up...nothing.

Jackpot

It was the hottest sexual experience of my life to have a pussy to enjoy how I want. So much better when you don't have to worry about her feelings. I just pumped and pumped and finished on her leg.

thx for story
made my day

I've been banned from my church and my husband doesn't know why. Here's why:

I’m so mad about something that recently happened. So I’m a Christian women in the south. I work at a good ole chicfila. Last year, to honor my God-fearing workplace, I got a tattoo above my vagina that says “my pleasure,” with the chic-fi-la logo. This year I wanted to get a new tattoo, this time I want the inscription “my butt pleasure” above my butthole, with the chic-fi-la chicken showing it’s butthole. I wanted to get it in time for my church’s talent show, so I got it the night before the show. Unfortunately, my stupid tattoo artist used sharpie instead of actual ink which pissed me off. I knew the talent judges wouldn’t like it and disqualify it because it wasn’t real ink. Anyways, I wasn’t going to back out at the last minute, so I decided to go through with the talent show, hoping the judges wouldn’t notice that my tattoo was a fake.
The day of the show. I had to wait through three renditions of “Christmas shoes,” and a kid who’s talent was picking his nose with his tongue before I could hop on stage. Finally it was my turn. I slowly inhaled and confidently strutted on stage. I turned around, bent over and pulled down my pants to show off my new tat right above my perked butthole. A gasp came from the whole room, probably because they could tell it was a fake. I accidentally let out a squeaky fart. Everyone started coughing as they further grasped that my tattoo was sharpie and not real. Two burly church members grabbed me by my arms and dragged me to the exit doors and threw me outside on the grass. The pastor came out and told me I was banned from attending their church and threatened to call the police if I didn’t vacate the premises. I knew they would be disappointed that my tattoo was fake, but I didn’t think they would actually ban me from their church.

fuck off prick

Fuck him then. If he ain't willing to talk to a human being, he ain't worth the time.

OH LIKE HPV? IS IT HPV?

Did you violate her asshole at all?

are you retarded

I know I'm just really embarrassed. He comes in everyday and always scowls at me. I feel like total shit :(

No. I just fucked her pussy. That was enough for me.

You're the one who refuses to keep your legs closed or use protection and actively want to spread the disease.

I'm really manipulative but it seems to give people a good impression of me. This one time I talked a girl down from suicide just because I wanted to bang her. I have fucked her and she still thanks me to this day for helping her.

Fair enough. I couldn't have resisted her asshole, but to each their own.

Shit yo :( That sucks Yea Forumsro.

My girlfriend wears nothing when she gets her period. No tampons, pads, cups. Not even underwear.

I try to keep this information hidden from my friends, but sometimes its hard.

She gets blood everywhere. My car, bedding, chairs etc have all been ruined and had to be replaced. She stained everything she puts her cooch on, but doesn’t want to replace them. Has chairs around her house that have brown stains on them. I’m embarrassed when my friends have to ride in her car and ask “did someone poop on your seat?” and she corrects them and says it’s period blood and theirs nothing to be ashamed of.

Anyways, i ended up having to replace my expensive gaming chair last month cause she sat on it when i told her not too. Well cue this week i find out she's on her period. So i bubble wrap EVERYTHING I OWN. However when she enters my apartment with her bloody dripping white leggings she notices my bubble wrap scheme and freaks out. She’s offended and asks why i would humiliate her like that, asked if i was ashamed of her for being a woman. Before I could say anything she left. She’s now demanding an apology.

i'm being on a lil bit of both

If it was never discovered I would love to try sucking a guys cock. I don't find men attractive but have an urge to suck cocks...

Ok thx you can stop talking to me now

I appreciate your sympathy Yea Forumsro

How are you this autistic?

Lol the hero she needed but didn't deserve

Jesus. Free bleeding. That's fucked up. Tell her to fuck off.

I abandoned my mentally incapacitated father for college.

My father used to be a god-fearing man. A true muslim who diligently followed the Koran and set a good example for his family. However, after the car crash, things haven’t been the same. My mother tells us he had a brain injury that completely altered his personality. He no longer goes to mosque or prays to Allah. Now all he does is… poopies.

He’s OBSESSED with poopy. Always singing “POOPY POOPY POOPY” and pooping turds everywhere and throwing his poopies around. Me and my sister would spend hours cleaning up his poopy turds only for him to come back and fling his butt around to squeeze out more poopies while screaming “PPOOOOOOOOPPPPPPYYYYYYYY!!!!”

Will things ever change? Will he still go to heaven? My mom says we have to accept him for who he is now. I pray to Allah every day asking him to bring my father back. I don’t want anymore poopies

Me autistic? How am I autistic? I not the one who fucking bleeds on everything

There's so many user's here though. No chance you're talkin to the same one who said you deserve to be paralyzed for knowingly risking infected other men and women with herpes.

I love her too much tho. The original reason she cited for free bleeding is that she’s environmentally conscious and doesn't want to use wasteful products like pads and tampons that would end up in a landfill. Now, she’s taken to even more extreme measures to be environmentally conscious. First she stopped flushing the toilet when she shits. Literally her toilet no longer works because it’s so full of shit, so she just shits in a trash bag. She literally screams at me when i flush the toilet at my place so i have to wait for her to leave before i can flush turds down.
The 2nd thing she has done is stopped wiping after she takes a shit. She constantly smells like ass like disgusting. And now ALL of her clothes are stained not just her period clothes. She wears a lot of white and no underwear so her pants alway have a brown stinky stain on the back.

I can’t say anything no matter how gentle or she’ll scream at me.

well they can all stop talking to me then

Then you're clearly a faggot and on the wrong site bitch.

She's.. no. that's not environmentally conscious at all.

fuck off I'll go back to redit then

good.

are you retarded thinking this man is retarded

I know I've tried telling her about more reasonable ways to reduce waste but she won't listen and keeps saying I'm being lazy

Can I have ur first name cause im quoting this on my insta lmfao

fuck off back to snoo then fag. If you can't handle the shithole you shouldn't enter into the shithole.

why would you purposely do that to another person?

YAYAYAYAYAYAYA

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I just blew a guy I don't know and swallowed his cum.

First name: Jack
Last name: Off
Lol

Something really embarrassing happened recently with our family that I dont want my church or friends to find out about.

Background: Our youngest, Jacsin, is 7 years old. We decided to continue breastfeeding him till he’s 8, as well as diapering him. It’s just too difficult to potty train and much healthier to breast feed. I did the same for the older two kids (11m and 15f).

> Two nights ago
> Wife and I take our 3 kids to Olive Garden.
> While dining, Jacsin does a big poop in his diaper.
> 10 minutes of him screaming about his butt being mushy
> The poop started to stink really bad.
> Bathroom too far from the table (Honestly, the restaurant should have bathroom closer to our table).
> Couldn’t change Jacsin at our table because we didn’t want to mess up our food.
> Plan C.
> Approach the neighboring table of two dining couples.
> “excuse me”
> plop Jacsin on table, accidentally knocking over a few glasses.
> Proceed to change Jacsin’s diaper
> Accidentally spill some creamy clumps of poop into the couples’ pasta dishes.
> Instead of being understanding of my dilema, the couples start to scream.
I hush them and tell them to be more compassionate.
> Suddenly, Jacsin, with diaper down, starts squirting and spewing diarrhea all over the couples’ , their food and their table. All of them get it in their mouths.
> They immediately call for the manager.
> I quickly sit Jacsin back down at our table.
> Manager approaches us, tells us to leave the restaurant.
> I tell him no, this is a restaurant and families are welcome too.
> So angry that I threaten to never come back.

Luckily, the manager let us stay. He ended up kicking couples out because he didn’t want to loose our business. Honestly, I was so mad at the couples I tipped 18 cents on a $75 meal.

Well... that's... have you considered leaving and falling in love with someone less crazy?

why wouldnt she just use reusable rags instead of pads and clean her ass in the shower? are you dating a retard user?

do what to another person?

Sounds fun. Are you a guy?

Honestly, i tried breaking up with her but it went wrong. After i broke up with her she started following me on campus one day. Then I ran into her one time after i broke up. As usual, Her and a couple of friends were bouncing around naked outside around the main part of campus screaming random words but no coherent thoughts they just keep screaming nothing really. Anyways my gf starts squirting green diarrhea everywhere all over her friends. They smear it on themselves and start throwing it at passerby while calling them fascists. When she saw me she ended up screaming and chasing me. Later i kind of felt bad for her so i got back together with her.

I caught my little sister sending nudes to older boys in her school and used that to blackmail her into sharing them with me. This escalated into me grooming her to be the star of a private webcam channel.

She should use reusable menstral cups. They're cheap, and according to my ex work really really well.

I've also suggested this. She doesn't want to waste water cleaning the rags.

How old is she?
Have you had sex with her yet?

I've also suggested this, along with reusable rags. She doesn't want to waste water cleaning them.

give them herpes

Thx I put it up XD lmfao cant stop laughing at that response

Im not doing it on purpose tho I

.... Well, you're on your own Yea Forumsro.

i find this really hard to believe.

I miss the days when I was a young teen and I used to do all sorts of kinky shit on webcam with a friend of mine for someone older who claimed to be a girl.

if you know you have it and dont tell people and dont use protection then youre purposefully potentially exposing people to a disease

Yes

i bust a nut every time i get a (You)
can you guys give me some please and thank you

I had unprotected sex with a hooker when I was in Hong Kong around four years ago

Got married to an English girl and didn't tell my family so they wouldn't take me out of the will

Copy pasta fag

Time

To

my small group of friends are right leaning and the past year or so I've become a leftist. I don't like them anymore, but I don't want to be alone.

Bust

Some

Nuts

chelsea boots. Look great, super comf, and no tying

I had a friend who did that. He said it was mostly older sad men. One guy in NY paid him $250/hour to hangout and watch documentaries about Las Vegas. He quit a couple years ago but he enjoyed it.

Why do so many faggots do the copy paste shit?

because they're too stupid to come up with their own ideas.

Where did u suck cock a adult bookstore?.

Yeh she's just really stubborn

Yeh but I dont want them to get the disease I have sex to cum not spread disease

Friend has a major crush on a coworker of his that’s a lesbian, only he doesn’t know, I wish I could tell him but it’s the first one in years where he’s genuinely happy about something and I feel that if I tell him he’d only get sadder than usual

I think it's just the same guy

they still would get it and its still purposeful on your part

i.4cdn.org/gif/1564071678080.webm

this man needs to confess

saw this in a different thread like 10 min ago. copy and past the fish bait XD

That sounds like an actual confession. Hope your VPN is secure

I let kids from the neighborhood swim in my pool to jerk to them from my bedroom

Hello, 911

I'm behind 15 VPN's, a firewall and your internet connection.

Do you just jerk off to the girls? Or the boys and the girls?

Is this guy aware or are you just going to find an unsuspecting man on the street and cram his peen in your mouth?

how did you end up spending the night with him? and why couldn't you leave??

Sounds like you're a horrible fit for that profession. Why would you choose that?

Not necessarily, only if I break out, which I probably won't have sex then

Nope, just the same guy. I started my own thread then people started being disrespectful.

How is that a secret?

i understand that, but that's a real good way to catch a rape charge of some sort

>loser druggies
That ain’t how you spell Tegrity.

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The girls

You can still cause infections if you're not breaking out.

True.

ages?

My salty chocolate balls are a lvl 5 chef spell.

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i would have raped her if it would be me, if the chick is that ugly no one cares

When my nieces stay at my house I let them sunbathe topless/nude

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Like 8-12

I told everyone you cunt

So you where hoping this would go better here.. fake news ignored. I honestly have read some really funny troll story. This one was not funny nor well put together. I would maybe work on it till your Trolling level is almost maxed out then try to write use a good one :)

Any regulars you like the best?

The friend was really you

I feel ya user. I want to be a woman I want to be a sexy cute trap but will never be. I’m a slightly chubby guy with a beard lots of body hair and my hair is thinning I’m to guyish to ever be a skinny sexy trap and be a whore. Feels bad man. Pic sorta related I guess.

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suppose not

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mingshamwow.jpg

Ive fucked my buddy's gf while she was blackout drunk

Thats called rape

I had sex with a 12 year old because I thought she was 15

thats not a gangbang you're talking about, it's a gang rape. There's a bit of a difference.

I love getting naked for men on webcam/kik and doing what they tell me. I would love to suck a guy off while people watch on webcam.

What happened? Car accident?

im bisexual

When I was 16 I made out with and fingered a 9yo girl

I let my 4yr old niece suck my dick

Is there a bot that keeps reposting the same exact thread, with the same exact OP image over and over? There's literally never another picture that kicks off these threads. Every day for fucking years. What the fuck?

You must be new here, welcome!

I cheated on my girlfriend for the entire duration of our relationship with her best friend. After she broke up with me I confessed my love to her best friend and we haven't spent a day apart since

Yeah

to find pattern in chaos is human, to force pattern on chaos is divine

i was phone

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Protip: Its no longer a secret if you share it.

Nope, been on Yea Forums for over a decade, I just always ignore these threads because I'm pretty sure it's an FBI honeypot.
>to find pattern in chaos is human, to force pattern on chaos is autism

It is if u don't share it with the people you are really trying to keep it a secret from...

Wish I was cute enough to do this but I would probably not make anything at this point

Hope you are enjoying your first day on Yea Forums

I can confirm there is not. I, personally, have started at least two of these threads this month.

awwww

people always say that but this would be the worst honeypot attempt in human history. go on a forum made up entirely of liars, larpers, and shills and try and get them to admit to crimes, then subpeona the IP to track them down, and only THEN can you start an actual investigation since no prosecutor on earth is even going to read a Yea Forums post into the record let alone prosecute on the basis of one. and that's even assuming the person you get even happens to be american, which is in no way guaranteed

i know for a fact there is a guy out there who thinks your scars are the sexiest fucking things he ever saw.

I've been meaning to ask, how do I access my Yea Forums account? I want to add a signature.
You also glow in the fucking dark, you sneaky FBI nigger.
----------
-Anonymous

I accidentally killed my mom. Not really a secret because everyone knows and it was ruled an accident, but I keep it a secret from new people.

And I think about it all the time.

Ctrl+w brings up the account menu

Unless Tinder changed I thought you couldn’t send pics? Also you do that in the bathroom on your break

how'd you kll her

FFS. Use protection so the rest of the world doesn’t end up with your herps

back to r/menswear

Nutted as she opened the door to my room, a jizz bullet shot straight into her eyeball. She stumbled backwards, dazed, and fell down the stairs and snapped her neck. Pretty good nut tho. I think about it all the time.

She was a freshman when it started. I have gotten head from her and I get to teach her everything but getting her to fuck is harder than I thought.

have leaks of a certain semi-celeb that i can't share anywhere since "the year of our lord" in her case is giving me the problems....

Need advice if anyone cares to
> Be me single have tinder slut fwb
> Tell some friends about this girl and how good she is in bed
> She casually asks if I have any friends who might be dtf
> mention that to best bud one night when we are drinking
> 'hey dude, I know you're married but my fuckbuddy wants to screw someone I trust- are you interested?'
> he is like ~~~ what am I hearing?
> couple weeks ago he says 'if we can keep it secret from my wife- I'm in'
> have arrange for her and I to go to his place this weekend while his wife is out of the picture
> the plan is she and I will stay the night. There will be drinks in the jacuzzi. The rest will make up as we go
I think we are all either gonna have an awesome time, or make a huge mistake. His wife is a cool chick but I like the idea of a friend having some fun with this amazing bitch I'm screwing.
Good or bad idea?

Good idea. You have nothing to lose.

Excuse me, I'm a CIA nigger. Get it right.

-Terry A. Davis

His wife won't know. So it literally never happened.

Enjoy!

Sounds like bad advice but this is what I wanted to hear.

Exactly. Trying to charge someone with a Yea Forums post that says "I raped my cousin when I was 10" is basically a one way path to getting laughed out of the court house.

Wait, so you're setting up a MMF 3way? Make sure you get both cocks in her asshole at the same time!

i was in a party drunk asf and there was this female but in reality was man disguise as a female and then idk how but we eventually was in a room and alone together and then i just said fuck it and suck the boobs outta him but i didnt have sex

My girlfriend is a hardcore feminist, body positive, fanfiction writing, fullblown tumblrista and is basically everything I used to make fun of back in 2009-2015. I actively have to hide my true feelings on certain topics because she's that radical. Recently brought up how much she hates Yea Forums culture and how horrible people are to tell others to go kill themselves and for using the word pussy as an insult. I feel like I sold my soul but physically and sexually she's like my walking wet dream: Skinny with a giant ass and perky tits, covered in tattoos and piercings and super kinky. I don't think I can do any better tbh.

i rape my sister

Please bike past me again

U like my Harley or my ass, faggot?

I never learned how to ride a bike.

You aren't missing out

That's really nice

If I say specifically, no doubt you guys will find the news stories, but I can tell you it was vehicle related.

I don't expect there to be an MMF, but am down for an MFM. Or we at least take turns at her.
She's said she will do whatever he wants. Or everything except anal which she doesn't do. He is probably gonna hold back and just try some low key stuff while remembering his wife. Then I'm sure at the point we've all drunk enough, he will give in to temptation and just fuck her.

Hot please tell me more

Pretty sure this is legit the SJW strategy to getting men on their side that aren't totally beta or gay... Conscripting attractive liberal women to be girlfriends and neutralize the target. It's basically prostitution, but anything for the cause, right?

I know some of y’all will laugh and think I’m lying but I use to use Minecraft role playing servers to get young girls nudes...I did this up until I was 18 youngest girl I got was 12 and she called me daddy. I can explain in greater detail if y’all want

green text?

Anyone here married or in long term relationship and cheated and gotten away with it? How did you do it? Any regrets?
I'm considering doing this. I love my wife but shits gone dull because kids and work. I need to be with another woman. Just to remember what good sex was like.

Depends if you have the willpower/money to eat healthy and do a shit load of cardio, the money/time to wax like a motherfucker (or laser hair removal if you're loaded) and fucking just buy a wig or a weave.
That's enough to be a whore anyway, you may struggle to find long term relationship acceptance if they're waking up next to you bald, but you can fuck with a wig on.

Live your dreams because life is better for me with more slutty transgirls around who want validation of their gender from my penis.

Alternatively get your shit together, find a therapist and stop using sex to validate yourself and go find some queer community that will accept you for who you are inside no matter how fucked you look.

There's one Hispanic girl, Luisa, she's a bit plump but that makes for a nice jiggly butt on a pretty child

Well... bully for her, she should take it up the ass that night.

please explicate further. I'm really interested.

I've been married for 9 years with three kids. Started fucking the girl at my son's daycare, when I'm "playing tennis". She's a 20yo student, big into anal which is great since my wife won't do any of that. Also got car based blowies from different hookers on my way to work

I want a nazi mom who can give me head

I have a lot of odd fetishes. One of them has been the idea of fucking my wife’s sister, but this morning it went from just fucking her to actually knocking her up and watching her belly swell. The idea had me literally throbbing diamonds.

Trying to decide how disgusted with myself I should be.

Ill greentext it
>be me bored 16 year old and slightly horny
>see Minecraft and decide to see if they have marriage/date/sex servers just for fun
>immediately find one called ODercraft, join it
>server is filled with horny girls and boys who like to roleplay
>message girl on server “hey wanna be mine”
>she says yes, we sex roleplay and she called me master
>ask if she has Snapchat, she does and she adds me
>flirt a little and ask for nudes
>she immediately sends a vid of her fingering herself and moaning master
>jerk off and cum
>ask her age...she’s 13
>...continued to routinely visit the server and pick up young girls

Do you plan on getting physical with them ;) teach them how to swim or play Marco Polo

Ever make them do anything fetishy or kinky like anal, pissing panties, whatever?

My wife seems to have no interest in my dick anymore. I work out, I'm fit, she is getting fat. I've noticed a couple younger girls and have flirted with them. I'm not so good at picking up signals.
But your post gives me hope user. Also, well done you.

good work man, that's the way to stay happy in the marriage.

I've been married way longer, still have a couple flings a year to keep the fires burning. Wives are great partners, terrible lovers.

Everybody poops, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of, but I’m pretty sure she would be fucking pissed if you shit up all her furniture and car. She sounds like a filthy fucking whore piece of trash.

Yeah kinda I would ask them what their fetishes were and some had some really extreme shit for young girl like BDSM, I mostly liked to hear them talk dirty. One of them did do anal for me and it was hot cause I just said “would you at least try?” And the next thing I know I get a vid of her sliding a hairbrush handle into her ass and making whining crying noises. 10/10 would recommend

well knowingly giving others herpes is pretty shitty.
If you hate sex with a condom, then get married to one guy so it doesn't spread

lmao

I don't think they need swimming lessons so offering those would be awkward. I've been in the pool with them having my dick and balls outside of this net in the swimming trunks so it might be visible when they dive, but that's about it

I do something similar, but only with the boys

She was one of my sister's friends, she was really cute. We txtd for a while and I convinced her to let me kiss her sometime. We made out for a while and I started to grab her nice little ass and she was ok with it. Gradually rubbed her pussy through her pants before unzipping them and actually touching it. She didn't resist at all and I slowly put a finger all the way inside. She got pretty wet and enjoyed it

It's okay sweetie, I love you. Keep going

Don't worry. I'm sure both of us will be doing our best to try persuade her to let us take turns on her ass

Same.
I always wanted to be a girl, because there are so many things that are good to exploit. Still, there is what i would call "evil masculinity", all the rapist and others degenerates called "gangsters".
But being a cute girl that has attention and everything else, yeah that shit must be dope.

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You texted a 9 yo? Okay now I call BS

wtf lmao

For fucking real. Yea Forums is complete shit now.

She txtd me 1st, not that it matters really

>be me
>be 21
>came back from night of drinking with friends
>friend takes bar, gave girl whole bar of xanax
>she is beyond gone and had to carry her back to our apartment
>leave her on the bed downstairs
>friend passes out next to her
>roommate invites in mexican neighbors for first time
>roll up blunt
>smoke it with them
>i knock over ashtray and go downstairs to get vaccum
>see one of the mexicans trying to get inside passed out girl
>he had her doggystyle, she was still completely knocked the fuck out
>passed out friend was right next to them still asleep
>"what the fuck are you doing?"
>obviously know what he's doing, I wanted to see what he was gonna say
>wide-eyed looking crazy he speaks spanish back to me
>friend is still passed out right next to them
>walk away and go up stairs and text roommate he's raping her
>roommate sees the text while still smoking with the other mexican neighbors
>"where's your friend? who is he?"
>"Oh that guy? We don't know him, he's retarded, he's crazy"
>everyone goes downstairs and catches him trying to take her but she's total dead weight and drops her
>one of the neighbors drops his beer
>"you rape that girl?"
>cold cocks the fuck out of him
>nigga starts bleeding
>they're screaming spanish and he's scrambling for the door
>friend got told by girl she doesn't remember anything at all
>hear them fuck in the morning
pic related her

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just tell her to wear pads ffs
(or tampons)

I just mean like make up excuses to touch them like say “this is the piper technique” and then grab em. Or play Marco Polo that way when you are the one looking you can touch them when you grab em or purposefully be caught but they touch your dick

you're a beta
change that

A 9yo has a phone? What year was this?

you'll die from dehydration

>She’s now demanding an apology.

lol dude, if anything here is true then it's time to grow a little self esteem and break up with that crazy bitch.

not cool
apologize to him and confess

Well maybe. I guess I don't really have the balls for that. Would be great to cup their butts or something like that though

Muslim?

I’m attracted to my 14yo cousin.
>pic related

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Many 9yos have phones

Go to a trailer park.

If that is her I’m also attracted

Well apologize to her daily and handcraft a shrine for her that you'll use to apologize and pray for her faily

There's something amazing about it.

I'm a married man, straight enough that I have no interest in guys but I love sucking other guys off too.

It's fantastic, the power dynamic is great and the feeling of a cock throbbing in your mouth is amazing. Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's gay as fuck but it doesn't change the fact that it's a blast.

Ehh not really. I know of 12 year olds that more common now a days but 9 year olds? And also she somehow understood what fingering was and he was able to convince her to let him do it over text?

don't do it
i know this is Yea Forums, but don't do it

Blacked out isn't the same as passed out, retard

Do it!

shethinx.com/collections/period-panties

here buy her some underwear. She can freebleed into them and it won't stain your shit anymore. Spin it by saying that she's right and you women should be able to be as natural as possible and should not be ashamed of her body. They even come in thongs so you can express it as her being positive about her asexuality. You're welcome

Being hesitant and convinced to consent is still giving consent

Do nofap instead. You'll bust the biggest, greatest nut ever

Yes, was 2012