How do I make seagulls nest on my property? Those motherfuckers are kinda skittish in my area...

>If you can get to a beach or a nesting area and record it.?
I can I guess. Just would need a better mic.
>Google
But I will try it first.
First they have to discover it somehow.

Why? You wanna get covered in shit? Get a parrot or something

Go to a beach with lots of seagulls and throw some small fish in the air.
They will swarm it and there will be " theres food here" calls .best time to record it.

Oh east london
Is wonderful
Oh east london is wonderful
Its full of tits, fanny and west ham
Oh east london is wonderful.

Fun fact they do that to stomp out earthworms in the ground to eat them. Some of them have clocked on that if they do it around humans who think its funny/cute or whatever they get given food. I've often trained seagulls to catch food and do other tricks because they noticed the praise and more food given if they "perform" well.

As for tips for OP, just leave food on your roof, they'll definitely spot it even as they fly over. They're constantly looking out for food when flying.

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McDonald's French fries. Easy for them to see since they're yellow. Once they eat one fry they'll never fucking leave.

I will try it. Also I will try if I still have allergy on seafood...
What are best candidates besides fish? Shit is kinda extensive to leave outside for lulz.

build sign for seagul

You are making a huge mistake

Why?

Popcorn

This is some good shit, since it's dirt cheap

Seagulls in a city environment will eat just about anything, they've developed stomachs to digest our crap. Bread will be good, but the better the quality of the food the more seagulls you will attract, and more frequently too.

Also this user is right - not only will they make a huge noise and surround your house 24/7 if you do it often enough, they'll also shit everywhere. If theres enough them it could harden and clog your draining system to no end, costing you even more money in the long run.

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bread and french fries user
fill your lawn with bread and french fries

Seagulls are a conspiracy by the bread company to sell more bread. Most people instantly think "bread" or some other common grain food. Don't fall for the thread.

youtube.com/watch?v=SLurkDEbQbw

This will cause mice, not seagulls...
But fries on table might work out.
> not only will they make a huge noise and surround your house 24/7
This is intended purpose.
>if you do it often enough, they'll also shit everywhere.
I know.
> it could harden and clog your draining
I think it is water soluble, so shit should out rather easily. Also it is acidic, which means some lye will help in case it goes really bad.

No, I need just the opposite

The easiest way is to have some sea by your property. They like to land on the shore.

Fuck wrong quote

Have you tried building a nest then stealing eggs from sea cliffs in spring taking them home and incubating on nest then when ickle baby shitehawks are born you can regurgitate partially digested fish down their throats. Repeat until they are full grown. When grown force them to fuck (in a bird way) then harvest the eggs and repeat all above steps? Except the sea cliff thing of course because you now have your own supply of eggs. I think this is a foolproof idea. Hope I helped, user.

Don't listen to anyone. Proceed with your plan...

Sea is within 20 miles, so they are skittish here, and rare (compared to shore)

Nestlings are too fragile and I would probably kill thousand oh them, plus it is illegal.

Ofc I Will

Eggs not nestlings.

Also, a lot of people would be very happy if you killed thousands of them.

Also also, fuck the po lis.

It is difficult to raise a bird from an egg.

youtu.be/WEvsqspmnW4

You lazy fuck. Don't make excuses. Shit don't come for free in this life, user.

they love the stuff

Raising budgies is difficult. Those - I don't know where can I get seagull puke for feeding it.