Ask a paramedic anything semi intelligent

Please let me know what job prevents natural disaster or for instance a seizure

Born this way

wtf would someone sit on boiling water for too long? And yes

It's currently a 2 year college degree program but soon will be 4 year university program

How do you make a nintendo switch?

Skin falls off very easy when exposed to high heat. In a fire it will literally melt off

Research scientist? Kek

Not on the job

How hard to do was your first IV with the ambulance speeding?
Who is the patient you remember the most? From the list that you knew didn't stand a chance

just play the reverse card in Uno when you seen one

I’m a paramedic in Chicago and in 6 months I’m going to go through a critical care class. When I become a critical care paramedic how hard would it be for me to move to Canada if I ever needed to? I know you guys get to do a lot more because of the higher scope of practice but is our critical care the same level as your regular ALS?

OK let me know when they have figured out how to stop an earthquake

we generally try not to do IVs while moving it's just too risky and too hard but they do happen and they're not easy at all.

The patient I remember the most that didn't make it was one that fell in between the subway and the platform and got spin around and as soon as we move the subway he was going to believe it but we were able to have a full conversation and bring the family in before that happened

Not op but if a patient needs and IV I will always get it before we start moving. And for me I once had an Uber driver who was hacked with a machete

I ask this because I heard a story about a cop finding a woman in water that was like that I don’t think she was trying to kill her self just trying to relax in the tub and their was a problem with the water heater also I think she had some sort of medical issue

thank you, user.

I wanted to be a paramedic but it's hard to have empathy for people when you hate the world. How do you cope?

Do iv’s Hurt when you put em in i always cringe when I see em cause it looks pain full

Shit... I never knew someone with that kind of damage could survive some minutes.
Also yes, I don't know what you paramedics are made off, I wouldn't dare to get a needle near a person when an ambulance is moving.
Paramedics deserve mad respect for all the shit they go thru (Not one, but have friends that are)

for us the three levels of paramedics are primary care paramedic followed by Advanced Care paramedic followed by Critical Care paramedic I'm not sure if your qualifications in Chicago with transfer over to critical care but the truth is there's only like eight Critical Care paramedics in Canada so I would assume it would be the equivalent of an advanced care paramedic

Not op, if you are putting in an IV it's usually the least of your concern. And it depends on the person pain management and how good a medic is at doing it. For some it's just discomfort others it hurts a bit.

it's only made me realize that the world is worse than I originally thought but you really have to just realize that you are doing the best you can and without you they would be getting no help at all

they're more uncomfortable than painful we used to practice on each other all the time outside of class time

as much as it was tragic it was pretty interesting the way that the subway spun around their lower body it acted like a tourniquet and cut off blood flow to the damaged areas but there was no way to save them once the weight was lifted they basically unspun and bled out...

I’ve been told vain size Can be a problem as well and that small Vains can make it hard to put em in ( source my mom was a firefighter for years and worked on an ambulance for a bit before that )

we do actually carry multiple size needles for this exact reason we have pediatric children and adult needles but they can be interchanged depending on how hard the start is

Good to know I’m a bit squeamish when it comes to needles I can do shots they don’t bother me but blood work makes me really anxious

Yeah that's a factor but it's not as much as how thick a person is. The fatter the harder it is to find a vein. Also junkies have shit for veins.

remind me not to call you when shit hits the fan

junkies have good veins because they've poked them so many times that the valves are damaged and now they're flat

only 4 veins on the human body have valves.

I don’t know any medical stuff so 911 is better

Sorry, that response was meant for

Uhhh no, all veins have valves. That's what makes them veins

I thought they would be bad because they’ve been poked so much that they are useless

Where do you get that? Do you even know why valves are there in the first place and what happens when a valve fails?

What’s the worse thing you’ve seen

either thinking of heart valves, or trolling, Probably trolling

You work 24-48 hrs on/off type shifts? If so are you banging any coworkers during overnight shifts?

veins definitely have valves you must be thinking of heart valves which are definitely different than vein valves

Attached: 1.1.9 One way vein valve diagram.jpg (750x500, 127K)

If you're wondering about me trolling or not knowing the difference between heart valves or valves on the veins then you're mistaken. Human body only has valves on 4 veins of the body, 2 on each leg. And they are there to prevent the blood from going back

do you rape uncounsious patients?

are there rapists/thieves among your colleges?

Not op. Shifts depend on hospital or place you are working for. For myself it can anything as much as 2 16s and a 8 for "office work" in a week or 3 12s in a "40" hour week. I use 40 hour week in quotations because there is not such things as weekends it's a continuous schedule with days off kind scattered bin between the days you are on. Like I said it all depends on where you work.

What was the worst patient you've dealt with?

What's the training like?

How to British paramedics compare?

What's the scariest call you've had?

What's your favourite type of call?

What's your least favourite type of call?

You made me open an old book of anatomy and you're right, it just happens that legs have more valves. My bad.

Kind of hard with all the other EMS around like fire or police. Not to mention your partners that are with you or the family, neighbor, ect. That called in.

Jesus jumped up fucking Christ. That is horrible.

So when you start and IV and you can flush it without infiltration, yet you can't fully advance the cather all the way, why is that?

Also, when you can flush but not get blood return, why is that?

scielo.br/scielo.php?pid=S1677-54492007000100006&script=sci_arttext&tlng=en

RESULTS: The total number of identified valves was 28 in the right arm and 33 in the left arm

Sounds like my girlfriend’s pussy.

I already said it was my bad, I didn't remember correctly

Don't date roasties.

Nature is fucking amazing.

Sorry, I was looking it up also when you posted your reply

OP just wanted to let you know you're doing a heroes job and seem a nice guy

Where my medic and EMT niggas at! MN reporting in. Why is it that if all the fluids a body can produce old people piss and shit are the absolute worst. Good luck to all you cynical ISTP mofos today.

Do you give strong meds to people in severe pain?

Morphine, fentanyl or versed depending. Ketamine to make psychotic niggers and junkies go night night.

I was in severe pain and all they gave me was laughing gas. Which only made me dizzy. :(

Laughing gas? Where the fuck did you get transported too the dentist office? What country you in.

Comedychanelstan

Canada. I assume they use it when they dont know if the person is on drugs to avoid an overdose

The UK paramedics carry it too.

whats the heaviest thing youve ever seen?

An aircraft carrier

herp

I genuinely need to know why it costs $900 to hitch a ride TO the hospital itself.

trains

derp

if your concerned about the price you clearly don't need an ambulance

This just in. Research scientists have just discovered a way to stop Earth quakes, hurricanes, tornadoes, volcanic eruptions, lightning, flash floods and heat waves. They are working to prevent car crashes, airline accidents, and drownings next.

What made you want to he a paramedic?

any paranormal/unusual stuff related to deaths?

> The patient I remember the most that didn't make it was one that fell in between the subway and the platform and got spin around and as soon as we move the subway he was going to believe it but we were able to have a full conversation and bring the family in before that happened
Is there a typo in here somewhere or am I just retarded? It's not making sense as written

do you sometimes let drug addicts die?

or do you kinda wish you did?

Im unconscious, and have no say in the matter.
And I get the fucking bill 2-3 weeks later.

spoiler: a person can be retroactively concerned about a gigantic expenditure weeks after it is incurred, without their consent. i envy your life, and your lack of experience with this problem. must be nice. i wouldn't know. but i do know this. "Do not Transport" forms are apparently rocket science to the drivers, since when my family asks for them they're NEVER GIVEN EVER WITH 0 EXCEPTIONS. so don't even fucking try it.

Hijacking this thread. Ask a UK paramedic anything

yes there's a typo change believe to bleed out

when you see the same one day after day after save him the last day you kind of lose interest but you never stop doing your job

hey buddy you seem pretty angry I live in Canada and if you need an ambulance you don't pay for it but if you misuse one you pay 450$

fuck you buddy

Thanks now it makes sense. That's wild

whats the worst thing youve ever seen?

Where do you work?

Do you get many stab victims?

Worst call you've had?

Ask yore Congress men why they allow Jews to run the pharmaceutical and medical companies. We just do our jobs all the payment shit is another department.

Are you an expert in treating acid, stabbing and vehicular trauama accidents now?

South england but not London.

Last stabbing was 2 weeks ago. Last "proper" stabbing was 6 months ago.

kid, no helmet vs concrete lamp post. Put the back of his skull in but still conscious. Flown to a major trauma centre. Survived, had part of his skull removed and sewn into his stomach.

How long have you been at the job, what motivated you to be a paramedic.

Largest thing you've seen or pulled out of a rectum?

Do you sometimes make the siren noise?

In the states some of us do.

you will reincarnate as jew sooner or later
everyone does

No, of course not. There’s no such thing as paranormal.

are you allowed to sedate unruly patients?

Do you think it's a good idea for airlines to have Narcan in their onboard first aid kits?

>Jew detected

Do you have bad teeth?

I think that's a terrible idea usually when we Narcan someone they come up swinging

Attached: 1401931091587.jpg (499x499, 32K)

yeah I got a couple cavities

A diet of just cups o' tea and scrumptious crumpets will do that to any teeth.

A log

Now days maybe, seems like a lot of people nowdays always get fucking high before boarding. But there is better options like advanced first aid to the workers. narcan is not a cure. If someone is ODing a BVM mask and oxygen are a better choice so you can breath for them. Narcan is temporary and a lot of the times the junkie wakes up mad that he is not high anymore.

I agree that it's dumb. It's not within the waitress' purview to know when, why and how much to administer shit like that. Nothing good can come of this.

Be careful out there.

this is exactly right

than you ascend to someplace else

Story?

Do people try to get as dangerously high on heroine as possible now that they can have a friend with Narcan to save them. Heard that druggies are dosing higher when they have a friend with narcan

actually what they're doing these days is just taking higher doses mixed with Narcan so that they can get a higher high but the truth is the science behind that doesn't work it

how many times have you hooked up fluids to get rid of a shitty hangover?

6

did you got peepee/poopoo on you ?

Nope never

Junkie logic. Surely it must be true.

Sometimes the have narcan parties. Which is the most retarded thing you can think of so yes. Narcan does not work the way they think it does.

All right guys thanks for all your comments I'm out of here probably be back sometime tomorrow

Attached: ambulance2.jpg (1086x724, 127K)

did it actually work?

answer this you hooker

Peepee couple times there's nursing home by my workplace we get called too.... Working with old people gets old real quick sometimes.

if I empty a can of deodorant spray into my ass, how long until I die?

Depends on your work place protocol. For us it's only if the patient is impeding his own treatment and also being a potential threat to your own safety and others.

thanks. i always wondered

Check out excited delirium vids. That would be one time just about all medics would sedate.

What’s the difference between and ambulance and a garbage truck?

Kek I literally just got done with an online cme about excited delirium 20 minutes ago

One is for people that need help. The garbage truck is for your mother.

Whats the saddest thing you ever experienced?

Attached: 1559321121585.png (361x356, 182K)

Coming home after a fire call, that involved a vehicle rollover and finding out my grandmother died the same time I got paged out for it.

Don’t be so defensive you faggot, I’m a career medic in NYC and I was just funin ya.
The joke is most people think all an ambulance does is drive you to the hospital. They don’t know or give 2 fucks unless it’s them or their family on board

Rekt nerd.

Not OP, but for me it was this one teenage girl we took in almost every week like clockwork for suicide attempts. They were 109% legit, not cries for help. Despite pleading with the ED to keep her longer than the mandatory psych evaluation time they just kept discharging her. Well, the last time we got the call we were delayed because we were transporting some drunk shithead. She was in respiratory arrest for too long by the time we got there and even though we (((got her back))) she was brain dead and they took her off the vent like a week later.
For some reason that always stuck with me:

You an emt or an actual paramedic?

Hey OP planning to take my AEMCA soon any general advice about writing the exam or getting hired?

any good sources for a non-technical person like me who wants to learn the basics of medicine (just the basics, not heart surgery) without attending university?

medic
getting hired is about networking. if you haven't already been working somewhere as an EMT or volunteering then you should start.

Are paramedics nice to each other? If someone makes a mistake, do the other paramedics pile on or are things pretty collegial?

is there an 'unwritten rule' that women should examine other women? are decisions made like that at all? what if the patient requests it?

look at your local city, if there is an option for volunteer or on call EMT or Fire fighter take it. most of the time the city pays for it. Most classes last a couple of months and are done by a Medic or FF instructor. Or just go and ask your local EMS about it. otherwise basic first aid classes just about anywhere.

working with other medics, EMT and even firefighters has been one the best things about the service. you literally become family with them.

i was taken in for being a suicide risk one, almost 8 years ago now.

i absolutely fucking hated it, and why i never tell anyone when i'm feeling suicidal anymore.

so, discharging patients can sometimes be the compassionate thing to do. there are very few people that check themselves in willingly (that's actually willingly, not 'legally willingly')

to expound, 'legally willingly' means 'if you don't check yourself in, i'll just have you committed', which is exactly what my psychiatrist at the time told me.

i don't see psychiatrists anymore.

there is no rule about examining, if you called an ambulance its because you need it. I am going to cut your shirt and expose your chest if I need too. There is no place for embarrassment or modesty in a emergency situation. Now it its that not urgent and a patient requests and if there is someone available then yes. But we are not going to bring another ambulance just because you want a man or a woman.

you know what I absolutely fucking hate, walking in to a place where someone just blew their heads off, hung themselves, ect. I get you feel you don't want to live anymore, but there is truly better options than killing yourself. They are legally commiting you because they want to avoid having your parents or whatever have to call in that the person they care about just killed themselves. If you do feel suicidal you should tell people, and that feeling you hate is embarrassment, guilt and other negative shit that you feeling because you need help. Well I am here to tell you, it's okay and feeling that for a moment is better than being alone then taking your own life.

i'm not angry at you, but it's more complicated than that

honestly one of the most terrifying moments in my life was when i was shown the 'quiet room'. they basically hinted that, if i continued to show signs of suicidality, i would be locked up in that room, in a straight jacket, with padded walls, against my will, by people who would then think they're doing the right thing and tell their friends how much of a hero they are

when the government threatens with sending men that are bigger than you and stronger than you to be imprisoned for the crime of being miserable, it really fucks with your head

just being in the hospital itself made me want to fucking kill myself, it's very clear to me that whole incident did not help my mental health at all

but, hey, now it's 8 years later, i (somehow) have a good job and a nice apartment, so it's not all bad. but i don't have the hospital to thank for that.

it also cost me 25k to be committed 'willingly', by the way. add that to the list of reasons why the medical intervention made everything worse. being committed against your will doesn't cost anything (i don't think), but that means it's public record, and now people can discriminate against you for it. the only way to keep it private is to go 'willingly' and pay out the ass.

about 6 months ago i was driving home and i almost mowed down a crackhead laying in the street. it was raining so i stopped to see if buddy was ok. he was on some drug that had him so geeked he couldnt stay on his feet. so i called an ambulance and they took him to the hospital. would they have sent the crackhead to jail after that or just let him go? im not sure if every hospital district handles these situations the same and before you ask no he was not on booze the mans pupils were dilated as fuck when the EMP shined a flashlight in his face

agree to disagree, I know its very personal for you. But I want you to look at he hospital side of things. It has to be very impersonal for them making the decisions. if you said you want to kill yourself then they let you go and you killed yourself. That opens them up for all kinds of shit. It has happened many times and it continues to happen. People that come in with mental health are in all sorts of places. Some are just sad, some are schizophrenic some are delusional and violent. You as a medical worker never know and have to treat everyone with caution. I'm sorry you felt that they didn't care or wanted to imprison you but being on the other side I know that wasn't the intention.Contrary to popular belief, Nurses, Doctors, Medics, Ect. do care about the people they care for. They wouldn't be there if they didn't.

tldr

good thing I wasnt talking to you fag. waste of dubs.

You squirt?

Blood pressure is dropping rapidly pale white clammy skin what do?

hey buddy whats the fucking point of you
if you live in canada, and have no idea what you're talking about, then why the fuck did you link back to me? you need to stop yourself. its embarrassing.

your thread is fucking trash

if I get another kidney stone will the ER be upset that I took my left over pain meds from last time preemptively?

side note, how good are narcotics past the expiration date?