What is the best way to hide cash ? please be serious. Don`t say up my ass. Give me genius tier ideas...

then shove the entire book up your ass.

Gun safe.

then shove the gun safe up your ass

In a really shit DVD case.

hide it from whom ?

idk.. maybe hide it in a ventilator or something

Hide it in an index fund and make some money

Buy bitcoiners

How about in a shoebox and shove that up your ass

In the box spring then staple the fabric shut again.

When someone tries to steal it shove the person up your ass.

Hide it in the woods dip shit

buy gold

And shove it up your ass

Kek

Computer case

gold, buy a gold bar

Shove the woods up your ass

In a monkey’s ass, then shove the monkey up your ass.

Leave it out in the open. It's such a bad idea that it will fool anyone who tries to steal it. Hiding in plain sight...

Shove gold up your ass

Shove gold bar up your ass

Put it in a hard drive bay

In plain sight shove it up your ass

Shove bay up your ass

shove the open up your ass

in a fake electrical outlet

everyone else is gay and dumb. Local Bitcoins. you are welcome.

also, you could just spend it on hookers and blow

prepaid visa card. Use that to load a bitcoin wallet
put it on a thumb drive

and shove it up your ass

then shove the case up your ass.

I read alot and play MTG
So I hid a bit in books (always check if someone browses your collection)
and I keep a bit in various deck boxes for MTG stuff.

You could also do a google search for 'diversion safes' but since the best ones are of mundane things it's super easy for a roommate to toss out a chunk of cash

>buy bitcoins
>put them on a USB stick
>stick goes up your ass
Best solution imo

Go to university for years and obtain a doctorate in genetics. Then, use the info obtained to clone yourself.

Shove the cash up the clones ass and well, you know the rest..

LOL IDIOT you cant put an outlet up your ass

a drawer with a false bottom is always a grade-a safe. if it is deep enough fucking nobody will notice the 1.5" difference at all

All things are possible thru Jesus.

I'm answering something serious.
damn fucking pervert

Also, double bottom your ass deep

I always take my cash out in small amounts. Day by day take it to a remote location without your fone! Start letting it pile up there. Location here is key. A place no one will be for at least a week. I have a guy that usually finds me a good spot or small business that owes him money. Once all your cash is there it's time to get to work. make one last trip to this location at a random time. Always avoid going at the same time every day and dont drive the same car there or leave from the same place or even dress the same. Organize your Bills, I always start with the smallest. Fold them carefully in half and grab some olive oil because they are going up your ass. One by one is the easiest I find. Your done when all the bills are gone. You can now move your money around in public freely and without suspicion, completely incognito.

Freezer. Inside of a food box. No joke. Or in fake cans in the pantry. Best way to hide stuff is in plain sight but easily overlooked.

hide it in your neighbors mailbox

Wanna step outside bitch?
Ill shove you up my ass

Wait about 100-200 years or until interdimensional travel becomes possible, and search for a version of you that will hide the cash up "your" ass

Shove the fake cans up your can

Contact Goatse, he will help you out

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Shove mailbox up your ass

This is how you hide good weed too

This thread is bonkers

ass wallet

It's extremely risky. Is there any way you can put it into a bank account?

If you want to avoid the bank, hide it in the wall of your house right next to the front door. It will take time to do it, but in the event of a fire or other disaster, it can be recovered quickly and easily. Dry wall can easily be punched through.

Put it in a small fire-proof safe, then cover the safe behind the dry wall.

If you would prefer to access it more often, try a pill bottle among many different pill bottles in a medicine cabinet. Then wrap all of them. A burglar wouldn't usually check the bathroom. Or behind the bathroom mirror, inside the wall itself.

ventilation ducts

and the DVD case is shit because it's been up someone's ass

Prisonwallet

Under floorboards or inside your cold air return

let a nigger eat it, then hide niggerdick in your ass

>Go to a Home Depot/Lowes and purchase a (blue remodel box, f coax cable connector, proper coax plate to fit the box).
>cut out square for box into an interior wall in your room and install the remodel box, to put your cash in.
>cover with the plate with the connector installed. I say use a coax plug because they are rarely used any more unlike outlets or ethernet, where someone might inadvertently try to use.

Save the receipt for all for the items you purchased and shove it up your ass

A burglar also wouldnt check your ass....

Just sayin....

Up the bank managers ass

Yeah this is a good idea too. But make sure the fridge is near an exit or garage door that you can easily run out and back in, in case of a fire.

A friend's father used to hide it under the floorboards in £2000 bundles... he left, about 6 months later my friend turns up on a brand new motorcycle... I asked where did you get the money for that... oh dad did not take all the cash he had under the floorboards......

Wasnt that a movie? Blue something

Put it in a shoe box and shove the shoe box up your ass.

seal cash into plastic bag and then tape in place in a...
>hard drive enclosure
>set top box
>inside drywall
>under the floor board
>inside a car trim panel
>a bank costumer storage box (not safety deposit)
>inside a desktop case

Or up your hot air exhaust

bonus is you get to shove your hand in bank managers ass when you need some dough. So hot.

How long ar eyou looking to hide it?

500years

Blue Streak with Martin Lawrence and Dave Chapelle. It was a big diamond. The whole movie I kept screaming at the tv "Just shove the diamond up your ass stupid!"

I will store it for you

Bout tree fiddy

Than try a dinosaurs ass.

Sounds like an anus

is the best idea, people find it in shit like unless you put it dumb shit like a Nintendo Wii or an Nintendo 64

PS3 is too close to computer they would check that,

Buy Gold Eagles, if USA. Britannia's if UK, Krugerrands, if SA.
Bury them in the garden, or some place a tea leaf would never think of searching. A hard copy of the Democrat manifesto for instance.

Attached: Krug.png (1000x1000, 1.76M)

Fuck you for making me lol

Lets get together and rewatch it and have gaysex afterwards

now that i think of it. black guy martin or something

Or an ass

Back years ago , before most of you were born....there was a lot of cash to be had in the booming cocaine industry. We buried most of it , you can fit 250k worth of 20’s in a five gallon bucket. Live in a mostly rural area , lots of holes in the woods. I’m guessing you could do the same now , but I would def wrap the bucket in R12 insulation though to try beat that ground penetrating radar.

Or you could just shove it up your ass.

This.
Burglars never take the handy, loose, easy to carry, east sellable consoles

Instead of burrying them in the garden.
Shove em up your ass

If you wanna be smart, you could pull up a corner of your carpet, preferably in a closet, find the studs in the floor with a stud finder, get a sawzall and cut a square wooden hole in the floor. Stash money in hole, replace square wood piece, flip carpet back down. If you want security you must put in the effort.

Attached: 2216461-tg16_splatterhouse_2.jpg (956x960, 528K)

Shove console up your ass. I suggest the ps3 and not the xbox.

crypto, but you have to know how to buy it and spend it without associating it to yourself.

Sounds like my kind of party. Let's do some hard drugs to really set the mood.

buy a butt plug, hollow out the core and store the money there because you know what happens next

Than find the stud and let the stud shove it up your ass

Want to hide cash but not up ass??? HA Good luck OP

if you're not doing anything criminal, just get a storage locker and put it in there. that's what i did. And if it is from something illegal, do the same, but put it in someone else's name. just not someone who might steal from you.

Depends on what you mean by "hide". If you're trying to recycle the bills to make it look like it came from a legitimate source then the best way is to open a small LLC and make small purchases from yourself as if it came from a third party. If you're literally just trying to physically hide money then get a GPS and hide that shit under a tree somewhere.

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go to goodwill
get $10 VCR
shove it up your ass
keep money in wallet
shove that up your ass

Store the storage locker in your ass

you're so dumb

then shove that tree somewhere up your ass

Shove the money, with the gps, up ypur ass

unironically the best answer so far

Of course. I thought that goes without saying.

Keeping currency is a sensical as keep dryer lint.
Gold and silver are actual stores of value.
Gold and silver are money.
You're talking about storing currency.
>get a load of this guy
But seriously, gold and silver, in a safe. Not that hard.

Assception

Shove made money up ass

An anus is a safe safe

Eat your money

bitcoin

But that way it will end up in his ass dude

It's the wallet of the human body. You'd have to be retarded NOT to use your ass for storing valuables.

Ypure the blue streak guy arent you

Attached: 20190723_120427.jpg (648x390, 192K)

how much do you want for that wad of cash?
we can make this happen I just need you to work with me here
I know you want a fair price but I have a business to run too
hang on let me call my buddy who's an expert in money

Attached: 199183891.jpg (1200x800, 99K)

>be me
>living in first apartment in 1999
>among other things have all the L Ron Hubbard Mission Earth books on a shelf in order this accounts for like 1.5 feet of shelf space because these are thick ass books and there are ten of them
>building owners' daughter lives next door
>come home from work one day and all my books are turned spine down, pockets on my overcoat in the closet are pulled out etc.
>lots of evidence this bitch rifled through my apartment looking for drugs or cash, the kind of shit you wouldn't / couldn't report because illegal

I only wish it wasn't before I had cameras everywhere 24/7. the owner claimed it never happened because there was a $2 bill out and that wasn't taken, and I'm like, bitch someone looking for a few thousand in cash or cocaine isn't going to bother with a $2 bill

your gonna buy a safe box with combination, you put 100 dollas in that safe box (thats in case some acctually wanna steal it), then you gonna put all of the remains up your ass

OP, you're getting a lot of wise guys in this thread. There's a short video on youtube that will give you the answer you seek. It worked for me, it'll work for you. You're welcome :)

youtube.com/watch?v=f9aM_dT5VMI

Attached: WutAreYouSaying.jpg (500x500, 79K)

1. How much cash we talking?
2. Legally attained?

Tl;dr

Does it end with stuff up an ass?

Buy a safe...

Kek

surely you mean shove the index fund up your ass, shit made money

Use godgiven safe

I always hide my "holy shit I need to run now money" behind the drywall. Find a place you are going to put a bookshelf or a desk cut out a section of dry wall insert waterproof bag. Float and tape the section you cut out then repaint the whole room.

This thread made me cum.

This thread is up OP's ass

Cash and currency are totally different things.
Obtained.

shove the safe up your ass

Get a small wooden boxes that the cash can fit in, put small wooden box with cash into a circular 2 foot mold and pour quick setting concrete around it. set it in the back yard making pathways that Noone will ever fuck with because why would they? Sledge hammer for retrieval.

shove the cum up your ass

One place ive seen ppl hide weed and u could do it with money is inside your vacuum. Just put it inside a Ziploc bag in the compartment that holds all the dirt and nobody would ever find it ciz aint nobody about to vacuum your house for you

Sable coin online

Wrap in in tinfoil and put it in a tupperware container, then in the freezer label it as something nasty as shit and make sure no one cleans the fridge out.

you've never done fucking drywall in your life

also shove the whole room up your ass

Crypto is stupid... how can you shove something up your ass which you can't even hold

Put the tupperware in your ass

My parents smuggled cash abroad by putting it in a book cover so from the side it just looked like pages

In your wallet, then put it up your ass

Thats what they told you. Actually it was up your moms ass.

Actually it was 9 dollars.

Actually your moms a whore

Do what I have done... if you HAVE a lot of money, hire an artist friend to sculpt you a few molds of characters or things you like and once commissioned, sit the artist down and tell them you want to safely store your cash inside them, so if needed a simple hammer smash can open at your discretion. (My artist wanted extra since he know his art might be destroyed) and it’s worth it. He made a small square mold that was able to hold roughly 10,000 in 100 dollar bills (not much, one sculpting is the head of his prior art teacher)

Buy good, fertile land away from major federal centers (cities, army bases etc.). Buy guns and ammo. Buy woodland surrounding the fertile land. Get some trusted people to build a tunnel network under your (and neighboring) lands. Start farming with said trusted friends and if anyone gets on your tits Viet Cong their ass back to 1975.

Combinationlocks can indeed seldomly be cracked when up OP's ass

You can also make a phallus shaped thing and shove it up your ass

then shove the dirty ass fridge up your ass

>be me
>12 at the time
>really want one of those frozen breaded chicken patties
>no idea why just have this fucking mad craving
>figure there might be some in freezer
>dig out entire freezer
>weird cardboard box in the back
>huh maybe in here
>inside box are layers and layers of saran wrap
>wtf
>open layer after layer
>giant ball of dope 8" diameter, packed tight
>put it back
>mad I didn't find any chicken patties

and I shoved that kid sized bowling ball sized wad of marijuana right up my ass

Pro-tip: a safe is the very first place a thief will look for your money. And safe's are indestructible. With the right tool, you can pry a safe open in minutes. A safe will only keep an honest person honest. A safe in your house is not going to stop a thief. Unless we're talking about one of those 4 foot tall gun safes that cost thousands of dollars, but that seems like overkill to keep a wad of cash safe.

I would say in the wall then plaster over. Might have to repaint the whole room but you wouldn't have to worry about it at all

that would work for about zero seconds in 2011

also shove your mom up your ass

Because NOBODY would EVER think to jack the weird sculptures in the rich cunt's house.

Neither when its up your ass

>wake up in the middle of the night
>police lights outside
>"Faggot county sheriffs office we have a search warrant open up"
>muffled sounds of dog barking
>grab your bang out bag
>run out the back door
>come back within a week and retrieve tendy money
>charter a boat to cuba and live life as a tobacco farmer
seems legit

you had it coming op

Attached: 1439833447821.jpg (828x648, 143K)

Both sculptings are currently up my ass. Good luck getting this 10 grand a flash drive with pictures of my sack.

It actually was in 2011 you nigger

and when your artist friend needs a fix

this one got me

Attached: 1512518466768.jpg (525x482, 42K)

shove the tunnel network up your ass

Correct. Especially if they are clay and unimportant figures. You think a thief is gonna see my 8 inch spider man sculpting and say “jackpot”

yeah you must be a fuckin youngin

THATS what i mean.

See OP. It works

THATS WHAT HE SAID YOU ILLETARATE NIGGER

YOUR WHORE MOM SUX OFF NIGGERS FOR 50 CENTS AND SHOVES THAT UP HER LOOSE ASS

Up your ass

shove the money up your ass then shove the plaster up your ass you wind up with a money plaster cast of your ass which you can shove up your ass

50 Cent is a nigger. He raps. God I'd like to shove him up my ass.

no but they're going to smash it for shits and giggles

Whatever you do, don't fucking bury it. This been a recurring retard move with drug lords. The cash is bound to get wet, even if you bury it in a safe and somehow find a way to pull it back out. Alternatively, laundering but legitimately. Little bit in the bank, little invested into bonds, little into here and there. Small investments. You can open up your wall and stack it in there but make sure it's wrapped in something thicker that ceram wrap or else rodents will chew it up. Vents. Air ducts. Stereo systems. In your car tires if you're nimble enough not to slice the whole tire. Got a lot of shoes? Stuff them. That's all I can think off top. Get creative.

I have a method that has worked on numerous occasions, you require a special opaque liquid call ventriol that you can coat the money on to make it seem like paper. Once you have most of the notes covered, shove them all up your fucking asshole.

Fuck off John Wick. Your cement savings idea sucks ass, and lend no appeal to easy recovery of the cash.

Attached: Johnny Dep.jpg (474x332, 25K)

Air right lock box and;
Bury on property
Under floor boards
In drywall
In attic under insulation
Smaller amounts;
Inside picture frames
Empty and wash out and dry opaque containers (moisturiser bottles, shaving gel anything you can hide in plain sight)

Depends on who you're hiding it from really. If I were hiding cash from my room mate I'd hide it in my pc case because she uses a Mac and she's an idiot.

Dear Asspocket users of Yea Forums:

How does one dookey with all of ones treasures currently in the anus.

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Serious advice here, make sure you always have a large enough spot where you won't have to move the money around alot, you risk someone catching on id suggest inside a vent taped to the sides, but my spot which ive used for years is on top of ceiling fans thinly wrap the money in any sort of plastic wrap or tinfoil then tape the bundles down to the top of the ceiling fan blades make sure you use good tape, duck it. Then after one fan fills up move to the next one in the house so on and so forth and the most important part of the "fan trick" is to make sure you shove each and every one of those fucking spinny bois up your loose ass, getting caught is no longer an issue when you have 5 spinny blades of breezy money coated freedom crammed up your shitter

Alls well that ends with tendy money and hotdogging thick Cuban bitches

Jesus, dude. This thread is so reddit. Chain replies saying the same thing over and over and over...

Shove said containers up and in your ass

Have so

It will take a crane to get it out

Put money in a titanium box with a key lock. Weld the box onto the base of a large and heavy titanium safe. Weld the safe onto a titanium sheet that covers the floor of your basement. Then, weld the basement door shut, and stick that basement up your ass. It's pretty simple, isn't it.

hide it in cryptocurrency

Ez way to hide money is in the walls. You’re gonna go to any hardware store and buy a sheet rock cutter, drill, ladder and work gloves. Go to your houses circuit board and cut power to an area where you found a outlet you don’t use. Then, take it the outlet plate, use the cutter to remove electrical components and store money back inside the wall, put the outlet plate back and you’re almost done. Before you screw it in go to your kitchen and get some oil. Grab a ladder, make your way to the roof. Gently lube your ass and insert entire household into your ass.

Just do what crackheads did with speakers. They would replace the power amp or the woofer with rocks and sell it to morons. Get yourself a nice sound system and hide it in the boxes. Average thief doesn’t have time to unmount, unscrew an 18 inch speaker from a wall, especially if he knows nothing about sound equipment. Once your cash is in the box for the 18 inch speaker, sit on it until you swallow it up your asshole

ass your up

three options

1) i'll hold some of it for you

2) underneath a loose floorboard in your house so long as your flatmates aren't home when you hide or access the stash

3) in a false bottom drawer

4) buried in backyard

I can pry a safe open in 5 minutes, using only the tools i store up my ass

>ceram wrap

shove the car tire you nimbly sliced open up your ass

High fiber diet. The poop just oozes out around the valuables. You wanna get that shit runny like diarrhea. Small price to pay for peace of mind my friend.

easy recovery does not make for a good scene

How do girls poop with a tampon in?

and shove your PC up your ass

Buddy, op only said good place to hide not easy retrieval, you should have a bug out bag anyways or some other Oh shit money hidden that's easier to grab. Did John wick hide money in such a way? I still need to watch John wick 2 and 3

get a financial advisor to manage an account for you

if you’re worried about the apocalypse, you can trade the money for bars of some valuable, non-reactive metal and then store that somewhere like a pirate. some places specialize in storing these metals for you.

you could also try getting a safe that’s too heavy to lift off the ground without some kind of special tool.

you don't know how ceiling fans work do you

5) up his ass.
>so six options retard

then shove the crane up your ass

You really need to think outside the box and inside the asshole

Hilarious and original, friend! Have some gold!
Edit: didn't think my generosity would garner this many upvotes. Thank you kind strangers!

God bless you

also, if you’re hiding your money from the govt, you might want to build a safe somewhere into your dwelling so that they’d need a warrant to bust up the place (which is not easy to get) in order to find it.

Then ask the financial advisor to shove some non reactive metal up your ass to store it like a pirate

>ceiling fans

I think you mean spinny bois

In a box of crackers.
Thats where i hide my chocolate from my fat fucking wife.

if you have a carpet floor , lift the carpet up in one of the corners and put it under

You don't need to go through all that. Just use a remodel box between studs.
Take your overly complicated idea and shove it up your ass.

finally, the govt might not be able to inquire about you storing valuable metals with a special storage company unless they get a warrant to do that, which might also be very hard to get. ask a lawyer, if that’s your concern.

>buy a sheet rock cutter
you mean a razor blade
>drill
for what purpose?

also why wouldn't you find an empty bit of drywall and put a old work box in as if it were an outlet?

ffs the number of people who have only imagined doing home improvement shit ITT as if it were some video game minigame challenge up their ass

under your ass, to after that shove the whole carpet in

won't the roommates notice the shit all over the loose board after it's been up OPs ass?

I may have first hand experience with police with warrants coming into your house. They will absolutely bust open your safe if it is sitting out in the open in plain view. Even if you're standing there telling them you have the key for the safe. Or maybe that was just the cock suckers I dealt with that day. And then they leave the mess there for you to clean up.

then shove your upvotes up your ass

Kekd

civil
forfeiture
up
you
ass

Up your homie's ass

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL ROFLCOPTER LMAOOOOOO

Hide it in very obscure places in your house and shove the house up your ass

XD had to upvote this, it's too clever! This thread is GOLD my friends :')

lysol wipes, Yea Forumsro

I think it's time for your nap little guy. You had a big day and I can see you're getting fussy.

then shove your homie up your ass

buy a grave

then shove the grave up your ass

In an envelope taped above the door inside the closet.

It's easy to get to, and it's unlikely anyone will ever look there.

Attached: 54247245-308658503136778-2811173370162758171-n-2.jpg (1080x1080, 150K)

Then bury your ass

You are more cringe than anything in this thread my guy.

Attached: 15132426575.png (478x478, 407K)

then shove the closet up your ass, no one will ever look for a closet there

>And then they leave the mess there for you to clean up.

I got stopped speeding one time, and since I have long hair they asked to search my car. I knew I was clean, so I gave them permission.

They emptied my suitcase out along the side of the road, wind blew it into the street, and they just got in their car and left. All my stuff was filthy, some of it was ruined.

Nobody gets to look at my stuff without a warrant ever again.

Aren't you a treasure.

No it's ironical you dummy XD lolol

I thought it was pretty smart of myself

Oh, sorry. Have we not met the "up your ass" quota to officially be paralleled with reddit?
hey OP,
Up your ass
XD

Buy Adam Sandler's Click on DVD, then stash all the cash inside of it on the left under all the promotional garbage.

Inside picture frames (can only fit a few bills between picture and frame so best to use big ones).

In a beer stien or pan stored on a top shelf.

Inside an empty box of trash bags.

I'm sorry for not fitting in. I'm sorry. So very sorry. I'm sorry, user. My apologies, user. I'm sorry. I'll try harder next time, user.

Genius

shuf it up your ass, and then shuf yourself up your ass and then take the cash out and hide it there.

Best options. Print these out, roll them up and tie them off like a scroll and store them up your ass

>he's still here

I think this is literally autism. Woah.

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canadian border crossing bitch busted my balls for THREE fucking hours over having potassium caps in an unlabled little bottle. Refused to test it for narcotics, refused to understand that if I was using "plain white caps" to smuggle I'd sure as shit put it an unmistakable POTASSIUM bottle, couldn't conceive of using a small bottle for a trip, and in the end I was like
>if you're not going to test it you can throw it in the fucking bin, but give my back the damn bottle those little bottles are hard to come by
canada sucked so hard we turned around and left 30 minutes later and lost all our fruit n veg because of american fucking customs and no fucking receipt, most of which had been grown in our garden.

I'd say never again, but driving to alaska requires going into canada at least once.

also something something up your ass

Hey, can you give me karma pls? I wanna post on r/dankmemes but they won't let me because my karma is low :(

it's a literal, physical form of autism. the kind so intense you could grab it, pick it up even, shove it up your ass autism

Attached: reaction mute.jpg (1503x1049, 132K)

That's why I always keep a copy of pocket guide constitution up my ass when I'm out and about

Haha upvoted!
No but I really need that karma pls

OK. Assumption is a large amount of cash. So equp room with sprinkler system. Put a wall safe in a fairly common place. Put up a false wall in a large room leaving a small room only about 2 ft wide. That false wall should have panels in visible side to disguise doorway. Hide the cash on shelves and in bins in the hidden room. Don't conduct large business in that home. Only remove smaller amounts in multiple trips to a different location and store that in the wall safe. Also keep a small amount of money in the home wall safe. (small in this case is relative.... it has to be an amount that someone forcing you to open the safe will believe that is your "stash" and not go looking for the real hiding place.)

you pulled this bullshit out of your ass didn't you?

well shove it back up there

...

You forgot to type your post. That happens to me sometimes, because I think I might have poop on my fingers from shoving things up my ass.

you should get some nitrile gloves. they're super cheap on amazon or at costco. personally I get costco L and use them all the time, for anything that might be messy. I use them so much in fact that I keep a handy box up my ass at all times, and I hide my money under the gloves in the box before putting it up my ass.

Invest it in thousands of bitcoin miners. Purchase prepaid credit cards and buy them online.

how do you shove a virtual currency miner up your ass though? seems awfully impractical

Imagine being so new that you don't even understand the concept of (you). Congrats, you've baited me into yet another post, you sly dog. You win. And to think that I'm the one being mocked for calling out the reddit faggotry ITT...

>this thread
>not telling him to shove his bait up his ass

bury it in the ground

then shove the ground up your ass

That would imply I promote the chainposting faggotry that's going on in this circlejerk of a thread. I'm not doing that. It's not even remotely clever or funny.

Do NOT do this.

look up
there is a little x on the tab
click it then shove the mouse up your ass

everything else suggested ITT is perfectly fine though

You will see the truth is not the bitcoin miner you shove up your ass but instead it is the bitcoin miner that shoves you up its ass.

Attached: Frog Boi.jpg (348x145, 6K)

Hide the money behind the wallpaper in a corner of the room that gets the least amount of light. To cover up a funny looking wallpaper, try to emulate mold fungus at the corners and the opening with some deluded ink.
Don't shove the room up your ass - that defeats the camouflage.

>if u dont like, u can leave dummy xD
Sigh

however if you shove the wallpaper up your ass you won't have the need for ink to make the corners and opening look like it's covered in shit

No, this thread is absolute aids but my point us that you will 100% get water damage on your bills. Doesn't matter what you bury it in.

well I was planning to bury it in my ass

Cut a square on the wall and line it with metal. Then put cash in a fire resistant box. Lock it. Then put a mirror or portait over wall

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Pic related. 150k emergency cash at my house.

Welp, if this is the current state of shitposting on Yea Forums, I think it's time I moved on to greener grass.

Not even slightly funny.

a real man leaves his cash out in the open... just put it in a jar as a center piece on your table or counter

>fire resistant box
oddly the first time this has been mentioned in this thread

pull the stick out of your ass

PVC piping

in your side hoe's bra

in your foreskin, nobody will ever look there tbh

no one can stand being around you

Kek

Then up your ass

Get a VHS tape and Hollow it out or get like a Pringles can or something

You said cash. I said cash. Wtf is wrong with you?

Take the cash and shove it up the cash's ass then shove the cash's ass up your ass.

the thing is that it will degrade over time, so if youre gonna keep somewhere for years then id reccomend an air tight container buried underground.

up your ass

Get yourself a safe for one, that’s always the easiest and most efficient route, other than that, you could put an 4gang after thought switch box in your wall, stuff the cash in there and get blank switch plates and a cover for it. Someone could probably be suspicious but they wouldnt really be able to tell if anything was in it unless they took it off and unless they are like the fucking fbi or IRS agents they probably aren’t going to take the time to take the cover and all off. And that would give you a good bit of room to put a bit of cash in. Also, making a small compartment in your attic and just putting a latch you can lock up on it isn’t a bad idea, then somebody would really have to want your money and know where to look, especially if you cover it back in insulation (be warned insulation can make you itch like a motherfucker, cover your skin and wear a surgical mask or something to cover your air ways. Itchy throat and lungs isn’t fun.)