Self Love Thread
If you want to learn to like yourself just a little bit more, welcome aboard!
In this thread I will be giving you a series of tasks that will hopefully help you connect to yourself once again.
Growing up, the pressures from others, from society, all the posturing, the costumes, the games... they become so tiring, and so heavy.
Some of my suggestions may seem silly or pointless to you. If youve entered this thread to be picky, you're in the wrong thread!
Who's up first?
Other urls found in this thread:
fucking degenerate nigger fembot kike light yourself on fire and jump into a baby pool full of gasoline
Ready
You need extra self love, but I can't give it to you - only you can user.
Be well
Atta boy.
Go over to the nearest mirror, and look yourself intently in the eyes. Smile, and mean it. while still looking at yourself, say aloud "You are the most important person in my life."
report back on what sort of feelings you felt during this. Was it nice? Uncomfortable? Ridiculous?
Okey mate, i’m corious. I rarely play video games, have job, a lot of friends and i’m good at socialising. Still i want to learn how to like myself more. Any tips?
Imagine you had a partner. The perfect one. More attractive than you can imagine, more wholesome and kind than you feel you deserve.
How would you treat this partner? What sort of things would you do to let them know that you love them?
I didn't feel anything about it. Also, I couldn't say it too loud since my gf would hear it.
Thanks for making me try though
How to cure avoidant personality disorder through self love
youtu.be
Interesting interesting..
Why do you not want your gf to hear you appreciating yourself?
I'll give this a watch
Keep up the good work
This is good shit user. Thank you for sharing this, I'm just a few minutes in but this is the kind of forward honesty that we require in self love.
Thank you for caring about this mission
Funny that you bring it up. 2 months ago i started dating girl that was my perfect woman since i met her 4 years ago. We dated for one month, then she broke up with me as i fucked up and couldn’t deal with all the stress and anxiety after one fight we had. We kept seeing each other and fucking and recently i told her it’s one way or another as i have feelings for her and care about her. She told me she needed time and tommorow i’ll see her to get my answer. I’m pretty positive about it, she even said she will stay for breakfast. So everything is going well, we will probably again be a couple and i started feeling anxious. I think it’s because i’m scared i will lose her again and i know it’s dumb but my depression is acting again. What do to mate?
"Forget the past. The vanished lives of all men are dark with many shames. Human conduct is ever unreliable until man is anchored in the Divine. Everything in future will improve if you are making a spiritual effort now."
Bhagavad Gita
What are your credentials?
you'll never succeed at this stuff if you mix it in with all this hateful clownworld/racist features
You must realize that Life is beautiful because it ends. Compare a plastic flower to a real flower.
The plastic flower lives forever in the shadow of beauty. It can never smell like a flower, or feel like a flower.. It will never wither, and never die.
A real flower is beauty. It was grown from the soil, and feeds insects and plants. It can be eaten by humans, or its scent can fill our lives.
A flower is beautiful because it is alive, and life is beautiful because it is impermanent.
You and your GF will not be together forever. Maybe it will be 1 week, or 35 years. Maybe it will be death that parts your journey, or a journey that brings you apart.
You must decide for yourself if you wish to experience her, even for just a moment.
Is that moment enough for you?
Do not cry because it has ended; smile because it happened. if we live in fear of "what will end next?" we can never truly begin.
Feel that fear inside of yourself. Be with it. Become it's friend. That fear is just as part of you as love is. Allow it to exist, and know that that is okay.
Often times we worry so much about being abandoned because once that person leaves, we feel that we have no love left. If we rely on another person for all of our love, we will remain empty when they pass on.
The cure to loneliness is Self Love.
This makes me want to read it even more.. It's sitting near my reading area right now but I've been so lazy with my literature lately..!
I have no credentials, only experiences
I spent a long time studying myself, Eastern spirituality, and psychedelics. I participate in a lot of community efforts, placemaking, celebrations. I practice Hindu Buddhism every day.
I'm literally just some fucking guy
My target audience is largely defined in the OP image
I was once everything that image describes.
I've been told to love myself. To not seek others. But I've felt so lonely after many years of spending too much by myself. Although I have family, few friends, and lots of lady "friends" they all seem unable to fill a void in me, in my life. So I tried for many years hiking, solo travel, spending a lot of time by myself. And now I feel even lonelier. The only person that gets me is my freaking lover (not even my wife). Hence, I think my life is a mess of emotions.
It is not their responsibility to fill that void - only we are capable of filling ourselves
I did the same thing as you user, tried traveling, exploring the world, meeting new people - but I realized that I wasn't trying to heal, I was trying to run away.
I had so much trouble back home. I can't connect to my father. My brother is slowly killing himself. My friends are dying from drug abuse. My friendships were in shambles, the love of my life had left me...
It wasn't until I began to face the fear within myself that I was able to face the fear with them; together.
We cannot exist in detachment, we must remain connected. To ourselves, to the world, to our loved ones, and to the Divine.
There is a really great video that an user linked above, it's a great watch for this kind of thing!
As always, I recommend exploring other cultures and seeing what they have to say about the things you're feeling. I have found much peace in Eastern teachings.
I highly recommend " Peace is Every Step" by Thich Nhat Hanh. It's a very simple, very practical approach to everyday Harmony in ones self.
why do you dislike those features?
you wouldn't happen to know what it means to be grounded would you user?
After I tried to kill myself with alcohol, Xanax, and a tall window, I've been getting better at humbling myself
I think that's the best I can hope for ^^
Hit me with your best shot
Welcome friend!
Let's start by taking your socks off, if you're wearing any. Touch some things with your feet, as if you would with your hands. Walk around the carpet, or the wooden floor, or tile.
Take note of all the things you begin to feel with your feet. The textures, the warmth or cold, the scratchiness or smoothness.
"When you wear shoes, the whole world becomes covered in leather."
after you've done some feeling around, have a comfy seat and bring your feet up closer to yourself. Feel your feet with your hands. These feet carry you every single day without word or expecting anything in return. These feet provide you with balance, and mobility. These feet are capable of bringing you atop mountains, or diving into the deep ocean. These feet can bring you dancing, or they can bring you self defense.
Your feet, such a simple thing, are so very important!
Give yourself a foot massage user, all the while recognizing how important your feet are to your life. Your feet deserve your love and attention
Very specific, OP, you need to talk?
Sure!
What should we talk about?
Someone clearly has a foot fetish.
I actually don't, I just really love the human body
learning to connect to our bodies is essential in balancing the mind, body, and spirit. They work in tandem, and so too must we
Dirty dirty mind, user..
Interesting that that's the first piece of advice you give here. I had a therapist a couple years ago that gave me similar advice to that, except I was supposed to just say "I love you" or "I forgive myself for everything" in the mirror. Couldn't even do it once. Way harder than it sounds, but it's good advice for someone who claims to not have any credentials
Ive been studying how to love better, how to heal, how to live a more fulfilling life for around 6 years now
sometimes I wish that came with credentials, but at the end of the day, I know that my experiences are more important than an official document ^^
Its very hard to do at first, talking to yourself in the mirror. It's so strange and uncomfy, but the more you do it, the more that shell begins to crack, and light may shine through
Sorry got lost in another thread. Can I request a new one. I'm barefoot 90% of the time already and it's mostly just dirty matted carpet here, and I was injured as a child and as a result am crippled and can't actually reach my feet (being a fatass doesn't help either)
Your reply in itself should give you so many indications of areas that need healing xD
Alright let's try another one!
this technique comes from Vietnamese Buddhism.
As you breathe in and out through your diaphragm, you will repeat a certain phrase. To breathe through your diaphragm, imagine your breath going "Down, and Out" towards your pelvis/pp.
When you breathe in, your lungs and shoulders should not rise, but instead your lower stomach should be expanding. Practice how this feels before you attempt the mantra:
"Breathing in, I understand that I am Love.
Breathing out, I smile."
(make sure to smile!!)
"Breathing in, I feel loved.
Breathing out, I know that this love is me."
After the mantra, touch your face with the gentleness that you would your most precious lover. Imagine that you are looking deep into their eyes. Touch your face in a way that signifies care, and protection.
repeat aloud, "I am capable of loving myself, just as I love others."
let me know how many strange feelings you felt during this
This is really great content, user!
thank you for sharing it with us today ^^
Also as for how I feel.about my feet one of them I would rather just not have. It's an abomination and causes many problems. Often when I look at I I just want to cut it off (along with carving out my many scars) but am too apathetic/too much of a pussy to go through with it.
Honestly my life would greatly improve if I lost my entire right leg and go r prosthetic.
Those scars are proof of your journey user. They are a story that deserves to be worn and told. I have many scars too from trying to kill myself and self Mutilation, but I know that these scars are here for a reason. I know that they were caused by situations that allow me to learn and grow.
I would start with your feet, user. Learn to love those fucking awesome feet until you can't stop appreciating them. Maybe they're not the feet you would have liked, but they are the feet you have, and that is, in itself, perfection
A weakness is a strength lying dormant.
me @ 9th grade wew
Is that breathing thing an actual technique? I do it all the time on my own. I feels physically better than normal breathing but I can only do it manually. Some times when I'm really down I do that, and focusing on my breathing helps chase away some of the quieter thoughts (but I'm still stuck with the loud ones)
That aside I can't bring myself to say the words user. It's not embarrassment or anything as I'm completely alone atm. I just can't say them out loud. This is actually harder than I thought.
I CAN'T FAP TO THIS!
Oh fuck off Bianca!
>proof of your journey
What journey are they proof of? I was 10 months old when it happen. I didn't learn anything but suffering from these scars. Literally the one pro is at least it filters out shallow friends, but I could have just been ugly without the scars.
Just in case you respond I gotta go take care of some animals hopefully will be back before thread expires.
Bliss thread OP
I don't really hate myself, but what extra actions could I do to ensure I don't fall into the self-hate void? I already exercise regularly, talk to some friends from time to time and meditate occasionally
Crack the shell!
You can do it user!
If you do it this once, you never have to do it again.
And yes, that is called rhythmic breathing, or centering your breath. Breath is life, and breathing through our diaphragm allows for more full and complete breaths.
Breathing in this way, I can safely say, is the greatest tool that protects my life from anxiety, depression, and fear.
So sorry!
I'm Leyf not Bianca
You've found one pro - now find the rest.
You don't have to remember it to learn from it. Hating your foot will bring you hatred. Simple as that
Loving your foot will bring you love. Which do you prefer?
just keep practicing user, you're doing excellently ^^
It becomes so easy after a while. The hard part is getting started. If you can make an effort to practice self love every day, you'll never again forget to.
Somebody fucking help me, I'm fucking deteriorating.
>be me, 21m about a year ago or more
>used to be a dirty, degenerate manwhore with other girl every month or two weeks
>substance abuse is strong in this one
>be a decent writer
>get less degenerate
>start eating better and working out
>no more amphetamines, no more weed, maybe one beer or a glass of wine a day
>work harder, find a good job that lets me stand on my own two feet without any help from parents
>lose the job but find an even better one
>start flirting with girls but with an intention of something more solid, something real
>even started doing it one girl at a time
>time travel back to now
>suddenly it seems that I'm no longer a pussy magnet
>whatever, started meeting new people
>still not working
>lose the gift of writing good stories
>every girl now seems to be a stupid whore
>get depressed as hell
>get more into buddhism, always was a fan of this philosophy
>kinda works
>read more marcus aurelius and stoicics overall
>life gets worse and I see that the true way was to be a drunk misogynist
>the only happy way of life was the life that led me to ruin
>for the past two weeks I've been at it again, drinking etc.
>treated two girls like stupid bags of shit and even fucked one half a week ago in a fucking train toilet because why the fuck not
>was really close to taking speed two days ago but had to babysit my cousin
The worst thing is that I know it kinda makes me happy but I know it's unhealthy as fuck and will lead me to nowhere in life. Somebody give me some good advice.
>which do you prefer
Honestly at this point I don't know. I haven't experienced platonic love in a really long time and only romantically to one person in the past decade.
Maybe I'm just not ready for self love, and rather need to focus on self improvement first. Some times I imagine a future in which I physically and mentally improved myself, and in that future I am happy. I've gone so far as to make the conscious decision to reject romantic love from others until I can be happy with myself (if I wouldn't be in a relationship with me why would I put someone else through that).
I thought I came in here with an open mind but I guess I'm resisting loving myself. Sorry if it ended up wasting your time you're a cool user and thanks for at least trying.
Years ago getting off bipolar/adhd meds I learned to love myself
I also learned how to love all people, even my enemies and the worst possible people you can think of, I love them. I’m not religious just spiritual.
I realized the most important part of learning to do that was loving yourself unconditionally. Repeat it to yourself. You don’t need a reason. Why not love yourself? You don’t need a reason. True love persists no matter what. We are all completely redeemable. You don’t need a reason to love yourself, so why not? Accept yourself as you are, and then if you want change.
You guys might like the Thiaoouba Prophecy it’s a really interesting book and you can find it online.
Self Sabotage.
You don't feel you deserve good things, so you actively do things to ruin and degrade yourself. It's a subconscious action deep, deep within yourself.
I only started to see my sabotage about one month ago. Once I looked back in it all, it made so much sense.
Do you feel you deserve happiness?
fuck yeah incredible taste in fashion
You're very wise user. You cannot love another until you love yourself. You cannot give from an empty vessel
I believe in you.
I love you.
that one about internet "friends" cut me real deep
jotting that book down. Thank you user, and I am proud of you!
Me too buddy. Me too.
Took me 4 years to realize that they actually hated me.
I'm not the user you're replying to, but self sabotage is a serious problem that people really overlook. It's currently affecting college for me. I have to write an essay tonight explaining why I deserve to keep my financial aid, despite failing most of my classes. It's so hard to get myself even started on that when I just feel like all I actually deserve is an early grave.
If anyone actually reads this, don't underestimate the power of self love. If I had practiced it early in my life, I probably would have graduated from the first college I went to without a hitch, saved myself a ton of money, and I wouldn't still be living with my parents at 25 years old.
I stupidly had a discord "gf" for a while thinking we could have a fruitful relationship online, still hurt when we broke up though. I miss her good mornings and good nights
You can do it user. Give yourself 5 minutes to write, then take a break for however long you feel you need to. Then do 5 more minutes. this helps me to finish songs and projects a LOT
(cuz chances are, once you start, you'll work longer than 5 minutes!)
good on you for recognizing both self love, and sabotage.
That bond will never be meaningless user. It's okay to smile about the good times you shared together. No moment is wasted.
I'm actually really depressed. I don't know what to do. Any thought? I've been so fucking anxious, annoyed, and just feel bad.
"Depression is the body begging us to change."
Change everything you can think of user. Start small, and get bigger. The things you're doing each and every day are clearly not working for you. The world is vast, and vibrant, and worth exploring.
I was depressed enough to try and kill myself, but I failed. I survived with an 81% loss of motion in my back and shoulders.
What helped me the most, was to leave that part of me behind, and become as a caterpillar does in the caccoon; We have to transform!
Do something you've never done before, then keep doing that. Read something you never would. Go to an event you'd never consider going to.
Shatter your self created prison. You made this cage, and you made the key.
Only you can decide to unlock it
Self sabotage guy here. Yeah. That's why I have this dilemma.
If you feel you deserve happiness, then you will take action to support your happiness
If you're not supporting yourself, it's because you don't think you're worth supporting
You can learn to see the light within yourself. It doesn't change in a day, it takes patience, and practice.
you have made me realize some things i need to change (in a positive way) thank you
And I love you buddy
agreed until saying racism and sexism are bad. cope nigger
How do I gain the confidence to consider myself worth of supporting then?
Fucking please do me.
I hope that you someday realize
I'm not sure what gives you confidence :P
but you probably know a thing or two!
I personally enjoy training disciplines. Cleaning, combat, archery, learning an instrument, climbing rocks. These physically and mentally challenged tasks create worth within us.
Well, my friends always said that I'm mentally challenged overall.
bump, keep this thread alive
random gif attached
i've felt empty and numb since 6th grade, i just failed an entire grade level, i have 0 real friends left, my depersonalization is getting worse daily and i'm getting closer and closer to just shutting down.
Oh man here goes nothing,
So I’m a college engineering student who decided to take summer classes. I have a gf of 8 months who I love very dearly and she is perfect in every way (medical school, pretty, good sense of humor). However we don’t have PIV sex, but we do everything else (she is very religious). I used to be quite a man whore and honestly not having sex doesn’t bother me that much. Here’s where it gets bad.
Ever since this one lecture in AP psychology where we talked about what happens to the brain when we die and other shit like that, I’ve gotten weird “anxiety attacks” but really I just feel disconnected from my own body. It happens at random times in random places and since I took classes for basically one full calendar year, I feel mentally drained.
I feel like I’m a hypochondriac and that something like a brain aneurysm will kill me at any second which doesn’t help the “anxiety attacks”. I’m not like super depressed but I just feel like empty. Is it cause I’m in college or what? Thank you.
hey guys OP here, I've got some irl stuff that needs my attention, I'll respond if this thread stays alive
sorry !!
>I just feel disconnected from my own body
This is good, you are feeling YOU. Your body is a corpse you're currently carrying around.
bump
Degenerate.
Are you my stalker?
I don't know if this is a healthy way to look at this issue, but that's just my opinion
Why yes.. yes I am!
No, but I've been stalked!
Have you read through this thread?
I'm not sure there's much more I can say on the topic of hopelessness
It's gotta be filled with love. You have an absence of love. Read the stuff up above ya first
It very might be that you are over exerting yourself user. College is an incredibly challenging system, and one that the human brain isn't exactly adapted for. College being an expectation is a recent requirement in Western Civilization.
As for the fear of certain death, I recommend learning the opposite of that sooner than later. A life lived in fear is not a life at all.
If death is your concern, I recommend some Eastern philosophy (as I usually do..) because their view of death is logical, whereas the Western view of death is "holy fuck what a bad thing let's avoid this forever"
up above, I have an analogy about a plastic flower vs a real one. The real flower will always be more beautiful because it can die, and will die, and must die.
We all must die, just as we all must live! Up needs down. Black needs white. Sad needs Happy.
Life needs death.
I've reached a point where nothing brings me joy anymore, just the same shitty routine in a shitty job and drink myself to sleep every night
"If nothing changes, nothing changes"
It's time for you make a change in the way you live your life user, best of luck
Well I already started my self improvement journey but I can always use advice lol so
I guess I'm mainly asking because I kinda feel like my friends are holding me back since I always wanna go do something active/productive they don't really want to lol or they just kinda only give it 40 50% when I'm actually trying ...
I kinda think it's because I'm changing and im turning ambitious while they are all stuck in the hole
damn I've never heard that before, that's a good saying
Perfect response to depression, too
That is a very very very common thing that happens when people begin to self reflect. I hear responses like this all the time, and it happened to me, too.
You've gotta choose friends that make you want to be alive. That challenge you, that support your growth. You want friends that water you with life. I made a mistake of trying to remain friends with people for 4 years. I think it was only because once, long ago, we were "sorta" friends. We all tried to grow closer, but in reality, were only being driven further away
They couldn't accept my change, and I had to make a decision for myself. Do I want to remain with people who mock and degrade me, and think my ideas and beliefs are a game?
No, not at all.
If your friends aren't willing to grow with you, then it's okay to part ways. it doesn't mean you hate them, or dislike them, or anything. You have energy, and it is a resource. You cannot expend energy on friends if they're unable to give it back.
This was one of the harder decisions in my life, so I truly wish the best for you
My life changed when I got this job, but it was still going downhill before
The only good thing is that my sleep scheudle and body shape have improved
For sure that getting this job was a step foward for you to live a better life, but i think that it's clear that your life is not set up in a way that you want to live it. So maybe you could try other ways to live, other jobs, other relationships, stuff like that. But i get it that we have a resistance to change, it's unconfortable, specially if it means letting go of something that was once beneficial to you, but these things can get obsolete too
It really is good, i heard it from Craig Ferguson when he was at Bobby Lee's podcast, the context that he used was with sobriety. Was very impactful to me
I have existential dread please help
meh I could use some long lasting dopamine