Wizard here. Has anyone here had sex before? What's it like?

Wizard here. Has anyone here had sex before? What's it like?

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i dunno, post more pics of her.

imagine feeling really happy for about 5 seconds and going back to where you are now

you are missing a bit but its kinda a grass is greener on the other side syndrome

now if you dont mind my kid woke up

I haven't, but I heard its ok

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awkward and shameful, then it gets more fun

Got a few more. What's it like to have sex? I need to know.

If you think the grass is greener, let's trade lives. You can be a kissless virgin and I'll raise your kid and fuck your wife.

it kinda feels like when you put a finger in your ass, but in reverse.

It's good when you got that primal urge in you. Other than that just cranking one out and getting back to the vidya is superior.

Let’s be honest and let’s say 3 seconds.
And not happy, but empty, as in all the things are getting far, far away, too far to be concerned about anything. Anything else, I mean.

It depends on who you do it with, I only ever had sex with one girl and she was a virgin so every time I stuck it in (even if it was just a tip) she would freak out and tell me to pull out... it sucked

get a Tenga, it feels like that, only warmer.

I would do very,very dirty things with this monkey headed beauty. Bodily fluids heavily involved.

I had a girl spend the night at my place a couple of nights ago but i chickened out of sex.

but with a tenga, you last longer.

So like kinda like putting my ass in my finger? That sounds complicated.
Vidya is getting tiresome. It can't make up for my loneliness.

I wish, wife is always too pregnant to have sex, she promises that after this kid we can finally have sex for the first time.

> eve.jpg

KEK

Damn, that's a shame. Was she trying to keep her hymen for a better man, or what?
So if I heat it up, it feels exactly like sex?

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uuuuh, wut?

Story time? What happened? Was sex ever on the table? Why didn't it happen?

> I'll raise your kid and fuck your wife.
> he actually thinks married couples have sex after a few years of marriage
wew lad ... I'm afraid I have some bad news for you. You probably have more sex as a kissless virgin than the average married husband.

At best, I'd have exactly as much sex as the average married husband. You can't have less than zero.

i think what you're alluding to is what it feels like to make love to someone you really enjoy being around and who enjoys your company as well. the best answer i could probably give is like feeling you're not alone in this world and those embraces of touching, kissing and having each other intertwined sexually only solidifies a feeling that someone loves you and cares to know you exist with all your faults and strengths they are here with you in this moment even if it is only fickle/fleeting/briefly.

> he thinks teh wife have sex again after getting the seed they wanted
sorry user, you have 50 years of sexless hell ahead of you, only liberated by dying from old age.

Welcome to your prison with no bars.

bros think the snappening was good

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correct

yeah, dont microwave it, or you'll burn your nuts off, just like put it in a warm bath for like 10 minutes. the only dif is you're still going to be jerking off instead of thrusting into it, but dickfeel, its close enough.

Sex is one of the most overrated things in life. That being said, sex lies squarely in the would rather have than not pile. Derp, sex > no sex. Duhhh, but there's levels to this. For someone getting sex, sex is an after thought in lots of situations. Not a priority and not important enough sometimes. Even sex with beautiful girls becomes can be an after thought and whatever. For someone not getting sex, sex is one of their most sought after activities. It's only natural.

We were like 15 (I’m 18 now) she was a small, 4’11, Christian white girl who was probably only with me because of the bad boy appeal (her parents hated me)

We started dating at around age 13, so it took over 2 years for me to get in her pants. But when we finally did it, it was a massive disappointment. I still liked it though as I thought I was in love with her at the time and such

I never had sex with any other girl after that, not because I don’t want to but I’m kinda fucking ugly nowadays, I definitely peaked back in my mid teens

Funny thing is, she’s a massive ho now who has probably slept with well over a dozen guys

It’s great. The best part is feeling another person there, and especially if it’s a really hot girl, you just feel awesome the whole time. The actual O isn’t much better than jerking it (which is why these losers are saying it’s not all that) but the feeling before, during, and after is euphoric. Like after you jerk one out, you’re kinda ashamed but if you bang a hot chick you feel like the top of the world.

Vag feels nice, and it’s great to “play” with someone as they play back with you. Sorry bro, you’re missing out. I’d recommend hitting the gym and getting some confidence if you want to know why fucking WARS were fought over pussy.

>feeling you're not alone in this world and those embraces of touching, kissing and having each other intertwined sexually only solidifies a feeling that someone loves you
until she doesn't, rinse and repeat

Lol virgin...

Bad boy
Took over 2 years to get in her pants

Lol virgin...

overrated, just fulfiling urge

ok post more now

>now if you dont mind my kid woke up
Parent here. You poor bastard!

Physically, pussy feels like the spot under your tongue suctioned on to your dick. Mentally its barely better than jacking off if its with a whore, its like the greatest high of your life if its with someone you are in love with.

Damn, that sounds amazing. Does it really make you feel not alone in this world? I can't even imagine how that would feel. I sure hope by some miracle I can experience that one day.
Well and then at the end there's the cleaning routine of shame, where you wonder why you do such dirty things.

I have heard of this "the sex". The ancient texts speak of it.

Does it involve holding of the hands?

indeed, user...sometimes/often its the most difficult thing in the world to rinse and repeat then you find yourself in the depths of a never ending hell.

This man knows.

I'm just speaking from my experiences. I've had sex plenty of times with many women. I know a lot of people would agree with me. Only a virgin like you would think sex is the greatest thing in the world.

>fuck your wife.
Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Being real I wasn’t really a bad boy, she just thought of me as such. I’m from the country so it’s kinda dry out here

Lol ok bro, keep jerking off and telling yourself that

just dont nut in it, nut on the wall like the rest of us.

married 9 years

granted we have much less sex having a 7 year old and baby but we still do it every week or every other week.. and we fuck around still, making out, touching each other and teasing each other dry humping in public when no one's looking

kek ... user knows the living hell that is.

remember, for every woman out there, there is a man sick of her shit.

Thats tantruc sex. Involves not moving, sitting in lotus with her in your lap, and staring at each other while your dick is inside her. You do this day after day until u can orgasm the entire time, cumming over and over without even moving, becoming one consciousness. Many believe tantric sex is one of many paths to enlightenment

Damn, hope you find someone else. You're still young, so your life isn't ruined like mine is.
I don't think I'm going to be able to fight a war over it. Normal people seem to manage to have sex with some regularity though. How the fuck do they make it look so easy? To me, it seems almost impossible.

Hit the gym and get some confidence you beta male

what other user is hinting at, is that the first few times of sex is indeed mind blowing. However, that high is never really repeated again, even with a change of partner.

Kinda like most drugs.

>she’s a massive ho now who has probably slept with well over a dozen guys
hate to break it to you, any woman who isn't married over the age of 25 has slept with at least a dozen men. need to learn to get over it, the chick you'll eventually marry will have at least a dozen notches on her belt

lel

It's okay to be a virgin. It's not the end of the world. Maybe you'll get to feel what it feels like to know sex isn't everything when you finally get laid often. You'd probably be a virgin faggot for life though :(.

You may need to get your testosterone checked

Only thing that’s as bad as being a virgin is not being one but nobody believes you

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That's easy to say if you get it regularly. From my perspective as someone who has access to clean drinking water, water is overrated. But if you're dying of thirst, water is the most important thing in the world.
Sure.
Damn, my dick doesn't quite reach that far, so I guess I won't ever understand how that feels.

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>At best, I'd have exactly as much sex as the average married husband. You can't have less than zero.
But she can kick you in the testicles a lot more than zero...

No need to get mad bro, just pointing out that guys who say shit like this (sex isn’t all that) probably aren’t getting laid that much. Same with people who say (money isn’t everything)... most likely poor.

You talk like a virgin you faggot.

You know i explicitly try to remember the feeling around my penis, i usually fail. Think a really warm velvet glove.

> one of themany paths to enlightenment
or death by massive protein deprivation

Calm down beta boi

>no bars
Aw nuts. I thought the only answer was booze.

If nobody's looking, what's the point?

You're talking to me from the other side of the fence you virgin faggot. I clearly said i would rather be having sex than not have sex. I would also say I would rather be rich than no be rich.

Faggot

Moar pics of this chick?

I used to be in good shape in my mid 20s, and it didn't help me find a woman at all. Confidence comes with success in a given area. I'm confident in areas of my life where I have proven my ability to succeed, but when it comes to women, I have zero instances of even the slightest bit of success, so therefore I have zero confidence.

The virgin calling others beta boi. LOL fucking faggot

well, as you slip the penis into her anus, theres a gradual leakage of her feces across your groin. The combined smell of her vaginal discharge and anal discharge electrifies the dank basement of your house, as you work the cock base to the very depths of her pelvis floor.

As she screams in painal extassi, she shudders as shit and piss spray across the room, before she crawls back into a fetal position.

Welcome to Love.

>Does it involve holding of the hands?
Sort of. You hold your hand with your penis. You also think about girls that hate you, and you feel lonely and sad after..

My friend is a wizard and I wanna swipe that away from him soooo badly

That's closer than any woman currently gets to my testicles. Beggars can't be choosers.

You know sometimes when you jerk it you spit on your hands and for the first 5 - 10 strokes it feels pretty nice and lubed before it dries from friction and all....
Vagina's dont dry from friction, they keep it flowing actually.

So I don't know how soft your palms are, but thereś an indication for you.

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Man you are wise as papa smurf

As in take his virginity? Do it. It will cure his illness and significantly improve his life.

God i fucking hate virgins. Disgusting fucking losers to be honest. Go fucking die, no one wants you.

big if true

hmmm ... this "the sex" sounds terrible. Why would anyone seek it out?

That does sound pretty nice. My hands are a poor substitute.
That's not very nice. What did I ever do to you?

Bogus. Depends on the specimen. My wife is a bit dry, even when she is turned on so much that she literally tries to do the deepthroat and her clit goes double sized. My previous fuckaboo bitch was dripping as I got her nipples pinched. Varies.

so, if I fucked a sump pump full of oil, the feeling would be similar?

why aren't people having sex with their car then?

No shit, I wasted my prime sexual years being married to a bitch who would never have sex. When we first met, we fucked like rabbits multiple times a day, but eventually I practically had to force her to get anything even once a year.

some people do fuck their cars

>her clit goes double sized
so it goes super saiyan clit? (SSC)

Are there levels to this shit? Like, can she go SSC7 like Brolly and blow out a clit like its puffer fish?

we got drunk and I went to bed, she messaged me later and said she wanted to have sex. so yeah

Sounds like you still have that option available. Just don't get so drunk next time.

can confirm

they actually look at you life you disgust them, even if you are fit / workingout. Its just natures way of women easily moving from cock to cock.

Marriage goes against everything women are. They are designed to extract the seed and move on.

Why does sex dry up so much in marriage? Does she just lose interest in sex, or more lose interested in sex with the same person?

you should hear the sound of muh dik popping out of the exhaust of my corvette.

It got a neat hollowing plunk sound. I hear they tune the exhaust pipe to perfect that sound at the car factory.

Well it's really good. Relationships are different though. You have sex much more than you would if you were single, but it honestly gets boring sometimes. Like I'm constantly looking at other women because I just want to fuck anyone who isn't my girlfriend sometimes. Still love her, and I love fucking her, but having something else is a fruit I wish I could savor.

because women are not designed to hang around after extraction of seed, without you repeatedly jumping the through the hoop of suitability endlessly.

Sex is only provided while you are considered adequate. Such a thing is impossible without her going from man to man to man.

This is secret that married men do not tell unmarried men, to trap them in the institution: the test of suitability does not end once you hoop jumped sufficiently to be marriagable. You have meet suitability requirements for their monkeybrain instinctively hates you and moves onto the next dik.

welcome to female behaviour.

Yup, and as she gets licked and fingered, her pussy hair gots from black to blonde, after some minor changes to pink-purple, that is the SGP (saiyan god pussy) level, then at last it goes to somewhat light blue. Minor problem is the light effect, neighbors think we have a disco party. The whirling wind can be confused with a bold fart, but lasts too long. Squirt comes a bit hard, she has to scream kame hame pee, but then it fucks up the furniture and breaks the walls. Bedroom wall fucking looks like a mosquito net. All in all: sex is great with her, but from the warmup to orgasm it takes several days until something happens, and halfway a bald dwarf dies.

Yeah but the idea is still there.
It's basically the softest part of the skin with the simpelest form of lubrication.

Also, a major mindfuck for myself was that the sensation actually comes from the waist area.
Jerking it has always been more of a "im gonna come so im gripping it tighter" kinda thing.

But when you fuck, it feels more like you're cumming while edging it, because you can't control how tight it is.
Well at first at least.

When you have sex with the same person more than once you can become adjusted so that you can start the "finishing process" when she's getting tighter because she's cumming herself.

tldr: it's different, and it's really nice, but so is having full control when you spank it. Best is to have both options. A woman to spank and a shower to wank. Because trust me, it ain't stopping when you start fucking.

>You have sex much more than you would if you were single,
except when you move in. There are research papers that indicate this is the single biggest killer of romantic sex for partners, and its a bigger turn off for women. They say they want it (feelings-driven biology speaking) but then they hate it (again, feelings-driven biology speaking). There is no logic to it, which is why its pointless to find a solution other than pump and dump.

buy a fleshlight. its similar

kek

possibly, if the entrance can pe flexible and fleshy, lukewarm inside and maybe pulsating from the inside.

So to married men and women just pretend to be happy to avoid looking miserable in front of their peers? Most married people I know seem relatively happy, but I don't inquire about their sex lives.
>she's getting tighter because she's cumming herself
That does sound pretty amazing. That's one of the key things I'm missing from just jerking. I want someone to share the experience.

If it’s with someone you like, it’s great. I’ve been with 3 girls over the last year and honestly the only “good” sex was with the second, who I still miss for more than just the sex.

My turn to ask a question. Why are you a wizard? Hygiene? Social skills? Appearance?

This description makes me moist.
I'd bust a nut over your future trunks if you know what i mean. ;)

no it's not you fuckin liar.

For instance, the smell of fleshlights are fuckin god awful. Also you better have some good lube, fleshlights are dry.

Plus, when you finish pumping into a woman you don't have to clean her out thoroughly.

Just get a whore, and be done with it fgt.

>So to married men and women just pretend to be happy to avoid looking miserable in front of their peers? Most married people I know seem relatively happy, but I don't inquire about their sex lives.
Correct. It is window dressing. Its to mask hating each other.

Coffey?

I have no clue how to initiate a sexual relationship. And since men are required to be the initiators in modern society, I've never had a chance. There seems to be an impossibly complex set of unwritten rules for how relationships work that normal people just instinctively understand, but for me it would probably take decades of study to even reach novice level.

I've considered this many times. I'm really looking for the connection that other anons have described here. That won't exist with a whore.

>I have no clue how to initiate a sexual relationship.
you don't. The secret is only women are allowed to initiate. This is an extension of the whole "you are become attractive by not trying".

The women know who they are going to fuck within 5 seconds of going into a room (remember, they choose when they are going to fuck, you don't). This is why men are biologically designed to ejac quickly, because prehistorically the women only give a short window to availability, after which they decided you are no longer suitable.

All you can do is put it out there, and see who chooses you. Once they initiate, then you can proceed. Otherwise they label you a rapist and creep. The whole fantasy that women like a proactive initiating man only exists in their fantasies: otherwise rapists would be the biggest turn on to them.

Maybe try dating before going straight to sex? Let her initiate if you don’t know how. Honestly, my first time I didn’t initiate. It happens when it happens. Just put yourself out there and don’t be creepy

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quick advice
think about all the things you want in a girl generally speaking, like beautyful body, nice hair, smells good, intelligent, timid, willing, interesting, active, likes movies, music, cuddle... then work on becoming that type of person. workout, go on a cinema club, buy fancy colognes etc...
girls like the one you described will humt your dick in no time, casual chatting and advancement is waay easier when there are grounds of empathy.

i had sex with my gf, but i don't really like it. my ass got really sore and it hurt a lot.

It's really not worth the psychological torment

>There seems to be an impossibly complex set of unwritten rules
because women make them up on the fly and are always different.

this is why you have no say in whether you are getting sex. Only they decide once you meet suitability.

the study you seek is pointless. you have to go with the flow.

Its like jerkimg off with sandpaper. It actually feels good. You should try it.

This sounds great, but how does one avoid complications from prolonged priapism?

Femanon here. I've had sex a fair few times (less than 20). A lot of the time I just do it for the validation, to see if I can get that hot guy in the club or bar or from class to fuck me. I see myself as a prize so if the best looking guy wants me then I must certainly be better than the other girls. It's not too exciting unless it's with a significant other but it's been a while since I had a boyfriend.

To both these reactions: every person differes.

Marriage is about communicating. Fuck, any relationship is about that. Marriage is just a label that makes it socially harder to seperate from eachother.
If 2 people want to be together, they'll find a way. They'll also find things to dislike about eachother if they're done trying.

The other thing is that some women cum like shrek out of a shitcabin in a 2018 meme compilation video and other women are happy to actually orgasm once every full moon.

It definetely depends on the combination of people.

Are you retarded? Or have you too never felt the touch of a woman before?

Anyone can initiate but but don’t do something retarded like grab her ass out of nowhere

>don’t be creepy
which means dont initiate ever and dont be unattactive.

simply speaking you have no say in it

If that's really true, I guess I'll just keep waiting until I die a kissless virgin. Women never initiate anything with me.
I'd prefer to date first. No woman wants to date me either. But again, waiting for her to initiate just means I'm guaranteed to die alone, since no woman will initiate with me.

lel

try getting her to peg you up the urethra

that might fix it

Are you stupid? Fuck a non virgin you retard.

oof

mwahhahahahahaha

*muscle tissue and mucuos. (sry had to google it, eng is not my mother tongue)

You know user my beard starts to be a bit grey, and I discovered some simple truths to myself. One is this, behold: while fucking has more adventure in it, jerking if is still better.

Alas, the downward spiral phase of that precious few moments of male orgasm comes with the “done” feeling - but via fucking it is never so totally complete, there is always an urge to put it in again, even if, errr, your dick behaves like the nose of squidward. Doesn’t matter if pussy or stinkhole. The most accurate, the closest in terms of quality is blowjob, imho.

I can’t say my babe denies puss or any other input peripheral stuff, but jerking off is still on the menu.

Sorry for the long barf.

I don't have the luxury of wanting a specific list of things out of a potential partner. I just want someone who's willing to be with me.
I've been going with the flow for 33 years. How much longer do I need to wait?

correct. see, women really onlyl see you as a lump of meat. This way they verify their value socially.

they don't actually care what they think of you, they only care about what their peergroup thinks of you. Otherwise, you are just meat for disposal

simple as that. so, forget the whole finding someone for you, because it doesnt exist and is laugable.

Its new so you get more excited.

But you can get the same effect just not jerking off for 4 days and then watching literally any porn.

>don’t be unattractive
That’s as simple as basic hygiene and taking care of yourself

You do have say. More than half of the relationships I’ve been in I made the first move with regards to sex. The first I didn’t. If a skinny ass twig man like me can do it so can you

>just do it for the validation
Has a guy ever actually turned you down? Generally speaking, you can probably walk up to any random guy and suggest having sex, and 95% of the time he will enthusiastically agree.

>The other thing is that some women cum like shrek out of a shitcabin in a 2018 meme compilation video
until they dont and divorce you while sidedicking the entire time you were married anyhow.

its just a joke to women

Would you let a cute chubby girl kick you in the balls if she'd give you a long blowjob beforehand?

Well let’s learn to walk before we learn to run here. Why do you think nobody wants to date you. You aren’t born appealing. It takes some work and upkeep. If you don’t like how you are, make yourself into someone who you like. Girls are attracted to confidence

about 14 of them across my 20s and 30s. they all did the choosing, otherwise approaching never ever worked.

socially women may initiate sex without it being misinterpreted as rape. As a man, you walk the line of being called a creep if you try.

It’s pretty good....get it whilst you’re young. Chances are after a while your gf or wife will stop putting out.
If I could do it again I’d meet up with horny older bitches from internet digging sites or whatever.
Once you have experience you’ll have more confidence to fuck some better pussy.

that's the problem of all the virgins here, thinking you are shit makes you shit, thinking you are a normal person that can grow makes you a normal person that can grow, there's nothing else in this world that makes pussys wet than a guy with passions, a bland motherfucker sintting on a couch dying of diabeetus is what you deserve, then.
Change your mind and you will get tons of pussy with no paying

>95% of the time he will enthusiastically agree.
You only think that because you want to have sex badly.

The reality is that when some 50 year old woman suggests that she can be whatever you want her to be and invites you to drinks, you will laugh it off as a joke and be literally disgusted even if you are a virgin.

Dogging sites*

> accurate summary of modern dating in 2019

"dating" as a concept no longer exists.

thats sooooooo 1990s

Maybe only initiate when they’re obviously comfortable around you? It’s not rocket science.
It’s all about presenting yourself as confident without being a douche

Oooouuuuuch right in the truths

>Just don't get so drunk next time.
Not getting drunk as fuck? Do you even matrimony, Bro?

t. Doing it wrong

It does. You’re just barking up the wrong trees

I've never been turned down.
Yeah but I only ask the guys who are tall attractive and in good shape. So the 9/10 and above. I'm not gonna stoop lower and why should I, when as you said we can get any guy so why settle before marriage?

>Girls are attracted to confidence
thats a circular argument and subjective
you can be an extremely confident ugly fuck and it makes no difference. "Confident" is code for an undefined something they can't put their finger on, and really shouldn't be trusted.

Remember, women have no idea how it is to be a guy, so ignore their dating advice because they are only describing the fantasy of what they think love/sex/relationships are. Its a entire disconnect from what their actions indicate.

Problem is I'm so socially inept that I can't tell if a given act is acceptable or rapey. Apparently you're supposed to escalate touch somehow, which theoretically includes light touching on the arm, then eventually a kiss or something, but if I try any of that it would be the equivalent of just grabbing women on the ass out of nowhere.
Probably. It's better than nothing I guess.
I don't know why nobody wants to date me. I just know that they don't because of decades of evidence of lack of dates.
I'm not hideously ugly or anything. Women talk to me and hang out with me platonically. It just never ever leads to anything more.

Does a PowerCommander make it any better? Do custom exhaust and blower help? We should start a thread on /o/

correct. a good indicator is when they start to touch you when hanging out in public (say on your shoulder). Thats usually a good indicator.

But remember, only THEY are allowed to do this. You can't do this yourself.

what's "to peg"?

>hang out with me platonically
How does that actually happen?

I'm legitimately curious, I can't stand being around a woman if she isn't obviously attracted to me.

Like warm apple pie

> what we call "modern dating" resembles anything like what dating was before
I heard of this thing called tinder/bumble/blahblahblah. I've heard its more of a transactional meat market than anything else. I'd also say it consumes the greatest portion of modern dating culture.

Ugly is subjective. Take care of yourself and you won’t be “ugly”. Simple as that

ugly fat fucks shows confidence when singing on a band, speaking in public for his colleagues in his job, speaking in class in a professional way, dancing like crazy in a party, and will get pussy, girls know confidence very well, they can smell when you are a uninteresting loser or a really fuckable guy.

Would be Vegeta for a Bulma, any Piccolo only as a good Tenshinhan for me.

>get it whilst you’re young
Fuck, too late for that.
I used to have dreams and passions. That was back in my 20s so I was younger and more attractive to boot. It didn't work then. Why would it be any different now that I'm older?
Wrong. If any woman propositioned me like that, I'd happily accept. It's never happened though.

correct. men are living in a dream defined by the 1950's. They've simply been pumped full of retropropaganda too much to see reality, and too gullible not to be duped by this culture's imperative.

kek. A 3/10 guy can have a shower, smell good, well groomed and well clothed, but he's still 3/10

Try holding hands while on a date. That’s how I always start. Take it easy.
Wrong again mate. Don’t grab her out of nowhere but just say “hey” and offer to hold her hand. I have never had a girl decline

An exhausting activity that you can do in different positions depending on your mood. Best kick out of it all that I get is seeing her enjoy it, makes me turned on even more. Everything else is basically like fucking a warm fleshlight

>Wizard here. Has anyone here had sex before? What's it like?
Its like being murdered, but instead of a knife, the attacker is using a kelbasa and not sticking it in your chest but in your bunghole instead.

looks like I fucked up.

If I dance really awesome I'll like get laid? Wow. Thats so simple it might just work!!!

"HEY LADIES LOOKING GOOD TONIGHT !!!"

Well, considering I'm on Yea Forums, the most valuable tip i can probably give is: drop the pity dick from your mouth.
People don't see you the way you see yourself.
Even if you're a fat fuck, if you're a happy fat fuck people will still flock around you.

I don't know what you're comfortable with and what you're not, but the best thing you can do is find someone with interests in the same field in at least one way. If you have an opening, people will treat you like an actual human being. At that point, don't start the whole "I'm a victim because bla bla" song and dance. You're not out there to be pitied, you're out there to be yourself.

"Never had a chance" is bullshit. Be aware of how you're putting yourself out there.
You don have to be a chad to get pussy. Especially if that's not how you usualy are. And if you get to the point of having a mutual sexual interest, it's fine to be open about not having done it before. As long as you do it with a smile instead of looking like a sad sack of shit.

Even if you don't think it'll last.
You're not someone's mistake, you're someone's ex.
She isn't "the one who got away and now you're all linkin park emo sad", she's the girl you dated but it didn't work out.

Don't be a chad, but also don't be someone sad.
Be the best version of you.

Good luck my fellow basement dweller.

Met my ex on tinder. Dated about 6 months. I was the first guy she’d dated. Went well. Still miss her.
Point is, not everyone on tinder sucks

I never hit females, except two cases. 1.) attacks me for kill 2.) kicks into the balls. Both cases are considered as terminal threats, thus the self defense / vermin eraser systems are going online.

Don't pay anyone or fuck a random if there's no chemistry, you won't get much out of it.

because you are a wanker maybe, if you have an ugly or narcissistic attitude, which seems to be the case, you are condemned perma virgin.
Maybe stop bringing bad feelings at every moment would help, smile and shut up whenn no one is asking you anything, learn to summarize al the shit yoou need to say in fewer words and you are ready to go

>I was the first guy she’d dated.
And you believed that?

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No, it doesnt feel like sex, sex is not just penetration, it's intimate physical contact with another human being

HEY LOOKING GOOD TONIGHT LADIES

HONK

Do more than that. Have a balanced life. Hygiene, bodily health, and mental health. If you expect to get girls while eating chips and browsing b all day you’re delusional

It mainly involves us going out in small groups and doing an activity in the company of others. Hiking, skiing, bowling, etc. It's actually pretty fun, and I'd still happily do that sort of thing even if I were getting regular sex.
Do you mean eating it? Or fucking it? Or what?
>while on a date
That's the problem. I've never been on a date. But also my hands sweat so holding hands would be an instant turn off.

oh! I forgot the most important advice. Do what you want to do because you love it, not just for pussy, don't look desperate, pussy is the reward of an awesome life, not the goal.

>newly 18
>bled absolutely fucking everywhere our first few times
>parents were sketchy as fuck about me at first
Yeah.

Unironically. Me and my woman just broke it off. It was my relationship after a period of staying single. Before, yeah I was a lonely guy, but I had my shit straight. Now, after having sex regularly and having someone in my life, my brain is in damage control mode from the absence. I constantly want to fuck now, and my mood jumps between super highs and pin-drop irritability. It sucks. My libido is all over the place. My bank account is low. I can’t wait until I finally find “the one” and this shit evens out for good

>Yea Forums.org/b/
>Has anyone here had sex before?

this is all correct, although it doesn't present the time line involved.

If you are able to follow this procedure, your estimated time until getting sex again is on average every 3 years.

Of course, women can choose a man and get laid within just 3 hours, so you might be lucky that its your turn on her cock train when your 3 year window comes up.

Otherwise, you just have to keep trying like a thirsty simp for years. It will work eventually and you might not be acused of being a rapist or falsely metoo'd by some jilted ex, but hey ... thems the minor risks of getting your dick wet (i.e. having bubbas penis up your ass in jail if it all goes wrong).

>You're not someone's mistake, you're someone's ex.
correct.
she was never yours, it was just your turn ... until the next dick leaves in 20 minutes.

This.
100%. Make yourself a better man and learn to love yourself before you love another

26 y/o kissless virgin here, I feel your pain bro. I've even got into really good shape recently, dropped over 100 pounds, started working out hardcore, got abs, starting to grow some big muscles.. and I've been told I'm pretty good looking. I asked a good bit of different girls, all totally different to rate me on a scale of 1-10 just to know where I stood and every girl said 8 or 9. But I guess after 26 years of beign a kissless virgin I just don't know how to start a relationship. Fat girls disgust me, and most girls my age are now married with kids. And girls younger than me seem to prefer super skinny femboys instead of muscle fit guys. So fuck me right?

kek

You basically repeated what i said in the last sentence. Best option is to have borh.
But good to know you're on the same page.

>Point is, not everyone on tinder sucks
yet you miss her. did she start getting side dick from other tinders (or never really stopped while fucking you)?

Like two bags of sand

Out in the real world, people seem to generally treat me like I'm a normal human being. And I even manage to present myself as one most of the time. The only place I discuss things like this is here with my fellow anons.
I just can't imagine myself taking the next step. I'll be out enjoying myself with a few women. We chat and have fun, but at the end of the day we all go home alone.
I have no intention of paying a hooker, at least not at my current level of desperation. I'm looking for a connection at least as much as the physical act.

kek
> he believed the whole "your the first one"

Watch this movie

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>If you expect to get girls while eating chips and browsing b all day you’re delusional
who said anyone here is using that dating strategy

i only use /b and the chans to sow social discord. If I need cuntmeat, I go socialise with the NPCs and display mimic the various traits them seem to think indicates sociability.

You’re all retarded. Do the rest of the world a favour and don’t breed, though I doubt that’s a problem for anyone in here

I don't bring bad feelings at every moment. I generally can appear pretty happy. It's just when I'm at home alone that I remember what a desperate lonely loser I am.
Is it still better to have a relationship even if they ultimately end?

>NPC
You’re one of us and you don’t even know it

correct

women only value men who are socially engaged with others. If you stand by yourself at a bar, you are deadset lost.

If you randomly talk with other men at the bar as though you are in a group, women will come and talk to you.

Often random guys out on their own will do this together with men they don't know because they collectively know faking this sociability as though they know each other gets women to approach them.

Its a great trick.

with someone you actually care about it can be the greatest thing, with someone you feel nothing about it just leaves you empty inside

but do the cuntmeats know it? See, I base my whole value on whether I can get laid. Hence, I must be amazing and not a NPC

Sorry user, I got driven off. 3 am here. I agree with your last sentence as written.

Believe what you want man. I sleep easy about it. If you want to believe that all women are whores be my guest but don’t start threads crying about not getting laid

S-so if I get a black transplant I will get sex?

This is just sad

Once every 3 years would be amazing. Even once in 33 years would be much better than what I have. Oh well.
Hey, good for you on getting in shape. At least you're still in your 20s, so you still have a bit of time. Just please hurry the fuck up so you don't end up like me. I wouldn't want that for anyone.

Sex is really good, like. Really. Good. It's important to recognize though, that a big part of what makes it so good is the intimacy. You are naked and vulnerable with another person who is just as naked and vulnerable, and you are making each other feel good in that moment. It's powerful. To really get the most out of it, you need to surrender yourself to that person, and revel in them taking care of you. In return you do the same for them.

If you can't get laid with only the power of your good looks and charm, then it's probably worth finding an escort who can give you a girlfriend experience and give you and idea of what it is to 'make love'.

It's not the alpha and omega of human experiences, but it's definitely one of the best things out there in my opinion.

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i didnt start this thread
i just shitpost to it for disharmony and to confuse those trying to score the black cuntmeat.

at my peak it was every 3 years.

I don't have good looks or charm, so relying on those would probably be a mistake. Has anyone here tried a gfe escort? Do they act well enough that you forget they're acting?

Well that's just how this world works.
It's what we have to work with, and if you don't adjust you get skipped and shit on.
Somepeople are born rich, some born pretty, some born skillfull.
Some people get molded by their environment.
And some people have to work for it. It's just how it is.

Yes, and if it's what you're aiming for, you can be that next dick.
People don't own people. But if you do happen to think that way, be prepared for a bumpy jealousy ride that'll never end.

Okay, that's good to know.
Then, the thing is probably this:
You know that feeling of where somewhere in the workweek you said you do something in the weekend. And then the weekend shows up and there really isn't that moment where you actually want to do that thing?
And then the weekend goes by and you either do it the very last moment or you don't do it and then consequences happen?
It's basically like that. You have to pick a moment where you're like "Alright fuck this shit. Iḿ gonna take a little time to get out of my comfort zone and get it done" and then while you're doing it it doesn't seem all that bad.
I mean it's still work, and it can even go wrong.
But that's no reason not to show up again on monday, right?

The most effort out of it is that initial 'getting out of your comfort zone'.

I gotchu man, I also like my beers on saturday night. We're gonna do this, we're gonna help this guy achieve this shit so he can help future nerds with his experiences.

>and you are making each other feel good in that moment.
except, you don't know that she is pretending because that train she had run on her last night has desentised her clit for the next three months.

I, uh, am now in a bit hard situation. This language is short in terms to be able to differentiate delicately enough... the young lady on the picture awakens my animal instincts, to breed, to have, to widen my territory, to enlarged my herd. Via fuck. This smile, this flawed beauty, this pose gets me to want it, fuck it. And not make love. My genes are resonating, whispering “take it” to my reproduction system. Clear? :)

Assuming you're a straight male, it feels really good on your penis. I mean, evolution has driven the penis and vagina to draw pleasure from each other for millenia, and calling it a pretty good system is an understatement at this point.

But what really puts it over the top is the sensation of your body touching hers in other places that you might not expect. Her belly is so soft and warm against yours. The feeling of her breasts moving in rhythm with the timing of your thrusts is hypnotic, and they are so tender and lovely to look at. It's always encouraging if she uses her legs to draw you in closer and urge you on. The smells that rise up from her sex, her armpits, her hair... are a major turn on for me.

There's a lot going on in sex that adds to the experience beyond the penis-in-vagina penetration.

>Yes, and if it's what you're aiming for, you can be that next dick.
>People don't own people. But if you do happen to think that way, be prepared for a bumpy jealousy ride that'll never end.
correct, which is why when women start pretending you are their exclusive property, you have to remind them they are being emotionally abusive.

Controlling behaviour by men and women should be called out for what it is. And emotionally abusive women need to be told no when they act jealously.

Well, I do think its worth getting laid, even if I have to get raped by bubba. I think its a reasonable tradeoff/exchange.

I'll let you decide ;)

like a fleshlight that feels better if you're good at sex what's really unique is kissing unless there's some weird japanese device that simulates kissing accurately you really can only get that experience with a real person

> Assuming you're a straight male
kek ... funniest post ITT

I'm terrified of trying, because every time I've tried in the past it's ended badly. I used to have friendly relationships with these people, and then I try awkwardly hitting on them, they reject me, and I'm left with nothing. I don't know enough women that I can risk losing them completely by fucking up an approach.

use tinder stop burning bridges with women you already know

thats because you played friend/victim out of the gates, and were never gonna leave the friendzone.

this never ever works, unless she's pityfucking you on her schedule of 20 dicks that week.

You have to from the outset NOT be/appear this way, user. Fake it till you make, don't count your chickens, and a bush in the hand etc

Great description. That helps me imagine it a bit. Now if only I could experience that in real life.
Hmmm, there's some weird japanese device for pretty much everything. They probably already have a pretty good kissbot.

I wouldn't say it's all about pretending. That would be a mistake, to pretend that this wasn't a paid transaction. Instead I mean you should look for an escort that will take time to make it a good and intimate experience as opposed to going after your dick like a ferocious hyena to get you to come as quickly as possible, get pain, and then go score some crack.

Go to dinner first, have some chatter to get to know each other a bit and build a bit of a rapport. What stuff do you like (League of legends, pokemon, cooking, wtv). The idea is not to pretend she's your real girlfriend, rather it's to make it a night of honesty and openness that is met with loving acceptance rather than rebuke and rejection. And then you have sex that is based on sharing pleasure as best as possible instead of just based on making you cum. (admittedly women can be tough to please sexually, and she might pretend at this point more and that's where she earns the paycheck). But your role is to do your best to try to do what you can to make it enjoyable for her as well, and there aren't any tricks in this regard, you just ask 'what do you want?'.

Full disclosure, I've never been with an escort so I am not sure about what that is like from first hand experience. But if you exhibit genuine concern for another person, they will appreciate that.

correct. the trick is accidently meeting your existing friends ON tinder, so you've been given permission to fuck them. Otherwise, you need to seek out strangepussy on tinder constantly because you can contribute to their goal of a high notch count before they settle down.

>I wouldn't say it's all about pretending. That would be a mistake, to pretend that this wasn't a paid transaction.
But thats ironically what dating and meeting up for sex is, essentially.

I reckon if user can pull this off with escorts, he might just get the technique down to pick up non-diseased cuntmeat too.

its wet

i fucked my first girlfriend on a pool table alot. it was alright

any guess on her cockcount?

I reckon it gotta be at least 40 as of the date of that photo.

Do women on tinder even say hello to average looking guys? There are so many attractive guys on there, why would they?
What? I don't have any metaphorical chickens to count. I didn't meet them with the intention of hooking up. I was just looking for friends. After getting to know them, I start to like them as a person, and imagine an alternate universe where the relationship is different. But I know it will never be, so I don't try.

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No, dating is looking for someone you love and who loves you too. Sure there is a transactional component to early dating, but those relationships rarely go anywhere, and then the search continues until you find someone who makes you stop worrying about that shit.

i don't see why it wouldn't feel good, putting your dick in puss. if i could guess as a vigin

that and especially the psychological bond and mutual connection you have with your partner. and the fact that you have your piss pipe in her gash just centimeters from her piss hole, two very dirty parts just makes it even better.

My vote is on bourbon usually, but this time work is the booze. Overtime ftw. I’m patching since Friday 7am, now is 3 am here.

That is an absolute truth.

I’ve got a friend, guy is smart, fucking fat, we’re talking about 140 kilos, 180 cm height. BUT he has a great humor, has funny self-criticism, which is a soil of a cynic view of the world -> more fun, he accepts himself (tries to work out and blah blah but has an underwriting thyroid gland, so weight generally sticks), and most importantly, knows when and how to shut the fuck up. And when a target chick talks, it is worth listening, because you might learn something, and because it is usually a prerequisite to raid her wet domains.

This guy was a complete failure a few years ago. We have got him to come to a training. Apparently to a kyokushinkai training. He got his ass beat down to the fucking ground, until he did vomit, but got friendly insulted, so he got a spark... and boom. Now he has a wife from Vietnam (hey we’re in mid eu), but before that he did fuck his dick to a rags state.

basically tinder permits maximum pareto principle, as described in the Bible regarding where we will regress to pre-civilsational time (i.e. how it was in the jungle).

Basically, every 7 women will take one man (15% of men) and not care they are all sharing him, because they all get the top meat.

See also the current rising graph of fewer single men getting sex unlike their equivalent single women who are single getting the same amount of sex over the years, which means the women are sharing a select few of men.

Its actually good that feminism has enable women to obtain pre-civilisational reproduction behaviour because it has liberated them from patriarchal values. This will enable our technological future without men because women are simply better and deserve to share the best men.

Other basement loser men can go die, thats just how it is. Though this will in no way affect society and civilsation will keep on going as it was before.

correct. once you become serious, then you move onto paying money for weddings, cars, houses, rings, life insurance, children and so forth for sex once a year, so there really is not form of transactional component of relationships after the initial dates.

Well yes, but also keep in mind that they're not doing it on purpose, they just don't know any better.
We're all just product of our parents and their generation.

Okay I usually don't like to use the term "friend zone" but it's actually kind of a social status.

First impressions aside, when you get to know people, they get to know you as well, and everyone puts those people in a certain catagory.

But once you're "friends" with a person, usually the best option for people who don't have it easy to find sexual partners is to let that person aside as a candidate, and instead catagorise them as someone helpfull, instead of them being the goal.
It's where the term "plenty of fish in the sea" comes to life.

It's another hard thing to do, because our brain likes to think that "Oh I'm getting somewhere I better hang on".
And thát's where we stop.
We don't own people, they're not obligated to do anything with us after initial contact no matter how positive.

Instead, having actual friends is beneficial in another way.
Because they have their own friends which bring oppertunities, and if they don't work, then you still have the "original friend" to talk with, compare data if need be, maybe cry about it or whatever.

The point is, if you're making friends with someone to be friends, it should be fine.
If you're making griends with someone to later change the situation on because "HAHAI HAD A CRUSH ON YOU ALL ALONG" usually doesn't work out.
Usually. Results may vary.

Just be straight with people.
It's okay to be friends with someone and then later on realise you're falling in love with them.
It's self sabotage to be in love with someone, become friends, keep a false friendship and then try to break through.
Just be upfront about it.
In your own way, because i sure as hell don't fucking know you so that's the part I can't help you with.

its easier by first practising putting your dick up your own anus, and becoming comfortable with that first. It will require stretching, unless you're black.

From what I read in the texts, the penis goes up the urethra during the sex. This shit about vagina is some sort of voodoo shit I don't understand.

it feels like a warm wet thing, you'll feel like a million bucks for a few days. after that you will go back to being a robot.

>BUT he has a great humor,
and a 16 inch cock

I've been with one woman for 10 years now. We are not married, have no kids, and money is just not an issue for us. She ain't greedy, but I do keep her fed and we have all the A/C we could ever want.

>eep in mind that they're not doing it on purpose, they just don't know any better.
correct. it important to remember that are essentially farm stock without the agency of sentient humans. its why they mimic (poorly) humaness in their social transactions).

Right, I don't go into friendships with ulterior motives. I generally can't even imagine myself in a sexual relationship with anyone. That's why these days I don't really try flirting with anyone I know, because that's always ended badly. But flirting with someone I don't know also ends badly, so I just remain without any options.

>It's another hard thing to do, because our brain likes to think that "Oh I'm getting somewhere I better hang on".
this is important to remember. I lost count of the number of times I could of analised various girlfriends when the whole relationshit was selfimploding, though I still tried to do the right thing even though it all ended.

Remember, don't have regrets: if the relationshit is on the skids, always try to get some anal and other kinky shit she might not otherwise have allowed, because you will regret latter you don't sodomise her given the situation was already terminal.

Can you use that good feeling to improve confidence and make it easier to get laid the next time? That would be nice.

>Just be straight
lel ... top bait

Scarily insightful and almost zenlike.

> I keep her fed
um ... its it one of _those_ relationships?

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Actually 18 cm, which is kinda average here. We asked what fits in that girl, she’s not too tall, a bit chubby for my taste, but seems to be tight. All I know that the first few happening were sorta slow, lots of lube, you know the drill. But then she acclimatized... and it didn’t take months. He says, the tightness is the same, but no “ouch-ouch” anymore.

Only do this if you actually want any of this.
If not, be straight with the person and make sure you don't end up with a situation you don't agree with.

Like all other carbon based lifeforms. You know whats up, I like you.

How do your friends do?
Are they sexually active? You part of a group of unbanged nerds or are you the black sheep or something?
Maybe your environment is the key to this issue.

Oh right I forgot which website I'm interacting with.
Just be pansexual with objects and open to new experiences folks, it won't just make your day, it'll make your hole weak.

sex is nothing like that virgin

Haha, naw, I keep her at about 1200cal/24hr.

overrated.


the priest seemed to like it though

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I love you guys. This is awesome.

yeah for sure. Its a pretty big barrier to get over but once you finally hit you'll realize that having sex aint that hard

sex feels like sticking your dick in a nice warm hole but honestly pussy isn't even the best part. I can jack off and feel good but for me the most enjoyable part of sex is the skin on skin. It satisfies a primal urge for human touch that cant be satisfied by nutting into a tissue

> How do your friends do? Are they sexually active? You part of a group of unbanged nerds or are you the black sheep or something? Maybe your environment is the key to this issue.

I have often seen various youth church geek groups behave as some sort of nerd swapping gangbang. I reckon other-user needs to join up with a church group and score some teen gash, that or some side-GILF action given the number of tasty grans counting down the days to death.

> Just be pansexual with objects and open to new experiences folks, it won't just make your day, it'll make your hole weak.
kek. Or move to Portland Oregon. Very similar.

>sex feels like sticking your dick in a nice warm hole but honestly pussy isn't even the best part.
correct. just till you can put it up her tailpipe. shits awesome, and she sometimes will eat her own shit off your rod.

From high school to mid 20s, I was part of a friend group of mostly nerds, a few weirdos, lead by a couple of somewhat nerdy normies. First the nerdy normies found gfs, and got married, then the nerds found gfs and got married. Once the most normal among us were married, they started doing normal married things, going out with their married friends, etc, so we eventually stopped seeing each other.
Nowadays I'm trying to make friends again, but it's hard.

It's really overrated
You fuck, you cum, back to buiseness and the usual problems...
Like taking a dump, relieving and nothing special

don't worry. Usually by this point they deadbedrooms and looking to spice things up. You can capitalise on this by putting yourself in situations where they might offer swinging and side dick with their wives. Usually the wife got bored of their dick years ago, so a bit of backdoor strangecock (although, not so strange because you once were friends) and its all good.

The trick is to avoid their inevitable marriage distintegration yet get all the MILF action you can in the dying stages of their doomed marriage.

If the husband wants you to suck his cock, pass on that shit, Just tell him you only like fucking his wife.

this is why schisse sex is the next unlocked level beyond sex. Once she allows you to lay some cable on her tits after dropping load up her poophole, you'll be flying to the moon.

Their marriages have already failed. Met up with a few of them at and old friend's wedding a couple years ago, only to find out that they had all gotten divorced.

that was a funny comment user, disgusting, but funny

precisely. which is why it requires timing.

Best window is at 5 to 7 years from the beginning of their relationshit (not from the beginning of their marriage, because that was just a cope for running out of shit to do). So, it can be about 3 to 4 years after marriage they think they can save their marriage by fucking other people with their wife/husband.

This is when you need to "just happen" to be in the social neighbourhood at weddings etc. As usual, it was just the husbands turn, and you'll have pussy banging going on till she just starts sleeping with the whole town. At this point, she'll be up for wayyyy kink shit, because she married beta brian for vanilla sex to keep him line. After few years without strangecock, anything will do and you need to simply be in the vagcinity.

+1
The feeling when both faces are kissing the delicate skin of the neck of the other, while thighs are rubbing, and palms are gliding down the spine, is priceless.

Also boobies on your chest, going down... feeling the nipples, just wow.

>nipples
I have heard of the nipaples. What feels do they do?

How much do you usually play with her titties during sex? Is it weird to keep grabbing them, or do women expect and enjoy that?

Can anyone tell me what its like to poop on a womans tits. Is it like Jenga?

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This made me kek but also reminiscent of the times i scooped for chunks with my mushroomheaded friend and and launched it straight into orbit after making my slippery accidental exit.

These people certainly come a-cross as a holey community.

Speaking as the nerd who found a gf, I do have friends who have been less successful finding a partner, and same situation: contact got less.
obviously not because of negative relationships but because of life's priorities. (AKA bitched take time)
And honestly, if they contacted me I'd be 1000% up for hanging out.
Chilin like a villain like old times.
But I don't think there will be more commitment than meeting every once in a while, unless that person comes back into "daily rotation".
And I think that'd be something helpfull.
A person / people in your daily life, peers if you will, to share andcompare with.
I kinda recently started picking up magic the gathering as a hobby and honestly I made a ton of new friends.
I just went to a location that held events weekly, the atmosphere is nice and at some point i became a regular. And I can tell you that if I didn't already have a person to inseminate daily i would definetely be able to come in contact with someone through there.

So I think you should expand on something you like, outside of your home.
If you're uncomfortable doing it alone, start with someone you know, but keep in mind that you're doing it for yourself.
The direct value is that you're actually doing something you like. The side benefit is the people you meet, in an environment you're most likely comfortable with, which helps in general if you want a steady relationship after a possible meat and greet.

Oh right i kinda forgot you might just be going for a quick shag instead of something sustainable.

If you really just wanna bust a nut in someone's gut just go for the 'intoxicated closing time fatty' in your favorite raunchy bar.

Fucking someone you love is great. But fucking someone who loves you, seeing them beaming after you nut, there’s nothing like it. That being said I am 26 and haven’t fucked since I was 19

i felt euphoric and anxiety-free after a few pecks on the lips with a girl

i didn't stick tongue in though cus i'm a faggot

>reminiscing
i'm loosing it here. fucking top tier keks.

> a cross as a holey community
on fire :)

ok virgin

>nd I can tell you that if I didn't already have a person to inseminate daily i would definetely be able to come in contact with someone through there.
ok, this has to be the tiptoppest kek in this thread so far.

you're a natural user and a salt of the earth

When they touch your skin, and you feel them in your palm, or on your face, in your mouth, or on your abdomen, it is kinda special. The touch feels like nothing else, it is like magic, you can feel that it is reacting, it is a living thing, the touch is light, and still, you can feel the life, the warmth. Same when she cuddles from behind... although the back has the least amount of nerves, you can still specify immediately the nipples. Hard, but still a bit soft, and a hint of wet touch, more like steamy feeling.

Some may have reverse nipples. Doesn’t matter, equally valuable and cute. In that case, “nipple erection” won’t really happen, but when a boob will touch you, you will know it.

Not the material you will jerk off, but the feeling which will be kept in your human part, deeply, way below the onion browser and stuff.. but will never get forgotten.

The game.

> you should expand on something you like, outside of your home.
> if you're uncomfortable doing it alone, start with someone you know
> meat and greet.
lel

I'd much prefer sex in the context of a relationship, but a one night stand might be a good way to learn how its done so I don't completely screw it up with a potential gf.
I've been working on meeting people through group activities, but the problem is by the time I realize I might be interested in her, we already know each other reasonably well, which is past the critical time barrier between friendship and a sexual relationship. If I hitting on them at that point, I risk destroying the existing friendly relationship we have, and possibly making all future meetups with that group incredibly awkward.

also, hate fucking someone you love is amazing too, right after hate fucking someone you hate and loving fucking someone you hate.

You need to learn your partner better then... I find it takes a good 2 to 6 months to peak. Talk, be sensual, learn what makes them cum the hardest and play with that. With love comes passion and deep intimacy... and consequently wild and satisfying sex.

I don't know who you guys married but me after 10 years still have sex at least once a week.No sex is not an option in our marriage. If she ceased to put out, there are plenty of others that will.

Sounds amazing. Thanks for the description user.
Dammit. It's been months since I've lost.

>but when a boob will touch you, you will know it.
how will i know it? will it cause the dribbling like from the mechanical action? Or is it like the defacation but from the front bits?

That's because you dried her up

I wanna fuck her like my waifu

> one night stand might be a good way to learn
i have found the one hand night also is good technique. If you can learn on your own first, then you can learn on your own with someone else, until you arent alone.

>I don't know who you guys married but me after 10 years still have sex at least once a week.
Is this with your wife?

Again, depends on the specimen. First touch should be light, as you have to observe your surroundings. If the boob is firm, touch it delicately, if it is softer, you can be a bit more brave. With your palm, embrace it, it’s whole surface, avoiding the nipple area. You should handle it like a fucking thin bag of goo, where you don’t know when will it blow.

When you grab it easily from below, following the curve, let the nipple slither between your fingers, and easily pinch them. Maybe some claim they like forceful grabs, but I never ever did hear any chick denying soft touches.

Just play with them in easy mode, patiently trying the limits, remember, nipples are sensitive. Exactly as you might like to jerk your dick like a bulldozer and grab it like megatron, but not initially.

Easy touch, you will feel it. It is in the genes.

It's not the greatest, but when not in some sort of relationship and getting it on the reg, it damn well occupies your mind a lot

what if I never jerked off over my megatron. I had starscream and bumblebee that I jerked off too. Does this work with the nipaples?

thats because you put it up her tailpipe

is a Tenga like Jenga?

It is itchy and soft and warm and feels rubbing, but you feel the approximate size, also the body heat of the specimen. It is... very organic. Also don’t forget, if a nipple is touching you, it’s owner is also close. Kinda helps in the identification process ;)

You know, it is not the most porn-y thing. But very, very intimate, and sex is about intimate moments. As mentioned before, perfectly emptied balls require thorough, self-applied handwork.

This is uhm a part of another kind of sensation. Part of opening up. Enjoying of melting into something foreign, but still something familiar.

Not with a whore, suckin’ fo $5. But with a normal girl, after some beers, between two humans, yes.

How do you get someone to want to do this with you? Sounds amazing.

Depends on which side of the moon you are trying to make flow the eternal fuel

> Also don’t forget, if a nipple is touching you, it’s owner is also close.
how close? like, standing-on-the-street-corner-nearby-while-I'm-in-my-house close? Or like the way ohio is close to virgina? I'm close to my sister but I'm not sure if thats the same thing.

I too have romantically drained my balls though knowledge of human. If by human, you mean the tailpipe of my car.

I can only tell about the female recipe, never had any gay experience.

Listen. Check the targets. You shall see which are over your level. They are not over your level. Approach, talk, at least initiate an eye contact. Force a smile to your damn face, at least raise your eyebrow.

If you have a conversation, well, listen, let her talk, insert empty questions like “really” and “omg did he really do it” and blah. Be fucking interested.

I may be now the worst idiot here, but I say never ever aim for one night. They will feel it. Handle every chick like if you were planning to long term. They really have some cat sense or like that.

The more honest the resonance or what the bloody fuck they receive, the sooner you get laid.

And no one ever said you have to be a prick. She will let you inside, she deserves some respect. Except if she wants a gallon of piss on her face and two slaps. But that will be fucking rare.

This just sounds like being nice and having a conversation. That's how you get a friend. I've done that many times. What do you do differently to make it into a sexual relationship?

Some googling says “It should be the size of the pencil eraser.”

So after the eraser distance comes the body. Surprisingly.