Confess your secrets

OP Here.
Trips...
Get quads in this thread and I’ll do it.
WHOEVER ROLLS HAS TO SHARE A SECRET

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wanna try that again?

you snooze you lose... his loss... dont feel bad

My finger friended my backseat's mom in the car.

are you fucking stupid or somthing?

again

My car’s backseat mom’ed me in the finger.

>move into new house
>Find little girl's panties stuck down the back of a heater
>Pull them out and fap furiously into them for the rest of the week

My backseat's finger mommed me in the car.

good god... i give up... thats three time you methed up...

Ya I can't tell anyone

My in’s the car fingered my the backseat friend.

STOP STOP STOP!!! PLEASE STOP!

I live with a maxim model
I wanna smell her panties / feed her vodka as she turns into the biggest hornball when she drinks.
She gave me a collar and leash encase she gets outta control...

thats hot... keep going

Post pics

My finger backseated the car's mom in friend the.

Of what?

What really happened is you got caught, they threatened to turn you in. You cried like a little baby and threatened to kill yourself and they said stay away from us

Last year I splashed out 100kg of graphene in a month.
Of course I was motivated, since it's vital to the production of "God's tears".

I'm fucking my teenage employees on a regular basis. Over 100 in the last decade

I once wrote, not a porn story, but a sexy romance about a slim petite brunette with small tits who thought she was a lesbian but then met a dude and fell in love with him. It was a self-insert wish-fulfillment thing.
Several years later, I met my coworker who, at the time was married to another woman. She is a slim petite brunette with small tits.
We are now married to each other.

Ever since you were 24 or so, right?

Im fucking my gf raw thats pretty much it. Loyal user here

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Right!

when i was about 13 i almost fucked my (at the time) about 6-5 year old niece-in-law

Thats very similar to my story, but mine ended with having to take sexual harassment classes, losing my job, and mine was actually true.

okay.what is it that i can do to make you stop? it was rude of me to call you stupid and i am sorry. now can you please stop now. were acting like kids.

I put cheese on my sandwichs

;-)

Truth is stranger than fiction, user.

The only reason I'm not in bed with her rn is because I've had the shits and I still need to scoop the cats' litterboxes.
She would do it, but pregnant women really shouldn't.

Just turn 360 degrees and walk away.

you should cheat on him... then kill him... that would be hotter then heck

This man needs an trophy

>him

Dafuq? Are you impaired in some way?

but i would just walk strait to you...

I convinced the NSA/Five Eye surveillance squad I was a Russian Hacker with a clever bomb threat; and in response, they took down my local gym's DMZ on their network thinking I was going to give them a data drop. Got waterboarded after that one and signed an NDA to never speak about it for 0 jail time and had to voluntarily commit myself to a psych ward to sell the cover-up because they didn't want to look like idiots who got trolled into kidnapping a nobody. Oops spoke about it.

Teehee!

Why not just do the threesome and pretend you got into each other that way?

do you want something from me?

My gf rip my foreskin and i got a cut on it because i sprayed axe on it when i was a little kid .. Then it got tight then years ahead im fucking my gf and it hurts to fuck her now i got to do penis exercises :(

Threesomes usually end badly. Funny thing, I wrote about that in my story (mentioned in ) and my Gary Stu standin character turned down the threesome with the ex and the brunette because he knew it wouldn't end well.
But hey, do whatever.

What do you wanna know

I want you're skin.

I really like how in your family the kids get younger as they get older.

I think it’s just her fantasy, in reality she’d chicken out and complain that I was wanting to do it. Can just tell

I used to frequent a truckstop strip club. (It's as bad as it sounds.)
Most of the girls there were pretty bedraggled. A few were obviously meth heads who had almost a full set of teeth between them.
And then there was Sharla. I was in my early 30s and she was pushing 50. Not terrible looking, but definitely getting a bit long in the tooth.
She hadn't quite given up on life yet, but she was wearing thin. I figured she would make a great target.
I picked her for a lap dance. She seemed surprised. She apparently hadn't gotten a request for that in years. She would normally hit the stage later in the evening after most of the patrons were at least a few drinks in.
But I buttered her up. Made her feel special. I kept coming back, at first once a week, then two or three times.
One regular night, I didn't show up at my normal time. Instead I came by just at closing. Sharla was already heading to her car. I pulled up and rolled down the window.
The dejected look on her worn face changed into something resembling a joyous grin.
I asked her if she wanted to go grab a bite to eat.
She eagerly agreed.

We went to McDonald's. She was a cheap date.

We talked. She told me about her life. Divorced, no kids, recovering alcoholic, barely making ends meet as a stripper for the last ten years. Sober for five years and three months.

I told her I thought she was beautiful and that I would like to see her again, not just "on business".

She considered it for a few seconds, then said "Sure!"

We dated for a few weeks. I took her out to Applebee's, Ruby Tuesday, O'Charley's, pleb-tier shit like that.

I bought her a ceramic rabbit thing she saw online. It was only twenty bucks, but she treasured it.

I went to her apartment and started spending nights there. The sex was okay. Getting off is getting off.
She was clean and not too hideous for her age.

Sometimes she'd stay at my place.

One day I told her I was going to go shopping. She asked if she could come with, and I said, "Most times yeah I'd say you could but... Not this time. It's gonna be a surprise."

I gave her my most winning smile, slightly hinting at something really nice.

I called up one of my other girls, a fuck buddy who was probably at least 7/10, maybe a 7.5 after a few beers. I asked if she wanted to come over and fuck.
She's almost always DTF. This day was no different.

After I got off the phone with her, I called up Sharla. "Hey sweet thing. I got a surprise for you! Can you come by at 2?"

"Sure!" she said, elated. When my other girl came over, I made sure to leave the door unlocked and cracked.

At two o'clock, Sharla walked into my apartment to see me railing this twenty something blonde bimbo from behind. I turned around and gave Sharla the most disgusted look and said, "What the fuck? I said to come by at two thirty! Why are you here so early?"

The look of absolute devastation and desolation on her lined face was fucking hilarious.

I was surprised she didn't run. She simply turned and walked out.
"Who the fuck was that?" my fuck buddy asked, more curious and annoyed than angry.
"My landlady. Sorry, I forgot to lock the door!"
I continued fucking her in the ass.

Sharla, I would later find out, went home, making one stop at the liquor store. She bought a bottle of something cheap I'm sure, got completely wasted, then blew her brains out with a .357.

For all intensive purposes, she was a waist of skin, and too week to survive in this doggy dog world.

I laughed harder at this stream than I have at anything on b in a while.

Fantasize about raping and impregnating my ex and keeping her around as a sex slave

fine by me... my address is 412 Keenland Drive Georgetown Texas 78626... come kill me

Just wait, I’ve got something for you.

Oddly enough, I wouldn’t be surprised if this was true. Murica defence force for you.

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You do mean "dog eat dog world" right?

I love my free time

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Learn to spell

Use your free time to learn how to make this image clearer -- it's grainy/pixelated to shit.

Still solves your problem though. Give her grief about giving you grief when she was the one who brought it up. Then when your affair gets discovered, blame her for pushing you away and into #2's arms. Or vag, whichever you want to go with.

Go to the link and take out the “m”

why'd you tag me so many times

In all seriousness man idk, it’s not just about getting laid. She’s still with her boyfriend, and I still love my girlfriend. Think it’s just gonna have to be a secret we keep. Very british way of dealing with this sorta shit, drama free

>Texas
>gunfag in a castle doctrine state

No thanks

I’m trolling the world right now

OP of image here, uploading it through my laptop

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I have a transformation fetish

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I got caught rubbing my dick against my coworker's ass when she was bending over. My boss yelled at me. I'm embarrassed about it now so it's a secret between the three people including myself.

The worst thing about this story is the final sentence. THAT was painful.

im not gonna fight you... i just wanna die

We've all been there mate. What would you do with the kid?

The text is compressed in some places, making it less readable.
I just don't understand the decision to do this -- it makes it less readable

Noah fence, but for all intensive purposes, you are being obtruse. But that's a mute point. Your ignorants runs the gambit. Irregardless, it doesn't phase me. People like you are a diamond dozen. You think people are putting you on a peddle stool, so you act more and more like a pre-Madonna every day.
You believe you're Judge Judy and executioner, the world is your oysture, and you can just say "Bone apple tea" as you ciao down on it. Sorry, that just won't warsh. It's painfully oblivious to me that everyone else is actually having a feel day at your expense.

Anyways, without further adieu, allow me to play double's advocate here. I hole-hardedly understand what you're driving at. (And when I say "driving", you really are putting the petal to the medal!) You may find this disoncerning, but your arguments just don't cut the muster. When we get down to brass stacks, you simply take too much for granite. Your rants get expidentially more incoherent as time goes on.
Yet, though you may have tipped your hat too soon, this fuhrer over your idiocy might just be a blessing in the skies.

JUST BE HAPPY ABOUT IT ITS MY FIRST ONE

Does it involve apparent linguistic incompetence?

You see, while your attempts at logic often don't pass mustard, there are elements that could be an intregal part of learning to do better. Limited as it may be, you do have a wearhouse of knowledge at your indisposal. You're not totally up the crick just yet.
This can help you home your skillset, and make the quantrum leap you need to hone in on your goals. In time, your rhetorical skills could be like mental marshall arts. Yeah, I know it's a doggy dog world out there, but I know you can do it. I look foreword to the day your argumentative skills mature with baited breath.

All and all, that's one of the French benefits of online debate. Case and point: this very conversation! Even now, I bet you're already getting the jest of what I'm saying. As a manner of fact, with 50/50 hindsight, you'll see that this kind of back and fourth, is one and the same with online training. With a daily regiment like this, you can't loose! I hope my post didn't sound like I was trying to make you the escape goat or anything.

OP of the thread. No quads for those CC digits?

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When I'm in the public restroom at work,
I like to take the biggest shit ever and never ever flush it. Also sometimes i smear shit on the stalls and piss on the floor. And one time I didn't wipe for a whole day. So I just went home and washed the shit off in the shower.

probably
this is user your talking to

fucking this. lol

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*yore

Well, "Snoop Dog Eat Dog" wouldn't make very much sense, now would it?

Aren't we all...

dont correct someone unless your right please

Bruh, srsly? :-(

I've been there. It's no fun.

i dated my best friend (mtf 24) who i had feelings for for the past few months. we dated for about a month and we did a few things. trans girls are really horny i learned.
eventually i lost romantic interest in her and only saw her as a friend and as a sex object. it sucked because i knew she loved me but i couldn't return the favor. i purposefully acted like an asshole until she left me and she finally did, and im regretting my choice.

Kek

>it doesn't phase me
phrase me, idiot

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I slept with employees of mine at 3 separate jobs

I'm a walking corpse only alive because I'm stuck taking care of my kid.

praise be

Thank you, even if you don't mean it. That's all I wanted to hear from someone. See you on the otherside maybe, user.

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I surrender. You win the internet. That was awesome.

are the guy that wants my skin or sumn... i think he bounced

thxfam. It's a work in progress. Working on squeezing ordinance vs ordnance in there somewhere too.

m or f

sheeit mang. that was a stupid thing to do though

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WOAHOHO

ease gf into 3 way, if all goes well, you can be poly with both, if not freinds bf will kick your ass, both girls will leave you, gotta crack eggs to make a omlette son

m and you can guess how much fun that is.

This thread is now an FBI thread boys, careful what you share.

Fucking turn this into a YLYL thread

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Sometimes when I fart it sounds like the opening bass riff of the fresh prince of bel air theme song, then that song gets stuck in my head for days.

I'm the guy who claimed to want your skin. I was fucking with you. My entrance into the convo was with the 360 comment. I'm not the "fingered in the back of the car" guy. Not sure if he's still here or not.
Both 360/walk away and fongered car are memes/references. You clearly didn't get them. That's fine. Forget. Disregard.
If you're trying to out-troll me with the comment about just wanting to die, then you win.
But I didn't get that vibe. You seem serious. Just want to give you an internet hug, bruh.

Bf is a weak bitch lmao can barely lift his own Landry basket, she’s expressed her distaste for him multiple times

boy or girl... how old is he/she?

If they had reason to believe you were a terrorist then they acted on your stupidity. However this is epic. Become an hero!

I let an old guy I met on Craigslist fuck me in the ass raw. He cums multiple times. Meet up a couple times a year. BTW I'm married with a kid

Sleeping pills?

Sounds like a future Larry Nassir case..

>implying any threads on \d\ aren't already fbi threads

do it.

its been a minute since ive been on Yea Forums all by friends are gone and i dont care about anything. i want to die but i cant kill myself. im a heavy catholic and im losing faith... i dont want life anymore

Anyway, it's late, my stomach hurts, an I need to get to sleep. I hope you feel better.
Nobody deserves to feel like they want to die. :-(
I'm 42. It does get better.

I fantasize about marrying the girl I'm with but lie about wanting to because she doesn't want to get married.

Post all the nudes of these teens

FBI OPEN UP

I constantly want to kill myself for no reason

Mods, i'm sorry for my post history. I really do you love your site. I'm sorry i've been such a stupid fucking troll.

okay... goodnight

Forget the sky daddy stuff. Forge your own path. My wife was raised Catholic. She hated it. She's worked her shit out, at least as well as any of us can.
Don't give up, please. Our lives changed after 40. (Met each other, divorced our wives, having a kid now, etc.) But we wouldn't have worked out if we hadn't become truly secure in who we were.
You have every right to exist, sky daddy or no.
Wish I were more awake and coherent. Life will get better. That's my point about telling my story (disjointed as it is). You don't know what's around the corner. New friends. New places.
You are no better than anyone else. And no one else is better than you.

Fate is what happens to those who choose to accept it.

Go in peace.

My parting shot, exactly 200 posts away. It's a sign. ;-)

I’m in a serious long term relationship and live with my girlfriend, but lately I’ve been jerking it on Omegle. Guys, girls, whoever. Sometimes I even dress up as a trap using my girlfriends clothing and wigs and help guys get off. Not sure why I do it.

Damn dude that must have left you pretty fucked up!

Bc you're bi.

your the fucking problem... STOP

dont take your clothes to a drop off place to wash/fold

Yea Forums is full of faggot niggers and losers
chicken-nugget.mcnetwork.me

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KILL YOURSELF YOU FAGOT!!!

I’m still here nigger
What do you want?

Enjoy the AIDS

^that guy is trolling btw

Troll!

I had sex with my sister and her asian friend without a condom.

dont listen to this troll
not that one... sorry

I use to get really high on weed back when I was fatter and i have/had a straight girls ass, after lifting getting jacked and not having a huge girl ass anymore i actually am not schizophrenic/weird like this anymore (i legit found the cure to mental illness anyways) I use to shave my ass get really super high and make hmoemade dildo's and powerbang my ass to tranny/gay/even straight porn. but what's weird is I would get a shit ton of toilet paper, lay them out on a strip of paper towels, and when i was fucking my ass i would wipe the shit off my dildo/ass and like pile it up on my desk, i got no fucking idea why i went about it this way instead of just taking a shit and showering or doing it in the shower anyways, one night it hit me hard as fuck (cuz of the weed prob enlightening me) and i was like "holy shit am i gay?" mid ass-banging. i think i was about 14 yrs old. I don't believe im gay, i dont have those thoughts anymore. I think i cured gayness lol, doing things you arent comfortable doing and prospering from them, lifting weights, stretching, eating right, sutdying topics you enjoy and meeting others going to events and places and talking to people who are interested in those things, being apart of bigger shit like that. anyways. lol

Had the exact same problem last summer dude! All I can say is it gets boring after a while

I have a shitty podcast

youtu.be/KncB3WoOT-k

Finally something good to jack off to

Haha thanks let me know in the comments

I work with a woman who is really argumentative, high stress, and high maintenance. We lock horns a lot. She's kinda hot, though, so whenever that happens and I'm working from home, I'll print out a closeup of her face from FB and rub one out, shooting my cum across her smiling face. Always feel better after that.

>>deriving at*

:^)

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what?

really? an old dude? fucking gross get yours self a young twink at least

what are those?

im 18 and always wanted to nail a milf... you down?

What?

The phrase is
It’s a dog eat dog world