Yea Forums, we are thinging with my gf about trying anal. it would be my and her first time. any suggestions?

Yea Forums, we are thinging with my gf about trying anal. it would be my and her first time. any suggestions?

Attached: Wiki-analsex.png (800x600, 234K)

Don't thing about it; just do it.

Yes. Tell her to use lots of lube on your hole otherwise the strap on will hurt.

Here are a couple.

1. When you are actually ready and she's in the mood, don't put lube. Lube is highly overrated and makes it messier.

2. As you are fucking her, go slow at first and gradually increase the speed. Also you push deep and whip your dick outside suddenly.

3. Stick it in her vagina a few times just to remind her of the sensation.

4. The asshole is totally clean, needs to be washed so have her take an enema (or a small plastic bottle worth) of water and let her shit out the contents, and just to be sure put some alcohol in there to kill all bacteria.

Lube and make sure she washes her hole well, and you wash your dick. Shit on dick is not fun.

but that's her fart chamber

Hello, I am OP's sea monkey.
It seems that OP has started a stupid thread again, but allow me to explain...
First of all, OP was born with obesity, had no friends at school, and he quickly became a child confined in his own shell.
OP's parents felt sorry for him and bought me as a pet. But if it were that easy to fix somebody, humanity wouldn't have so many problems.
After repeated truancy and school transfers, OP eventually stopped going to school altogether and became a hikkikomori.
In fact, OP's parents are so ashamed of him that they are glad he never leaves the house. They bought him a computer to keep his unpleasant existence away from the world...but it was only a matter of time before he discovered Yea Forums.
Now OP posts stupid threads all the time, then smashes the F5 key like crazy waiting for a reply. Whenever there's an occasional reply, he mumbles to himself "Ufufu, got'em xD!"
As for myself, I'm trapped in a tiny aquarium and have to listen to his mumbling and loud keyboard clatter all day long...
From my position in the aquarium I can't help but see his screen, even when I don't want to. The other day I saw OP was posting under the name user and pretending to be a gay.
Furthermore, he was groaning as if being strangled to death: "Sakura-tan...hnnnggg...s-so...m-m-m-m-m-m-m-moeeeeee!"
Then some white liquid fell into my aquarium.
I can't take this anymore.
I'd rather live in the filthy trough of a pig farm than in OP's aquarium. Well, I guess OP is basically a pig, but anyway...
Oh shit, OP just finished jacking off for the seventh time today, and he's coming back to the computer.
Guess it's time to wrap up my monologue.
Everybody, please have some pity for OP. It's not really his fault that he turned out this way.
And, if you can...please keep the memory of this one little sea monkey in your heart...

This.

Ask yourself; are you man enough to let her peg you ?

If the answer is no then you don't deserve anal sex.

>enjoy getting shit on your dick

you should be selling these tips

dont use lube. just ram it in there when she isnt expecting it. thats the best way.

>3. Stick it in her vagina a few times just to remind her of the sensation.

this is how you get infections.

based fellow sex offender

Just like with most gifts, it's best as a surprise.

Thanks, I will use all of those

Use lube or prepare for tearing.

He's fucking with you, every from 1 to 4 is designed to destroy your gf

fucking virgin

> and just to be sure put some alcohol in there to kill all bacteria.
This is absolutely retarded. First of all, you want to have bacteria in your colon. You actually need them. Without a healthy bacteria flora your digestion system is severely crippled. I can already see the doctors face when you tell him what you geniuses did.
Secondly, your colon can absorb alcohol extremely fast, so she's basically getting drunk. Depending on how much you tards want to put up her ass she might even end up in the hospital with alcohol poisoning right away.
See you guys in the emergency room, or maybe at the Darwin awards.

record and upload here

Lube... lots of lube. Also, loosen her up with a smaller object penetration before actually fucking her.

Not him but it doesn't sound that hygienic to put something that was in someone's colon directly into another orifice without proper cleaning.
Sure you might done it and nothing happened but it certainly can lead to infections.

more lube

Just use some lube and stick it in? why are you asking this

Show me.

Fuck her front but till shes messy, spit on her asshole and gently guide it in. If it's a first time I suggest a toy first, something small and not painful but that you can do multiple penetrations with.

Also finger her ass, make sure you dont pull back snickers bar.

Also use two fingers on her ass but work up to that, dont go deep with fingers just gotta relax that hole.

Also rim her, that'll chill her tf out.

congratz you found the joke

Whereas I agree that it's a dumb idea. Calm the fuck down metal jacket Steve. Fuck.

ok