Post em

Post em

Attached: secrets.png (851x315, 357K)

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youtube.com/watch?v=HsGRsDe3iRw
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i lost my virginity to a guy and never told anyone

Please do incest/young for the rest of this, no other secrets matter.

Nigger this isn't your thread

I once took a shit in the urinal and an autistic kid got blamed

one time i kicked a dog when i was stuck visiting slums in india and it stopped moving

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

nigger

shut the fuck up beta

>be me
>be 16 years old
>mom walks around the house with barely any clothes, we're talking bras and thong only
>spots my wood
>rocks over to me and starts to "flirt" with me
>cock literally throbbing in her presence
>starting prematurely cumming through my pants
>she gave me a handjob
>she still blows me kisses to this day

tell us a 'real' secret soo

I have an unhealthy obsesssion with horse porn. Honestly I just want a fat horse cock up my ass and have him cum buckets.

part 2?

I blew a trap, swallowed his cum and I loved that

hi every1 im new!!!!!!! holds up spork my name is katy but u can call me t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m!!!!!!!! lol…as u can see im very random!!!! thats why i came here, 2 meet random ppl like me _… im 13 years old (im mature 4 my age tho!!) i like 2 watch invader zim w/ my girlfreind (im bi if u dont like it deal w/it) its our favorite tv show!!! bcuz its SOOOO random!!!! shes random 2 of course but i want 2 meet more random ppl =) like they say the more the merrier!!!! lol…neways i hope 2 make alot of freinds here so give me lots of commentses!!!! DOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol internet Before Protests: THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST hey gais i juts foun encylopedica dramarita, u gais r funny lol i told evryon on myspace bout u lol post invader zim COUNT TO TEN AND ILL POST TITS U Laff, U Loose! Slowpoke Combo Incoming, bitches!!!!! Hey, lets start a furry thread! Oh man, b, i need advice! my girlfriend wont come to my Liknkin Park concert cause she wants to do marijuana but its illegal oh man b what od i do? post endingin 74 tels me wat do to Hey Faggots, My name is John, and I hate every single one of you. God exists, PROVE ME WRONG After Protests: MAN Yea Forums WAS FUCKING SHITCOCK GREAT BEFORE THESE PROTESTS, THEN THEY WENT AND FUCKED THINGS UP!

are u ok

>be at school
>feel a huge turd pushing out of my anus
>run to the toilet
>choose the most segregated and isolated toilet
>last floor, for both genders (so girls rarely use it)
>get in a stall
>going to shit badly OH SHIT IT'S HUGE
>suddenly, toilet door open
>I can hear two or three people walking in
>anus starts closing
>female voices
>laughing, giggling.. all happy chatting
>anus is as tight as the virgin Mary's own nostril
>can't shit for good
>still feel the huge turd pushing
>OH GOD WHAT DO I DO
>the girls don't seem to want to leave
>they keep talking about shit and stuff
>all happy
>I think SCREW THIS
>I start pushin fuck the haters
>anus is still tight and closed
>more pushing, I'm starting to feel like the fist of the north star and goku had a baby and it came out constipated
>suddenly, I open the pandora's box
>hell unleashed
>splashing sounds everywhere
>farts
>shit flying everywhere
>I scream at the top of my lungs
>FOR THE GLORY OF THE OLD GODS
>THOR, BLESSED THINE HAMMER
>WE SHALL CONQUER AND PREVAIL
>suddenly, quiet
>"oh my god.." one of the girls says
>I hear another girl almost puking
>"what is this smell oh god"
>they run out of the toilet
>I stand up, wipe and leave

>niggers

My neighbours had a really annoying dog. He would always bark insanely loud and I could hear it through my fucking walls. One time they let him out to play outside and I managed to grab the little fucker when they weren't looking. I could see those retards look for their faggot dog outside while I literally sliced his neck open. The way he squealed felt so good.

Ive been wearing my sisters panties for about the last 3 months. I steal a pair in the morning, wear it to work, go home, wash them and put them back. She doesnt know and i love they way they feel. Its hot walking around in victoria secret thongs underneath my normal clothes

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

>be me
>be on holidays
>do 3 pull ups
> bar breaks
> toenail is literally hanging on by a fat piece of skin
>best part of it all was the pain i felt when i ripped the nail and skin off of my body
>jews run down the stairs to see me smiling in ecstasy
>unbelievably horny at the moment
>bandage it up
>run to the bathroom to have a quick wank

Ive been sucking my neighbors cock almost daily for the last 2 weeks. Got horny one day and downloaded grindr to check it out. Got messaged by neighbor. Was awesome and gf doesnt know about it.

Every now and then, my asian girlfriend and her friends would bring up how gross yellow fever is, and how all these white guys fetishize them.

I have insane yellow fever and jerk off to all her friends pics.

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>Animal sitting for girlfriend's family
>Instructions said to treat the animals like kings
>"1hr playtime, walks, and food starting at 6am"
>Fuck no
>slept in till noon, fed them twice a day
>snoop into her sister's room
>find panties
>wear one over my face
>wrap rest around my cock
>cum buckets
>Find her laptop, search whole thing for nudes
>Nothing
>Cum 3 more times with all the panties I can find
>Her family paid me $100 to jerk off and watch tv

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It's ironic for someone as evil and selfish as me to want to act like Jesus. I hate Jesus and everything he stands for. But I know he's right pretty much 100%, so it's like listening to your parents and eating your vegetables. Life pretty much sucks anyway, it's not like it will fundamentally get any better, so I might as well act like a decent worthwile person. That's how my imaginary wife would have wanted it.

Newfag

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

fucking lol same here. Though my gf and I have white/yellow fever.

Go back to your porn threads newfag

I've cheated many times on my husband

Rot in hell

How, why, when?

Cousin and I are in a sorta fwb scenario.

Your a sadist

>be me
>friends with outcast girl at school who was actually pretty hot
>spend every day together since age of 13
>finally get courage to ask her out at 16 years old
>'i literally started dating X today'
>it's a LDR but whatever, as long as she's happy
>rebound into a gf I knew from school
>still hang out with her every day
>bully X on Skype every day, she lets it happen
>things with gf get stale but we stay together
>one year later
>messaging best friend
>'user im tired of travelling 150 miles for cock'
>starts sexting
>oh fuck it's happening oh my fucking god
>don't even consider that I'm cheating
>we act like nothings happening whenever I go over hers and that the sexting isn't happening
>'hey user I want to go shopping this weekend come with me?'
>sure
>sexting continues up until shopping trip
>GF has no idea
>day of shopping trip, flirting with me and has her arm hooked in mine
>buy some shit, get new Vidya and go back to hers
>she starts play fighting with me and hooks her hands into my trouser waistline
>what the fuck is going on
>oh my god it's finally happening
>still not caring that it's cheating
>we make out
>suddenly brain kicks in
>sorry, I can't do this, it's cheating
>leave hers and go to gf's
>we have an argument, I storm out her flat
>open text from best friend
>'im sorry I was a bad girl sir, I won't tell if you don't'
>no longer care it's cheating
>dick is diamonds, go home but patch things up with gf because why not

There's a lot more to this, like 4 more years of this. I'll share more if people are interested. If not, I couldn't care either way.

in a toilet
smell shit

>What is this smell??

>if people are interested
No thanks. Boring morals cheating bla bla bla... You 12 yrs old or what?

Hope the same happens to you

youtube.com/watch?v=HsGRsDe3iRw

Nice try, Crispin

Girls don't use toilets for pooping, it's a place to chat and do makeup in large groups, alleyways and under bridges are for pooping.

Wow, got me good user

>lol ur 12 because you went through a moral conflict that only you and one person know about

>lol ur 12 because you're posting it in a secrets thread

Man, summer starts earlier and earlier huh?

I have a girlfriend and she is fucking wonderful to me. I love her, and she seems to love me, complete with all my goddamn flaws. My problem is that I am so fucking horny that I feel like I'm so tempted to cheat, given the opportunity.

Let me put it in some context: I'm in no way capable of getting out there and just attracting women. This woman gives me happiness and confidence, and THAT makes me think retarded shit. I don't like it at all, because this girl is so fucking good to me.

It makes me somewhat understand my dad a little better. Guy had it good, but he wanted more, and he fucked up 2 marriages.

I try to tell myself to be happy and not be a complete piece of shit because this girl is so good to me. So far nothing has happened, but I'm worried.

Also, I have never cheated on anybody, and I've always been disgusted by the idea. I'm just older now, and hornier than ever.

I hope that you really mean you kicked a Pajeet

>sir
Stopped caring. That shit is gay

If you say so, user