Oh shit the cops are here, quick put on your cool face!

Oh shit the cops are here, quick put on your cool face!

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What? No, nothing officer.
Just having lunch with my daughter.

>camera? what camera?

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hahaha

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Throwing out a popo distraction! Legit!

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write a book about WHAT

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I love you

helo sirs

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How's goin officer?

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tnx, I love you too

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

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Story time:
>be me
>15 years old
>staying at friend's dad's house
>dropped acid for the first time
>sugar cube, 2 drops
>fried out of my mind
>walk with friends to Random City Park
>normally 30 min walk took 2.5 hours
>somanypatterns.gif
>get there at 2am
>get to park, we all start seeing the stars start orbiting the moon
>lose our shit
>make loud asses of ourselves
>cops roll up into park
>we all scatter
>I end up heading back to my friend's place
>another two hour walk
>as I'm crossing the main road, cop stops me
>ohshit.jpg
>'what are you doing out so late, young user?'
>his face is morphing
>his badge is pulsing
>his voice is tinny like it's being played through a cheap speaker
>the car engine is a series of nuclear explosions
>the spotlight is a pulsar shooting into my soul
>I'm nowhere near the end of my trip
>but I remember the best advice I ever got when on acid:
>if it seems abnormal, it's not real, and it can't hurt you
>I keep my cool
>even though it seems like 20 years since he asked the question
>a voice comes through the ether:
>'I'm just going out for a walk, I have an early shift at the McDonalds and this helps me wake up before work'
>a piercing gaze
>'seems a bit early for that'
>ether voice again: 'I start work at 5:30, so I have to be up this early'
>his face is a blur, but somehow he seems okay
>'Alright, young user. By the way, you weren't at Random City Park a couple hours ago, were you?'
>ethereal voice: 'No, I was asleep. Where's Random City Park?'
>'Don't worry about it, have a good day at work, young user'
>he disappears completely and I head back to friend's house
>sneak in to his bedroom, and he's not there.
>was picked up by cops a bit ago
>was taken to his mom's house.
>wake up in the morning with a fried egg brain
>go home and sleep it off

Pic related, it's my cool face.

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>14 years old drunk as shit at midnight and alone.
>Go to highschool, lite the trashcan the go hide.
>Nothing happen except the fire getting very big.
> wtfwasinthere.jpg the school is now burning.
>Get out of my hideout, a man stop me.
>Hey have you done this ?
>Nope *keep watching the school burning"
> Cops just arrived, the firefighter too.
> Stupid me say "oh it's time to go for me"
>Man : No way, you stay here if you are not guilty.
>Cops: What's you name, where are your friend did you drink ?
>Me: Here my ID, I am alone sir, I drank with a friend and I was going home then I saw the fire.
>Cops not beliving it, I need to think FAST
>idea.exe
>Sir, I am now late, my mother will be very upset can you write a note to explain I am late because I am with you... or can you drive me home and explain to her ?
>Only a 14 years old fool would ask a cop to bring his drunk ass home and have a chat with his mother...
>Cops say : No user I can't do that "face change" go home.
>Start to walk back home, very straight, my brain is puzzled did it REALLY work.
>Stop, turn back to have last look savingmoment.exe
>Walk home still with a very intense and strange feeling of freedom.
>My 14 years old drunk brain scewed up a cop.

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Roast pig anyone

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Nice

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dindu nuffin

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Oh no, they turned off their body-cams!

Hows it going, Officer? I was just about done stocking some Pepsi merchandise, were you looking for some?

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nice trips

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No officer, no drugs here

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Why is right cop fake fapping?

>>son you look a little nervous
i-i uh i just l-look like this all the time

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Thanks, user. Oldfag here and that's the first true laugh I've had in a couple years on this shithole.

Anons cool down you are suspect as Fuck