Hey there, anonymous! It’s good to see you again, I hope you’ve been well...

why do you want a girlfriend? it's pretty silly to want a deeper, intimate relationship without knowing who you want it with in the first place. you're sort of putting the cart before the horse here.

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I don't want to be alone anymore and I want someone I can place my absolute trust in. I also want to marry and have kids someday.

that's understandable, but can't you appreciate the standard you're putting out there? you're looking for friends so that they can help you find a girlfriend that you can rely heavily upon and ask to bear your children. I get where you're coming from, but isn't it just easier to look for someone you want to be around and care about first, and go from there?
what I'm saying is, you're gonna scare the shit out of anyone you end up going on a date with if this is how you portray yourself.

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I think you misunderstood. I meant that I need the skills behind making friends before I get a girlfriend. I want the act of finding a gf to be entirely on me. Also, I want any relationship I'd have to be 50/50 partnership and start as a friendship first. My problem is that I don't know how to portray myself to begin with. I don't talk to people casually at all unless I'm forced to and in those circumstances I just end the conversation as soon as I can. I tend to come off as serious and just keep to myself.

Anyone else going through / have gone through addiction of jacking off to pizza with a certain dairy product on top of it?

It all started with morbid curriousity when I was 15-16. At first all I did was googling and finding bikini pictures etc. Then it turned into nudist beach pictures and then I discovered tor and deep web and it all went downhill from there. Now I'm in my twenties and at a point where I don't enjoy anything but that!

I don't think I am born with a disorder or have a disease. I have a girlfriend and I get turned on by women. I think it's more like what all these rich hollywood assholes are doing. Enjoying it as some sort of exotic forbidden fruit that only certain people can get access to. It just feels so exclusive and taboo, and for some reason, I cannot get enough of it. Do you guys have any advice for me?

I've uninstalled my vpn, tor, cleaned my drive over and over and promised myself to stop so many times I lost count. I never download anything anymore because I found myself just hoarding and never going back to old stuff anyways. I'm at a point where vanilla porn is just way too bland for me. It's like watching an awkward grind sex scene on a PG-13 movie.

I am in my twenties now and I feel absolutely disgusting. Before, my reasoning was "I am a kid myself, I like people at my age" but now I really feel like a predator. I scare myself sometimes by the thoughts that I get when I walk past school kids and interact with them. I never act at all what so ever, but the fact that I objectify them in this way is really scary! I don't want to end up as a 55 year old white van owner, if you catch my drift.

WHAT. THE. FUCK. DO. I. DO???? please guys I need help

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>I don't talk to people casually at all unless I'm forced to and in those circumstances I just end the conversation as soon as I can.
that may be why you're bad at making friends, you know...

I'm aware of this. I don't know how I'd start a conversation with someone or what to even talk about. That's the core of my issue.

wew, that's a lot more than I'm qualified to advise on, I think. at the very least, I'd suggest you go cold-turkey on your italian food. try some bulgogi now and then, push yourself away from those habits.
I honestly don't know what all else to say other than try your hardest, I'm sorry.
so you gotta just start doing small talk with people! ask people about their day or what they do or hobbies. go to a bar and talk to someone who doesn't seem to be doing all that much. talk to coworkers or classmates.

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The time I decided to try and fuck a dude.
I'm straight married male, 32, out of town on business trip.
Years and years of porn has got me thinking I may like it. Registered a profile on Grindr(rip).
Blue collar dude says he's interested. I specify oral with possible anal. He picks up condom and lube but says no pressure.

Shows up at hotel. Nice guy older than me. In shape, probably from years of working construction. He comes in and take off my pants. Starts the lollipop shuffle. Not bad I think. His beard hits my balls, ok no way to pretend I am with a dude.

He pulls down his pants. My fucking God the thing is like a fucking tree limb. I have average white guy dick, 5.5inches. This fucker is like 8 and thicc. I try to succ. Can barely fit in my mouth. We try for a bit more then fucker picks me up and turns me over (I'm 6'2 220 lbs) and starts tounging my starfish. Feels weird, I don't like it. He asks if we can fuck. I decide might as well try it, I say yeah. He Jimmies up and gets the lube going. I am starting to think about it, anything near that size that has come out of me has hurt. Right then he sticks it in. Fuck!!! I am riding a wave of pain. I am moaning and crying like someone shot me, he starts going faster. I became his bitch. I start realizing this is not my thing. Want to yell stop but, dude was getting his fuck on, didn't want to be a faggot and stop him from getting his nut. He blows. My ass is filled with his cum. He goes into the bathroom washes up and leaves.

I realized that night homo sex is not for me. Never again.

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Isn't it weird though to just ask strangers about that stuff? I mean, I wouldn't want people asking me about my personal life.

Ugh it's not literal food. I can't help myself from being sexually attracted to underage kids ;__;

I mean, good on you for learning and all, but you should've totally asked the dude to stop if you weren't comfortable. at least you know now, though!
and people aren't really going to want you as a friend if you keep them at arm's length. you gotta be able to get to know people at some level in order to foster a relationship.
yes I know, that's why I said I have no idea what to say beyond keep trying. I'm neither trained nor capable on offering any real solutions, but if I knew resources I would point you towards them. but this is a situation a bit out of my wheelhouse.
I'm sorry. I wish that I had more.

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Oh right. Thanks though

There is something in life that i would really like to pursue but success in said thing is not guarenteed at all and the fear of failing, as i always do in life, is really hindering and makes me second-guess it all the time.

everyone fails, pretty frequently. you are capable of learning from failures and improving during your pursuit. it's part of the learning process.

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Do you think aiming for your star and perhaps being forced to settle for less along the way is better than not going for it doing the safe thing? Im just worried about what would happen if i had to settle or failed.

Forgot to tag you

I'd rather keep pushing myself until I hit my limit. if that means aiming for the stars and settling once I hit that limit, I'm all for it.

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Just worried that i dont have it in me to succeed. Im such a pussy

that's a normal feeling! but you aren't gonna know unless you try, right?

I think i will try. I need to save up money for a little while so i still have time to think about it. Really want what you said to be true. Maybe i should try to think more positively even though that is very hard for me.

go for it! and if anyone tells you that you can't do it, prove 'em wrong. that's what drives me to keep pushing forward. I can be down on myself all I want, but other people aren't going to tell me what my limits are.

Have to go now, good talk i think

have a good one