Tell me your secrets, Yea Forums. We all have secrets

Whenever I can, I poop in urinals. I do it quickly so I don't get catched, then run and lock myself in a stall pretending nothing happened, then wait for people to try to use the urinal and be grossed out.

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Who? Your sex doll?

Environmental

Cheesy logs of cream.
Loggy creams of cheese.
Cheesy creams of log.

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Caused by nuclear waste or the experiments themselves?

one time i punched an 80 year old man and exploded his head off of his torso for eating the rest of my raisin bran crunch

Within the past 2 weeks, I’ve taken creep shots of at least 6 girls with my iPhone. I’m starting to think it will become my new thing, whereas I used to steal used panties. And no, I won’t post any pics, so don’t ask.

Waste

Bull. Shit.

If I find you, I’m punching you in the face

I once hacked one of those mac phones and installed in it the other competition operatic system, idroid or sumthing like that

Please do, that's one of my fantasies.
Can you punch me in the face while you're having sexual intercourse with my waifu?

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I normally jack off to furry futa where it's just veiny cocks in my face, I always eat my cum and swish it around in my mouth

The worst part of that is the fact you have an iphone. Stay in school.

Ages? Got pics of the panties?

13 and 14 respectively. They have a younger sister, she's 8 I think but idk, I'm shy......

They must have great taste, what kind of panties?

22 and 23

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im a socially awkward retard who's actively trying to learn how humans communicate after cringing hard at myself earlier today

WELL NOW THAT I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION I CAN TELL YOU WHAT IVE BEEN WANTING TO F=GWT OFF MY CHEST I LOVE BIG POO POOS BIG STINKY POO POOS ESPECUALLY ON MY FACE DRIPPING DOWN SMELLING LIKE STINKY WET ROTTEN GARBAGE AND FILTH I BELEIVE JESUS WOULD WANT US AS HUMANS AS HIS CREATION TO EAT POOPOS IN FACT GENISIS 7:17 SAYS GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD THAT HE SAID WE SHOULD EAT LOT OF STINKY SQUISHY SLIMY YUMMY YUM YUM POOPIES I DO NOT WANT TO GO AGAINST THE WORD OF THE LORD SO I WILL START EATING MY POOPIES AS WELL AS THE POOPIES OF MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY I JUST NEED TO CONVINCE THEM TO GIVE POOPIED PANTS IF YOU LOVE GOD MAKE SURE YOU EAT PLENTY OF POOPIES

I took a dump in the girls bathroom sink. I had followed a girl in and was jerking it next to the stall with her peeing. I had to poop really bad though so I took a dump in the sink while the hot girl was coming out of the restroom. She saw me with my pants down and me pooping with a hard dick. So embarrassing

I'm and I love you. We have much in common. Let's do the sex?? I can top or bottom, I don't mind.

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I already have a Master’s Degree, so yeah. Eat a dick.

I prefer bottom ;)

fuck off! I actually have a doctorate.

Dungeon master does not count as a degree, you fucking neck beard.

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I’ll take “Ridiculous Nonsense That Never Happened” for $200, Alex

A doctorate in homosexual ass rimming?

Deal. Asume the position then!...

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if so, then clearly a higher education level is no cure for being a virgin.

it really happened. Im no longer allowed to see the girl inquisition

i used to draw a lot back in elementary and middle school. mostly just stick people comics or weirdo doodles, but i had notebooks full. i never got any good since i never tried to draw anything vaguely realistic. eventually i just stopped, i couldnt tell you why. after i graduated i went to an expensive college for two years (i was academically skilled) until i eventually got put temporary suspension since i wasnt doing any of my homework and failing all my classes, and i just never went back. so now ive got like $60k in loans to pay back and nothing to show for it.
i wonder a lot sometimes if i shouldnt have gone somewhere cheaper for a simpler degree and taken up an art (like traditional art). maybe i wouldve actually liked that or something.
i bought a fairly cheap graphics tablet off amazon, and it should be here by next week, but i think its too late. i dont really care about anything anymore. or anyone. i just exist, bored every day. all i really want to do is be dead but that's a big hassle and i dont really have the courage to do it or anything like that.
idk more of a rant than a secret, sorry.

no in English faggot

The gods have spoken.

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my cheeks are spread! sorry if I forgot to wipe :/

I genuinely can't tell if you just use really bad bait, or if you're actually Indian

MY VAGINA IS ITCHY AMD HAS CREAMY CHEESE INSIDE GUYS EW ITS ALL WHITE AND YELLOW AND STINKY LIKE COTTAGE CHEESE UUUUU I JUST FARTED AND SOME OF THE CREAM SQUIRTED OUT INTO MY CATS FACE HMMM LET ME TASTE IT YUCK TASTE LIKE ROTTEN CRAB MEAT SO DISGUSTING EW IT ITCHES SO BAD DO YOU THINK I HAVE AN INFECTION? CLUMPS OF IT ARE LEAKING OUT NOW

>sniffing 8 year old panties

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im Indian and I love poop :)

My fetish is to wipe a slightly dirty ass with a wet towel.

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I think that pretty accurately describes a lot of us, friend. I was never big into art, but I always loved writing. Same EXACT situation with school. I owe more debt Than I'll ever make (and it compounds more quickly than any job I've had can pay) and now I'm just hoping I'll die one of these nights

Indian poop is best poop healthy specially when is fresh recently pooped

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Damn, I was really hoping you were an actual Indian

my ass would definitely leave a skid mark :)

My girlfriend wears nothing when she gets her period. No tampons, pads, cups. Not even underwear.

She gets blood everywhere. My car, bedding, chairs etc have all been ruined and had to be replaced. She stained everything she puts her cooch on, but doesn’t want to replace them. Has chairs around her house that have brown stains on them. I’m embarrassed when my friends have to ride in her car and ask “did someone poop on your seat?” and she corrects them and says it’s period blood and theirs nothing to be ashamed of.

Anyways, i ended up having to replace my expensive gaming chair last month cause she sat on it when i told her not too. Well cue this week i find out she's on her period. So i bubble wrap EVERYTHING I OWN. However when she enters my apartment with her bloody dripping white leggings she notices my bubble wrap scheme and freaks out. She’s offended and asks why i would humiliate her like that, asked if i was ashamed of her for being a woman. Before I could say anything she left. She’s now demanding an apology.

im sorry for you, i wouldnt wish this hell on anyone.

I know thats why I roll in it :))))))))

I am :)

The original reason she cited for free bleeding is that she’s environmentally conscious and doesn't want to use wasteful products like pads and tampons that would end up in a landfill. Now, she’s taken to even more extreme measures to be environmentally conscious. First she stopped flushing the toilet when she shits. Literally her toilet no longer works because it’s so full of shit, so she just shits in a trash bag. She literally screams at me when i flush the toilet at my place so i have to wait for her to leave before i can flush turds down.
The 2nd thing she has done is stopped wiping after she takes a shit. She constantly smells like ass like disgusting. And now ALL of her clothes are stained not just her period clothes. She wears a lot of white and no underwear so her pants alway have a brown stinky stain on the back.

I can’t say anything no matter how gentle or she’ll scream at me. Should i break up with her

My dad used to not be mormon but is now mormon again. Ever since he became mormon I'm mad at him. He needs not to be that. He calls me after work once a week. Why. He misses my mom because she died. I wish he would stop hurting my family. He doesn’t care. He was ok when he wasn’t Mormon but now he’s not good. He has two cars because he’s selfish. Because of this I try not to celebrate Christmas with my kids but he always insist on sending presents. When I was 13 he told me Santa wasn’t real.

He wants to help me move. No thanks. I’m allergic to his cat. I can’t go to his house. He also eats a lot of head cheese and it disgusting! Also I think it gave me diarrhea. Thats right DIARRHEA!!! He didn’t care that I had diarrhea.

I accidentally got a DUI. He was mad and wouldn’t help me. Now he’s mormon again. I’m so confused right now. My wife wants to leave me. My dad wants to help me thru the divorce but i don’t want anything to do with him I know it’s his fault. He asked me about the cat. I told him what cat but he was talking about his ca

Well that sounds fun. What did you do to make the cringe?

I work at a Starbucks. A few days ago, I was using the restroom and farted really loud. Whatever it happens. When I came out however, I found out my crush had been in the lobby, and heard me fart. Worse my coworkers told him it was me and gave him my full name and everything. They also told him I had a crush on him. He used to chat with me regularly, now he won’t even look at me.

lol your useless degree makes it even more sad. 6 years of college to learn how to read lol

shut up I'm still smarter than you :)

I have a fetish with bisexuality and bisexuals, regardless of the sex.But I don't think I'm actally bisexual myself.

Two nights ago my wife (35) and I took our 3 kids to Olive Garden. Some background, our youngest, Jacsin, is 7 years old. We decided to continue breastfeeding him till he’s 8, as well as diapering him. It’s just too difficult to potty train and much healthier to breast feed. I did the same for the older two kids (11m and 15f).

Anyways, while we were dining. Jacsin did a big poop in his diaper. After 10 minutes of him screaming about his butt being mushy, the poop started to stink really bad. I realized I had to change it. However, the bathroom was too far from the table. Honestly, the restaurant should have bathroom closer to our table. My wife and I have talked about suing the restaurant because of this.

I couldn’t change Jacsin at our table, because we didn’t want to mess up our food. So, plan C it was. I approached the neighboring table of two dining couples. I said excuse me and plopped Jacsin on table, accidentally knocking over a few glasses.

I proceeded to change Jacsin’s diaper and accidentally spilled some creamy clumps of poop into the customers pasta dishes. Instead of being understanding of my dilema, the couples started to scream. I hushed them and told them to be more compassionate. Suddenly, Jacsin, with diaper down, started squirting and spewing diarrhea all over the couples’ , their food and their table. All of them got it in their mouths.

They immediately called for the manager while I quickly sat Jacsin back down at our table. Once the manager approached us, he told us to leave the restaurant. I told him no, this is a restaurant and families are welcome too. I was so angry that I threatened to never come back.

Luckily, the manager let us stay. He ended up kicking couples out because he didn’t want to loose our business. Honestly, I was so mad at the couples I tipped 18 cents on a $75 meal.

When we got home, Jacsin when straight to his room and started crying. He was embarrassed that he pooped on those people. I told him he did nothing wrong and that those people were really mean. Now he won't talk to me.

ironically you have no carnal knowledge though

I'm still more smarter

Used to have a curious sort of sexual relationship with my sister when she was 12 and I was 14. We now do not talk anymore and it’s probably due to this, it’s my biggest regret and I just want to have a normal brother/sister relationship but I feel too much damage has been caused and it will never happen

BEACUSE I CANT HAVE SEX WITH WOMEN I NO LONGER HAVE A JOB THATS RIGHT I GOT FIRED BECAUSE OF A WOMAN BECAUSE WOMEN ARE SHALLOW AND WONT SLEEP WITH ME BECAUSE IM UGLY

WHY DO I HAVE TO LOVE WOMEN WHY CANT I JUST BE GAY I HATE WOMEN SO MUCH THEY ARE THE REASON I LOST MY JOB BECAUSE THEY DIDNT LIKE ME ASKING THEM OUT BECAUSE IM UGLY FUCK YOU WLADIES OUT THERIR THEY OWE ME A JOB AND SOME SEX NO IT REALLY IS THEIR FAULT I DONT HAVE A JOB THE WOMEN AT MY LAST JOB GOT ME FIRED BECAUSE I WAS TOO UGLY FOR THEM THEY WERE ALL FUCKING SKANKS ANYWAYS WHO HAD CHAD BOYFRIENDS I WAS JUST TRYING TO SHOW THEM SOMETHING BETTER SOMETHING NOT ABUSIVE BUT NO THEY ALL JUST LIKE BEING MISTREATED BY THEIR CHAD HUSBANDS HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THEY HAD NO INTEREST IN ME ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE IM ALSO NOT AN INCEL IM NOT ONE OF THOSE WHINEY BITCHES BUT HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THEY WULDNT WANT ME IM PRETTY SURE MOSET OF THE WOMEN I WORKED WITH WERE FUCKING THOT SLUTS SO I DONT SEE APROBALEM WITH ASKING THOSE FEMALES FOR SEX AT WORK THEY SHOULDNT ACT LIKE THOTS IF THEY DONT WANT MY ATTENTION ITS THEIR FAULT I WAS FIRED FROM MY LAST JOB I HATE CHAD SUCKING FEMALES

I'm a trap in my spare time

Thank you, friend, I wish you the best. I've pretty much just gotten used the fact that this is life now

4CAHN IS ALL FEMALES FUCKING FEMALE WEEBS FUCK YOU IM SO FUCKING ANGRY HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FIND A JOB WITH BEING FIRED AND GOING TO JAIL ON MY RECORD ALL BECASE OF THESE STUPID FEMALES WHO CANT HANDLE MY ADANCES ITS ALSO WOMENS FAULT I HAD TO GO TO JAIL FOR A YEAR 2 YEARS AGO FUCK THEM THEY DONT LIKE WHEN I MAKE THE SAME MOVES THEIR CHAD BOYFRIENDS MAKE WHY CANT WOMEN JUST GIVE ME A CHANCE IM NICE SMART TALL AND FUNNY
HONESTLY I WISH PEOPLE HERE WOULD LISTEN TO ME AND JUST GIVE ME ADVICE I DONT KNOW WHAT IM DOING WRONG I DID EVERYTHING RIGHT WITH THESES LADIES BUT THEY JUST AVOID ME AND TELL ME TO LEAVE THEM ALONE HOW DO I STOP THESE FEMALES FROM LEAVING ME

My friends wife leave her dirty clothes in the bathroom the last 2 weekends I have been busting nuts in her panties and I think I'm gonna stay photographing all of them ... I wanna convince them
to start fucking in front of me any tips

>Should i break up with her?
KYS. and yes you weak fuck!

I'm pretty sure I am asexual or else I have an incredibly low sex drive.

I tried adderall today because I'm pretty sure I have some sort of focus disorder. For the first time in a really long time I actually felt focused and in control. And then the pill wore off. A friend gave me that one to try because we had been talking about it and now I need a prescription and fuck.

I also still live at home because I make more than my mom does and she can't afford the house on her own, and my little brother still lives with us (he is 20, I am 25) and he is a NEET so I feel like my life is on hold because I have to support them.

>The Cuckening

4 people in scenario.1 black 24yo (me)
2 Hawaiians 42/11yo(father&son) and
1 white girl 12/13? (Probably son's gf)

>Me
In the background listening to them like I'm an NPC or somethin
>Son
Comin home from school Tellin his dad about how much money he got from his allowance and bought his dad some shoes. Then tells him his friend is comin.
>Dad
"Is it your female friend?" Teased son with a stupid look on his face."You're like your Old man. Do the things that I've been teachin you to get the ladies"
>Me
Starin
*Knocking noice in the background*
It was the friend
>me
*In my mind* "lucky son of a bitch"
Son's friend enters with dirty blonde hair and blue eyes
>son
Enters his room first and lookin at his friend doin eye gestures
>Dad
"Hi how are you? are you his gf?"
*Girl just laughed*
Then she enters the boys room and closed it
>Dad
Quickly brush his teeth and showers to wash his filth
>Me
Starin
*The dad slowly opens the door and slowly checking the two and enters*
I stand up to checked what's happenin
then i peeped into the slightly opened door and a fuckin threesome was happening...

It all happened last week

aww poor boy. pay for it be happier

Maybe u fap to much

Why R u GEH?

Nigga fuck u

gg/CvdPW8z join to see my gf nude

bbmp

Would love if that is the case.

What did I said?