Ok so just got home from a night out. Married and no sex. Strip club was awesome with full on pussy fingering...

Ok so just got home from a night out. Married and no sex. Strip club was awesome with full on pussy fingering. Get home and bank account is missing £200. Don’t remember the transaction. What do?

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Report to your bank are you that stupid ?

Thing is I think she tricked me into going to cash machine for more money. I was licking her tits. Not a normal thing for a gneral dance but she kept putting her pussy in my face.

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Weird flex it doesn't matter how it happened you report it to the bank what is so hard to understand about that ?

And if you took the money out then that is on you and realize you got played by a thot

I’m now in bed with wife but can’t go sleep due to the big fuck up that I’ve made. Morning is going to kill me. Any crazy ideas?

Have sex with your wife ?

Yeah I took the money out in the club. She helped me transfer the money from my bills account to the card while we were in the club

Yeah that is my first plan. Then she might check account

Why would she do that do you make it a habit of coming home at late hours and banging your wife ?

No, been a tough time. Not fucked her in a while she has been depressed. She said go out and have fun tonight, I didn’t realise it would end up like this though.

Then be an adult my dude and own up to you're fuck ups and beg forgiveness

"if you performed your womanly duties and fucked me more, I wouldn't have had to pay £200 to get knuckles deep in someone's tuna tunnel.

Realistically it's your fault."

Push the blame on her. She'll be understanding

Not that she’s ugly though, I love her and still think she is hot as fuck. Just that we haven’t got it on for a while.

That’s what scares me. When she wakes up in the morning I’m gonna be fucked.

Assume you're posting from a relatively modern piece of technology? Best take your ass to cash generator or CEX when they open

Dont know how I’ll convince her of this scenario but maybe an option.

Yeah ha old iPad. Any way to trick her into doing something so I can say. Well there goes that cash..? Still pissed so not in the best of minds. Will post pics of her for real help

Dude I was fucking kidding. That would be as much use as trying to baptise a cat.

No wonder a stripper manager to con you.

I mean, realistically you could buy some magic beans, plant them and climb the beanstalk away from your problems? I'll post you some for £200. Great price for magic beans.

"grocery shopping while hungry"

Ok yeah well as you can see I’m still wasted. So my ideas are fucking stupid but I’m wasted so don’t make sense anyway. She’s gonna kill me ain’t she and I’ve got no....can’t think of word.

Just tell her you had to loan money to a friend? And then ask your friend to testify to that if she asks. It’s so simple, be creative.

Or did you withdraw at the club? If so that’s on you for being retarded

She's your wife dude, she will probably be pissed but only you know to what extent.

Check the statement to see what the transaction went through as. If it's the name of the club or "titties Inc" then you're definitely screwed and you're gonna have to take it on the chin.

If it goes through as "XY entertainment" or shit then you may be able to pass it off as a casino/gambling. She will still be pissed but much less than if she found out you wore a stripper like a puppet.

Is your wife at least hot?

When does she wake up?

Ok still wasted but for the help priveded I say thank you and here is my wife .Well I think she’s hot. One of her for you all I guess.

Usually around 10am or so depending on the night.

Sorry I shouldn’t be posting her really, fucking vodka!

Thank you for the advice. I’ll share a pic of her for thanks I guess. Fucking vodka is awesome though.

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>Fingers stripper
>Sleeps next to wife
>Op still manages to be a massive faggot.

Stop being a faggot.
Just a crazy idea from chan^2

Yeah thanks I know I fucked up.

Balls? Brains? Wife? Tell us what you don't have

Well everyone knows the stripper managers are much harder to outsmart than regular strippers

Erm well the cash for one. Need to fucking find a way of making some qucik to put back in the bank.

>full on pussy fingering.
>What do?
Let check your fingers for herpes.

Lol you totally spent the money yourself, you knob. You can't blame it on the bitches in the club if you're an idiot.

>Don't remember the transaction

>This whole message

So you did remember the transaction. Fag.

Take pics of her sleeping. Prove it.

How to check? Should I lick it?

Like before she wakes up quick? You could probably walk out to the corner and suck some dick.

Go to a doctor for sexual transmitted diseases.

Post your PayPal email and a photo of your sleeping wife with a timestamp right now and I'll probably even PayPal you the full two hundred quid myself lol. However I don't think you even have a wife so it's all good

Girl is promiscuous. Call her a jezebel whore. Get tired of that. Call her a slut. Get tired of that. Call her a tramp. Get tired of that. Call her a hoe. Get tired of that. Call her a that hoe over there. The fuck nigga? Your generation dumb af.

Fine here you go.

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Write the current date and time on a piece of paper and put it there. Take a photo. That's proof

Front. At least show her tits even if they're in underwear

I have that duvet cover. Those sheets suck though. Get some silver rayon bamboo sheets. Youre welcome.

Can someone reup this

Not here to post a load of her nudedNah I know she’s my slut. Last one for a thank you to all help. Need to get sleep before she wakes up

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Don't want her face re adding then?

No.

Ok

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Not in that position though no