My fiance died two weeks ago this Friday. He's been gone 12 days and I can't seem to do anything to feel better for more than an hour or so. I've never cried so much in my whole life as I have the few weeks leading up to his death and the time after. He had stage 4 cancer and terminal, and we both knew that this was coming for a year or so now. I knew he had cancer when we first met almost 3 years ago, but I didn't care, I wanted to be with him. I had to quit my job and take care of him but I loved him so very much, it didn't bother me to do things for him. He was only 36 when he died. I'm only 25. I feel like I have my whole life ahead of me and that it's already over, like I can't remember how to live. I had to move back in with my parents and I think about him constantly. He loved me so much more than anyone I have ever met, it was so amazing being around him. Now I just don't know what to do. I know it will eventually get better, but I'm so tired of crying.
Have any of you had a really significant personal loss? How did you cope?
Thank you, and it's my first close loss, so I'm still not really sure how I'm even supposed to deal with it
I can't get myself exited for anything that normally works. It's like I can't even get my body motivated
I just wish that it could start getting better now. It's miserable waiting.
I really appreciate all the replies guys, thank you
William Murphy
I know how you feel. My favorite anime body pillow finally got so covered in dried cum last week that a family of rats ate it for protein. Better to have loved and lost I guess!
Don't get me wrong, I'm incredibly grateful for the time that we had together. I got very lucky to have experienced such happiness. I'm thankful for all that we got to do and see, and we really tried to make the most of it since we knew that the time was limited. I have no regrets about any of it, not even 'what ifs', and I consider that very lucky as well.
Adrian Ward
He's not hurting anymore. No more sickness, pain, procedures, doctors, chemo, medication, no more of any of those things he hated. I find a lot of comfort in that.
Andrew Fisher
I'm so sorry for your loss OP in time hope you get better...
Asher White
Allow the grief to work its way through you. At some point you will be able to have new interests in life. Personal or otherwise. For now you're just going through the motions, which is fine . Those are the supports which keep you from falling apart, daily life, little responsibilities and even leisure time. At some point you will stop thinking of him every hour of every day. Then not even every day and eventually only at certain events times or circumstances that make you remember. This is not something to feel guilty about. Allow yourself to feel joy if it presents itself to you, this is not a betrayal of your loved one. Show appreciation for the comfort given by others even if you don't feel it. Your emotions are on standby, or in the queue so to speak, you'll process them later. Support offered now will help you cope later. Most of all allow for the future and future opportunities to enter your realm of possibilities. You don't have to do anything with it, just accept that there is a future for you and your current suck will, at some point lose it sharp edges and perhaps take a more modest place in your state of being.
I lost a young daughter. It never goes away completely
God speed user
Jack Gonzalez
The pain wont go away you just learn to cope with it in due time. One day you will smile again, and things wont seem so bad it just will take time
Ryder Allen
I give my condolences, OP. Grieving is normal for a loss like this. You will find a way to move on with his memory, give yourself more time. Reach out to loved ones and friends if you haven't already. What are your fondest memories with him?
Julian Young
Sorry for your loss. The important is to remember the good times, the laughs, the love. It's important to make them proud and strive to grow even more. Now you live for you and for him and know that what you could do, you did it, his last years he got to spend them with you and something like that is what made the difference, being in the company of a loved one can make a last journey so much easier.
Now I just need to tell you, Tits or GTFO
Robert Hughes
Tits or gtfo
Nathan Anderson
Thank you
Thank you for such a thoughtful response. You're right about all of it. I've tried to be thankful for everyone who reached out and to be appreciative of the things people have done for me. Im fortunate to have so many caring people in my life. I just feel like everyone is tried of me being a downer after all of this, so I feel like I can't really talk about it unless it gets really bad again. I'm sorry to hear about your daughter, that must have been horrible and I can't even imagine how hard it was.
You're right
We used to play a lot of video games together and watch stupid movies. He was a disabled veteran, so we had a lot of time together since he wasn't able to work. We would go to museums and art festivals, renaissance fairs, just dorky stuff. He was super into DnD and MMOs. We would also go to thrift stores and see who could find the weirder thing. He enjoyed long drives too, so we would find restaurants an hour or so away to go to and just enjoy the ride and listen to our favorite music. I still listen to things from our playlist daily. I played a lot of that music for him the day he died, too. I promised him that I would hold his hand when he died, and I did. I hope it was comforting to him, even if he wasn't fully aware of what was going on.
Sebastian Turner
He told me he only did his last rounds of chemo for me, when he came out of remission the third and fourth time he didn't want to go through it at all. I know I made him happy in the end, and that's important to me. Thank you for reminding me of that.
And I'm sorry but I'm gonna have to decline, don't want to derail my own thread
No thank you
Parker Fisher
When someone close to you is lost, it will feel like they took a part of you with them. The pain will gradually diminish, but the wound stays. Try to keep this in mind: those that pass away want you to live fully, just as you would want those that survive you to live fully. Thank the Lord for the gift that was your time together. May His blessing and peace be with you.
Jack Ramirez
Stay strong and live for him, OP. You can make him proud by pulling through and still making a fantastic life for yourself. The road will be long, but you will find happiness again.
Cameron Sanchez
That was very sweet, thank you.
Chase Murphy
Thank you. I want to make him proud of me. I'm sure he already was, but I want to be strong for him and for myself.
