I plan on going missing/disappearing on everyone and everything I know either tomorrow or in the next few days. By then...

Stop being a faggot. Either kill yourself or cut the shit out and get on with your life. If it sucks so much, change it. If you're unhappy with yourself, change it.
Quit looking for sympathy or easy ways out. Life is hard, work it out or just be a pussy bitch and kill yourself.

I know that I can get over it, but the mental and emotional pain I'll have to endure from it are simply not worth it.

hitchhike. maybe someone will do it for you, maybe you'll just get away. pick a destination like medford oregon or key west florida and start walking with your thumb out

If you can't get thru shit at 19 might as well pack it up tbh you won't make it past 21. Being alone doesn't give you an excuse to be a lazy cunt

>I know that I can get over it
get over what?

I don't want sympathy, but I do want the easy way out. I already know that I am going through with this.

There’s always another way, this doesn’t need to be done. You can always find help, there’s millions of people struggling with stuff like this every minute of every day. Channel your sorrow and anguish into something more. The most depressed people are also some of the most creative and brilliant. I have no idea what’s happened to you in your past, I don’t know what you believe in, or what your interests are, but I have enough faith to know that you can use all of the experiences from your life, good and bad, to do something great. Make everything worth it, every doodle in a notebook, every song you’ve listened too, every hug you’ve gotten, every sunset you’ve seen, every movie you’ve enjoyed, or anything at all. Make it worth something wonderful.

You're right.

So end it, and ghost everyone. Restart yourself while you're at it.
A while ago I hit a mildly similar point, just poofed from work and my family and friends, left my rental. Not a whole "Into The Wild" type thing. A mental breakdown I guess. Just packed a backpack and wandered around. Didn't sleep for a few days, took buses. I got lucky, found a decent public park and it had a bathroom that locked from the inside at a certain time. So it was a decent spot to sleep safely. So I camped there, and just little by little as a homeless day laborer I sorted my mess out. Got cleaning gigs, went to food pantries and humanitarian assistance hubs. Libraries. Traveled around, met all kinds of folks. Ended up being a reboot I needed. Sometimes the litost you're overwhelmed by can form into the new beginning that your suicidal mind really wanted. Kill what's killing you, somehow. Whatever it takes, it's your existential warfare.

If you truly wanted death, you wouldn't of even posted this.

I can deal with the verbal abuse and knowing that the people that are closest to me or people that I trusted have lost respect for me and I have lost respect for them, but I haven't wanted to live for the longest time now anyways. I seriously need to get away from everyone for good. I am a burden to everyone and society.

Thank you, user, but this has to be done.

>I am a burden to everyone and society.
you're burdening this thread with your fucking whining. go do something, if you can't find someone to help you're not fucking looking. and go ahead and leave first, just do one fucking nice thing for one fucking person who needs it before you kys yourself

drama queen

Maybe you're right, maybe I just need to get away from everyone instead of offing myself, but either way if I change my mind or not, I do plan on disappearing.

What other tips can you give me?

Ah dude, billions of people on the planet and you have the audacity to think they or you matter. Shits meaningless so why does it mean so much to you, your fuck ups and theirs? Learn interpersonal skills and build new bonds with some other monkey on this dirt ball. Or be a loner, fuck. Your 19yr old brain is still developing into adulthood, you're at the climax of emo adolescent angst. You can't fathom that shit happens, that you learn from your misyakes and the mistakes of others and you grow up into being a functional adult with the decades.

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keep yourself and clothes clean
you can walk through restaurants and pick up food at tables after people leave but before they are bussed. DON'T EVER TAKE TIP MONEY
dumpsters are a great source of food, fast food dump all their errors, grocery stores and bakeries will throw out tons of shit at the expire date.
a one man tent from a garage sale can be your best friend.
you can youtube how to jump trains.
you can make money with a cardboard sign anywhere. you can literally just sit with an empty cup and people will guiltily give you money.
there are communes all over of homeless that will do shifts standing by the road and share the days proceeds.
hitchhiking is still a thing.
pack light.
starting walking is the hardest part

If you want painless... Death is a really bad idea.
See,
I am God The Father of Jesus Christ
I died in 2012 and took the world with me and it was the worst experience ever.
But now everyone is immortalized in my mind forever so all is well.
But if you die you are gomma lose everything and it will be really painful as you are loved.

I don't care if anyone cares for me at this point in my life. Everything is so disconnected from reality. Chances are, when my family and "friends" hear the news they'll just say whatever smug comment they were waiting to make.

if the restaurant is too nice to walk though and skim some leftovers, hang out outside and people may give you boxed leftovers

>I'll not take my antidepressants so I can make sure I'm depressed enough to kill myself
Are you serious? This is stupid.
Killing yourself is a waste. You have a life, and if you're going to leave everything behind to go somewhere else, then do it. Maybe you'll find happiness somewhere else. But don't kill yourself. It's a pointless waste that will only end up hurting your family in terrible ways

I care bro.

How may I protect myself and be discreet about getting food in restraunts? Should I bring extra clothes? How do I actually hitchhike?

Depends where you live. I got lucky, because the streets are brutal. You can lurk various homeless/assistance subs on reddit for actually decent and positive advice concerning this. There's info and insights on how to navigate that route of living. Again I lucked out with finding a safe sleepspot, and found ways to rebuild my shit by just being in the right place at the right time. It's ironic as fuck, my life prior was just nothing but bad luck and shitshows. Maybe it's the release of everything so fucked that I held onto. You dont even realize how good it feels to fully let go of it. Of everything that majes you want to end it, shit you can't ever put into words to just melt from your conscious little by little. Took time and a drastic new lifestyle for me. But yeah man, I dont know your specifics here on what exactly is a next logical step for you to take. I'm willing to talk more, or advise you to lurk those reddit subs that have guides and practical advice on being homeless.

I appreciate it, user. Even if I do end up ultimate giving into my suicidal thoughts I just want to say you have all been more supportive than anyone in my immediate friends and family.

Amos 5:6 kjv seek me and live

>Chances are, when my family and "friends" hear the news they'll just say whatever smug comment they were waiting to make
You know this isn’t true. You may not think it, but there are people who care about you. If you off yourself, they’ll be devastated. You may think killing yourself is doing the world a favor, but it’s not. It’s just gonna put a depressing burden on everyone else

I am willing to talk more to you about this and reconsider suicide, maybe just maybe I just need a lifestyle change.

Been there and jesus chat line stopped me. I never laughed so hard. Just find a way to laugh. My life was shit until 25, it really does pass. Do not kill yourself user. Be saved by the lulz like I was.

An hero on cam or shut the fuck up pussy

They won't be devastated; It'll be more like "meh, guess I never have to deal with him again."

Also you're getting more than the usual "neck yourself faggot" comments on here. Fellow btards care enough for you to try to post anything positive so relax man, it just shows that you're really not as alone as you think you are because irl there are a few decent strangers too.

walk with traffic on the shoulder, thumb out as you hear cars pass. you can turn around but it takes some effort. slower traffic / highways with a shoulder are best. interstates you can get in trouble for just walking and it's hard to come to a stop from 70+ mph for a hitch hiker.

the restaurant thing is tough, you have to act like you belong and wait for an opportunity. you can stick with dumpsters and leftovers if you don't feel like you can pull off taking a half eaten burger or something.

Then do it already pussy you won’t accept help or anything you coward

Neat man so lmk how I can chat with you besides this thread so I can help properly and try to find resources for you.

It seems that the strangers are nicer to me than my own family and friends.

>maybe I just need a lifestyle change.
I mean it's hard to judge from the thread alone but it sure sounds like leaving would improve your world a lot.

Suck it up and deal with your shit. A lot of people have it a lot worse. Go join the Army and watch your buddies brains get blown off.

Your 19 years old - your entire life is in front of you. Don't waste it on a week of feeling like a shitty human. Who knows what you will accomplish with the life you are given.

What would you like to communicate through?

I personally don't think I could pull it off. Would you recommend stealing if need be?

The withdrawals of suddenly stopping your antidepressants might make things worse. It sounds like you just need to know your not alone. Which you aren't. You're never truly alone when you're online, even with vpn

But seriously, you want to throw away potentially 60+ good years for 19 bad ones.

What was so bad? I was raped by a family member for 10 years of my life. Ill he damned if I ever let that bastard win.

Live for you, fuck everyone else. Anons are all you need

I will definitely be more lonely, but as much as I have tried to hold on, I think I am ready to move on. Sure, I'll be more lonely, but at the very least I will be able to make new/better more meaningful friendships and without having to worry about social dynamics or my cunt of a mother and her constant crticism all the time

Faggot just wants attention

I’ll be blunt OP. You don’t want to kill yourself. If you did, you would of done it already and never have made this thread. You making this thread shows you’re looking for some attention. You may want attention, but you don’t want to die. So instead of trying to get some Yea Forums fame, go fix your life

That's why meeting new people is key, you can start from scratch and try to build up relations again with new perspective and nothing from the past defining you. You're so young and I'm trying not to be condescending here since I'm 31 but the days pass to weeks and months and it truly heals your shit but ONLY if you actively move forward and do new things. But I remember at 19 how final it all seemed, your brain is atm literally psychologically incapable of being cognitively aware of that (thats gotta,be why so many young guys anhero at around that age) ....that you'll survive this shit. It'll pass, you'll grow.

>recommend stealing if need be
never. worst thing you can do is put yourself on the wrong side of the law over something petty. seriously everywhere throws out a LOT of food, if you're really hungry a half eaten burger is a godsend. also don't be afraid to ask for help, people are more likely to give you food than money because you can't booze or shoot is up with a leftover box.

again, once you look you'll be fucking amazed at how much food is thrown out. take taco bell for instance, they have a bag on the line and all the fuckups go straight into the bag. it's otherwise clean, no "trash" can go in because it's on the line and it's pitched with the rest of the trash (from the lobby cans). you just have to find that bag and there's literally pounds of food in it, untouched. some will even be in wrappers.

Up to you dude I'm old and only use email but I'll get whatever app that works for you.

Just stop existing already, overpopulation is a thing, and you're blatantly useless.

Don’t kill yourself man I’ve been struggling with depression my whole life it goes in waves in all honesty just talk to anyone if you don’t have anyone just talk to someone people are genuinely companionate like the other day I was talking to some homeless guy because people are open to talk don’t kill yourself man your only 19 life gets better

Lol savage

KILL SOME JEWS THEN DOME YOURSELF

OR FIREFIGHT THE FIRST RESPONDERS

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Jeez why eat trash? when soup kitchens and every denomination of church offer packaged meals as well as hot meals multiple times a week. I ate 5x a week from figuring out my eay around various benevolence ministries from a multitude of churches. Plus while hanging out at parks, folks would offer bbq plates to me leftover unopened party snacks. Shit guess I got lucky when I was homeless, it wasn't that bad for my season of it. Never ate outta dumpsters.

Nooo don't kill yourself, your pussy too fat

I'm 20, I've been feeling the same way although I have a little bit of cash and a vehicle. I don't think I'll run away though, I think I might just go to a place I have happy memories of, like this park with a fountain that me and my partner went to a few times. I think I might get a coffee, and listen to some music and just cut my wrists open, I'm hoping I'll pass out from blood loss and just go to sleep. It's been on my mind a lot lately, when all you have are memories then what good is living any longer. I've spent 2 years hoping things would change. I just wish I had a time machine. From the bottom of my heart, I hope things look up for you. I really do.

Please, please don't. Talk to someone, trust me it helps. Be brave. Stay strong.

Accurate was the word you're looking for.

So stop typing, grab a bottle, and go. Fuck all you losers that cry but won't die. I'm depressed, but I'm better than you and know that it'll be fine tomorrow. Kys.

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Thank you.

Hahahahahaha

bitch I've been suicidal for almost 15 years, just make the decision to play video games until you get a heart attack on the keyboard

[email protected].

Same to you, user. I hope things look up for you.

If you dont like your world, change it. I live alone in the woods & made mine a hedonistic paradise. I do whatever I want everyday. Our "society" is a pathetically disfunctional joke. It's not you, it's them. Just drop out of it & make a life of your own

Don't do it man. I don't know who you are, but please don't do it. You are not a burden to society. Someone is gonna see something in you and love you like you've never thought. If it's your thing, you'll have beautiful children and carry on your name. You have a whole life ahead of you, remember, you're only 19. When I was 13 I thought all this stupid shit was important and would impact the rest of my life, but it obviously didn't. I forgot about it, and you probably will with this. I promise things will get better for you, and even if you're not religious, I'll pray for you, and maybe you could do the same :)

Have you ever wanted to get into metal? Well now is your chance!
I literally posted the best albums I know in this thread.
If you want to, hop on in and we will talk about these albums I posted.
Thanks for reading. Here's the link:
se ya shits

You're absolutely right.

I am not very religious, but I will pray for you, user. I appreciate the kind words.

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