How do I become american (US)?

Vote for Julian Castro. Immigration system is broken many people can't get green cards. After your green card it's a piece of cake just apply after a few years.

Guns and shit.

Can you remove boarder control absolutely? I want to move to US.
Mexicans won't find job, but I has moneys

Apply legally through Citizenship and Immigration Services.

How can I apply, if I'm not in the US?

Stay in your country.

>How do I become american (US)?

First you have to believe in yourself, you have to KNOW being an American is FAR superior than being citizen or any other State present or past.

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Get a lawyer

Cyкa блядь. Пoйдy пyтинy пoжaлyюcь чтoбы вaм aтoмнyю бoмбy зaпycтили, пидopы

I know. I should become mexican first.
Being white, they won't stop me at boarder.

This isn't bad advice. You'll have to repeat a lot of stuff like that, and believing it helps you lie more effectively under pressure, not to mention making all the hassle seem more worth it.
>I has moneys
Have you examined our tax structure? You might find Canada or Switzerland more manageable.

usa.gov/

Or just speak English and be white. Government dgaf about illegal immigrants from Europe.

Tons of illegal Irish, Ukrainians, etc, in the states.

>Have you examined our tax structure?
No taxes for illegals. No problems.

>Or just speak English and be white. Government dgaf about illegal immigrants from Europe.
>Tons of illegal Irish, Ukrainians, etc, in the states.
That is interesting, because I'm exactly Russian.

But how it works? You come with tourist visa, it expires, cops don't check you. Next what? You can't get job or anything, right?

Timing is very important, so, you will need to drive very fast in order to reach 88 mph. If performed successfully you should be in the easy immigration year of 1985, but if you find yourself in 1955 look for the nearest clock tower and get the fuck out of there or you'll end up fucking your mom again.

88 mph is how much kilometers?

I'm sorry, but I don't know how to convert miles into ghetto measurements.

You'll want a visa that allows you to work to start with, then spend your "vacation" getting a job. With a job already, you might get a work visa, that you can renew several times while going through the citizenship application process. Do you have any degrees? There may be programs available to help you get started in exchange for teaching your native language to ungrateful little shitheads.

Piss in young womens mouths and fuck their teeny asshole whilst saying yeeeeah oh yeaaaaah you’re a good little cunt. What’s that? No fucking pubic hair yeeeeeaaaaaaaaah. Then cum on their face. And make them puke yeeeeaaaaaaah!

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you dont want to become american,trust me.its a stupid country full of stupid people

>Do you have any degrees?
No full degrees (except school stuff, just first year in uni) Hm... I think I know other method.
How much does uni cost in US? No top-tier, some shithole one would be fine.

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Yep. And marry someone while you're here. Then apply for citizenship based on marriage to a US citizen. Usually have to be married for 3 or 5 years before you get a green card.

Fake news

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Like I said, America's not that great.

>And marry someone while you're here.
Who would some weird slav asshole with no moneis?

>some shithole one would be fine.
A $50K/yr isn't uncommon. Most people attending them are being swindled by banks to exploit an educational loan law.

A fatty

Hm... $200k/4 year.
Shit, property in my shithole is cheaper. Fug.
Should have bought bitcoin in 2009

Max was a god. whatever happened to him?

88 micropenisimperialunits/h is 140 km/h

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Well, I have doubts american house will withstand to fat pesons fucking...

>Me russian. How?

google N-400 US and the form from customs and immigration services should show up

marry an american - instant citizenship there

get here and apply for asylum and say youre from venuzequlalakfal;fjlsaf w/e that socialistic shithole is called

You have no conception of how advanced our bed technology is.

Hm... I must be wrong I guess. You have earthquakes and shit, so houses are stronger than they seem

Try swimming - it seems to work well.

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Hm... But what if I steal an airplane (Boeing 757 or 767) and fly to US?

Ah yes, the american homes

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thats illegal, we dont take too kindly to those whomst do an illegal before theyre even a citizen

As an American xpat living in the UK, I wouldn't suggest going to the US, unless you're rich. Americans have been so stripped of their dignity that they are no longer affected by violations of basic human rights and forefingers and prisoners have it the worst. If I was you, I would try to immigrate to the UK or even the EU.

Swimming works better with child in upper apparel

It would be stolen from other country, no illegal. It is illegal in country or origin, not us.

this coming from a fag in the UK, hows the shit weather and the muslim mayors cock taste?

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>Be a shitskin, nigger, poo, or chink
>Enter illegally and vote dem

>He says this as the UK becomes a muslim police state
U.S isn't perfect but the UK and EU are shitshows

>would try to immigrate to the UK
Dude, it is literally Russia, but with bongs. Even Mexico would be more free.

Okay, I can pretend being mexican, since I know some spanish.
But what will happen if I vote republican?

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What the mayor of uk?

Join Trump’s army when we purge the commie liberal filth from this great nation with flame throwers.

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>foreigners
damn auto correct

It actually rains less here
I'm not familiar with the muslim mayors cock (I'm not very political or thirsty)

>vote
You have a lot to learn about being American.

What is it, 2 years army?

2 years army.

I like trying things against handbook. I broke lathe like that.

First, you have to lose all sense of morality.
Then unlearn most of your English. Grunts will be sufficient from now on.
Oh, and gain lots of weight.

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>But what will happen if I vote republican?
No one will know

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>I'm not familiar with the muslim mayors cock
why dont i believe this, strange

Should have killed those shitskin goblins the literal second they walked across the border.

Epic. This is what Im gonna do

Good luck with that

Sure

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if op is a cute Latvian girl, or even a 4/10 he shouldnt have a problem bagging a btard to get citizenship

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I liked don rickles. It’s a shame they didn’t pickle him. Pickled rickles might have been brought back in the future to control the sensitive pussies.

Okay, which state should I select?
What about Alaska? I like cold weather. Your local seagull there is badass, but what IT/EE nigger would do there?

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I'm moscow nigger slav untermesch, so...

Then OP would be a 'she' and not a 'he' of course we all know there's no women on the internet.

Literally just show up faggot, border's open.

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Any state besides California and New York are ok. If you like the cold I might suggest Idaho

Also, nobody would search for immigrant there, unlike southern states, like Texas or New Mexico.

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Mmmmm snickers

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>California
No, they have some insane laws, fuck them. But climate control is nice there

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alaska is a frigid desolate wasteland, dont go there.

colorado if you like drugs/bitter cold during winter

anywhere north of north carolina if you like mildly hot summer/bullshit freezing winter

the lower below you get from that, the less cold winters but more hot summers get

Did you misread? I said any state BESIDES California and New York are fair game. California is a third world shithole, I should know. I live here.

nationality is a social construct
just decide you are one and cross the border by any means necessary

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>alaska is a frigid desolate wasteland, dont go there.
Why? Do they have walmart and maccas there? I don't need anything else, since amazon exists.

damn they look drunk...

I'm currently living in a "bad area" up north and all the Britts are scared to death of this place, but it's a cake walk, cops never bother me, I've never been mugged. What I've learned is that British people don't have a clue of what a real ghetto is like.

No, I just sorta like pajeet industries there, but I don't want to get cancer living there

Do you have a license to post political memes or watch porn?
UK is russia, but with weird language and muslims.

Cancer is the least of your problems in mexifornia.

>What I've learned is that British people don't have a clue of what a real ghetto is like.
Wait what? Their capital city is a literal non-white ghetto. What the heck are you talking about?

Online

I know. California makes some shitty law, and fucking everybody worldwide copies it sayin' "dude americans make good laws"...
If I had nukes - I would nuke it first.

the famous rapper pitbull went to a walmart opening or something at the one up there and mcdicks is in every state

alaska is remote and the internet speeds suck there

any other state on the canadian border will be really cold in the winter if thats what you like

as for people major cities are hubs for the nignogs to go ape so you might want some rural area

no blue(democratic) states either, gun laws are retarded in them

I would help. I used to say "Just let me get out of here first" now I couldn't care less.

Wait a moment. I don't understand whole thing.
What should you have in order to be eligible for citizenship? Nothing?
Shit, I have been playing in wrong lottery entire this time

form n-400 from the us customs and immigration website mango

Tijuana and tequila shots

I never see any cops, so, I don't think anyone cares what you do here. Also people smoke pot in the open here and I was told that they can't even get arrested for it, instead they get a caution.

Racially it's about the same as the US, but there is no violent crime and no police presence, so, even though the buildings might look scary to a britt, but it's not really ghetto.

>Be a lawful permanent resident for 5 years (3 years if married to a US citizen).
Here is the problem.
Sheit. How do I become pajeet in US for 5 years?

Eat borgor an drive big truck and become fat man yes bery good

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oh yeah im an idiot, the green card program has to be done first. thats how you get in and establish residency and after the 5 years if you earn enough good boy points you can apply for full citizenship with the n-400

you get good boy points by not committing crimes

>good boy points
China system already?

>the green card program has to be done first.
How to get greencard, if not married?

this is the form you want, no marriage required, just says your not an american but want to come here and work as one with permanent residency

i-485 form

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Lick Rosie O'Donnell's roll cheese

>Be a cucklord over 200 kg fatboi who cant get his tiny dick erect sissy fag worshiping BBC

Dubs checked
Citizenship granted
Get a green card nigga

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The US customs is awful, be prepared to for long stay in a detention centre.

literally this, dont be a criminal and give in all the paperwork they ask for. its literally the easiest thing

Join this discord... Why the FUCK not???
discordapp.com\invite\mhHPe8D
GO GO GO

-11k

start swimming paco

that's only for asylum seekers.

Don't forget to bring your own soap, toothbrush and toothpaste - it's like a Catholic sleepover camp. Wash that taste out of your mouth.

Should have bought Netflix in 2008

Interesting.
You better deliver this year. Why (((Diversity))) lottery never works for me?
I still don't get how can you even try getting permanent residency, being a non-us-nigger without job and not refugee.
No, gracia.

Should have bought AMD white it was cheap.

Its disgusting compared to what? Mexicans? Russians?

Only thing I will miss from my shithole.

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They keep that information from us too

>american marriage and divorce laws
Never. Ever. marry someone from usa.

But what about gay marriage?

How pajeets get hired in US?

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>Why (((Diversity)))
"Diverse" in the US means not white. If you're Russia, odds are you're white
Come over and buy guns, Boris
Also, post Natasha's fine ass

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>First, you have to lose all sense of morality.
It is non-existent already
>Then unlearn most of your English. Grunts will be sufficient from now on.
Nigga, my no speak english gut
>Oh, and gain lots of weight.
Already. 170 cm 110 kg. I don't know how much is that in units of freedom

>Diverse" in the US means not white. If you're Russia, odds are you're white
But what if I dive in sewer water, and not wash. Will I pass shit skin color test?

we smerter than bergers

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Mexicans >> Russians

How I become as smart as you?
I listen to tunak tunak tun 24/7, but not get that extra smart.

t. MexicANO.

>But what if I dive in sewer water, and not wash. Will I pass shit skin color test?
I'm sorry, we've reached our shit-skin quota for the century. Try again next time

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you can start by attempting to cross our southern border in violation of our immigration laws

Aй блядь. Enough. I'm coming in anyway, but this time on nuclear bomb, not plane.

So, I should buy ticket to Mexico first

>arbitrary retarded rollercoaster invented in europe
>It's called aluminum not aluminium - said the british guy that invented it
Why does the rest of the world hate europe so much?

Dubs again. You can nucleick my balls.

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I call it chinesium, because 6061 is exactly it.

Nice trips. I will get green card based on gay marriage. Prepare ur anus

Ok that's kind of impressive.

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you just need good genetics
mixing with blacks is bad you know

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Ok. Can I open a company in US, having no citizenship or anything?

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>based on gay marriage.
Sir gay
I'd be honored if you did

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Or should I keep killing myself, until I'm born as american?

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Have you ever wanted to get into metal? Well now is your chance!
I literally posted the best albums I know in this thread.
If you want to, hop on in and we will talk about these albums I posted.
Thanks for reading. Here's the link:
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Have you ever wanted to get a fucking dick in a mouth? Well, now is your chance!
I literally put that dick into your mouth

I know. I become Hitler, or KKK type of thing illegally in US, get over 9000 people, and become president (or should I say leader, great leader) or united reich, purging niggers and judens that allow them to grow

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If trips - I will win DV 2021

Fucking niggers.
If dubs - I will get pajeet tier job in los estados unidos

If singles - I would suck my own dick

sheit.

Welcome to /U/ (On The Discord App)

Discord Link
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A server with...
>Actual *E-Girls*
>Boipussy, Nudes, Yea Forums Memes, NSFW, VC, Megalinks, Voila, Dropbox, Kik swap, Nude swap, Porn swap, Snapchat, pornchat etc

Post what you want Mods don't give a shit. NzhE

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america is expensive as fuck. we have a homeless epedemic here becaaaauuuse theirs too many fuckin people here. u fall down on yur luck out here and yur up shit creek frfr. u might not ever be able to climb out. if yur not both smart, have a big dick ( too pull a good woman) tall-ish, handsome and have at least 2k in pocket u can forget about it. oh yur gona need a car too immediatley btw bc our shit greedy oil and gas companies burned and destroyed mass public transpotation about 70 years ago.

>this little understanding of immigration
>this is the understanding anti-immigration people have about immigration

there are 3 ways to get US citizenship:
-you buy it (as in, you're rich), requires lawyerpower
-you are hired by an influential company (almost certainly not gonna happen, even if say you do work that's very valuable, they'd rather you work here and then have you leave when you're done)
-you get married

you do not need to speak english, you don't need to have adequate knowledge of the country and the time it takes to get it, depends on the amount of money (plus maybe education) you have

the immigration laws encourage money flowing in and valuable people brought in to be used, they can't care less whether you'd like to live here or not

Move somewhere, just not to Texas. The big cities are filling the fuck up and traffic stretches for fucking miles. Not to mention new drivers who keep moving here from other countries who keep causing accidents and making a 15 minute trip 2 hours. The weather is too fucking hot so its hard to go outside for longer than like 2 hours without getting heatstroke in the summer. It floods every year, tornadoes, ball-bustingly high humidity in the wetter areas, and no matter where you live, a big ass 3 day thunderstorm WILL TERMINATE YOUR ELECTRICITY AND AIR CONDITIONING AND YOU WILL FUCKING DIE. Good people and food though, good for maybe a week at most.

Can anybody suggest the most idyllic country to become a citizen of? Tahiti is just an island but do they have free health care too? What's funny is Mick Jagger has a shit ton of money and the country he goes to for heart care? USA. Follow the money.

Attached: avatarloveb.jpg (367x324, 27K)

Welcome to /U/ (On The Discord App)

Discord Link
https:\\discord.io\KvmJ3kb

A server with...
>Actual *E-Girls*
>Boipussy, Nudes, Yea Forums Memes, NSFW, VC, Megalinks, Voila, Dropbox, Kik swap, Nude swap, Porn swap, Snapchat, pornchat etc

Post what you want Mods don't give a shit. kqbi

Attached: 1562132784.018.jpg (707x1000, 143K)

This is why I will never move to Texas, every person I know that has moved there regretted it , they all left as soon as possible. The food , and people part is very true tho.

We use both, rest of the world just isn't capable of learning something harder.

As an American I agree, please migrate to the UK.

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>we've reached our shit-skin quota
You mean exceeded

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Based goatse poster

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start hormone therapy
state your gender is fluidqueer
there you go

Never leave the US, forget that other countries exist, hate immigrants even though you are one yourself, and pray to a flag.

He was in jail last time I checked

Ask for that citizenship in your next life.

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HEzl

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