i was gonna kill myself but then i decided id hit up my dealer about heroin. he referred me to a guy and i did my first hit last night. it was chill and seems like a good way to go out. i imagine ill overdose or something in a few months. i honestly don't have it in me to just flat out kill myself, but gradually doing it through drug addiction is totally doable.
everything is pretty surreal rn but i feel quite liberated. my first hit last night was basically like killing myself. i completely accepted my fate at that point. what followed was pure bliss. i awoke this morning with no feeling of dread or anxiety. all that bullshit just fades away when you fully accept death.
ill post daily updates here. i think this is gonna be a fun month. i might try to move in with some other junkies and get weird or something.
i currently still have a job and apartment, but ive thinking about selling or something and quitting my job. ill probably get fired soon anyways. i didn't give any fucks today at work, and it showed.
believe it or not there are millions of others going through what you are. Find help. Help is all over. A quick google search will help you locate free help centers, addiction counselling etc.
Yeah...you just did a thing lol. Best of luck man. I guess if you really wanna become an hero, H is the way. Go out with a bang? Just don't get strung and suddenly want to live. Dope hell is the worst. Otherwise, do some shit and have fun with it. Try not to hurt others.
Hook me up op. My dude moved... Gf left me and took our kid, I'm jobless, I'm kind of disabled, and I'm miserable every day and I don't have the balls to shoot myself...
Anthony Hernandez
Interesting post god speed user
Elijah Roberts
Bro. Just hit the gym, start online dating, and become an alcoholic, it's much better than doing heroin. If you don't care what people think, just change your life up accordingly. Don't OD and be a punk bitch
Alexander Perez
Look at this loser
Noah Jackson
I don't think you're making the right decision, and I think if you're at the end of your rope, you should seek help and talk your problems with others. Hell, if you can't do that and your current situation is leading you to suicide, quit your job and move or something, just roll the dice if you're unable to escape otherwise.
That being said, I relate to your post, and the idea of going out in a drug haze, being liberated by the thought there's no more struggle - I get it. I don't think I'm in a rational state of mind either, though.
Hopefully you can find a way out of your situation for something better. Whatever happens, I hope things go easier than they have been for you.
Christopher Lopez
yall are sweet. i will truly miss kind souls like yall. this really is the best decision for me. i dont expect yall to agree, but i feel really good about it.
i feel like if i make it to the dope hell stage i will just straight up intentionally overdose.
im in texas, wbu?
no, i know. ive tried all that. im actually pretty fit and not an incel. never had a problem getting girls. i developed a severe panic disorder after living off-grid in the woods for a year and haven't been able to adjust back to the real world ever since. ive also begun to develop schizophrenia and theres no cure for that.
i appreciate the sentiment of yall wanting to help, but suicide is genuinely the best option for me. i think it should be totally acceptable for someone to kill themselves if they want to. its a shame assisted suicide isnt legal
Austin Jenkins
>kinda disabled Kek.....nigger youre on Yea Forums....you are all the way disabled, you jew bastard fucktard
Ryan Williams
u r SWEET! :)
Isaac Brown
Hey man I’m in Texas for a month, visiting family. Right outside Houston, wbu?
Luis Kelly
im in austin
Ayden James
Austin here too.....over by congress
Ryder Parker
you wanna start a crack den. i might stop paying rent and wait until they evict me then move into an abandoned house or something.
im currently in east near 7th
John Robinson
go on if you want to. It really doesn't get better i acquired the same kind of feeling but without drugs. i feel sleepy all day and i lost my job i could not stand another day around normal people they are so hungry for money and unnecessary stuff. lost my savings its been six months and i still can't kill myself. im not loved also my family moved away from me,i only talk to a friend from a different continent but we are not close i just text her to calm the urge of talking to someone is like a social masturbation. wish i could just dissapear
hit up your dealer for some powerful psychedelics instead. they'll show you the way back to a fulfilled life. dont do this user. please.
Dominic Stewart
i used to be a bit of a hippie a few years back. definitely had my share of psychedelic experiences. when i look back on those days all i can think about is how delusional i was, in large part due to the psychedelics and weed.
Liam Myers
living the dream. have fun my guy.
Parker Foster
You probably won't die. You will just develop a heroin addiction and become a parasite of society.
Samuel Mitchell
dont do it user
my gf is a recovering heroin addict and it is nothing but trouble for her
Lincoln White
What happened that made you decide that you wanted to kill yourself?
Xavier Gray
man. I'm sorry you feel that way, but I can't help but argue that you may look back on your current state of mind and think you are delusional now. I really urge you to not do this, OP. there's always a reason to exist.
Lincoln Cooper
on top of that, going out as a junkie is the least dignified way to cease.
Bentley Young
This is exactly why all drugs should be legal, dude should be allowed to toss his existence away however he wants. Once he's dead there's one less addict in the gene pool, good for humanity, good for him.
That and I enjoy weed.
Josiah Stewart
I'm north Austin. Burnet 183 area.
Adam Sanders
developed severe psychological disorders that proved immune to treatment
if psychedelics taught me one thing its the unity of the universe, so even in death i will still be a part of it. ill just be leaving this current realm of perception. my life has always been a struggle against death, but the more i thought about it the more i realized it was the answer.
Nolan James
Which ones?
Sebastian Russell
eh, your free to judge me however you want once im dead. idc.
i agree. i think suicide is a part of the human evolution.
Brayden Allen
an untreatable panic disorder and schizotypal. it's evolving into schizophrenia tho
Isaac Nelson
I really love heroin, trik I use is to just do it once a month being really careful not to do it any more often than that or it's easy to slip into doing it daily which is no bueno The withdrawal sucks too much and ain't worth it
What medication are you on/trying/tried? Any triggers for the panic?
Jason Torres
so what exactly do you think was delusional about your way of thinking during your "hippie" stage?
Caleb Collins
Overdoses aren't fun, take it from someone who's needed narcan due to an accident and (suspected) attempt on my life by someone shooting me up again after I already collapsed some veins.
no, that's the worst thing about it. i just randomly start having a panic attack. i didnt have any on heroin, surprisingly. ive actually had one already since making this thread.
well, i got really into philsophy, especially absurdism. the idea of creating your own meaning in a meaningless/absurd world. with the help of psychedelics i created this whole world of purpose and meaning for myself. i also lived in a bubble. didnt really have much real world experience. i was pretty blind to a lot in my life. i tried to "see the good" in everything despite there sometimes just not being any good to see. i also developed crazy interpersonal delusions about other people. once i stopped smoking weed and taking psychedelics my mind just cleared up entirely. it was like quite literally taking off the rose colored glasses and seeing the world for what it really was. my life back then felt like a dream. it kinda was.
damn, so someone basically tried to murder you with heroin? fuckkkkk
Jace Adams
DUDE.
You have the same mindset as I do. (not saying that's a good thing either tho)
I've pretty much accepted the fact that I'm going to be depressed all my life - and anti-depressants really don't help. In fact they exacerbate the problem for me. I figured 'fuck it, I don't see anything morally wrong with drugs'. Decided to start doing opiates and boom, life became so much better. I've been using for 8 years and I've been able to control my dependence. I've barely had to do any dose increases.
Good on ya man, I'm glad somethings working for you.
Cooper Williams
What's the matter OP why do you wanna kill yourself? think it twice, i don't know what troubles are you dealing with but to kill yourself (and even worst doing it by becoming a drug adict) is not the answer, i can tell you because my brother was alcoholic and by doing this type of stuff you end up hurting so much your loved ones, and even if you don't have none then do it for yourself, you will only live once, enjoy it even if life sometimes can be shit, give up is never the answer.
Adrian King
> hit the gym > become an alcoholic
These two do not go together. Alcohol diminishes the effects of testosterone. Are you an autist?
Jaxon Hall
It's all about mindset. In his mind he thought "I'm for sure going to kill myself no matter what - I'll just try heroin because it'll probably kill me anyways." And low and behold, he's alive and found a different route. Not particularly a healthy one, but potentially manageable if he's smart enough.
obviously i've only done it once, but it seriously stopped all my afflictions. are you able to live a content life with the heroin?
Jonathan Ramirez
taking my second dose now!
Evan Jackson
Ok I don’t want to make a thread about this question but I’m a pussy when it comes to needles. Literally >be me >27yo >need to give blood >excuse me I’m nurse could you use the butterfly needle thanks >still anxious when it punctures skin Anyway what I’m asking is I just got a dude who can get me H I’ve only done pills and methadone. I’m very conscious when it comes to my drug use and never abuse only do it for the feels and drop it for months. My question is when I get this heroin idk if it’s the tar or powder but can I snort it and get just as high does it burn bad? How the drip? I would also smoke it. I’ve smoked a few oxy 30s smells just like cotton candy lol but yea any help would be great
Kayden Anderson
>Works out >not an alcoholic
You simply play on easy mode, console pleb
Joseph Rivera
utterly retarded, H way better. no shakes or shits
Xavier Reyes
Major problem of world is this. People having opinions, allowed to comment on shit, hell even vote, without having any information.
Sooo, Freud was a Cocain addict. Talk about that gene pool again you idiot?
Jim Morrison?
You stupid fuckhead do you think this world is bearable? You might be able to bear with your 2 digit IQ, some of us can not.
Adrian Brown
Ah I had done a quick read through. That's even better that you've only done it once, badass. And yeah surprisingly . 90% of the time I don't use to nod, I just use enough to stop withdrawals and lift my mood a little. Most the time it's through poppy tea because of the long half life, but if I get my hands on anything else it all becomes the same.
My life is as functional as most other's, bar a few days out the year where I plan poorly and suffer withdrawals. Even though my day to day is as functional and normal as most people's, I'd say my quality of life is slightly higher just because I'm probably a little happier than most sober souls.
Chase Fisher
>so basically someone tried to murder you with heroin? I suspect so, it wasn't a good time in my life.
Aiden Parker
I won't decide for you if you should do it, that is your own decision.
However, I do think you should try to hold on, and if you decide to do it, at least don't make it a slow suicide. I am thinking about doing it too on a regular basis, I know life isn't easy.
Listen to the album "Above" by Mad Season, Layne Staley the singer pretty much chose what you're considering and it was very sad.
Aaron Johnson
Bravo. I've often suggested this to suicidals. It's an excellent alternative. But you should start making provisions to quit now. Just the experience and label shift have changed things. You may get the best of both worlds if you quit now, and stay alive obviously. Intelligence is the evasion of future constraints.
