All the posts here are porn/happy shit. Let's get a depression thread going...

Same here but 22 man, it's rough out there

I feel like shit saying it though because on paper my life is AWESOME. No debt, my own apartment, a good paying job, family close by but because I don't have a hole to stick my dick in my life feels empty.

Maslow's hierarchy of needs man, it's nothing wrong with you, it's just something every human wants on a deeply psychological level. Straight up though, you seriously seem to have your life figured out more than 90% of people at least, and that will make it 1 million times easier not only meeting someone, but when you start dating. I've known way too many dudes out of high school that got married or had kids and their lives are just completely over now.

i aspire to change, and be in a new place in life, anything but this.. and i got off them to see how i would handle. i was convinced i could do without them, cus i mostly took them to halt my panic attacks, and also add some color to my days(which.. can be a curse too). but i think anti-depressants would of been great for people like chester bennington, cus he always wanted to 'feel no emotion'. well SSRI's can do that.

yeah life is a struggle, and i don't think people realize just how tough they are or how resistant the human brain can be. yea, i always watch the hours tick by, summer days can be long and drawn out, waiting for it to get dark so i can go to sleep and not have to think. shitty way to live. even worse if you can't sleep, and i went without 5 days sleep once, and since then i've never felt the same.

I know and I hate it. I logically don't need women. They're emotional and illogical, I saw my uncle and dad get ruined by my mom and my aunt (they didn't divorce but it's pretty clear the sex stopped a LONG time ago) and I don't want that to happen to me. Yet every day it's been gnawing at the back of my mind. Porn isn't enough anymore but I know only madness lies in the arms of women. Thanks for the encouragement, I really appreciate it.

Man, sounds like you need to get out of the house and do something. It's tough though, bu I generally go walk around the mall or something when I feel like I need to do something. What's something you enjoy doing, if anything at all? Music? Comedy?

It's tough man, I get it, I'm right there with you. Honestly all you can do is keep living and trying your best. Now honestly not all women are bad, but that doesn't mean you should also just jump at any girl that shows you any interest, it's okay to be picky man, that's how you won't end up like your dad or your uncle. My uncle did the same, married the first girl he could, went through 10 of the worst years of his life, got divorced, now his kids barely speak to either of them anymore and his ex is crazy. He's a really good guy too, just made a few really bad choices

I am still living and I'm thriving. I won't get depressed or loose motivation. Not over a lack of sex/gf
>Now honestly not all women are bad
I'm aware but they're few and far between. Also I live in California so they women are doubly insane. Yeah my dad and uncle are religious so it's more their wives are frigid religious bitches. We'll see what happens

>27 years of being the funny friend
>just finished a degree finally but it’s useless
>just kind of coasting at the moment in all aspects of life with no clear goals

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My man live your own life then, you seem like a pretty smart dude. I'm sure someone will come along eventually, keep on living and keeping it real, i'll be sending you some good vibes my dude

What degree did you get man?

I will, just gotta fight the feelings every once in a while. I like to think I am but honestly I was just dealt a really good hand in life. I got my job by sheer luck (God) but managed to keep it. We'll see even if someone comes along not sure if I should pursue. I'm not MGTOW or anything but they are right about a lot of things.

My mom took the kids.

my problem might be ambition and discipline, a lot of young people like me are lost nowadays and struggle with finding a purpose and a meaning to life, a reason to shoot up out of bed in the morning. I used to have that spring about me, but depression can make even something you enjoy(music as you said, or i do enjoy weight lifting) a little gloomy.

at this stage any change at all that will have me on a path of progression, or occupation will do me good. i was working odd shifts at a meat plant i guess you could call it, but the long shifts and destroyed sleep killed it for me. still, menial work is better than this. shit is usually spontanious especially if you put yourself out there.

>be me 39
>suffer an accident, broke all bones in my right foot.
>Career at merchant marine is over. Cannot crew ships anymore.
>more than 10 years working as a deck officer.
>Healing will take a lot of time, fuck! I became a criple, jobless cunt. Have to change career to something that will never pay what I earned before.
>Loved the sea and sailing.
>Over. Time to learn new shit.

Gen studies. It’s basically for idiots like me who cant decide on anything so they glue a bunch of classes together and call it a degree.

Why don't you start looking for a new job or something then man? Depression is tough, I deal with it too, but you can't beat it if you don't start trying to

Is your foot that badly destroyed? Can't get a replacement (forgot what they're called) or anything?

Well what do you want to do man?

it's been a while since I've seen a busy feels thread on b. So much nudity all around, no space for feelings.

join this Telegram group if you folks want, just a feels on wheels kind of thing t.me/joinchat/DTvISUEwvQQLaDeLU6wFEw

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that just helps for a short while. What's broken inside cannot be fixed by external forces. I got a hike this Saturday, about 20%. Easily in the top 2-5% earners in my country now. Yet, it made me even more miserable than happy.

Questions like, what am I doing here, where does this end, what should i do with all that money start popping up, and I'm out of answers, or a will to keep going.

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Idk man... at this point it would just be nice to get a call back. Ive applied to every listing i think I’d be qualified for on state gov site and usagov, as well as county jobs and hospital (basically anything that’s described as admin work and seems entry level). Ive thought about going for more schooling but im stuck between doing a masters program or going to the local community college for something more applied like CAD or something else. Just sucks, all my friends my age had goals/dreams early on and are all in the field they wanted. Ive never had that clarity of purpose

The foot is still attached to leg. Just bones inside are broken, tendons were also cutted. So, I will lost a big part of movements on it. And seafearer jobs is a past now. Deck Officer are leader of fire brigade inside a ship. It will take 1 year or more to recover and heal, but never with full movements.

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>Comment things making you sad
I can't buy a working military flame thrower at Costco.

My brother is a gay. I also have a drugged out tranny brother. I'm sad. They don't work and live off me and mom.

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Time to fill the emptiness with sweet wine and get ready for a new week monday.

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I fill the emptiness with homemade pizza.

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been seeing life in different shades of grey i wanna put 100cc of fetty into my arm rn

Yeah, I know. That is why it is sad.

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Shoot man, have you tried giving it to charity or people in need? Or even just go on some of the begging threads and give it out if you don't need/want it that badly. Nobody really knows what they're doing though man, and nobody likes their job either, best advice is just do whatever you can to distract you from those thoughts until eventually you stop thinking them. It's pretty bad advice I'm sure, but that's kind of what I'm trying to do now

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You got any previous experience? And what kind of admin work? Don't go into a job you hate just because it's a job, especially if it's something nowhere near what you want to do

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So what do you do now then?

youtu.be/vE8mFDabqD0

How old are they man?

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I want some

When I poop blood comes out of my mouth and that makes me sad.

Reward indifference, doubt humanity, submit, stay asleep

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I love Chiara.

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All my experience is either retail or janitorial work (stuff i did for years before going to school).

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im lowkey scared of becomng an incel and I really want a gf before it becomes too late,but I have no clue how to go about it

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back in rehab again why couldn't i have just od

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Living with my savings. Learning to code again, stuff I hated and abandoned since 2006. Basically going back to the life I hated and now crippled. Fuck C++, JAVA and the likes.
How I miss the sea.

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How old are you?

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Shit man, retail is a pain in the ASS. Only way I got out of it was by getting a shitty office job, and then that was good enough to start getting better office jobs

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Tinder, Bumble, work, school. As a fellow single, young dude, that's the only ideas I got

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Man, what are you stuck on?

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Well damn man, what else do you like doing then?

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...

late teens now

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opiates and benzos

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Man, sounds like you no longer need her as a girlfriend dude.If she's making you feel that bad and doing things like that, you gotta cut her off man

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saying I love you is the easy part. what comes next defines if you really meant it. I'm in somewhat similar boat. Someone loves me so much and tells me everyday, yet they won't put any effort to be with me.

I usually let girls come to me so I know that they really like me it works for me sometimes .. girls are weird they can be looking at you but they want you to come up first Im like naw you come to me .. if you want me if not imma go about my day

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Girlfriend has proven herself and unreliable irresponsible idiot and I want to leave her. I don't even really care about her anymore. Trouble is she's incurring a lot of extreme financial burden so I can't get first and last to ditch her ass, I can't take the dogs so she'd get to keep them even though I don't trust she can take care of them, and over the last year I've lost my social life just grinding to keep eviction at bay so I don't have much of a support network to get through the breakup.
She was recently diagnosed with bipolar (even though I have a minor in psychology and have been telling her for 4 goddamn years), and she's medicated now, and she's showing glimmers of improvement. But pills don't magically instill a sense of responsibility and accountability, nor do they undo her bottomless bag of retarded mistakes that have us financially pinned.
I make a lot of money. It's fantastically impressive she's been able to drain me as she has.

That's rough stuff man, you probably are better off of that stuff. I get that life is rough and it can be hard getting through it, but people must obviously care about you

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how do you let a girl know that though? I tried that once and she just kinda lost interest and we went our separate ways

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Pirates managed to sail with peglegs, you have no excuse

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So why exactly can't you break up with her?

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bitches aint shit remember that king

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Can't afford to get out and she won't leave. Our rent and bills are high. She made a lot of money when we moved in together. She got her ass canned from that job and just spiralled down since then. Accepting lower paying jobs, getting fired, accepting even lower paying jobs.
No direction. She wants to drink with her friends and will blow all her money on alcohol and doesn't seem to care or realise every penny she spends comes out of my pocket. I think more she doesn't realise. She's sincerely said things before that make me think she's literally too dumb to realise if she spends her money and comes short on our bills it was basically my money she spent.

lol dumbass

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god dammit user

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>Stars, I have seen them fall by AE Housman

Stars, I have seen them fall,
But when they drop and die
No star is lost at all
From all the star-sown sky.
The toil of all that be
Helps not the primal fault;
It rains into the sea,
And still the sea is salt.

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>stars in the moon's sphere

now I'm just angry

Rite?

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>things making you sad

/b

Damn man, she sounds like she has serious problems then. You probably gotta start putting some money away she can't touch until you have enough to rent or something, just find a way to get out before she ruins your life

someone took a bite out of the moon

>Before she ruins your life
Already done

>Put money away.
I have a plan. I'm a skill tradesman and I have a pretty lucrative opportunity to make a lot of money fast. Bonus it's away from home so I can escape for a bit.

The only real issue is the dogs. One in particular who is my fucking life. Because of my career I can't take her. She'll be left with her and im 100% sure she'll be evicted. I don't know what'll happen to the dogs.

I studied music my entire life. Its in my blood. 4 years HS and 6 yrs college. JUST as soon as im done with music education, some loud prick moves into the house next to mine and is consistently ridiculously loud, egaging in criminal behavior. I ask him to stop and then he turns it up. Police wont get involved. When I call them he retaliates more since he knows hes off the hook. They tell me to wear earplugs, go to court, soundproof, or move. I do all of these things. 10 Years I grew up here. Within 2 months he permantly damaged my chocleas, like his. I now have a disability called hyperacusis, and it brought with it tinnitus. It feels like there are knives in my ears, even when no sound is present. I cant work any job even libraries as sound simply brings physical pain. When I do menial tasks such as was dishes or cook, I wear earplug industrial muff combo. FOR. LIFE. He got off without so much as a ticket. If I harm him, for sure they will pin me as guilty. My fucking career is over, and I cant even live on a day to day basis because of hyperacusis. FUCK KENT THE CUNT THOMPSON.

Divorces are always hard when just one part is guilty and doesn't know. We remember how we loved that creature, but that was the past. We think we can change. Sometimes happen others don't.
Divorce are a life's decision. How to decide?

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give the dog to a friend or no kill shelter. hell put it on craigslist, it will have a better chance.

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Yeah it's hair pulling. I've never met anyone in my life so averse to facing hardship. She will literally shove any problem under a rug and pretend it isn't there.
We've never been able to have a normal argument. She shuts them down and changes the topic, and if i persist shell run to friends house and drink.

Don't know what's worse; that thumb or the blanket.

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Move out, support yourself and nobody else.

For all the lonely anons out there.

At least you're not stuck with a crazy adhd riddled gf who trapped you with a kid so in their crazy mind they wouldn't loose you, all the while they get lazier and fatter.

If there's one advice I can give you, don't stick your dick in crazy. Or do it a couple times then try to distance yourself from them.

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>Last Toast by Anna Akhmatova

I drink to our ruined house
To the evil of my life
To our loneliness together
And I drink to you—
To the lying lips that have betrayed us,
To the dead-cold eyes,
To the fact that the world is brutal and coarse
To the fact that God did not save us.

it shows of someone who gives up in the unfortunate situation and drinks their way to a salvation. I now aggressively snap my fingers.

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That is my worst fear. I was a virgin until 26 because I saw this shit too many times while growing up.

you nigger its comedic effect.
courage has way more surreal shit.

27, never had a gf, always told I was decent looking though I feel I'm losing whatever looks I had from comfort eating and stress. Had plenty of chances with girls but let it slip by because of cowardice or social anxiety. Feel like I'm running out of time and ideas.

This Be The Verse By Philip Larkin

They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another’s throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don’t have any kids yourself.

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I don't even feel the show is good enough to not leave. I've seen enough to know I won't like the rest. But everyone says you go to hell if you kys so here I am stuck to die a natural death. If I had proof I wouldn't go to hell I'd be out of here lickedy split.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,

But I have promises to keep,

And miles to go before I sleep,

And miles to go before I sleep

Checked. I'm normally the "Funny" or "Crazy" friend. I'm just worried they'll get bored of me and not call anymore, or I'll be to boring for them. I've been truly alone in this life, don't want to do it again. It's way to much to bear.

interested in starting self harm to cope, but don't really want to cause permanent damage or leave scars just in case my life gets better. any tips?

>still love my ex from two years ago
>we were together for 5 years
>had a son
>she started cheating on me
>to cope i relapsed on meth and heroin
>she left me for the other guy
>i was living at her house so i became homeless
>a month later she abandoned our son with her mom after not letting me see him
>during this time i tried to numb myself with heroin and xanax but the emotional pain would not go away no matter how high i got
>the next logical thing was to purposely lose my mind with meth and acid so i'd be too out there to understand the reality of my situation and therefore not care
>maintained a job and helped ex's single mom financially and with babysitting (3 other daughters in high school, cleaned up house after them, stocked fridge with food while her mom worked nights as a bartender barely getting by) all in exchange to spend precious time with my son
>as this was happening i was falling slowly into a psychosis and losing my mind more and more
>skip all the thinking im a cyborg shit who can travel through dimensions and two years later here i am off the hard drugs
>back in school, have apartment, dated a few girls and got a new girlfriend who im not attracted to but sex is sex
>woke up at 7 pm today
>had dream i was with my ex, we're in her room talking, she tells me still loves me
>we have sex that isn't detailed in the dream kinda skips to cuddling after
>wake up heart hurting
>open up facebook to a post her mom made with her in it
>she looks amazing; her natural dirty blonde hair has finally grown back in (something i encouraged her to do and to stop dying her hair black), her pale white skin still looks doll like, her face and ears sticking out from her long hair reminds me of her elf-like look, i miss her so much
>she filled a void in my heart that i tried to fill with drugs before i met her
>i haven't felt full since

Yeah she lied to me, basically said she was on bc. BC failed. I should have wrapped it up. I'm retarded and thought with my dick. Now I have to deal with her and try not to piss off to a remote state.

Only thing she's good for is fucking. She's a giant drain on my life. Irresponsible and doesn't even shower unless I bathe her. Only thing that makes it worth it is the fact I can fuck her anytime I want. Almost released 20+ years of sexual frustration all over that pos.

In retrospect I think I would rather be by myself and lonely than in this situation.

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Never break your foot. It only makes your life worst. Life might get better with money. So try to study stuff nobody wants to do. Math, Engineering, programming. Then you will have something to reflect and suffer by only working.

I was a handsome guy but due to series of unlucky events I’m all scared up and feel like shit. I wonder why I’m still alive because I could have died a few times and most of the time I wish I would have. I have to see these scars everyday and I look at pictures from when I was handsome and feel incredible depressed

Had to google Hyperacusis. Jesus fucking christ man, that guy should be murdered.

Sounds like he snatched the very essence of you. This infurates me more than it saddens me. Only because I know how useless the police and justice system is. America is a fucking joke, thats the real sadness here.

It is always bad when we became less then we were. I also almost died, but survived less then what I was. I try compesating by studing more then ever, because I cannot be strong as I was once. Fucking diseases.

every drug you dont do is another meal in your childs belly

every miniute youre not wrapped up in your ex is another minite you could be working a good job to provide nourishment and material things for your sons future and yourself.

Y'all should just kill yourself. Nobody wants ignorant Fascists in this world, 4cuckers.

Take up marial arts. MMA. muay thai. boxing taikwondo. sambo. wrestling. judo. brazillian jiu jitsu.

After U buddy

I'm 26 years old. I'm not bad looking, average hight, average build, from ages 16-20 I was fucking every girl that looked my way.

Met a girl at age 20, dated for 4 long years. We got engaged, she got pregnant. Weeks into pregnancy, her cousin moves back to our town and introduces her to meth. She's sends me a pic while I'm at work, of her smoking meth with the caption "no baby if I smoke it out, fuck off"

She has a miscarriage, becomes a meth head and alcoholic, and ends up fucking her cousin and having a kid with him. They live in a trailer and always post happy shit on Facebook.

I'm now 26, it's been two years. I sold the engagement ring at a pawn shop and used the money for booze and got into a bad drinking problem, going through a fifth every night, by myself, in my apartment, cut off from the rest of the world.

As of a month ago, I've stopped drinking entirely, the pain is still there (all I wanted in life was to be a father and to have a family) but the scars are worse. I took a girl out to the bar after meeting on tinder, and I couldn't hold conversation or even flirt with her.

My dad tried hooking me up with an 18 year old bombshell who wants my nuts like no other, and I cannot flirt with her, read her social ques, I just nod, smile, giggle, and respond with one word answers... She often messages my dad "he wont make any moves, I don't think he likes me" ect, but I do. Im broken as a man. The fear of intentional destruction/abandonment puts so much anxiety in my every action and thought. I cannot progress in life any further than I have. Some people have been through much worse, but booze, Xanax, weed, nothing has been able to change my perception.

I now have a suicide date planned for after Christmas this year, as I'd like to give my family another great memory of me before I go. This is the only type of board where I can relate and not feel so alone.

Thank you.

Void of hope - [really disturbing things I just dumped in one go because of Yea Forums]

Life is not all made of good
for some of us.
People do disturbing acts all the time.
It always starts with random weird porn,
but it degenerates fast into gore.
Assassination with decapitation,
a man abusing a baby,
maggots eating some man's dick__~__~__~__
while doctors cutting in half to remove them

one by one.

Some of those enjoy the destruction
they inflict on others.
Unholy animal experimentation,
human-animal mash-up
a dog head without skin
on top of a human torso___=>-§-vº_______
snow covered with skeletons covered in flesh
for miles in a snowy ground;
another man self-mutilating his penis
for pleasure this time
dolphins raping a horse mare by the sea;
a naked woman killing a cow in a field,
she removes its skin
to enter its entrails

___X
all these images and actions
a thousand times per day
happening in intervals
with nonsense in between.

The abyss is deep.
This peek made me realize
why fear exists.___LLL_(@_@]_LLL___
Death, suicide, murder, destruction,
laughs, mutilation, genital pleasure with pain,
demonic animals lurking in the dark,
religion restraining innocents,
beauty, then ugliness,
thousands of years refining this knowledge,
but hiding in plain sight.

This is the reek of mortality...
can You smell it too?

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So the girl I like Is always playing lenon and I don’t understand why. She goes that she dosent like me and liked this dude but then goes oh user ft till we fall asleep(this ain’t no ldr) or when we meet up she and it’s getting late like at 3 am she goes Can u sing to me user I’ll ask her what song and she says “sing me out your head on m shoulder user” while she falls asleep in my arms. The next day she will go oh I’m taking to this dude he really cute. But then will go user I love being with you. Idk what to do anons idk why she acts like this.

If you have already spoken to her about this and she continues her behavior, SHE is just testing you. People like to see how much power they exert over them, it gives them high. Advice user, if she knows how you feel, and continue to do this, she will increase the teases until you find her fucking another guy and asking you to sing while they do.

Together then? I mean I can help you if you are too scared.

Also, I have a wife AND girlfriend, so why?

DIE cheating bastard

Haha, nah. They are poly, so we all fuck at the same time. It's pretty easy, try Fetlife... wait, I forgot, you need to have one partner first to get two!

Kill your self.

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It won't.

turned 30 four days ago

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Welcome to /U/ (On The Discord App)

Discord Link
https:\\discord.io\dkujHhf

A server with...
>Actual *E-Girls*
>Boipussy, Nudes, Yea Forums Memes, NSFW, VC, Megalinks, Voila, Dropbox, Kik swap, Nude swap, Porn swap, Snapchat, pornchat etc

Post what you want Mods don't give a shit. Xvbs

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Buy cheesecake. No matter de date. Cheesecake is always good. With wine.

kys

25
No car
No job
No goal
No ambition
No care
Too empathetic to kill myself

I'm suffocating

>talk to girl for awhile
>hook up a few times
>ask her a couple times if she wants it to be a real thing
>"I don't want a relationship"
>she slowly ghosts me
>see on Facebook her post a pic of her and some guy
>"Never been happier than with you"
She just didn't want a relationship with me, what did I do wrong , was I not enough , was I just a rebound , why just use me for sex
Feels bad anons
Sadness closing in
Just gonna drink myself to sleep

Have you tried killing yourself?

Drink yourself to death?

I had a loaded gun in my mouth and a finger clenched on the trigger about 5 years ago but i couldnt fathom how my mother/family would go on

The search continues. Why asking what other humans you don't have contatct think about their decisions. What a waste of time.
Just move on. And stop lurking on her social media. It just makes that worst.

im terrified of sex and socializing with girls. The most ive done is eat a girl out, shower/spoon naked and a few make out sessions. I couldnt get it up the two times we tried to have sex and when I told her I was a virgin she just gawked at me and asked how that happens at my age (23 AT THE TIME, NOW 24) she said she didnt want to teach me how to fuck so we broke it off.
Months later I was at a bar with some friends and ran into a girl from highschool who was flirting her tits off, asking me if I was single and before she left literally grabbed my face and tried to walk out of the bar with me. I got so anxious I said I was feeling sick and left. I got so uncomfortable I just wanted to come home and post on Yea Forums where it was safe. I fucking hate bars

I really think ill be one of those guys that never gets laid or has a GF, not even joking because you know they exist. I try not to think about it and im getting more ok with the idea, but it still bothers me and I think im hopeless

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No just too sleep, or at least till I can't feel. I don't know what I did wrong or why she used me

You got sex, count your blessings. Clearly she wouldn't want to be in a relationship with you, so it wouldn't be enjoyable eventually if it happened. She did you a favor not to waste your time so you can focus on someone who would be worth it.

I feel like ive lost all empathy for others.
I feel like I'm never going to connect with anyone anymore, people only contact me if they have a problem.
the only time I'm sort of okay is when I'm either fucked up or doing nostalgic shit like watching old show or listening to old music.

do any of you guy ever feel like you should have died years ago? like I shouldn't have gotten to this point and It's a mistake for me to be here anymore.

No I wasn't lurking , it just showed up on my feed today. I already deleted her on there , deleted her number.

Quite easily actually, probably better in many regards as they would stop worrying about supporting you through your shit.

Maybe you're just an asshole?

Maybe, although I doubt that. Who knows though maybe I am just an asshole. I don't think I ever did anything assholeish

I don't really care about sex , never really had a problem getting it. You're right tho clearly she would have just been a waste of time

What are your politics? Are you an asshole to the people who most are in a situation that history has piled centuries of shit on them? Or are you a hero like Achilles or Arminius?

No way

It may work like that for you but my family would be devastated and i hold way too much guilt about other things to ever go through with it

Maybe when my mom is dead ill do it

Your case is serious user. I never heard of someone naked with a girl and not having a erection. Well, it happened with me once, but I didn't like the girl, and after we got naked I changed my mind on sex. She was disapointed, but I really didn't like her (even for a quick sex). Girls just pushes sometimes.
So, don't tell women you are virgin. You can tell after a good sex session. Never if it was bad, because they will just say, it was bad because of virgin.
You can have sex anytime you want. Don't waste time on crazy girls.

My mom and my biological dad split up when my mom was pregnant, she then went and got engaged to this other guy, who has been my "dad" for almost 17 years now. Over the 17 years of my life he has been mentally, and physically abusive, and I've tried to kill myself a few times, but i've never had the means to do it properly, and im too afraid to do it painfully. I found out about my biological dad when I was like 10, when I found an old letter, telling my "new dad" that the adoption had been completed. I remember that I had to have supervised visitation with my bio dad, and he always tried to tell me that he was my dad, even though my "other" dad always told me he was my uncle. I can hear my bio dad someties in my dreams, crying, trying to tell me that he's my dad, I can't remember his face. or exactly what he sounds like. I want to see him. I want to remember who he is. This has been killing me over the past few weeks. Just needed it off of my chest.

That's honestly my plan chief..

Then stop crying and be the kind of person they would be proud of.

I doubt I'm some sort of hero I don't have any delusions about being a nice guy who's only single because women only go after chads lmao. As for politics I generally lean left I try to care about people in need. I don't like seeing people suffer no matter their race , gender , sexual preference, religion. I just want everyone to be happy.

Life sometimes is shit. Try to endure and improve whenever you can.

Really? Doesn't it scare you to think of your days on a timer?

Are you productive? I am not..

Degree holder, left my job last month as a process engineer in semicon manufacturing after almost 2 years because I have no intention to do the work, a few years later, that my senior engineers (basically the same shit as me but more complexity) and managers (driving projects is a good pay, high stress but annoying job that I'll hate) are currently doing.

I don't know what kind of job I want, now that I have some savings and no longer willing to take any job like when I was a fresh grad. I have no amazing skills to speak of. Feeling lost rn. And useless.

I enjoy bachata/salsa dancing but I'll never be good enough to teach it (not to mention I'm too short and introverted). I get to to dance with pretty grills but that's as far I can get.

I just want someone who likes dancing, video games and is a nerd like me and hopefully doesn't like to travel overseas too much. Seems impossible for a short, fat Asian guy who is also ugly.

I'm now 81kg, holy fuxk. I'm stopping my daily binge eating NOW. I'm a DISGUSTING piece of filth. Yuck. I've never been so fat ever.

I'm spending my jobless days just playing ffxiv and pretending I'm happy while taking care of and accompanying my grandma (who raised me when I was young).

I often think of suicide because I'm just a useless, lazy piece of shit. But I have parents and family who gave me a good home and loved me as much as they could love a useless NEET. Killing myself would just hurt them.

Am I arrogant for wishing I had a bad family so that I can kill myself without guilt?

Fuck, if only I had unlimited money. I wouldn't buy expensive things, just enough for my family to live without me having to work.

Having to work 10-12 hours a day (the norm in an Asian 1st world country) just to be able to live makes me wanna kill myself.

Call me a spoiled brat or whatever, I know I'm useless.

I just want to die but I can't because my family is too nice.

Pretending I'm happy for my family is suffering.

For sure , thanks user. I don't really have people I can vent to. At least I have you fuckers lol

Then be a hero-- look at our ancestors, we bred because we were brave and bold, and knew right from wrong. That is what people want.

I'm going to give each and everyone of you tough love-- not because I hate you, but because I know you all can do better.

30 years old. Been together with my future ex wife for almost 9 years. Gave me cold shoulder for a week or two and then all of a sudden she's giving me bs reasons she's "fallen out of love with me" and can't see it getting back to good. Was looking for a place to move into during cold shoulder week. She even rented a hotel room in the process. Other than that, she locked herself in guest room. She moves out a month later after me suggesting anything to help, even marriage counseling but nothing matters to her besides leaving. I work with her, but don't see her constantly. Maybe an hour, if that, a day. Heard rumors she's sometimes side piece. Had feelings she left me for someone that works at the same place to begin with.

Sucks to know she'd rather be someone's side piece than a my wife. Spent a couple weeks thinking how great a 9mm would taste, but eventually realized it wasn't worth it. Now I'm just trying to figure out how to keep from hitting the bottom if the barrel, money wise after she left me an $750 rent payment a month, plus my $300 student loan payment and all the other bills that come with adulting. Good thing I'm a decently paid truck driver. It literally comes down to a wash with how much I make and spend monthly, plus or minus $100. Now I'm just waiting until something fucks up on my personal truck to bring me into a financial deficit that sends shit rolling down hill.

Is this the doomer thread?

I don't understand why people like to fantasize about a reunion. Reality is always disappointing. No one becames complete because past mistakes. The best scenario would be you said he is your father and loves you. And that's it. If he visited you it's because he once loved you to do it so. If he stoped in doing so, it is because he though tje effort in doing was damaging him or you. Either way, pointless for your grow as a person.

I try to be. I'm going to school and hopefully I'll get out of this pit of depression. I can't get a job until I graduate. I'm fit, was working out everyday to a point. I can't stand to do drugs not that it helps. Only thing keeping me here is the fact that my father would be destroyed. So like I said, it's only a matter of time for me unless something changes after grad.

That is quite sad. Hopefully in 10 years they will invent chatbots that will talk to us in more ingenious way.
>4chabot

My mom left him when he got arrested for smoking pot with a bunch of friends. I went to some facility to see him. It's not his choixe to see me or not. He would have no way of knowing where I am. and I have no way of knowing where he is. I just want to meet him. To know what happened. My mom won't tell me, hell, she wont even admit that my "dad" isnt my bio dad.

Drop a Kik or tgram or some shit. Ill listen to your bullshit. All Ive got to do.

> not using this perfect opportunity to get a peg leg and become a more authentic sailor

lol faggot

Took shrooms and saw that everything i think is just a ploy to give myself self esteem. Like my internal dialogue is very unhealthy. I was cringing at myself so much.

That is the problem with humans. They need a history thread to complete their life process and move to new horizons. Well, this made us walk around the world during the stone age.
Good luck on finding your dad.

Expand on inner dialog?

I hope the best for you. I wanted to go to college but i couldnt afford it so im badically just becoming a bigger loser every day

I made an impulsive decision to join the army
I also made an impulsive decision to choose the role of EOD
I was going to pussy out, but I will go though with it. On one hand, death will come easy if I am unlucky as shit. On the other, I will no longer be a loser if I come back intact.

I was with a girl like that, but I knew to not trust her. she eventually told all her friends that I abused her, which was a fucking lie but she fucked off to fuck retard at mcdonalds, I tried to warn that nigger but he wouldn't listen to shit.

I wish I had an answer for you bro, but breaking it off might be in your best interest, just don't put your kid through bullshit over it.

The joke would be funny if my foot didn't hurt so much.
...
Probably will tell this joke after a successful transition to new career.

I'm here just to spite faggots like you at this point.

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Good luck, brother. I hope everything works out for you.

How old are you, what region do you live in chief, might still be able to

After you kill someone you will either be someone who kills someone you never know or a psychopath that loves to kill. Enjoy your path.

I feel you Yea Forumsro

Good luck chief, considered enlisting as an officer after college. Bad idea?

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shes using you as an emotional weight incase things don't work out with the other guy. don't let her do that to you. I say you should look for someone else that won't keep you on standby.

Spite me how? You're going to Helheim regardless, you fucking coward. Way to spite me.

Please expand, im thinking about taking shrooms and I'm scared about it causing psychosis

I have anxiety/depression/bpd and im scared that it will be the end of what functionality my brain does have

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I turn 22 on the 11th and wonder how I made it this far...

Also curious. Heard you can find out a lot you don't know about yourself on shrooms, even shit you don't want to know.

Fuck.. how low do you go when you are a guy and own sex toys... females own sex toys

ily

Ive had conversations about psychedelics with a few people and they say how much it's changed their whole perspective, but i really wonder how quickly my trip could turn negative and permanently fuck me up

lol faggot

I stay here to spite and fight shit talkers.
I have no love for anyone,no need for anything,I don't fucking enjoy anything except start shit with people in person.
faggots like you give me purpose, give me a reason to keep going, So in a way you help me.

>you're going to Helheim regardless
depends on the circumstances bud.

From what I know, I doubt it will permanently fuck you up. But, yeah, I've heard it has a good potential to change your perspective. I've heard mostly that you want to focus on what you want to find out and you'll more likely go in that direction, rather than letting the shrooms fully take the wheel and maybe take you somewhere you don't want to go.

Look at you humans, talking and exchanging ideas about not killing yourselves. Don't have kids, humans. They drain your resources and destroy your fragile relationships. And once they go teen, it gets worse.

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Currently work in yuppie marketing hell. I never even wanted this wtf am I doing?

y'all need alcohol in your lives lol

Get out of here you fucking alien. I am Samael, Lord of the Wall, Angel of Good and Evil. This is my domain. You can have the planet once these stupid fucking monkeys kill themselves.

I get it. I did so much shit I thought I would be dead before 18, now im 25 and I don't know what the fuck to do with myself. I got a decent job and no debt but I don't find joy in anything, nothing lasting anyway.

You are using social media wrong. They drain your capacity.

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No one's keeping you there but you. Start planning out a new career path and follow it.

the permanent trip is a lie. but they can fuck up your sense of self by giving you more of an outer view of how you act.
the only people who truely get fucked up by then wwere fucked to begin with and it just pushes them over the edge they were already on.

You just discovered LIFE is not an adventure. That is why World of Warcraft sells so much. It gives a sense of purpose to the void.

So essentially the thing id be focused on is why am i alive, what do i have to look forward to in the future, because as of now i have zero purpose and a lack of care

What's wrong with asking for help?

I know if I truly asked for help people would help, but I just keep trying to reach for something and in the end when I'm almost done climbing I just let go and fall deep into such a mess, it's become a cycle now.

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Cheer up man, don't know where are you or who you are but I wish you the best.

Yeah thats precisely what im afraid of lol

You just read a very interesting thread. And survived.

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We all know that were all being manipulated constantly and we're all just okay with that.

We have literally no free will and one step too far out of line and we could wind up dead the next say and all people will say is the goverment silenced us and that'll be all. Nothing will change, we're all expendable and we are all being used by some fuckwad to be the worst we could be, and we don't even know why.

It was easier in the past when you had only to plant some food and kill some mammoths.

I heard that 40% of men never reproduce. And I think "those are pretty high odds". The truth of our reality is that our biological substrate dictates that not all of us are meant to make it. And I look at my life so far, and it looks like I might be one of those forty percent. So if I'm not going to reproduce why bother with anything in this world? Not that I even want to. I was just one of nature's experiments meant to be discarded. Just like 40% of other men.

Sure, maybe also try and find out if you have a purpose you haven't discovered. Otherwise, if you're just trying to be a downer smart ass, have fun tripping... because I'm sure you won't enjoy seeing yourself in third person.

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Amen

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I never thought of life as an adventure. I just had a hope living the life I had would lead to a logical conclusion and I wouldn't have to worry about a future I didn't want. I just want a fucking reason to keep going, point me in a direction and Ill do what I am told, that's all I know,that's all I good for. I shouldn't have made it this fucking far.
I should have died years ago and limited to a footnote in a couple people's memory to be forgotten.

Im not trying to be one at all but downer smart ass kind of fits the bill haha

Do you think it would benefit me or cause more harm than good?

>became an orphan at 7 when my mom died to cancer
>dad died when I was 2
>reached around from foster family to foster family
>physically abused at some
>sexually abused at 2
>quite good time at 2 others
>got bullied in pretty much every school I went to
>still have scars from getting burnt with cigarettes
>added more by burning myself
>cut a lot at that time too
>thought if I got used to pain no one could hurt me
>never told anyone that could help me out of fear
>somehow made it til I was 18 without drugs or suicide

Life's way better today and I don't harm myself as often anymore but in the past weeks, especially when I'm in bed trying to sleep it all comes up again and I just can't deal with it anymore, with none of it.

Sounds like a sheep thing to say. You make goals, you try and reach them. If it doesn't happen, you learn from it.

My extreme ugliness is keeping me from leading a normal life. I can't make new friends because no one will even look me in the eye. There are times that I feel that I am a mistake

When I still could walk, when I was bored, I just walked the city alone. And walked some miles and miles. You should try and see the city 4AM. After walking like a crazy person. See the sun rises once in a different place.
It doesn't give any purpose, but it is something you will remember. I still remember.

I listen to a lot of JRE and I never hear anything bad coming from it. You might have a bad trip, but that's up to you to translate it for what it's worth and decide to go from there.

Interesting input

Thanks, i appreciate it

How come apartments are so fucking expensive? I can’t fucking move out because I can’t afford the rent. “Oh just get a roomate.” Fuck that shit, I’m an anti-social incel who don’t trust anyone. What if they have to leave me high and dry? Now I’m fucking homeless. And get this, every 1 BR place is $1200 a month and all the ones that aren’t in niggerville require that you have a monthly income of 2.5 to 3.0 times the rent to even be considered. So i’m fucked.

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With REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE I became one.

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Anytime

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Get your Class A CDL. Live in the truck while stacking up your bank account. Save until you can afford to buy a house.

Well, it's not like it's bad, you just don't pass down your genes, which according to nature you should otherwise you are weak and as you said not meant to reproduce.

On the other hand, I don't see why anyone would willingly rip a soul from the void to just place it in prison of flesh to come here just to suffer for ages then die.

Seriously, why would you do that to another soul?

This thread is dying, just like those who are still lurking here. Drink some coffee and straight your thoughts.

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almost exact same situation here man but im 22. feels bad coming home to nothing every day.

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Yeah, and you can do other things that matter. You can still contribute to society.

>This thread is dying

Everything dies... everything

How the hell do you have an apartment to yourself at 22? Tell me your secrets

Spend 10 years with someone else and you'll probably be able to appreciate what you already have

>No Coward Soul Is Mine by Emily Brontë

No coward soul is mine
No trembler in the world's storm-troubled sphere
I see Heaven's glories shine
And Faith shines equal arming me from Fear

O God within my breast
Almighty ever-present Deity
Life, that in me hast rest,
As I Undying Life, have power in Thee

Vain are the thousand creeds
That move men's hearts, unutterably vain,
Worthless as withered weeds
Or idlest froth amid the boundless main

To waken doubt in one
Holding so fast by thy infinity,
So surely anchored on
The steadfast rock of Immortality.

With wide-embracing love
Thy spirit animates eternal years
Pervades and broods above,
Changes, sustains, dissolves, creates and rears

Though earth and moon were gone
And suns and universes ceased to be
And Thou wert left alone
Every Existence would exist in thee

There is not room for Death
Nor atom that his might could render void
Since thou art Being and Breath
And what thou art may never be destroyed.

I am becoming an EOD, I will probably die trying to defuse an IED

If you have no debt, sounds like you have money saved up. Get an escort every now and then. Treat yourself.

I'll be honest man I really want to end it. I have almost nothing left. I've lost all joy and happiness in my life. The only thing keeping me here is my girl. I'm 19 and I'm losing hope. I failed college and I'm a financial burden to my family. All my friends left me. The only person who talks to me who isn't my girl is some guy who just uses me as a trip sitter. I've lost everything. I have maybe 18$ in my bank account and I get roughly 6 hours a week at my job. My life is meaningless at this point. It's not even like I'm an asshole, I'm nice to everyone and they all just left. Why even continue when my parents constantly tell me I'm a failure and my father abandoned me as a kid. My family hates me and they don't cease with telling me. My only joy is my girlfriend and maybe Minecraft. Only thing that reminds me when my life wasn't misrible. Can anyone give me a reason to continue? I'm considering buying a handgun when available and blowing my head off. I can't live in my downward spiral of depression and drug addiction. What do I do?

Rumia is going to run out of panties.

Dude, not to be an ass, but you're only 19. You'll figure it out. Get a trade job. Find a hobby. You'll find people worth keeping around that are on the same path.

I hope that one day i can get arrested for something nonviolent so that no one will want me and i csn kill myself in prison without worrying about people mourning me.

check what i just leaked from memories

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This!

yup

Been there, done that. I reached or didn't reach my goals and not I'm here with no reason to be here. I don't see the point in goals if there is nothing I want to achieve or gain out of it.
>sounds like a sheep thing to say
so does that basic bitch advice.
I think I might pick up a couple of my things and just leave this place. my reason to be here isn't around anymore. maybe if I see something new I might find a purpose. I don't have much money but I really don't spend a lot of my lifestyle either.

oh thats easy just download cp

work everyday of your life. if you don't have a social life it's pretty easy to save money.

Free will is earned, is my hypothesis

"...while we libe"????

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Thank you

I'm in my early 30s and I'm getting genuinely terrified of dying alone. I just want to have a family and house to call my own. I know its super boring but thats all I want and I really don't think It'll happen. I'm absolutely terrible with girls and the few that have shown interest in me I'm 99% sure would lead to a very long and shitty life. I really don't know what to do. I'm terrified I'll be like my own parents, settle for the first willing girl I find, and then have nothing but separations and divorces with a fucked up family life, just like I did as a kid.

fear keeps you alive, dumbass

He totaly got assraped, no mere ass pinch will do that much damage

All I'm hearing is excuses and blame put on others for shit you can't figure out. Yet you're the only one that can figure it out. Sorry, but not sorry. You need someone to tell you what to do, where to go, etc? Don't be mad if I called you out for what you are. Be mad at yourself for being a blind sheep and then do something about it.

And yeah, I can't give you detailed advice because there's not much to go off of what you posted. Fuck me for wasting my time trying to give you some advice.

I quit making promises b4 i turned 20 or so.....less it was about something thatwas definetly sure to happen regardless of whatever i would do.....

I'm just going to leave this here

youtu.be/IdTMDpizis8

Great, imma go eat some icecream b4 i get back to work (i already decided to have the icecream b4 i saw this so...)

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Welcome to /U/ (On The Discord App)

Discord Link
https:\\discord.io\dkujHhf

A server with...
>Actual *E-Girls*
>Boipussy, Nudes, Yea Forums Memes, NSFW, VC, Megalinks, Voila, Dropbox, Kik swap, Nude swap, Porn swap, Snapchat, pornchat etc

Post what you want Mods don't give a shit. oKhy

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nigger that isn't advice, you're just spouting the same shit I can read off of motivational poster and I'm not blaming anyone else, I know I'm the issue.
My Dilemma is I don't really want to keep going because I don't see any point in it. and that's not something I can fix beyond getting fucked up everyday.

and lets not pretend your time is valuable, we are both posting on Yea Forums. neither one of use has shit to do.

But I will say this, I appreciate the sentiment, just not the message. so thank you for that.

Dear GOD/GODS and/or anyone else who can HELP ME (e.g. MEMBERS OF SUPER-INTELLIGENT ALIEN CIVILIZATIONS):

The next time I wake up, please change my physical form to that of FINN MCMILLAN of SOUTH NEW BRIGHTON at 8 YEARS OLD (see attached pictures) and keep it that way FOREVER.

I am so sick of this chubby Asian man body!

Thank you!

- CHAUL JHIN KIM (a.k.a. A DESPERATE SOUL)

P.S. If you are reading this then please pray for me!

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