Sup

Sup...
lets do it

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I masturbate to pictures and videos of girls of questionable age. And i fucking love doing that.

share some!

Don't be crazy. You can get b& faster than a page refresh

still worth it

Not really. I can at least share my experiences with anons if they curious

i spied on a girl getting raped by her dad every summer between age 9 and 13 (we were the same age)

I like to pull my dick out at crowded concerts so it rubs up against all the girls near me.

favorite questionable-age video?

Linallis webcams. Or whatever was her nickname

liinaliiis ..

cant say i have seen her videos, just her pics..
also not questionable.. girl still is not legal

Still, she was the best thing I fapped to in a while

guess i got to find the videos then.
i love the pictures of her in the fishnets

I wore my wife's underwear when I got married.

She has one video where she wear cat ears and goes full nude. She has a body of a 12yo so I came buckets

Damn.. off to find it then :)

Good luck. Onion networks are your friends. Trust me. You want to taste that video

Already found it..
stickied thread on AiW

Did you get a reply on Facebook?

I see you know where to look. Kudos to you user.

I've been sytematically semi-stalking this girl I have a bit of a crush on. I listen in on her conversations at school, one time I was about to follow her car home until she pulled off the road into a middle school parking lot. I saw her car at Taco Bell and remembered a conversation i heard about work, so I went in and got an application. I applied, but got another job before I went there. I was entirely prepared to work there beforehand. I've driven around the general area that I think she lives to see if her car is in one of the driveways. I've gone on 8 mile runs when my normal is tops 4 just to run past that area to see if I can find her house. I've looked through every one of her pictures, her relatives, and her siblings on VSCO, FaceBook, IG, etc. attempting to gather information. The thing is, I have no idea why. I have a girlfriend already, I get laid fairly often, I wouldn't say I love this one but I'm not unreasonably unhappy. She knows nothing about any of it.

yeah but my favourite site seems to be down..

I've been visiting a gloryhole at a nearby park bathroom for almost a year now, behind my boyfriend's back, and sucking and occasionally fucking random cocks there. I don't consider it cheating because it's purely sexual, not romantic, and it's anonymous, I don't know who I'm sucking or fucking, not their face or name or anything. I've been doing it because while I do love my boyfriend, and he's got a nice cock, he's not great in bed and cums too quickly for my taste.

Kind of want to branch out of regular vanilla sex with the wife. Objectively I’m real fit, creative and have a strange yearning to be a bbc bull. Don’t know how realistic but I started wanting this because of how popular it seems on xhamstr. Anyway, I’d be down because I don’t want to waste the prime years of my sex drive. Thought about getting a fem twink on the side even. Come watch me play jazz and then get crazy freaky after. If there was a safe and very discreet way for me to satisfy both itches, then shit, I’d enjoy Earth more I think.

They took down a lot of sites recently... I miss these webcams.

yeah i miss hurt meh..

Hurt meh was some good shit for sure~

The fuck you hacker ass niggas talking about mane

I fantasise about getting raped and knocked up

Nothing really important

yes sir i did.
shes officially a friend now

havent talked much yet, wont ask thhe hard questions just yet.

but her dad is nowhere to be found on her page!

She may have fond memories but decided not to let anyone know what happened. Or she may regret it who knows. Try let us know in one of these threads.

Pretty common fantasy. Enjoy.

Are you F? How old?

>Enjoy
I do ;)
>Pretty common fantasy
Really?

I TOOK A DUMP DIARRHEZ IN FRONT OF MY WHOLE SCHOOL AND PARENTS REALLY EMBARRASSGIN

I’m on a dating app where you can see who’s looked at your profile but didn’t like it.

I’ve barely tried on my profile to be honest but it still makes me feel a little shitty when I get passed by literally everyone

I smoke weed. thats my secret. no one knows.

WELL NOW THAT I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION I CAN TELL YOU WHAT IVE BEEN WANTING TO F=GWT OFF MY CHEST I LOVE BIG POO POOS BIG STINKY POO POOS ESPECUALLY ON MY FACE DRIPPING DOWN SMELLING LIKE STINKY WET ROTTEN GARBAGE AND FILTH I BELEIVE JESUS WOULD WANT US AS HUMANS AS HIS CREATION TO EAT POOPOS IN FACT GENISIS 7:17 SAYS GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD THAT HE SAID WE SHOULD EAT LOT OF STINKY SQUISHY SLIMY YUMMY YUM YUM POOPIES I DO NOT WANT TO GO AGAINST THE WORD OF THE LORD SO I WILL START EATING MY POOPIES AS WELL AS THE POOPIES OF MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY I JUST NEED TO CONVINCE THEM TO GIVE POOPIED PANTS IF YOU LOVE GOD MAKE SURE YOU EAT PLENTY OF POOPIES

discord gg/dQynKJg
We've got everything you want. Premium Snaps, Porn accounts, Netflix Gift Cards, and whatever the fuck you could imagine. All for free and they're all obtained legally.

haven't seen any signs of her mother either..
thats the interesting thing.

Well I got fired for having diarrhea today. I aint telling nobody about that. Gotta find a new job now. Got to tell my family a lle about changing jobs.

i like to type things for people to read only im not very good at it so i hardly ever get replies

>Be me, 32
>Be married
>Start talking to girl on Omegle
>Girl is 18 with massive tits
>Lie about age
>Lie about name
>Sext and video chat with girl
>Eventually meet and take her virginity
>Feel bad about it, cut off contact

> Today, during my bathroom break

> had diarrhea

> I was grossed out and it kind of burned and smelled

> I started screaming because i was having diarrhea.

> People are knocking and opening the door to check if I’m ok, I scream that i’m having diarrhea and instead of helping they close the door and leave.

> boss eventually knocks on the door

> tells me to stop screaming, then leaves

> When my diarrhea stops, I come out of the bathroom, with my pants and undies still down, butt unwiped, and approach him at the front register.

> Customers are shocked and backing away from me.

> My manager starts to yell “what are you doing? Pull your pants up.”

> I scream, “NO I’M HAVING DIARRHEA AND IT HURTS MY BUTT AND YOU DON’T FEEL BAD FOR ME YOUR TOO MEAN AHHHHHHHHHHH.”

> I run back to the bathroom

> grab some of my shit with my bare hand.

> I carry out the shit to show my boss that I really did have diarrhea.

> Everyone was screaming, including my boss. Kind of overeacting.

>I was legitimately screaming because people were so mean.

Anyways, I got fired and escorted out.

I am so embarrassed I don't know what to do. How do I tell my family

Yo, normie bitch here. Who's Linallis

A 15yo jailbait from Russia. Popular in certain places

Also interested

She also poops a lot on camera

Where find

Nowadays? Last time i saw on 2ch. But onion network is your best shot

I’m terrified of getting emotionally close to any female

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I want to seduce and fuck my younger sister. I think she'd be into it.

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Show pic of ur butthole and cock
>Also it is cheating but you do your mental gymnastics

what about persephone

My gf at the time convinced me to play out her rape fantasy. I made sure she took off from work for a while and made it seem like she was going on vacation, then, while she was sleeping, I gagged her, tied her up, and locked her in a small room I prepared in our basement. I then proceeded to fuck her over and over. It went on for about a week.

WOULD YOU LET HER POOP ON YOUR FACE

she's on poopeegirls.com

I have pictures of her pooping. wanna see those?

does it involved her being pooped

No... You're the only person who can poop on my face, user. Please. My mouth is open and my throat is prepared. Make it messy and cover me in your poopy mess.

We did stuff with piss, but not scat

I love to make guys send dick pics to their mom sister aunt or daughters

Kik johnhoper4

:D

Did she ended up liking it or regretting it?

>mom sister aunt
What kind of incest is going on in THAT family?

You just described 95% of the people who come to this board /rimshot.

Hell, I have the same problem coupled with the fact that sometimes I feel the world has decided that I'm an asexual sperg. Fuck, I doubt ever a whore would wanna fuck me

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She loved it. We ended up doing more, including renting a yacht and doing more of it during our honeymoon (yes, I married her)

Welcome to Nude Empire (On The Discord App)
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We've got everything you want. Premium Snaps, Porn accounts, Spotify Cards, Netflix Gift Cards, and whatever the fuck you could imagine. All for free and they're all obtained legally. cWrC

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I got away with raping a girl in my youth.
We were quite close and still are.
To this day she doesn't know who it was and still suffers massively from it.
She regularly turns to me for emotional support.

Any stories from it? Greentext?

> See The NEW Updated 7 chan:

7chan.pw/

A few years ago a girl who's a long time childhood friend of mine, petite small frame very cute, once when she was drunk told me about how when she would house sit for a relative, she would jerk off their pet dog. She's obsessed with dicks so she said she would love giving it boners and play with it, just hold and and feel how warm it was, make it cum ect. Well needless to say this made me insanely turned on. Several months passed and I brought up what she had told me again and she nearly had a heart attack because she completely forgot she told me this story because she was basically blacked out and would have never told me in the first place unless she was so drunk. Basically it sketched her out really really bad that I knew about it because she was scared I would tell other people or something (which I never would in a million years), so she's distanced herself from me and kinda stopped talking with me. We live in a moderately small town so something like that getting around would literally ruin her life as she has multiple social circles. That first night she also told me she was too scared to ever get a real dog of her own out of fear she would just start fucking it on the reg. My question is this; several years have now passed, how do I get back in contact with her and subtly plant the seed in her mind to buy a male dog and bang with it. It needs to be discrete and subtle or else she'll get too scared again and hide from me.

Don't. Move into the woods, abandon all hope and become a hermit.

Love to RP this with women who enjoy it.

I met my wife while she was camwhoring on Yea Forums 10 years ago.
She posted her E-Mail in the thread and we talked a lot until we eventually met.
We got married in 2017.
We usually tell people we met on an online dating site.

Yes, about a third of women have some sort of a rape fantasy according to research.

If you didn't knock her up you're a massive faggot

I dated a med student and let her circumcise me at a fetlife meetup

So what's stopping you?

when i was 13 i spent over an hour with my head burried between the thighs of a passed out highschool girl who had partied at my neighbours house.

turned out she was in a coma and didnt wake up until 3 weeks later.
they could see that she had been "raped" but because i didnt put my peepee in her they didnt get a DNA sample (wtf? my saliva was all over her)

Huh. I thought I was just weird.

>Any stories from it?
HELL YEAH

>gf was tied on a bed. Her hands were tied behind her back and I had some rope going around her legs. She had a gag with a dildo that went into her mouth. She was naked except for a small thong.
>I first wanted to play with her breasts, so I went to pinch her nipples. She started to squirm a bit, so I slapped her breast. After a few hits, she held still as I proceeded to pull and pinch her nipples.
>Then, I wanted her legs spread, so I untied her arms first and tied them above her head to the bed before untying her legs and tying them up one at a time, making her do the splits.
>At this time, she was breathing REALLY hard and I knew what she wanted. So I started teasing her about how she wants to be raped, which made her even more excited.
>Then, I pulled my dick out. I could see her stare at it. I then rubbed my dick on her pussy. Getting all the fluids on my dick and watching her get excited, but I pulled back.
>I took off her gag. She was breathing hard, but looking up at me. I stood above her, pointing my dick at her face.
>Then I started pissing on her. She opened her mouth to try to catch the piss. I moved down her body to try to cover her as much as I could in my piss.
>Then, when she was smelling like my piss, I went to put my dick at the opening of her pussy.
>I put one hand over her neck, and I pushed down as I pushed in at the same time. Choking her and fucking her at once.
>I was violently fucking her while my free hand want to slap and squeeze her breasts. Eventually, I felt her cumming before I did, which caused me to cum.
>To punish her for cumming first, I untied her legs and then tied them together at the knees and ankles.
>I tied her hands behind her back again and dragged her body off the bed.
>I lifted her head up and told her to start sucking my dick. I held her head with her hair.
>She was working hard on my dick, but I just came, so I would need her to do something to get me back in the mood.

I did this to a passed out babe a few years ago. Couldn't get enough of her ass and pussy.

Just tell her if she doesn't fuck you, you're going to tell everyone about her bestiality.

i ended up with a bit of a fetish for it.. luckely ive been with girls who are ok with it

Nah, just google "female rape fantasies prevalence" to see the research reported in professional journals, etc. It's actually about 40 percent of women with rape fantasies. And that's just women who ADMIT it. So, yeah. Not sure about the impregnation prevalence but I'll bet it's also common.
Come to NYC area and I'll do you.

>I told her to piss herself, and she immediately did.
>I saw the puddle forming out from her legs. This got me hard again.
>I pulled her head off my dick with her hair and pushed it into the puddle.
>Her face was in it, and I told her to lick it up.
>While she did that, I untied her legs and lifted her ass in the air.
>I proceeded to spank her over and over while she licked up her piss with her face in it.
>I then wanted to finish fucking her.
>I put my dick back inside her and started thrusting into her, spanking her while I went.
>Eventually, I came in her.
>Then, I wanted to get a snack, so I got some lube, a butt plug, and a remote controlled vibrator.
>I put lube on the butt plug and worked it into her ass and I put the vibrator inside her. I then put some tape over the vibrator to hold it in.
>I tied her back up (including the gag) in the bed, pissed on her one more time, and left for a couple hours. I only returned later to give her a snack covered in my piss that she had to suck my dick to get.

I've been locked in chastity since I started going out with my wife when I was 15. It's a huge kink for my gf and it adds a whole new dimension to our relationship.

I hope this becomes new pasta

Same, and i hate my mother

I can’t help perving on my niece tonight.

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I have felt a strong sexual attraction for my older sister for at least 4 years and I have been trying to seduce her ever since

There was a gay sauna where I grew up, I went there to suck dick and get fucked for the 1st time when I was 15. Only stoped moved really far way at age of 24 and my parents never found out.

Well, thanks! Surprisingly helpful for Yea Forums

Sadly I'm UK but that does sound nice.

when i was trying to get my ex-wife pregnant, every time during cuming inside her i would silently whisper her sister's name :)

Age?

Well, some day you're going to take a business or vacation trip to NYC. Keep my contact gmail: uwantrape

Did she know? Were they bridal panties?

I used protection. Why would I want to knock her up? Idiot.

16. Bending over all night with a little black thong underneath that, sexy bitch! Need to release soon!

i jerk off at work all the time. at least a couple of times a week. i look at hot chicks i know until i can’t resist anymore and then go to the bathroom and blow massive loads all over the toilet bowl.

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I honestly think I might leave my wife because of this

Messaged there. You'll know me by the fact I have the greatest throwaway email name in the world.

More pics?

My younger sister did porn back in the early 2010's to (I assume) help pay for university. She doesn't know that I know, nor does the rest of my family or her husband. I found out by complete accident when browsing porn and naturally freaked out once I recognized her.

Hard now...

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show us

I don't see your msg, so check that you entered my gmail correctly: uwantrape
I'll msg you if I head to the UK.

Yep. Gmail com?

more revealing?

you hot?

i can get to the UK in 2 hours

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

I wish I still had elasticated sperm....

pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=1960015519

I'm not going looking for more

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Yes, every single thing posted in this board is a lie.

>Not understanding that message is there for liability reasons

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

>pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=1960015519

Ever fap to her?

So much edge

believe what you like, i’ve posted a lot of lies on here before but that ones all true

Yes. Tell more stories and pic of yourself.

Where abouts UK?

Kek. Guys lining up to rape you if you want them to. Rape orgasms can be insanely intense, the best you've ever had. But if it feels that real it can also traumatise you.

I abandoned my own father.

My father used to be a god-fearing man. A true muslim who diligently followed the Koran and set a good example for his family. However, after the car crash, things haven’t been the same. My mother tells us he had a brain injury that completely altered his personality. He no longer goes to mosque or prays to Allah. Now all he does is… poopies.

He’s OBSESSED with poopy. Always singing “POOPY POOPY POOPY” and pooping turds everywhere and throwing his poopies around. Me and my sister used to spend hours cleaning up his poopy turds only for him to come back and fling his butt around to squeeze out more poopies while screaming “PPOOOOOOOOPPPPPPYYYYYYYY!!!!”

I ended up moving away to live with my aunt so I wouldn't have to take care of my poopy dad anymore.

Scotland. West Coast. Kind of a dump but it's home.

When my nieces stay at my house I let them sunbathe topless/nude

Nothing to do with edge. I make a mistake, abused a situation and by doing so, a person and I am not proud of it.
I am just obviously too much of a coward to ever admit it to her.

Oh believe me, I know lol. It's been a long time though. Talking here is fine but irl I'm kinda ashamed of it.

How do I record me railing the gf? She wont let me.

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You mean you were raped once?

How about respect her wishes and if you absolutely have to do that find a new gf

My dad used to not be mormon but is now mormon again. Ever since he became mormon I'm mad at him. He needs not to be that. He calls me after work once a week. Why. He misses my mom because she died. I wish he would stop hurting my family. He doesn’t care. He was ok when he wasn’t Mormon but now he’s not good. He has two cars because he’s selfish. Because of this I try not to celebrate Christmas with my kids but he always insist on sending presents. When I was 13 he told me Santa wasn’t real.

He wants to help me move. No thanks. I’m allergic to his cat. I can’t go to his house. He also eats a lot of head cheese and it disgusting! Also I think it gave me diarrhea. Thats right DIARRHEA!!! He didn’t care that I had diarrhea.

I accidentally got a DUI. He was mad and wouldn’t help me. Now he’s mormon again. I’m so confused right now. My wife wants to leave me. My dad wants to help me thru the divorce but i don’t want anything to do with him I know it’s his fault. He asked me about the cat. I told him what cat but he was talking about his cat.

Yeah way back when I was in hs

It's what got me into it

Glasgow?

Fuck

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You got Kik?

Tell us the story?

I want to be a mommy dom for a cute girl / cute boy, treating them as my child, breastfeeding them and putting them in diapers. Probably wouldn't work full time but for the most part it'd be fun and I'd try to "raise" them to be a better person

My GF free bleeds.

My girlfriend wears nothing when she gets her period. No tampons, pads, cups. Not even underwear.

She gets blood everywhere. My car, bedding, chairs etc have all been ruined and had to be replaced. She stained everything she puts her cooch on, but doesn’t want to replace them. Has chairs around her house that have brown stains on them. I’m embarrassed when my friends have to ride in her car and ask “did someone poop on your seat?” and she corrects them and says it’s period blood and theirs nothing to be ashamed of.

Anyways, i ended up having to replace my expensive gaming chair last month cause she sat on it when i told her not too. Well cue this week i find out she's on her period. So i bubble wrap EVERYTHING I OWN. However when she enters my apartment with her bloody dripping white leggings she notices my bubble wrap scheme and freaks out. She’s offended and asks why i would humiliate her like that, asked if i was ashamed of her for being a woman. Before I could say anything she left. She’s now demanding an apology.

Hidden cameras user, google it

I would have got her drunk and pounded her bloody for that.

Wont it be shit quality?

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Tell her to wrap up or pack up.

Idk I don't want to loose her. I love her so much! She wants me to start eating her out on her period too. Dont know how I'm going to get out of that

Honestly
Sexy Bubble Wrap Night >> Mediocre gf night
Keep the bubble wrap, ditch the girl

Nearby

Nah

>be me 15
>summer
>hanging with a couple older boys I dont know well because they could buy booze
>they got me real drunk like they hardly touched it just encouraged me to
>its getting late
>"are you ready to get fucked now"
>I was like... wtf no
>"doesn't matter you're gonna"
>they push me down onto the sofa
>idk why but I realise I'm getting super turned on
>my dress gets pushed up and they take turns

But I love her so much idk if I can live without her. Guess ill have to accept that this is my life now

I'm nearby to...

Email me if you wanna talk...
Non51 @ gmx.us

sent

How old are you now?
Even tried faking it with abf?

26 now

No lol too embarrassed to tell them

I have them tie me up sometimes that's about it

I talked some people into doing incest stuff

Ever show off your body online? Hear how you would be used?

No never. I actually never really feel attractive I guess like I'd feel super self conscious doing that. I've never really hit on guys irl like they come to me.

I'd try contacting you but I live in the antipodes so unless you're into online roleplay...

story

A couple guys already dropped emails if you really want

is ur name Mirell lol? I had like exactly same thing but I was one of the boys but the girl isnt 26 right now I think, more like 24 or so I think.

So I got fired today because someone creeped on me at work.

So I work at a Starbucks. Their coffee makes me have to poop. This morning I really had to poop. I ran to the ladies bathroom and removed my pants completely. I squat on the toilet facing the tank. This is how I always sit. The poop comes out easier this way. Anyways I forgot to lock the door. My male manager opens the door wide, so all of the customers can see me. He asks me why I’m sitting like that. Before I can tell him to leave me alone, the shit starts pouring out my ass, onto the floor some of it splattering on my manager. Somehow he slips and falls into my diarrhea, I can’t stop and poop squirts into he mouth and eyes. Everyone is screaming. The police arrive and arrest me for vandalizing the bathroom. When i came back to work the next day there was a huge poster in the office of me pooping out diarrhea with a fearful gasping expression on my face. Everyone’s been laughing and making fun of me.

I share pics of random hot girls with people online pretending they're my sister

They took turns? Like a devil's threesome? They sound kinda gay.

I werk at a Starbucks. A few days ago, I was using the restroom and farted really loud. Whatever it happens. When I came out however, I found out my crush had been in the lobby, and heard me fart. Worse my coworkers told him it was me and gave him my full name and everything. They also told him I had a crush on him. He used to chat with me regularly, now he won’t even look at me.

The next day, I find out I won partner of the month. Most stores do partner of the quarter, but our store votes for partners monthly. To commemorate the partner the month, we hang up a huge poster of our portrait and name. Anyways, I have to use the bathroom again, and again let out a huge fart. When I come back outside, my partners are mad at me. Apparently while I was in the bathroom, a bus full of handsome doctors came into the store and started to flirt with my partners. Suddenly they hear my huge fart and are disgusted. My poster is immediately rolled down right after the fart, and when they ask where the beautiful “first name last name” is, my partners tell them I’m the one in the bathroom farting. They laugh and “ewww” collectively, then decide to leave without buying anything because they are so disgusted. So I ruined that sale and my coworkers and my’s chances of getting cute doctor boyfriends.

Now onto today. I use the bathroom, fart, then come out to find everyone being evacuated. I find out our store is being closed down. I ask why? Apparently, while I was in the bathroom, the former president, Barrack Obama, enter our Starbucks. He said he was feeling generous, and wanted to award each of our partners $1 million. Then he heard me fart, was frightened asking “what was that was that a machine gun?” He took back his promise on the $1 million and ordered everyone to evacuate. When I told him it was just me farting, he and my manager berated me and said they would close my location down permanently. So yeah, now I’m looking to transfer to a new location.

> XxX ImGboardz toplist/

yip.su/2QSty5

Fuck it, message me on the G mail. Therapistdaniel299

Negative, I'm older than that. Never raped a girl either.

Is your name 3 letters?

No dude lol, why ask.

>Therapistdaniel299
Emailed you

>Back in the '90s, when I was a teenager I'd constantly take advantage of girls left in my room after parties, usually drunk/passed out. People quickly got the gist that my bedroom wasn't the drunk tank. Though more than a few frequents found their way in there. I'm pretty sure they liked it.
>I fucked my at the time girlfriends best friend and sister, after bff had admitted she had spiked our drinks. Sister started freaking out so we started massaging her and it kind of went from there. Both message me for nostalgia reasons from time to time.
>There's more. But I haven't the time right now.

Wow

I want to be with my cousin not just fuck her but be in a relationship with her. I jackoff to the idea of fucking her all the time. I'll probably never tell her unless she gets drunk and tells me first. I want drop my cum in her so badly.

I want to rape a girl that I killed, slowly cutting her open until she dies from blood loss cutting her larynx to stop her screaming

Woah there, careful with that edge

spoiler alert my dude, she would not be into it

i suggest you just get a hobby my man

this relationship is going nowhere. find a woman who respects other people and things

how about a little secret this is spam now you know

.gg/MmrSgS

cant find her on this site

then you are also a broken person and you two pieces of shit deserve each other. just do the rest of us a favor and wrap that shriveled wrinkle of yours up and don't ever have children

Welcome to /U/ (On The Discord App)

Discord Link
/kJu72fD

A server with...
>Actual *E-Girls*
>Boipussy, Nudes, Yea Forums Memes, NSFW, VC, Megalinks, Voila, Dropbox, Kik swap, Nude swap, Porn swap, Snapchat, pornchat etc

Post what you want Mods don't give a shit.

>More to come soon:)

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I'll give you young pud-whacks some super secret advice. Shit you won't find on the internet and your parents would never dare reveal. One day you'll hit midlife. Some of you will have a crisis, most should be able to cope. The secret to this is that everybody goes through it, and when you do you get a much better, evolved view of the world. Which means all that stuff your grandparents and other older people becomes very true. After 30+ the sex is easier to get, either the woman's a blown out mother with no prospects for the future, divorced and bitter, or just plain confused and horny. The man's either coping with body issues, divorced and bitter and alcoholic, or just plain confused and horny. Any of these people will have sex with you. Either for plain human contact, a quick stress release or a combination of anything. Because after 30+ we fucking know everything, as if God has removed a haze from our eyes and goes "this is what it's really all about". So if you're a kissless 29yo virgin, give it another birthday. Maybe you'll get the epiphany that is life and thus have all the secrets laid out for you. Or kill yourself, I don't know, I ain't your daddy (am I?). So yeah, there you go.

I wish I could obtain a large amount of money in a very short amount of time (preferably right now)
I visited the mickey Dee's thread and now I'd actually like to have some McDonald's
Damn man
I know mcds is fucking plain but I'd still tear those big Macs up (they aren't even big so I'd have to eat 5 before actually agreeing to them even being remotely big) woops

NO U

maybe scatsite?

we plan on having children next year

At least if she's pregnant you don't have to deal with the menses all the time. Do it now.

share.cloutpay.co/MadDog

True

Humans are dumb and live pointless dumb lives. Also they stink and arent very good to look at.

Also, Chris, your fat and people want to shoot you in your annoying loud mouth

Sad

can I get an onion address please? not very familiar with tor

Today my favorite Starbucks manager was fired and I don’t know how to handle.

My favorite manager, Kevin, came in two hours late yesterday. He was wearing a hoodie, some chubbies, and sunglasses. While customers and workers greeted him, he stood there silent. Suddenly, he squatted, lifted his left leg up and ripped the loudest, longest, smelliest fart I had ever heard. When he finished his fart, he held up both hands forming peace signs. While the customers were confused and disgusted, the employees thought it was awesome.

He headed to the bathroom to change to his uniform, but found that it was occupied. No worries, he decided to change in the middle of the lobby, in front of the customers and children. He stripped completely naked, as he wears different special lucky undies for work. People were shocked, screaming for him to cover up, hiding their children eyes. In response, my boss turned around and squatted while spreading his cheeks for everyone to see and ripped an even MORE epic fart.

Yeh he didn’t come to work today, so I’m worried he got fired for his epicness.

For the next two days I plan to wear the same underwear/jeans and ban myself from using a toilet to piss.

I went to an interesting strip club show the other day. It was a contest for best dancer, with different categories. It was hosted by a beloved gay man with a huge ass. When he first started the show, he introduced himself and explained what the contest was about. At the end of his introduction, he dropped his pants, turned around, bent over, and spread his ass cheeks so his butthole was showing. Everyone laughed and applauded because it was funny at the moment. However, after that he proceeded to ruin the contest.

For the first three contestants, he would jump on the stage and spread his butthole again, blocking the showing, clogging the jumbotron with his hairy asshole. When the fourth contestant came, he tried to jump on and was completely booed and blocked. It wasn’t until the second to last contestant that he managed to jump on stage one last time, spread his butt cheeks, jumping and dancing around like an idiot. He farted and shitted turds on everyone. The police were called and the guy who was once beloved by the community was run out of town.

>sad
I mean you're not wrong, but it's what I want. I'm gonna tell her how I feel before I move across the country that way I never have to see her again after she knows how I feel.
You don't get to choose who you're attracted too.

^ m8 seek help please

I changed my son on someone else table.

Two nights ago my wife (35) and I took our 3 kids to Olive Garden. Some background, our youngest, Jacsin, is 7 years old. We decided to continue breastfeeding him till he’s 8, as well as diapering him. It’s just too difficult to potty train and much healthier to breast feed. I did the same for the older two kids (11m and 15f).

Anyways, while we were dining. Jacsin did a big poop in his diaper. After 10 minutes of him screaming about his butt being mushy, the poop started to stink really bad. I realized I had to change it. However, the bathroom was too far from the table. Honestly, the restaurant should have bathroom closer to our table. My wife and I have talked about suing the restaurant because of this.

I couldn’t change Jacsin at our table, because we didn’t want to mess up our food. So, plan C it was. I approached the neighboring table of two dining couples. I said excuse me and plopped Jacsin on table, accidentally knocking over a few glasses.

I proceeded to change Jacsin’s diaper and accidentally spilled some creamy clumps of poop into the customers pasta dishes. Instead of being understanding of my dilema, the couples started to scream. I hushed them and told them to be more compassionate. Suddenly, Jacsin, with diaper down, started squirting and spewing diarrhea all over the couples’ , their food and their table. All of them got it in their mouths.

They immediately called for the manager while I quickly sat Jacsin back down at our table. Once the manager approached us, he told us to leave the restaurant. I told him no, this is a restaurant and families are welcome too. I was so angry that I threatened to never come back.

Luckily, the manager let us stay. He ended up kicking couples out because he didn’t want to loose our business. Honestly, I was so mad at the couples I tipped 18 cents on a $75 meal.

>tfw when you're only 23 and you already know this
Life is pointless we are just another animal on a rock floating through a never ending cosmos. Just a blip on the radar that is time.

same

I’m so mad about something that recently happened. So I’m a Christian women in the south. I work at a good ole chicfila. Last year, to honor my God-fearing workplace, I got a tattoo above my vagina that says “my pleasure,” with the chic-fi-la logo. This year I wanted to get a new tattoo, this time I want the inscription “my butt pleasure” above my butthole, with the chic-fi-la chicken showing it’s butthole. I wanted to get it in time for my church’s talent show, so I got it the night before the show. Unfortunately, my stupid tattoo artist used sharpie instead of actual ink which pissed me off. I knew the talent judges wouldn’t like it and disqualify it because it wasn’t real ink. Anyways, I wasn’t going to back out at the last minute, so I decided to go through with the talent show, hoping the judges wouldn’t notice that my tattoo was a fake.
The day of the show. I had to wait through three renditions of “Christmas shoes,” and a kid who’s talent was picking his nose with his tongue before I could hop on stage. Finally it was my turn. I slowly inhaled and confidently strutted on stage. I turned around, bent over and pulled down my pants to show off my new tat right above my perked butthole. A gasp came from the whole room, probably because they could tell it was a fake. I accidentally let out a squeaky fart. Everyone started coughing as they further grasped that my tattoo was sharpie and not real. Two burly church members grabbed me by my arms and dragged me to the exit doors and threw me outside on the grass. The pastor came out and told me I was banned from attending their church and threatened to call the police if I didn’t vacate the premises. I knew they would be disappointed that my tattoo was fake, but I didn’t think they would actually ban me from their church.

Yeah fuck you Chris

I just found out my gf has a dick. I didn't realize it until I felt her sliding it between my buttcheeks when she thought I was asleep the other night

this is hot jfc

>gf
>has dick
I've got some bad news user

You should probably seek help as well as him

Lol my buttcheeks

I destroyed a huge amount of weed that my stepson was selling. I dont know how much but it was at least the size of two shoeboxes and it was heavy. He was hiding it in my garage. He freaked the fuck out but I acted like I didnt know anything about it. He left town for a few days and sod his car. I wonder how much he had to pay back to his dealer.

it felt so weird having a dick on them

whats that?

yeah lmao I already do
therapy weekly and I see a psychiatrist every month. but thanks user

pls kys instead

Nothing too crazy. I live an OK life, but I fucking hate it. I just wanna leave but I'm stuck. Oh well I guess that's just normal feeling.

same man. I love it