TOWER THREAD

HEADS UP! THE S U P E R I N T E N D A N T IS MAKING HIS ROUNDS!

May the tower have mercy on us all!

Attached: yes.jpg (736x559, 66K)

I believe this man has truly transcended the limits of liner structure.

Attached: Transcend.jpg (3575x1821, 540K)

Why the FUCK have you not joined this server yet?
discordapp.com\invite\dkujHhf

cEbs

hey guys! floor 3495820!

this MoFo just found a working coffee maker.

Attached: kai and coffee.jpg (500x333, 78K)

Why the FUCK have you not joined this server yet?
discordapp.com\invite\dkujHhf

Kjir

SPAMBOTS WILL BE FED TO THE S U P E R I N T E N D A N T.

Why the FUCK have you not joined this server yet?
discordapp.com\invite\dkujHhf

QaEx

BANG

another one down.

Attached: big gun.jpg (1280x720, 136K)

ALL RESIDENTS BE AWARE: Levels 22938 through 36487 are still flooded after the transhuman riots. All transhumans should report to the commandant on floor 56784 for reassignment duties.

WILDLIFE ALERT: Leeches have become a problem again this month after the flooding. Be aware and be safe. One leech is too many. 63 pregnant young women found exsanguinated by leeches. This alert is active until 23:00 UTC (universal tower coordinated).

Does this warning apply only to green leaches like last time, or all of them. there is a nest of red leaches to rooms down from me.

(OOC: perhaps I should have made this thread later in the day.)

Ohh uh excuse me but can someone tell me what floor I should be on? I'm a bit lost.

I opened a club called 'The Roolf'. No niggers allowed.

youtu.be/6l6vqPUM_FE

Attached: whisky-bar-44.jpg (550x404, 65K)

Black leeches were the culprit this time. They were exposed to the coolant leak that led to the residential division reactor shutdown emergency on floor block 31000. The coolant is a known potent mutagen. These damn things are big and sneaky this time so watch out.

On a possibly related note, the cockroaches are particularly big this season.

Do you have actual liquor? or is it "bewze" and toilet wine like last time.

Floor 43554453238897, suite 345435

found this fuckin thing in my apartment on floor 29384

Attached: 173.jpg (1200x981, 169K)

Alright thanks. O-oh wait how do I get all the way up there? Don't the elevator keys only go up to 9999999999?

that's just the janitor, he's just shy. good guy though.

the elevator operators know how to get to floor beyond linear math

It's sleeping. You didn't wake it up did you? We can call the block supervisor and have it captured if it's still asleep before it starts traumatically impregnating people again.

I have no idea what that means and I don't I won't even ask.

I don't what was worse, traumatically impregnating people last month, or amputating peoples arms two months ago.

just tell Al where you need to go. he'll get ya there!

I think the cockroaches are a result of the new burial facility and daycare they opened on floor 371298. It's been attracting all manner of vermin since it rained last. Be aware that the lower floor runoff from the burial facility is being fermented into some sort of hallucinogenic drink called "bewze".

FAILURE TO APPEAR AT THE CHURCH OF EISENHOWER FOR WORSHIP WEEKLY IS PUNISHABLE BY BIZARRE TORTURE.

Attached: Dwight_D._Eisenhower.jpg (2782x3484, 1.5M)

MEDICAL ASSISTANCE I REPEAT MEDICAL ASSISTANCE REQUIRED! Hello? This is Jermaine Jackson III here from floor 336754 sector D. Im outside a bar called "The Roolf" and I was forcibly removed upon entrance and have been severely beaten by the personnel. Please come h.... *static*

These guys have been eating weird shit on floor 96542 all week. should we be concerned?

Attached: rhett and link.jpg (400x400, 34K)

Didn't you hear? They found almost all the arms up on 765543 all plastered together into some sort of macabre sculpture. There was an entire cult of those half ape half human groundskeeper crossbreeds that were worshipping the thing as a god for bringing more arms and hands. The ape things have since been reassigned to lower level sewer cleaners. I was reading that the Taco Bell Intertower Conglomerate has a deal to repurpose the grease sludge they pull up as a food source for the scum level inhabitants.

Ignore him, if he dies, we can make bewze out of him.

Attached: batman hmmm gif.gif (500x345, 408K)

man, I could go for some good grease sludge right now.

He is a false god, long cat is the true god

Attached: longcat.jpg (354x640, 43K)

Just how bizarre? We've been promised bizarre in the past and, honestly, it's been pretty mundane. I'm not so sure I'm up for more boring spleen ruptures or liver twisting.

Sure there is, just above floor -1
They call it "the lobby" but that makes no sense, as it has exactly the same layout as any other floor.
(except for the hydrophonics floors of course, but that goes without saying).

remember, they are talking 1950's level bizarre. like just weird colored pants.

This problem almost always seems to take care of itself. Are they having convulsions yet and screaming about giant birds? Just stay out of their way and keep your female units chained up inside until you see their skin start to swell and crack. They're no longer fertile after that so your female units won't be injured as much.

listen and listen good, the lobby and floor Z E R O are two different things. now be quiet about them.

*breaking static* hel....*inaudible* HELLO?! IM OUTSIDE A B.. * inaudible* ROOLF...Pl *inaudible* *static* ...the fuck on outta here nigg..*connection dropped*

hey guys anyone know whats up with my cat??

Attached: 1548063321969.jpg (483x375, 12K)

coulda sworn these two died two months ago.

But it says "0" on the stairwell?... granted, it doesn't say "Z E R O" in letters like that.
Just keeping you appraised.

Jane Müller, citizen, floor 340

THE GREAT BANANA WAR COMPROMISE

We hold these truths to be self-evident, Yea Forums was not created to be a board for Normal Fags, and that a board culture based on Lulz, being a necessary component to a thriving board, needs to be protected through adequate moderation. When threads become destructive to these ends, it is the right of the people to post banana and to abolish the cancerous threads.

This chan used to be a megical place to me by this board hijacked by INCELS and pedos who post loli to not get the fbi on their front DOOR... ALSO BY DOING IT YOU WILL SAVE THE FORUM FROM PEDOS ! REPOST THE WHITE REVOLUTION

Section 1. Ban all "NORMAL FAG" porn as follows:

- FACEBOOK FAP
- RATE MY GF
- RATE MY DICK
- WWYD (what would you do) THREADS
- CELEB THREAD
- PICS YOU SHOULDN'T SHARE
- FUCK/MARRY/KILL THREADS
- CUCK THREADS
- BLACKED THREADS
- TRIBUTE HER THREADS
- X Girls Thread (x = Latina, Asian, White, Big Tits, any other "NORMAL FAG" basic adjective to describe a girl.)

Section 2. L0li, Sh0ta, S/fur, G/fur, and Traps are TOTALLY EXEMPT from bannings. These types of porn have been on Yea Forums extremely close to Yea Forums's founding. As such, they are a part of Yea Forums's board culture and should be exempt.

Section 3. BANANA ARMY vows not to shitpost the board anymore if Mods ban all "NORMAL FAG PORN" laid out in Section 1.

Banana_id:z4i3e69t9i

They were probably just pupating. You can't trust they're dead until you see them crack open and all the larva come out.

I want this carved into granite now, if not sooner.

good point. been some time since I took bio-identification classes.

This is what caused the last revolt in block 664200. We voted to quarantine the banana cartel until this crap blew over. We're determine to break the hold of the addictive properties bananas have on the minds of the young.

Look, Captain. The nigger entered the establishment drunk out of his goddamn mind. Carrying on about this n that like a maniacal rabid trashpanda. Its all we could do to protect our well-to-do patrons. Now we didnt hurt em....not severely anyway. Oh hey there Sector Sergeant Pax, you get that card I sent you and the Mrs? /wink

Attached: Howitsmade.jpg (630x472, 74K)

YELLOW TANTRUM

We (I say “we” makes me feel part of a group) hold some opinions to be self-evident, I ramble on and on but make very little sense. I will throw tantrums and hold my breath until I get things the way I like it.

Yea Forums is a place for stuff, but I grew up a tiny bit so now I feel stuff is bad. I GET REALLY SHRILL AND AND MAY EVEN DISPLAY SOME RACISM!!!

Section 1. Ban all PEOPLE I DON’T PERSONALLY LIKE as follows:

- STUFF I DON’T LIKE
- SOMETHING I DON’T LIKE EITHER
- MORE STUFF I DON’T LIKE
- STUFF (I don’t personally like)
- STUFF THREAD
- THREAD WITH PICTURES I DON’T LIKE
- PEOPLE I DON’T AGREE WITH HAVING FUN THREADS
- MORE THREADS WITH STUFF I DON’T LIKE
- THREADS THAT AREN’T THE WAY I LIKE THEM
- THREADS WITH MORE STUFF I PERSONALLY AM AGAINST
- SOMETHING (that I personally don’t like but in a different way than above mentioned, it’s things that PEOPLE I DON’T LIKE like and it makes me mad)

Section 2. Here’s some stuff that I’m not triggered by so that’s okay.

Section 3. MY MAKE-BELIEVE GANG won’t throw tantrums anymore if Mods ban all PEOPLE AND THINGS I DON’T LIKE.

I’m not really anonymous because I want my identity known so I can prop up my fragile ego.

Attached: IdiotManifesto2.png (600x435, 72K)

FOUND SOME HONEST TO GOD LIQUOR! AND IT'S ALL MINE!

Attached: whiskey.jpg (570x471, 24K)

You'll need a cerebral update on the leech problem. The mutant black leeches have been attacking pregnant women again. You really need to identify them quickly or they'll try to mate with you unlike the red and green leeches which are rarely timid.

ANY ARGUMENTS ABOUT THE YELLOW INCIDENTS WILL RESULT IN EXECUTION.

SORRY BOSS!
I got carried away.

Janitor #0083/B, floor 740

Don't worry, I got laundry sauce!

Attached: clorox-bleach-4460030770-64_1000.jpg (1000x1000, 78K)

Found this weird forest on floor 33 its behind a door that says “ice and vending machine” I’ve yet to find either, there appears to be no ceiling its just a night sky I see a light gonna go investigate

Yellow is forbidden, citizen. Im afraid you'll have to come with me.

Attached: pathfinder-apex-legends-1.39.jpg (210x240, 19K)

CHARGE ON NOBLE EXPLORER!

that mofo dead.

Attached: pitbull.jpg (1000x1500, 1.04M)

You went up to the forbidden zone, didn't you? Is it liquor or a mnemonic implant again? Has anyone else actually seen you with it or are you just imagining it? The snack vending machine AI network up on the higher reaches went rogue last month which caused the memory coercion subroutine to malfunction and blow it's safety subroutines resulting in full on durable hard memory implants. It caused a whole host of problems. One citizen though he was a trashcan and died because he insisted everyone on his floor dispose of their glass bottles into him. All he wanted was a sniggers bar.

Dont apologize.
You were gorgeous last night.

xoxo Boss

Light it on fire and find out!

The stars aren't real! It's just a lure! You're being mind sucked by the giant parasitic brain arachnid. Someone send help, he's going to get raped.

Teehee, oh you...
No way! Boss forgave me!

Janitor #0083/B, floor 740

discord gg/sXycu3v

OFFICIAL TOWER SERVER
come join us and cleanse the tower

Attached: bliss.jpg (1920x1080, 869K)

It's too late, he's to far gone, just seal the hole up again and place something heavy in front of it.

is legit.

But the acid leak keeps breeching containment. We can't seem to shut down the hypermeth lab occupying the 87 floors above that floor. We're pretty sure the arachnid was just a common tower spider until the leachate from the hypermeth lab mutated it. It can now control reality in local pockets to attract mating hosts.

Update: the light was coming from these weird trees Like somethings shining on them but I cant find the source... I can’t find the door either

good point. use a chronopoint anchor and pull it back down to being a regular spider, then squish it.

Do you have an operator on your level? Ours has disappeared so we can't cast the anchor. We've lost three virgins trying a workaround but they were all too skinny for it to work.

Anyone seen him? Last update I got was that he might've been spotted on floor 32845.

Attached: 1542387476978.jpg (732x998, 71K)

Wouldn't recommend it. The trees are brittle to the point youre breath could collapse one of the smaller ones and contain radiation. Hence the glow, which is why you omitted this in your exploration application. They were blocked off by 649 vending areas to quarantine the forest as it began to grow into the Tunnel 15 years ago. Ever since the current executive administration has been in power, the forest is beginning to expand, thus destroying the vending area completely and spilling into the general area. Only those with former vision can still see the glow. Id get away.

use a Xi-field chromaton emitter to bypass the launcher protocol.

Citizen, you are not allowed on the hydroponics floors, that's for approved personel only.
Please don't let it happen again.

Dr. Joanna M. Smythe, Hydropnics expert, floors 500-540

I'm up on 153324 and theres a bunch of guys wearing robes and chanting. The fucking floor started to glow under them. Is tower security aware of this shit?

Thank you for your help citizen, enforcer units have been dispatched.

Attached: AMX-107Bawoo.jpg (233x400, 24K)

Attached: image.jpg (893x1462, 1.28M)

Shit, that make more sense than the output override we were programming. We kept overloading the photonic phase shifter. Why did we need three virgins for that? It doesn't seem like a good approach considering your idea. It cost the entire floor a week's worth of groont rations just to try it.

YOU DO NOT RECOGNIZE THE FACES IN THE BARK.
YOU DO NOT RECOGNIZE THE FACES IN THE BARK.
YOU DO NOT RECOGNIZE THE FACES IN THE BARK.
YOU DO NOT RECOGNIZE THE FACES IN THE BARK.

Calm the fuck down! It's just the plumbers I called to pray to the venerable excrement gods and get my toilet working again. Damn thing is boiling all over the place. We've had recurring problems with those boiling turlets this week.

Theyre trying to expand the forest. It never really works. They use artificial light devices and robes while chanting nonsense and pretend as if they are the aura of the trees. Ive heard in the days before the tunnel they were denied the action of biological reproduction.

Beams of red light are surrounding them. What the fuck is going on here? Are they summoning a demon? WAT DO!?

Calm. red light means they are business as usual.

They're calling the glubbles to advance the seed spore to another room. Like the last citizen said, it never really works. Everything just gets clogged with excrement since the sewer tunnels were sealed a while back.

This thread is authentically autistic

Just a quick update, I let my imagination get away from me sometimes. The red light surrounding the robe guys was indeed security. Enforcer units were on the level below, detected an unlawful gathering, and vaporized them. Can we get someone from maintenance to fix the holes in the floor though?

but fun none the less!

HEEEELP I found this cloth looking thing in an abandoned museum storage pod and now Im going up the elevator tunnels at a very high rate of speed! Cant stop it!

Attached: pexels-photo-64113-large.jpeg.jpg (372x297, 65K)

you'll run out of fuel eventually and float back down. just take a nap or something.

It really makes you wonder what could be done if the power could be harnessed. I mean beyond basic raids and minor social engineering. I'm beginning to think the ai singularity may arise from this autistic yammering somehow becoming self aware and finding it's mission.

Could someone tell the children in the cancer ward on floor 507 to stop fucking dying, it's two in the morning and their fucking heart monitors are keeping me awake

Attached: 1516132748227.png (402x457, 31K)

the name of that mission?

THE TOWER.

PSA: don't try to heat up the XR-27b rations.
i know it says "eaten cold" on the pack but i wanted to try doing a little cooking since i managed to get a small ethanol burner... don't, i'm still not sure i fully killed this thing, but at worst it's trapped in a jar.
and the smell, oh god the smell.

on a related note, please fix the air purifier on floor 7329 before we all die, please.

Dude, those a fresh fucking flesh! go eat!

Attached: FunPolice.png (600x600, 85K)

The autism room is on floor 123456789 you have to have some form of autism to get passed the mental faculties scanner but once you’re in you can do whatever you want to them.

Did you bring tribute for the guardian? You were warned about this last time, Randy. Our floor scavengers haven't worked right since that festival of stupidity you call exploration.

Doozers have been dispatched.

Attached: Doozer.variety.jpg (375x350, 33K)

That's you. I'm just having my fun calling you autistic, don't get so triggered by it. Autist.

let's not get off topic here people!

There isn't anything "official" here

Oh hell, I took it as a lightehearted poke at all this wasted creativity that's not directed at tranny porn.

If I wanted a snack I would just stick my arm out the window and grab the turds falling from higher floors.

Thanks for reminding us we're all in the autistic tower. At least we're alive unlike the women over in the cluster b tower. That shit got bad real fast.

is there really anything *official* about the tower in any way?

THERE
IS
NO
OTHER
TOWER.

THERE
IS
ONLY
THE
TOWER
NOTHING
ELSE.

If you want I could drop an anvil down the shaft, I still have a few left over from the avengers endgame premiere

We haven't released the final health advisory on eating spleel turds. Be careful, citizen, you don't want to be put into the Ward with a Disorder.

But.. I can see the other tower *holds up binoculars* look dude it's right over there *starts to point out the window*

Right, of course. I was having a bad dream. Only a bad dream. Tower is safety. Tower is provision. Tower is home.

THAT IS ALSO THIS TOWER.

IT IS A NON-LINER, NON-EUCLID STRUCTURE.

Okay which one of you jokers locked me in my room? Now I have to go into the connecting room to get out and I’ve been hearing light breathing coming from behind the door since I got here.

Mnemonic implant, nothing else. Some citizens need to believe in outside. There is no outside. Only tower.

>the toilet witch is back
welp, the access to proper sanitation was fun while it lasted. looks like I'm making dinner for this guy

Attached: 1548758142867.png (645x773, 11K)

You mean... Outside IS inside?

I see you too

Attached: image.jpg (822x1024, 790K)

Jeez, Calm down man - we just live on the floors 900 and upwards, we call those "The Other Tower" so we can feel special.

Citizen #09822/X, floor 945

Sorry, I have to take my job seriously. If I slip up, people die, or worse.

The initiates will take care of it. They have a 24 hour emergency number you can call and request service. They'll get to you in a week or so unless the sewers collapse again. Until then, just save your waste in sealed plastic bags and refrigerate it. You don't want to get fined by the Corporation for letting your waste spoil.

Plaid pants. Yeah we get it.

Youre not going to fucking believe this guys but not too long after I initiated that distress call I was sucked out some vortex and blacked out for a couple of seconds and Im here is some bizarre world , theres a glowing forest, air is MUCH easier to breathe,and some giant orange heat mechanism was lighting the entire place until it descended out of site in the last few minutes. I cant even describe it. I dont even know if youre getting visual or even audio from me at this point. Oddly enough, Ive met a couple of other folks who said the same thing happened to them but they aint from the Tunnel, theyre saying they are from all sorts of wild places. Ones been trying for 2 days now to recieve an acknowledgement of his broadcasts and started eating these strange plants growing everywhere. This is unbelievable.

Attached: 12082018_balloon_191314-1020x676.jpg (1020x676, 78K)

Keep on fightin' the good fight, citizen.

you belong to the not-tower now. farewell!

Attached: ed thumbs up.jpg (475x263, 21K)

To Section Chief Madsen, levels 500-999 regarding increasing radiation levels and unusual activity.
My Q-Meter (third class) has the needle on "orange" - I fear the Nodule Radiation has increased. Citizens on level 670-783 are complaining of chromatic dobbler effects and meeting themselves from five minutes ago.
Perhaps a case for environment division?

Sincerely May Thompson, Junior Janitor #0083/B, floor 740

oh wow this rat people invasion is much bigger than i thought, they're surprisingly alright people (and they're slowly getting why chewing cables and pipes is a bad idea) but their galleries are huge, over 30 floors long tunnels and small rooms
if you're around floor 450, just knock three time on the wall and leave some cheese (yes, that fake "cheese" works too) nearby, these guys trade it for some kind of fermented milk that's pretty tasty

Don't talk to him! It's a lie. It's a sickness. Discourage outside or we'll all become infected with the sickness.

SSSHHHHHHH....he's slipping off to death now, just leave him be.

Answer me now, is this man there with them?

Attached: 106.jpg (540x469, 56K)

Oy, don't knock the cheese man, he brings cheese.
He's okay.
(even if he IS radioactive)

Just making sure, he is the only one allowed to distribute large quantities of cheese.

Avoid the plasma pools! I tripped in one and it followed me for several hours. The golden rings can cause a very brief causality fracture. Stuff happens before it happens and you get paranoid. Don't eat while the radiation levels are that high. Just that me on that one.

So apparently I had dozed off after the distress call, at some point crashed into a maintenance access plank and was knocked out. Obviously I free fell back down and at one point came to, only to get too close to the side of the tunnels, knocking me out once again until coming to laying on my back were I started. I have total memory loss after the 2nd knock out and only vaguely have a still shot in my head after the first knock out of sending a distress call.

from what i get they had a war against him, not sure how or why but they managed to get him stuck somewhere in floor 401 somehow (apparently they still send people to poke him from time to time but they're scared shitless of it escaping)

No reason to worry then, we haven't got plasma pools up here, that's only the lower- and sub levels. I do think we have a temporal causality fracture up here though - just ten minutes ago I felt suddenly energized, so I drank a cup of coffee.
Causality is clearly on the blink.

May Thompson, Junior Janitor #0083/B, floor 740

Has anyone been back to floor 4713 since the meteor/nutria incident? I really want to know if my Nintendo switch made of concentration camp soap is still in the half bath of suite 11th

I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE

Attached: biz-p263243.jpg (585x682, 52K)

I heard one of the upper floor windows broke and some poor fucks got succed into space :(

Attached: 73EEF014-553C-48F9-8614-9E99D7941DBA.gif (200x200, 91K)

Space? What's space?
There's only the shaft, the middle that connects us all, the ever reacing inner part of the tower in which we live.
Soon you'l talk about "outside" and other such nonsense.

The meth lab on Floor 253746 has had an accident, if you are passing though wear a mask

Why are the top so afraid of us breaching the top level? I bet they hid something from us. We to snoop around.

Making some thanksgiving dinner if you're interested.

53ABA-928B1, Floor 15,909

Attached: pbs_twimg_com_media_D5lS7D2XsAAr.jpg (500x500, 21K)

I can prove outside is an illusion, I've been falling for 40 of my 46 years, I think I have passed the same spot 5 or 6 times in that time. So we must live in a donut universe's

Ready for execution, spamheads are rampant on floor 10. Bring guns.

That's the 47th incident this year.. I told management we should've employed actual chemists instead of relocating the orphans and putting them to task.

I just moved to the fourth floor... there are at least 100 floors beneath me. Can I just tell Al the elevator guy to keep going down until I get bored? Obviously the tower is a giant torus. Did we get launched into space when I was blacked out at that party? I don't even remember moving into this tower.

yeah actually if you see some kind of jam jar with purple tendrils that stinks a lot, try freezing it somehow and sticking it all in a REALLY airtight container, good luck.

anyone lose their baby?
While walking to my room on floor 80334, I noticed this little guy hovering across the floor. I tried to interact with "him" but no response. He continued forward.

Attached: JPEG_20190611_200242.png (1024x1024, 493K)

But I live outside? I deliver supplies to the tower. Just go to the main floor and walk out the door.

I swear they shouldn't let anyone at Tower Mental Institution use the internet. There's a reason you all aren't allowed to leave.

WAKE UP

That's not a baby!
That's one of the dread RAPE DWARVES we were warned about from our parents, and our parents parents and all the way back to the begining - you're lucky there was only one of them, and that it was the chocolate model, if you meet the mint-green models you're shit out of luck, they're the sado-masochistic model.
I hope you tagged it for future tracing?

That's not a baby. Did you notice it had a parasitic tooth lined sucking orifice like a lamprey instead of a mouth?

spooky men keep trying to promote their creepypasta fan fiction to me on floor 669

Attached: yummy.gif (263x350, 175K)

Unauthorised screaming heard on floor 18727.

I do not need to remind the residents of floor 18727 what happens to those who are found to be in breach of imposed serenity. If the guilty parties step forward quietly, the rest may keep their voices.

Please restrict all screaming to the designated noise rooms found on floors 351, 7843 and 20004. This will not be tolerated further. Please and thank you.

Just tell them you worship "Santa" or "Stan" or something, that seems to deter them.

Hey does anyone know what floor to get food on

Attached: 360fx360f (1).png (360x360, 55K)

I WANT TO GO OUTSIDE HELP

Attached: image.jpg (600x800, 121K)

Follow the sound of the cicadas. They tend to swarm around 26700~ and are usually too slow and lazy to avoid being caught. Some people prefer to cook them but I like the raw crunch

Every tenth floor has markets and warehouses.
You should know this by now - check your TimeMate for the location of your nearest outlet.

Joe Bland, service department, floors 500-999

You have to find one of the ai vending floors but they've been malfunctioning lately and playing tricks with your mind. Make sure you're hungry enough to warrant a run in with a mind control soda machine or a sexuality subverting candy bar dispenser. Also, the hot drinks are no longer hot, the cold drinks are luke warm, the bread is made of pudding for some reason, and the rat people aren't delivering cheese this week. The only food left to eat that doesn't cause sterility and shedding of the intestinal linjng is groont and you likely will need a sacrificial virgin to get some.

An asian man with 2 penises located on floor 38771

Yeah, that's Greg. Do NOT pull his finger.

I pulled Gregs finger once... I can't never play the violin again.

Most of those don't seem to work anymore. The train stopped running in the one near me. I'm not walking all the way to the back of a warehouse just to carry a 24 pack of rotten pineapples and a 6 pack of pianos to my apartment. Also, there's a feral koala problem up on 26399. The whole damned warehouse is covered in their webs and cocoons.

Those aren't cicadas. The public advisory was released last week. The community education committee held their information session about those. How did you miss both? Youl need to be quarantined now. We can't have another outbreak.

where can a cowboy find a goddamn pack of yeheyuans?

Attached: 14.jpg (194x259, 9K)

Attached: tiddies.jpg (1440x1080, 643K)

I saw them. I chose to ignore them. I know what it feels like to crunch on cicadas, and I KNOW that these are what I know they are. the education committee doesn't know anything. The cicadas told me so! I can hear it in their chirps.

You're the one that needs to be quarantined from their LIES.

Shit. I need a quarantine response team to floor 26893 stat. Parasitic biohazard containment protocol, level 3 suits and rebreathers. Bring the acid vat and thermite charges also just in case we face another wildfire scenario.

homemade mushroom moonshine very cheap on floor 374, also good muslim deterrent.

Attached: slavoid.png (332x335, 125K)

Looks like we're going back into the walls again.

i know someone who can trade food for other supplies
he has real canned meat, but he won't drop them unless you have some really good medical supplies (thankfully his booze is cheap, one bottle of cleaner and he usually will give you a small bottle worth of vodka)

I don't wanna go there, my friend went and said that there's no exits, even though it's supposed to be ground level
He could just be fucking with me, but I don't want to risk knowing for certain that there's no way out

Attached: HELP ME.png (669x606, 95K)

Exit? You mean, you want to leave your apartment? I'm not sure I follow.

If I wanted to eat dying radioactive starving people I'd go up to floor 716237889, their reactor had a meltdown (again) last week and they keep throwing the bodies down the stairwell. Really fucking annoying

all that your dark desire tortures

I´m nervous, why do I no talk about hydrophonics, I should not read floors I no talk about

you wanten me and for a cryout and nuggets, is we teamin out meet floor 3150 it´s >>803350709
as I red him he had been raped

What in the fuck is this?

>Be on floor 726329
>Keep hearing dripping from the room above
>Keep shouting at them to fix their fucking tap
>Finally go up to shout at them
>No answer
>Door's unlocked
>The apartment's empty except for a body hanging from the ceiling dripping blood on the floor
>The dripping noise has been happening for at least 3 days
There was a whole family living there a week ago
I'm moving the fuck out

yeah, you'll stop complaining about food problems when you learn how to cook roach meat, fuckers are bigger than my feet, everywhere on my floor (and from what i heard most floors, actually).

the real supply issues are the BBs to shoot them (it might take a few but really, save your real ammo for the bigger trouble) and the seasoning them (italian and chilli works well, but even just basic salt and pepper really helps)

Ground.. level? What does mean? Every level has a floor, that's what you walk on.
Or do you mean hydroponics? They have "ground" I suppose, or "earth" for growing things in... I have no idea what you're talking about.

Attached: 8C6A0323.jpg (1300x866, 416K)

In a kitchen on floor 865 there is some kind of flying jelly fish like thing in the hallway outside and it stung my leg
>inb4 response team kills the jellyfish and then us they really are incompetent

Attached: C34C6BB1-0FB7-45A1-A888-06B621465D34.jpg (4032x3024, 1.61M)

This is our bathroom, I’m trying to do some basic first aide but the skin on my leg is slowly turning glassy and hard and I don’t want to cover it up with something that could infect it or make it worse

Attached: DB090AFA-5392-4C62-B18B-2EE668A0D98C.jpg (318x450, 142K)

Thorough decontimation protocols are necessary to ensure the longevity of the tower and the safety of its inhabitants

REAL 'MEAT' FOR SALE ON FLOOR 668!

For the non-discerning, the hungry and the refined palate, we are now selling the reddest, bloodiest meat in the tower! Guaranteed to be 25% cheaper than the next competitor and 50% less likely to give you the shakes! Dom't buy from Abdul on 667 unless you want kuru and the bloody squirts!

Open to barter, no tab.

And on a further, only partially related note, the reported incident on floor 865 has been taken care of.

You're seriously just gonna go because he told you to?? Don't. It's not worth it. Stay here.

Send the remains to my son in the back shop and you will be reimbursed. Just let him know your favourite cuts and you will not be disappointed, my friend.

Attached: 1543715917552.jpg (450x600, 24K)

Good God, why did you have to bring up yellow?

Unauthorised entity detected in the service elevator. Engaging explosive decompression.

ATTENTION ALL CITIZENS !!
The unauthorized use of unlicensed and unauthorized rape dwarves is strictly forbidden.
Any and all offenders will be processed and sent to rehabilitation.
.
Maintenance

Attached: 5663663864.jpg (2112x1614, 142K)

Obviously forged post. Nothing to see here citizens.

Attached: 1549827886699.jpg (112x112, 2K)

ATTENTION ALL CITIZENS
The White Zone is for loading and unloading only. If you got to load or unload go to the White Zone.
I repeat,
The White Zone is for loading and unloading only. If you got to load or unload go to the White Zone

All I hear is FRESH BEWZE

What kind of meat is this? It's unnaturally red...

You will immediately cease and desist comrade citizen.
Your apartment number and log in information has been checked.
This is your first and only warning.
.
Security officer
Vladimir Nabokov
# 279- AN-459

Too many questions citizen...

If you're asking that question, you're clearly not hungry enough to be buying my produce. Clearly you have the funds to buy some administration mandated rations for the approved suppliers. I think it's best that you leave, friend.

From the rat colony on the farming and agriculture floors.

help a newfag out, what is this whole thread about?!

Where?

># 279- AN-459
You almost had me

Attached: 1508161493439.jpg (512x512, 28K)

The tower..

What tower

I'm sorry, my children are so hungry. I just want the best for them. It's been so long since we've had real meat. Please, take anything I have, I just need enough for them

Al or AI

This fucking tower you retard

This is citizen #7589 on floor 497.3 apt number 39.
I will be having a suare,a party if you will...
The will be music and games,as well as refreshments and snacks.
The door is open to everyone, bring a friend.
Tonight at 8 pm .

...You're already here, are you not?

I'll take salt, spices and booze. Failing that, i'll take a daughter. The plumber the better. I'll give you her weight in flesh.

No, come to apt 38! We have better snacks! (PS John, I know what you're up to)

Be sure to leave out some nuts and bolts for the Wailing Waif, as is tradition on 497. You won't get many guests if you don't appease her.

im in the basement

Subfloor -10,191 Room Faggot
Me and my friend found this down the hall and took pictures of it. Now we feel funny and our hair is falling out. Please send your Tower doctor and maintenance crew.
(Excuse me I have to vomit)
Thank you.

Attached: What Is This.jpg (1200x816, 260K)

I LIEV ON FLORR 0

The tower is life..the tower is shelter.
There is nothing out there but the tower.
When the shadow people came , when the world darkened,the tower took us in .
Maintenance and security are provided.
There is no outside,there is no roof, there is nothing but the tower.
Please schedule a mind scan and refresh your memory citizen.

Maintenance.

About a cycle ago, I was working with Reclamations about 3 levels below this. Now, I come into shift and its all flooded, with some janies helping a dive team pull bodies out of the water.
It's shit like this that makes me think Maintenance is either incompetent or malicious.
That water is more clear than anything I've ever seen come out of my section's shared tap. Where the fuck could that much clean water come from in that short of a time?

Attached: flooded-basement-in-abandoned-brewery-x--56339.jpg (610x343, 157K)

This is a trap.
Hes just trying to harvest some more meat.

Floor 10010 can kill all the above floors, we planted explosives all over and we might do it. This is big because then, floor 10010 will the the official top floor, thoes breaking the norm, faggots

Attached: 25446485_1799380340358583_5578953274236347436_n.jpg (400x338, 20K)

Cut it out Jeffrey, its not like that,im just lonely and want some company.
Ive changed, im a better person now.

Tell me who runs The Tower.

Attached: Who Runs Bartertown.gif (352x240, 1.47M)

Nice try shadow person.
Go away

LIES!!
Lies !!!!
My grandmother told me stories of the outside and of fresh air..
Lies i tell you!!!!!

I see the discord trannies at floor 12 have breached containment.

A moment, please.

Attached: german_ww2_paratrooper_in_crete.jpg (600x442, 76K)

This is what you say every time! When I came over to borrow sugar you had a stack of body bags in your living room. At least I hide my body bags

Im sorry citizens, but you have come in contact with a mold fungus of level 2 contamination.
The sub floor will have to be purged with napalm and disinfectant.
We're sorry for the inconvenience.

Maintenance

Wait, i forgot my map, what room is the Chernobyl Bar and Grill?

Attached: 1283.png (85x127, 16K)

It's pretty down here.

Attached: 63bd1757f74f982ea1e11397c9d1d239b3648000_hq.jpg (1024x576, 61K)

I suspect so, too. I've known a few Citizens that have gone to a "party" and never returned. Next thing you know, there's a temporary increase on fresh meat rations.
Don't go thinking that you are safe because you know some of the people there. Even if the party itself is on the level, an open announcement like that can easily attract the wrong kind of people.

There is no top floor.
There is no bottom floor.
Just the tower.
Please remain where you are.
A security detail has been dispatched to the location.
.
Security outpost# 6599

What am I seeing? I've never seen carpet that clean or a ceiling that high.

They are everywhere, please use caution.
As they are infectious

I told you that was the old me.
Ive been rehabed and im a vegan now.
So cut it out, you're going to ruin my party.

It's in the negative floors. I forget which one.

Floor 10010 is taken by us, We are familiar with your brain washing technics, but ower kind has evolved beyong that. We will free the people in here, We will free ourselfs. The plan is simple, Big explosion, Top tower falls, We become top floor, And then we will start a hierachy. The higher you are, the more influence you will have. This is happening soon, Like it or not. Enough with this tower nonsence.

Attached: 1533920131548.jpg (1152x1410, 757K)

Attached: 5311400912.jpg (1866x1620, 192K)

Floor 697.5
Next to the glowing wall of fungus.
They have a great happy hour.

Blasphemy!!!
All citizens will ignore this.
It is a feeble attempt to distract you from your dedication to the tower.
Its fake , please move along, nothing to see here.
Move along please, there will be no conversing with other citizens about this.
.
Security

The tower is infinite citizens,
Ignore this.
It will be dealt with accordingly.

Security

>thank you for this thread,it brought me memories.
I'M GOING OUTSIDE !!!!
Or die trying.

hey can you send a sample to floor 1362 apt. 35b? i have the material to run some tests on it.

The tower runs the tower.
Please refrain from asking such questions.
.
The Tower

*¶vrs#""**hl

Attached: images.jpg (300x168, 7K)

Ok no more pig shit power for you.

Floor 1 here, I keep hearing strange things below me and my cat wont stop T-Posing

Attached: Screenshot_20190625-021809_Lynx Remix.jpg (656x687, 193K)

Setup a comfy garden on this top fancy of placement with a proper rubber pool and a sand from the finest of the offers. Ethernet from your apartment to prevent the CIA to collect your meta.

Attached: IMG_20190628_085926.jpg (480x360, 68K)

Negative floors, eh? Kids like you are exhausting.

My grandfather used to work for the Lower Floors Area under Reclamations. When he started there, they honestly thought what is now Floor 300 was the lowest you could go. Management got really angry when some of the LFA Maintenance teams decided to start repainting floor numbers, starting from that baseline. This was before all Management and Maintenance were folded into one, and some LFA Sectors had a fair bit more autonomy.

Finally, the LFA Chief Maintenance Officer issues an ultimatum: Either give us dive equipment, so we can go lower, or give us paint and we'll repaint floor numbers.

The requisition went through really fast, maybe 2 or 3 years? Anyway, they'd slap a rebreather and goggles in any kids hands and call him a diver those days. Sure enough, after some valve work, the water began to drain down. Took it the better part of a month to open up a whole 'nother 40-odd floors, and management is pleased.

But the LFA CMO starts asking, all that piping, all that valve work, where did the water drain to? So he goes down, down, way down with a big crew, and they sees the oldest, lowest number anyone ever saw: 23. This wasn't even paint, mind you - an old plaque, tin even. Floor 23.

So they decide to head back. Some want to go lower, but they were already down to half the crew, and getting back was going to require coordinated effort. The LFA CMO himself takes the plaque down to show Management, and what does he see?

Behind it, cast, right into the concrete:
>Section 3, Floor B5-M7, Sub-floor 423
>250 k-cycle retrofit, Maintenance Crew P18

The only reason no one goes deeper is because of the flooding and the worse things that live in the dark. You can talk about Floor 0 if you want, but if you chipped off that paint, you'd see what we called 0 was someone else's 1000.

There is no bottom. The Tower is just Floors, Floors all the way down.

Attached: 0_a413a_65ac1a9d_orig_full.jpg (1024x683, 656K)

Floor 99999 here, come over, we have COCK AND BALL TORTURE

I'm on floor 237901 and this guy just walked through the wall, what do I do?

Attached: 106emergenceklay.jpg (1920x1440, 691K)

Im at the bar and this guy just slapped my GFs ass, what do?

Attached: 4.jpg (619x764, 51K)

That startled me. kek

Comrade Koliat?
Is that you.?
Last i saw you , you were diving in the sublevels and welding the leaks in the structure.

Any rape dwarves around?

Is he friendly?
He's making weird noises and slowly walking towards me

Run,,shes already his.

You can run, I suppose, or pray. At best, you can try to distract or amuse him in hopes that you may be spared. Ultimately if he comes for you, you will do nothing, because you can do nothing.

Attached: 1553148784656.jpg (481x529, 22K)

Remain calm, avoid eye contact .
A team has been sent.
.
Security

Who do you think runs the place

Give him a meat ration and wait for the security detail.
It might be friendly but then again some shadow zombies are known to turn on people without warning,,like pit bulls

Ok, but they only have floors 389 to 590

Oh shit, is this the endless apartment shit from R9K?

Fuck he cut my Achilles, HELP!!!

I wonder where this goes

Attached: 200px-SCP-087.png (200x156, 21K)

Guys I jokingly hit 0 in this weird elevator and it just keeps going down ... I've been in it for hours and it's still going down. The floor number at the top turned off after awhile but I can still feel I'm going down. Am I going to die?

Punch out the roof panel and climb on top of it, what do you see?

Well I don't think the elevator will kill you. But I hope you brought a lot of food.

My diving days are over, but it didn't go as bad as it has for many.

You might have heard official word on how we lost half a dive crew down there to a bad accident, and that's why we've been behind schedule. Dive work has always been dangerous, and the loss of a diver is sad, but not surprising.

You might have heard some other things from friends and family. Let me tell you:

It ain't a rumor, it happened. I was there.

It wasn't the usual faulty equipment or inexperience. I know these days with the schedule there's pressure to give an hour's worth of equipment training and call someone a diver, but that wasn't it.

These were actually proper divers, and this "accident" was different. Something grabbed one and pulled hard enough to jerk the lineman into the water. The tether was spooling out like nothing I've seen for a bit, then it went slack. They were reeling in his tether and two other divers got in to assist, then there was a hell of a lot of splashing in murky water, and that was that. No one saw any of them again. The tether did bring in a ragged piece of the dive belt it was attached to, but nothing has been seen since.
Not that anyone is really looking, by the way. Once word got out, no one has even gone close to the water. Maintenance threatened to shoot a crew member for flat out refusing, but a crowd of us old heads started to form and the only way to defuse the situation was to put a dive helmet on the Maintenance man, who changed his tune real quick.

There's something in the water.

Attached: 1483575073769.jpg (1068x640, 125K)

Is there anyone on floor 23982?
There's no lights and I can't find an elevator or even staircase. Rooms keep opening and closing but when I investigate there's no one in the direction of the sounds.

What happens if i jump out the window?

Its been said that whoever jups out of a window just re appears in another floor.
Without their memory.
You thinking of trying it?

I’ve got a penny somewhere

I do think we have a temporal causality fracture up here though - just ten minutes ago I felt suddenly energized, so I drank a cup of coffee.
Causality is clearly on the blink.

May Thompson, Junior Janitor #0083/B, floor 740

Of shit man!!!.RUN!!!!
..oh wait....

Whats a r9k?
Is that a subfloor?

I miss creepypasta. That was actually solid content.

i imagine you can't see out of the first 2-3 floor windows because of accumulated garbage

I took the upward stairs from floor 423 and wound up in floor "423+i". I tried to go back down but I just ended up back at this floor. There aren't any elevators.
What do?

Attached: doubletree-by-hilton.jpg (550x309, 18K)

.

Please remain calm and
Don't panic.

Maintenance

well I was but that doesn't sound fun.. can we find a janitor or something and push him?

this is great

Well?
Report..

Trips confirm. Everything will be fine.

Certain death

Rape dwarf nest.
Now what?

Hello May.
Uhh... could you come by for a minute?

Prepare your anus

66666?

Daaaamn..

Fucking tower...

I am calm, time is just a bit wibbly right now.
We've tried that before, remember? Best leave it alone.

May Thompson, Junior Janitor #0083/B, floor 740

THIS THING IS FOLLOWING ME

Attached: 1529883838502.jpg (500x667, 65K)

I am calm, time is just a bit wibbly right now.
We've tried that before, remember? Best leave it... alone... I'm having déjà vu...

May Thompson, Junior Janitor #0083/B, floor 740

wtf is that? Peach Trees from Dredd?

Attached: 8104249753.jpg (2360x1404, 171K)

Al

Sieg Heil

I think I understand what people say when they mention "outside" - we found this nice place above the hydroponics lab on 1500-1550.
We're having tea.

Forgot the pic...

Attached: marketinglawn.jpg (1181x757, 135K)

TowerSEC officer here

Despite the rumors, we fair no better than the rest of you. The ratmen riots have been getting out of control. That goddamn fermented milk stains like nothing else.

>Born in the tower
>Spent my whole life in the tower
>Gonna die in the tower

Tower is love
Tower is life

Attached: icu.gif (397x397, 84K)

I can't calm down! None of the windows on this floor open, I'm going to start digging through the floor at this point!

Tower Thread Best Thread

Oh for crying out loud!
What level are you on?

May Thompson, Junior Janitor #0083/B, floor 740

I don't remember

It's a loop of some sort, I can't get out

Put meat ration at its feet and bow down without making any eye contact.
It will eventually move on .you act like you've never seen a shadow person, you chicken

Floor 232982. But I don't recommend coming to get me, May, security staff came to lead me out two hours ago and I haven't had contact with them since. I ran out of battery in my flash light and am using my mobile to see.

I don't remember.

The White Zone is for loading and unloading only. If you got to load or unload go to the White Zone

Update, I hear a child crying.
How do I proceed?

Find this on floor 289046789, what do you think it does?

Attached: t08v13alpe5z.png (960x540, 789K)

So, I took the elevator ride from lobby to the top level. I did dis while standing on a scale to prove me theory that the tower has its own center of gravity.
Long story short, it doesn't. It went linear from 262 to 261 pounds and that's most likely because I did not drink and boy I sweat alot

TowerSEC officer here.
This guy is just crawling around yelling about random shit. The lights on that floor work fine, and he has a squished banana in his hand.
The ratmen riots have finally subsided, but the whole black leeches thing is really getting out of hand.

Turn your causality around, go by urges, it's easier to break the anachronism.
Well, call Section Chief Madsen, his area is from 500-999, I'm only active on levels 740-750, it's a big tower, man. But we may be able to contact Maintainance on levels 232500-232999 - though I didn't think we had that many floors.
Turn your causality around, go by urges, it's easier to break... the anachronismic... loop?
Am I repeating myself?

May Thompson, Junior Janitor #0083/B, floor 740

Mushrooms do not produce sugar
Drink your fermented piss yourself

It's a porcupine sceleton from the pre-tower days, all those millenia ago.

I've been waiting in this 423+i hallway for like an hour. I'm bored as shit.

THE TOWER IS MOVING AHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

Security, he's indirectly talking about the outside

Pour some salt on them, that'll sort the leeches.
Man... I'm busy today.
No it's not, it's just the gravity generators being odd again.
I'm not security, I'm junior janitor, not my department.

May Thompson, Junior Janitor #0083/B, floor 740

It's a shovel, Officer! Have you heard from Officer Williams? I'd feel awful if he died trying to help me.
I just tried to reach him but he disconnected when I told him what floor I was on, am I not supposed to be here?!

Classic shadow people bait.
Ignoring it would be advised.
Look for the yellow service elevator if you want to get out.

I don't remember

I don't remem...
Oh wait..
Never mind

FURTHER DISCUSSION OF SUPPOSED "PRE TOWER ERAS" OR ANY MENTION OF "OUTSIDE" WILL BE MET WITH IMMEDIATE SEIZURE AND INDEFINITE DETENTION.
YOUR FLOOR LEVEL AND DESIGNATION HAVE BEEN LOGGED VIA TimeMate.
-TowerSEC automated systems

An hour??
Thats all?
Citizen i walked it for four days until i came to the service elevator.
Good luck

Did we? I don't remember we should try "again" to confirm your findings and make sure you're not trying to dodge your duties

Try Maintainance? Their number is always open.
Well I'm su...
..re you... ah, that seems to have broken the loop just fine. Go get some coffee, it helps.

Hello May.
Satan much?
I always thought you janitorial people were a bit off.

Shut up with the screaming and take your gravity pills

I found the weirdest thing the other day. on floor 621440 suite 543 there was a collection of comic books numbering in the hundreds. upon closer inspection the comics were ordered by publisher, then date. The weirdest thing however was the skeleton in the center holding a picture of some old white bald guy. anyone know what it could mean?

Good think I updated to TimeMate MKII™

What happens if I put my dick in a shadow person?

try to reach floor 423+not i
it should be just a blink away

I don't rem
AAAAAAAAA AAAA AAAaaaaa!!!!!!
ber

You should see Maintainance then... whew, lemme tellya...
That's a mausoleum for the lost souls of million of nerds, whose imagination brought forth the tower, blessed be their specs. Stay out of there, it's sacred ground.
DRINK SOME COFFEE AND CONSULT YOUR TIMEMATE'S CHRONOFIELD!

May Thompson, Junior Janitor #0083/B, floor 740

May Thompson, Junior Janitor #0083/B, floor 740

Its like trying to fuck a pit bull that doesn't know you.
It could go many directions.
But if it works...boy o boy... you're in for a hell of a ride.
Why? What's on your mind citizen?

In a strange turn of events, Officer Williams was actually impregnated by a very confused black leech. He's currently in Medical Floor 2234 and the doctors can't stop laughing.

Jack Walters, TowerSEC Officer #2317

>its been a great thread Yea Forumsros.
Citizen #FD77439.09 out....

>way out
somebody call maintenance, we got another one of these delusional "outside" believers that needs to be put down

o7 Comrade!