I'm a doctor, 1 week from finishing residency, and everything in my life is in a downward spiral. My beloved dog who helped me through my depression at the end of high school is turning 14 and essentially on his deathbed. His rapid worsening in his health over the past 6 months has already made me very depressed. About 2 months ago, my strong and hardworking dad called me out of nowhere and told me he's had enough of my mom's raging alcoholism and is leaving her. He's been living in his boat since then. I desperately wanted to help my dad, but I'm doing residency a few states over, and about 9 months ago I signed a contract with an evil physician group for a well-paying career even further from where my parents are. I've been having daily panic attacks for the past few weeks as I get closer to my moving date because I don't think my dog is going to survive the long car ride, and I feel like I'm abandoning my father.
I grew up in poverty and had to take out loans for college and med school, so I'm already worth about -$300,000. Last week, I finally decided to do something, so I met with a contract lawyer to discuss breaking my contract. He requested information about my contract from the physician group, and as soon as that group found out about that, they terminated my contract and are filing a lawsuit against me. The lawyer is telling me it's not looking good for me and I'll probably have to declare bankruptcy if and when I don't win. My girlfriend is really upset with me for suddenly changing our life plans by moving back to where my parents are, even though she was supportive at first. I'm going to tell her tomorrow about how I'm going to be financially ruined, and it's going to really make her depressed and more upset with me.
Today I called in a prescription for a highly lethal dose of propranolol and the pharmacy didn't bat an eye. I've got Wednesday morning off and my girlfriend is working overnights this week. After my girlfriend leaves on Tuesday, I'm going to delete all my social media and porn and change all my passwords to everything else. Then I'll type something into a word document and leave it open on my computer. Then I'll eat a lot of edibles and start sipping wine. Around midnight or so when I'm drunk and high enough to blissfully fall asleep right away, I'll take all the propranolol, lay in bed with headphones on and my suicide playlist playing, and within an hour or two my heart will have stopped.
It's been a shitty life and it's only getting worse with each day.
seems reasonable, too bad you can't do anything to really fuck with that evil physician group though.
my dog died a couple months ago after getting sicker and sicker over the course of three months. i was heading to a really dark place and ever since putting her to sleep life just feels pointless and not worth living. i eventually decided to get a new puppy so i wouldn't immediately kill myself, but i'm still kind of regretting that decision because it did not make me any happier.
Thomas Cook
>is doctor Can cope with mortality lmao
Samuel Perez
Panic attacks huh? Why not get xanax and chill the fuck out?
Bentley Green
can you PLEASE take out some politicians on your way out.
They are parasite scum
Ryder Thompson
TL;DR
Just do it faggot, dpnt sit on here and post like a little bitch. Cause we all know you wont. pussy.
Nicholas Gray
Livestream it on ig what is your @
Jaxon Fisher
Your dog and dad are going to be so sad you are gone. Please get help. Call a suicide hotline.
Eli Johnson
>is larping this hard >this desperate for human interaction kys fr
Hunter Martinez
Doctor heal thyself or get help
Landon Hall
or at least wait until your dog is actually dead before you join him in oblivion
Connor Parker
That is the problem with people with perfect lives. The 1st problem they encounter, I want to end it. Should I tell how difficult my life is? No. There are too many humans on these planets and doctors have their highest rate of suicide. So...
Jeremiah Young
Lifelong Major Chronic Depression and on the autism spectrum reporting in. Docfag speaking to you from my mid fifties I'd like to let you know a few things. FIRST, bankruptcy was the best fucking thing I ever did. The older you get the faster time flies and I don't know bout 'Merica coz I'm a leaf but up here Credit agencies can only report on your bankruptcy for 7 years. That seven years goes by faster than last nights Korean Zombie UFC fight. Blink of an eye you are free and clear. SECOND Depression and anxiety can improve significantly under medication and that talk therapy bullshit shrinks use is NOT bullshit at all. If you see a shrink or agoddamned priest or shopping mall counselor all you need is to talk about your shit with someone as infrequently as an hour every three months. Big trick is that you don't want to be wasting your time there so you gradually get used to ruminating on things you might want to talk about in your next session. Over time this makes you more introspective and helps you put the shit in your life into perspective. knowing you have an appointment with a therapist in a month keeps your mind ruminating and processing your issues. Over time this results in amazing discoveries about yourself, your issues and the pressures become easier to manage. Gonna come back here in a bit coz I got lots more to say but I want to post this so it bumps and pushes the thread up
Docfag are you still there? Leaf again with lots to say from my perspective of middle age having coped with mental illness, alcoholism, divorced parents, divorced myself after 20 years of torture, and having arrived at the present where I am honestly the happiest and sanest I have been in my entire life. Lots to say to you man but I gotta hear you breathing out there coz I'm a two finger typist and I'm not wasting my time if you have wandered off to pity yourself somewhere else.
Well I may be another faggot on this imageboard but user it ain't the end of life.Get some help,you can make it.
Thomas Robinson
>and as soon as that group found out about that, they terminated my contract and are filing a lawsuit against me. Excuse me doctor, but how can they file a lawsuit against you when they instigated your termination. All you did up to this point was consult a lawyer. The proper response would have been for the physician group's lawyer to advise your lawyer that if you break the contract you will be sued.
Asher Adams
This is definitely bait post just because of this, there is no fucking way they would sue him for consulting with a lawyer over contract termination there is no legal basis for something like that.
T. Lawyer
Nathan King
Seriously >is doctor >I'll be financially ruined
Luis Fisher
>he doesn't realize the whole thing is some virgin sperg's fantasy
Ryan Harris
First lets talk about love, specifically doggo love. We don't deserve dogs is something I often hear people say. It's true there is no finer friendship in the world than that which dogs bestow upon us with their unconditional love. Cherrish that love while your doggo is alive and cry like hell when he goes but let me tell you a little secret, that love NEVER dies. You never have to stop loving your dog and you never have to let go of everything his love has meant and always will mean. The only thing that changes when doggo has to go is that his pains and aches are gone and yours will amplify for a time because we fear change and we get used to wanting those who share our path and our love to be ours forever. Grief and time slowly reveal to us that what we share with EVERYONE who we love stays with us always. The beauty of love is that we have an endless capacity for it and absence really does make the heart grow even fonder.
Stop being such a faggot. If the current set of circumstances is worth ending your life over, then why not just ditch the residency? If it's about what you want, then do what you want to do. If it's more about what will be hurtful to your parents, then suicide is obviously just about the worst choice. Either way, you're clearly making a stupid decision.
Ethan Brooks
kill your dog first, he's already in a bag place, and he needs you by his side for the end. you've had him for, what? 10+ years? he'll never know why you're gone, and he'll be sad about it and his way out will be without his favorite thing in the world, you. so wait until he does, or put some of the propranolol in his favorite meal, and pass on to Valhalla together. godspeed, user.
Hudson Walker
Why don't you quit being a little bitch jesus fucking christ no one cares about your little sissy foo foo problems you fucking little girl.
You aren't telling the whole story or you're trolling because you can't get sued for thought crimes you fucking moron. "Oh we think maybe he was considering breaking his contract so we'd like to sue him".
Fucking hell man maybe you were meant to be dead since you're such a whiney little bitch who'd rather take the easy way out than go through some hard times.
Docfag, now lets talk about growing up. I have a wealth of experience on this topic because I spent decades trying to avoid it and it didn't happen until my early fourties. You have just spent 7 years in university preparing for the vast nebulous FUTURE. While you were in school you didn't have to face growing up because that would miraculously occur when that always ahead of you future finally arrived. Once out of school you knew that you still had more time before the big TAH DAH where you had to assume complete mastery of all things previously only dreamed of. Really you didn't have to finish growing up until you finished residency right? Then you will be a man my son right? Wasn't that Kipling or somebody? Anyway a HUGE chunk of what is going on with you right now is an enormous FEAR of assuming the mantle of responsibility that had always laid out of sight and distant. Right now you are panicking because you are afraid of huge change. As a sperge I can sympathize. I am a creature of habit as a lot of people on the spectrum are and just moving residences is as anxiety producing to me as major tragedy in a normal persons life. But I'm here to tell you that we establish NEW familiarities FAST and soon what is new becomes old again. And growing the fuck up happens really when we readjust all of our expectations we had for ourselves and arrive at a comfortable acceptance of where we find we have arrived which is NEVER where we thought we were going. Also about the future, as an alcoholic let me tell you the future NEVER arrives. Tomorrow is always a day away and so as the juicers say we take only ONE day at a time.
Back in a sec to talk about divorce. Gotta top up the java, haven't had a drop of booze in 21 years and don't miss it a wiff.
Easy problem. Get a sound proof room and kill your dog. Kill him and whatever it takes for you to get over it. Easiest way is forcefeed him painpills get him drunk, and kill him. Take the painpills and get drunk. If u need a bible just dont, dont use bibles for dogs. Crisis Solved.
Go and tell your dad you had to do it. Go tell him how you did it and share a beer. Go talk to your mom and tell her you are sorry for being such a horrible son, and that you got a new dog. When she asks where the dog is tell her its in your thoughts and prayers, just like her. When she says anything immediately choke her to death. Put her at the table with a candle or something.
Go back to your Dad. Tell him that your mom wants to make up for it and everything will be okay, if all goes well he should see her in her house waiting for him, when he find her lying dead he will go into shock and immediately die of crippling loss. Be sure to follow him and see it through, show up as soon as he regains his strength saying you forgot something or thought you lost something, then act very shocked. When he asks what you are doing exclaim that he is a monster why could he have let this happen to your own mother? One second you were heading home and turned around to make sure you didnt lose your phone and now this. Tell him you always suspected he was crazy, he never could handle his own shit, always drowning it away everynight while your family collapsed. Really take it out on him. Proceed to beat him to death with the bat you took out of your trunk saying, it's alright, we're a perfect family. Then As soon as he is dead take their bodies to the boat, keeping them covered in garbage bags to conceal them from public.
Tie their legs together with cinder blocks and dunk them into the lake, be sure to hold on to your phone in case you get any messages, say something like you are out on the indian spirit journey coping with your pets death. Then try to play. IM BUSY I HAVE A CAREER NOW. NO TIME.
Isaac Morris
What's so bad about bankruptcy when you make money credit doesn't matter.
Luke Hernandez
Can't stop you but good luck dude just don't fuck it up. Quick and painless it's the way.
Isaac Scott
For someone who has finished med school you sure are weak as fuck.
Every coworker i have has a billion issues that are bogging them down. It's a common thing in this profession, and in life too.
Stop being a bitch, and toughen up you pussy ass bitch.
>t. user MD, Internal medicine
Samuel Foster
How can you be soo smart but soo stupid? You have a job right that pays well over minimal wage? You did it you succeeded in life use your money to fuck all those women who never thought twice about you. The real question is how do you cope when you do not feel anymore? When you accomplished your ambitions and there is nothing left.
Eli Hill
You can make it OP. Put your dog down, get a puppy, see a therapist, declare bankruptcy, do something you enjoy for a few days like a hobby, or exercise, or a little adventure. This is your planet too.
Benjamin Young
Dont kill yourself. Call a helpline and discuss your issues with them. They will be more supportive than the assholes here.
Long story short, you got in dept to finish school and now that you did you are terrified of the prospect of repaying said dept. Ok this sucks but its just another thing to deal with. Your parents broke up, its not like they died. You dog lived a longer life than most dogs and you should be there for him till the end. Jesus nobody has a perfect life and quite honestly mr Doctor, yours doesnt even cut the top 1000000 of shitty lives. Stay alive and help those people who have actual serious problems, thats why you became a fucking doctor in the first place right.
Cooper King
i got a better idea. get a gun and blow your brains out in front of your boos so that your brain mass sprays all over his face. traumatize that motherfucker.
short question though. how can they terminate the contract and sue you for talking to a lawyer? you didn't actually break the contract, right? you only talked about it. and if they break the contract, shouldn't they be on the losing end?
Brayden Gomez
>First lets talk about doggo love. pretty sure that's illegal
Isaac Wright
Please don't do it. My best friend from 1st grade killed himself last year and I now understand that suicide is no joke. I can't stop thinking about what life he could've built for himself, instead he let the pain win. Be strong, find God if you will, and do some good. Need to punish yourself? Then stay here, finish strong and build some wealth even if it means working like a dog to pay off debt. Help some people, and don't let the evil thoughts take hold. I mean it about finding God. That's how I pushed through hard years. Local churches may have men's groups that can help. Just go and listen, that's a good start.
Alexander Perry
As a sperge I said there is nothing like change to fuck me up BAD. My parents had a turbulent marriage having got hitched in 1964 over my 16 yr old mother have the bun that was me in the oven. Dad was 18. From about the time I was four my parents started talking about divorce because they were not a well matched pair of friends but simply two very young people who were forced to pair up because of the consequence of their all to typical teenage lust in a time before the pill when pregnancy meant marriage or vast shame. So their unhappy union dragged on and my childhood was often very miserable being an undiagnosed autist and the turbulence of their fighting and despair scarring me in so many ways. When I was 12 they pulled the the plug and my dad was devastated and I was blown away. For a sperge the upheaval was crippling. Thing is it turned out to very much be the RIGHT thing for them both to have done. They both remarried to people they were so much better suited to share their lives with. The civility of the divorce however devastating it was to me turned out to be a roadmap that served to show me how to conduct myself when my own 20 yrs marriage failed and my ex revealed she hadn't really loved me the whole fucking 20 years and in fact had hated my guts but was afraid to be alone and had found some new dude in Texas on the internet and was leaving the great white north for the Lone Star State. Like you right now Docfag I was suicidal. I stared into the abyss ready to take the leap. In sociology this often occurs to men in divorce or other devastating life changes due to a state defined by a famous 19th century French sociologist as "anomie" or anomic suicide. From the french meaning "normlessness". Anyway as I said the roadmap for a civil divorce laid out by my own parents gave me experience in how to keep putting one foot in front of another. Don't worry about your folks, divorce can be really the right path for people and lead to a better life for both
Shut the fuck up user. Get a girlfriend and quit crying like a faggot.
Parker Lee
> Dog lives a far above average lifespan > Grew up in poverty, overcame it, become doctor > Dad wants to leave dysfunctional alcoholic woman and better his life even if it means living in a boat for a while
OP you are a selfish pussy if you can't deal with just this. Most Americans have been through much worse. Your problem is depression and it has nothing to do with your list of rationalizations but you already know this cause you are a doc right, doc? Go see a therapist before you lead your dad, gf, and mom to kill themselves for thinking they all failed you.
Fucking hate people like you man.
Luis Sanchez
You absolute fucking selfish faggot, why don't you just go and beat the shit out of your parents/friends etc 1st. You selfish fucking nigger fuck. Life is hard, it beats the shit out of you every time you even try to catch your breath you weak narcissistic faggot motherfucker. It better say in your suicide letter that your parents did a shit job and raised a fucking selfish faggot nigger who can't face any adversity at all. Make sure to also tell your friends that they were to shitty to help you out also. You cock sucking faggot nigger selfish motherfucker.
Charles Bailey
I hate those medfags doing suicide tho. Life apparently isn't about achievements etc etc. Where do you life? What country?
Chase Baker
Just go and shoot some niggers first. Do not go gentle in that good night.
What about your girlfriend, you can't seriously do this to her. You will traumatize the fuck out of her. I really don't know what I would do in your situation, cause you seem to be in a very bad position. But I sure as hell wouldn't kill myself and let my girlfriend walk in on my dead body. It's just wrong. At least go in a secluded area like the woods, and do the deed there. But should you do it? FUCK NO. Get help from a professional, and hang in there. You shouldn't abandon your loved ones and give them grief. DON'T DO IT. DON'T DO IT. DON'T DO IT. DON'T DO IT.
We live in a credential society Docfag. You have obtained the credentials and even if you have to go bankrupt those credentials are yours and bankruptcy is NOT forever, it really is short term pain. You will rebuild your credit by paying your bills on time and getting the fuck on with your life. Those credentials are in your ass pocket and they are the key to your financial security. So get some fucking HELP with your mental health. Simple formula: Medicine + Talk Therapy or CBT + positive life changes STARTING with accepting the things you can't change = Relief. Physicians are in the business of dispensing aid and all too often fail to reach out for it when they need it themselves. Good place to start is your own doctor Docfag. Tell him you are having STRONG suicidal ideations and have gone as far as to make plans and seek methods. Request referral to psychiatry and don't fear the stigma. Wellness is a road that starts with deliberate steps, you know this from your training. Don't seek a PERMANENT solution to TEMPORARY problems that seem overwhelming. Get help, get it FAST and don't be afraid to tell your own doctor what you have told us. The journey to wellness and relief starts with the small steps I have laid out. Take them, for small steps may be the beginning of a great journey. May you gain the strength to take one day at a time and come to change what matters you can and accept those matters which are beyond your power to change and find the wisdom to know the difference.
Brother...you got it all wrong. Life is not about achievements, social status or even being happy. Life is a shitfest and you re not supposed to enjoy it but just fucking EXPERIENCE IT... And >an heroing is the most selfish of the thing a man can do.
Just fucking use a juxtaposition and you re be already starting to feel a bit more stable.
>i read an article in the newspaper >2 ebola patients in Zimbabwe got attacked by some lunatic >he ran into the ebola clinic and set them on fire >they, with already some terrible flesh rot and open wounds and on fricking Fire, escaped the clinic. >nig army followed them with AK47s ordered to "prevent the ebola plague" with all the resources.
>Mfw when a medfag complains about some numbers (that the system led him believe matter) and some other daily life problems that every human being has to face now and then.
Dude, why don't you just move to a different country? leave all that shit behind start all over. Try Chile, is doing pretty good rn. Suicide is the looser way to go man (especially in north america). Get some proper anxiety meds sounds like your serotonin levels are fucked. Travel, fuck some pussy eat a shit ton of delicious food, if you really wanna really commit suicide, travel, take down a dictator, die a hero lol
Landon Gonzalez
>dude just make money appear out of thin air and travel to another country for a while you're a person that always had things handed to him and would starve if your family died.
