You get three wishes user. What are they and why?

I wish for a second magic lamp. Assuming that I can in fact do that, I continue to use the first wish of every additional genie to wish for another lamp, and then use the second wish of every genie to add an additional year onto my life. Every day, wish for the power to read minds for one day with the third wish of the nigh infinite genies, and use said power to influence more powerful individuals than myself, and eventually accumulate all the power in the world and become the immortal god-king of humanity. Technically I wouldn't be breaking the rules, as the partitioning of my wishes puts a limit on each of them, granting finite power with each individual wish, but accumulating power over many wishes. By wishing for another lamp, i specifically avoid the word wish, so that i am not technically wishing for more wishes. do i win?

genie: "you are your own worst enemy, you know that?"

*snaps fingers*

*you vanish*

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my best friend to be alive again

immortality for me and my newly resurrected bff

$1,000,000 cash

but you can't wish for infinite power oh no but you can't wish to harm living beings oh no

I wish I had beautiful blue eyes or that I had white skin (not literal, like the British people have skin)

I wish my body had no bruises, scars, acne, (that sort of thing)

I wish I had enough money to not worry about things and have extra spending cash

You get both your first and last wish however by asking for infinite cash you have broken the rule for asking for infinite power and so that wish has been render null. Judaism and Islam fade out of practice and is only remembered in history books. You also become a medical anomaly and your mutation is studied and your DNA is sold for top dollar. 40 years after your death, advances in medical science allows for this to be given to others.

i don't want infinite power. just standard genie powers would do fine, thanks. i want to live in a bottle and have a handsome astronaut played by a young Larry Hagman stick his cock into the neck and come all over me.

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is this a reference

I wish for my post to be ignored
That’s all

>You also become a medical anomaly and your mutation is studied and your DNA is sold for top dollar.

i love that Jack Vance story.

> guy becomes immortal by scientific accident
> he lives so long humanity evolves past him
> he's regarded as a shambling ape
> they won't let him commit suicide because they want to study him

Tldr instead you are given the ability to enter your imagination and essentially be god there. While in you imagination powered reality time goes by much faster than in reality. For every year you stay in your imagination, one second passes in reality.

>is this a reference

you have to be eighteen to post on Yea Forums.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Dream_of_Jeannie

10 million dollars
Any power I desired(Kind of like stands)
Give the third wish to charity since my second wish

All wishes granted however your immortality is only biological so you can still die to trauma

I wish I had a high metabolism

I wish I got inheritance from my long lost uncle of over 10 million dollars.

I wish that the relationship between me and the woman I love will work out, and we will die together, in each other's arms.

Perfectly fine, go have fun newly born white person

Dreams don’t come true, sorry to be the one to break it to yoh

Is that from genie in a string bikini?

All granted but genie wants to know the story behind third wish.

1.) I wish for world degradation to cease
2.) I wish for the jews like Putin to give Germany their sheckles
3.) I wish for Yea Forums to not be filled with pr0n

1. I wish that when I die, it will be peacefully in my sleep, at the same time as the woman I've happily spent my whole life with.

2. I wish that $1,000,000 would disappear untraceably from a corrupt billionaire's accounts and be distributed among trustworthy charities

3. I wish that the mother of each person who has read this dies tonight in her sleep, unless they reply to this post

what the hell do they teach you kids in media studies these days?

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You mean how exactly I want us to die? If so, preferably when we're old and gray, I'd say we both die in our sleep, something simple and natural, maybe a heart attack.

>I wish that the relationship between me and the woman I love will work out, and we will die together, in each other's arms.

in the Lyonesse books, Dhrun and Glyneth asked Rodion, King of the Fairies, if they could be together for the rest of their lives.

he said he could kill them both now and bury them under the caravan they were living in.

Fag

>I wish that when I die, it will be peacefully in my sleep,

... and not screaming in terror, like your passengers

Honestly I'd be fine with it as long as we died together in each other's arms.

you wish to be a fag? simple! your wish is granted!

... wait. you already are. even simpler!

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ask her if she really wants to die in thirty seconds' time.

my sides

This threads going to be buried under porn anyway but I wouldn't feel right unless I replied

1: the ability to turn off my sex drive so i can stop masturbating and wasting away so much of my life
2: our universe to become the one from warhammer 40k
3: to be a space marine

1. I wish that back in 2010 I decided to buy 100 bitcoins

2. I wish that on July 16th, 2015 that at around 11:30 am I leave my front door open for 45 minutes

3. I wish that everyone in this thread uses at least 1 well articulated and specific wish that in some way will benefit me

I know for a fact she's okay with that. As am I.

I wish my dick gets thicker

I wish my girlfriend got better at reverse cowgirl

I wish this user wasn't a fag

>I wish that on July 16th, 2015 that at around 11:30 am I leave my front door open for 45 minutes
the only reason you wrote this is so someone would ask
so, why?

1) Immortality
2) Rule the world
3) All women become sexually excited in my presence.

Just thicker?

I wish to be immune to bodily harm (disease, injury, etc)

I wish to be immune to aging/death

I wish to know everything (every question that can be asked that has a logical answer I already know the answer to)

I can touch her cervix in missionary so yah, girth is all

So I could see my hot ass neighbor’s tits pop out

I wish that i could wish for anything i want so that the OP rules don't mean anything

1) Denied. No infinite power.
2) Denied. No infinite power.
3) Granted, you lecherous scumbag.

!)Biological immortality
2)You become prime minister of the future one earth government for a while
3) Granted however they aren't sexual exited by you just your presence so they just get horny and fuck their SO later that day. Single women go home and masturbate.

Send all jews and blacks to live another planet.

1 wish that the second wish comes after the third
2 wish to be free
3 wish to be a genie

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1) Afterlife Exists
2) Everyone gets in after death and it's Heaven for everyone
3) Kill me

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Immortality isn’t infinite power retard. OP meant no asking for omnipotence

Fine but planet is just as hospitable as earth and they declare independence from earth.

All granted however evil people have to wait and spend time redeeming themselves to gain access to heaven

After having been sworn in, later the same day all Future Earth World Government senate members make a bet that if a hundred-sided die lands on 1 that they will force him to step down. It lands on a 1. He goes down in history as the shortest-ruling Prime Minister of Earth. This prompts future top 10 list youtube channels and sketchy news sites to churn out garbage featuring him.

That works for me.

true story

Genie isn't dick that acts like that piece of shit monkey paw.

Actually he said no asking for infinite power not no asking for omnipotence fag can you even read

What is omnipotence? I suddenly forgot what that word means

It's all in the wording. If the rule was "No wishing for infinite orange sticks" and i wished for carrots, i'd be circumventing the rule. Same case applies here.

It means your dick gets hard whenever you please - Amongst other things...