Humble brag thread. What makes you proud that would make everyone else cringe if you bragged about it

I figured you were just trolling the post in general, not implying anything about what I said. I see what you mean now.

Congratulations.

JEsus christ this is cringy

not ugly

nice dubs

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Samefag

Just kill yourself now OP, no one cares about an a single mom of 2 you banged and made squirt with your fingers (not your dick).

Youre literally bragging about banging the easiest demographic of women there is. Single moms.

Evaluate life/take on actual challenges as a man, and then humble brag about those

Faggot

have sex

fucking idiot. you know you can see unique posters in the bottom corner right?

32 year old mother of 2, recently divorced. Her idea of a date was to get Chic-fil-a because she doesn't have one in her state and then "see what happens" after. We never made it out of the apartment.

I’ll just post a few of the women I’ve fucked and the slutty shit they’ve said to me over the years

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don't you mean trips?

When women squirt like that it isnt a real orgasm. Having a woman scream and cry and fall over sniffling while snot runs down their mouth and chin and she loses the ability to speak... that's an orgasm.

Get gud.

Half of the thread is you, neckbeard. Patting yourself on the back for fucking a single mom you met on Tinder.

The second chick I fucked was going well. I ignored cumming a few times and instead a wave of energy passed through. She eventually rolled off after a couple orgasims and when I tried to hop on top she pushed me off saying I can't I'm on another plane of existence right now.
So that's a neat way to keep blueballs.
Told a friend later on looking for some help or advice but I only got a highfive.

If the thread sucks, you're only bumping it for me by trying to be edgy. I have been trying to come up with different types of threads because I get bored of the same things over and over. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't, but you're only helping this thing survive.

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Point remains you are bragging about fucking a single mom, lol. Kill yourself

I was going to post but your fake text message made me cringe too hard. Even if it was real you come across as pathetic.

That’s a seizure

Bad

And miss out on all the free fanny. No thanks.

Yeah In a way

Decent enough oc probably bumped his yellow porn thread off the page.

it's nice to know i've made my dog cum so many times

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2

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jusst fucking stop. We all know about the things that let you fake text messages. You aren't fooling anybody.

>a single mother

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Faaaaaaaaat.

Seems pretty vanilla, you sure this isn't a cringe thread you're wanting? Here's a pic of my cousin's pussy to try and salvage your thread, faggot

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my sides, this thread. OP is peak Yea Forums cringe

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She is hot. Fuck yeah.

She was super squirmy and did make a lot of noises, but her ex husband had been her first and only sex so she is actually pretty inexperienced in variety and appreciated that I was enjoying what she apparently used to be embarrassed of.

That's honestly the best feeling ever. I had to tell her as I was leaving to not be sorry for barely getting me off once and that I considered her getting off so much a huge compliment to my ego. She still insisted that she tries to make up for it next time.

Please be a real person Please be a real person Please be a real person Please be a real person Please be a real person Please be a real person

I see captain obvious has arrived just in time for the summer, bet you carpooled with OP

3

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I wrote a semifamous greentext

those are 2s bro trips are 3s

What's wrong with single mom pussy? They are usually always down to fuck and are usually good women who have been mistreated by mysoginistic assholes like you.

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The point of the thread IS the cringe humble brag. No worries, man. To each their own.

Honestly, there aren't many ways to prove it's real, but I went back to try to find messages that would convince you regardless. They're super corny messages and she uses words like "blowies" and a lot of Minnesota slang shit. I can see why you don't believe them.

I am tired of the yellow threads, but also tired of most of the threads they're trying to spam off the board. It's a lose lose.

You are obviously a virgin.

lmao

im out

goddamn this generation sucks

Your standards suck.

Thanks for the help, man. Face?

Um, welcome to Yea Forums, faggot

Ya of course she’s real I got tons of this shit lol

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No argument huh?

Just because my shit tier humble brag is sexual doesn't mean that's the point of the thread. What's the greentext? Post it, man.

I'm almost 40 you teenage dickwad.

On the contrary, if shitposting and spam trigger you then you need to find another site, Yea Forums has been your third "point" for as long as I can remember. The rest of it is just you crying like a bitch

And then?

I'm fifty and anyone below 45 is an ignorant and coddled cunt

Share some moar good sir

Gatekeeping to look edgy in a thread you don't even like? What's your point?

Thanks! I have been on and off for about a decade. It's only kinda good to be back.

Ungodly beatuful, man.

docs.google.com/document/d/14tz0gVSkXHUbD2ljci0xHzowGXVo_7OWZ4Y-veNxYu0/edit?usp=sharing

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The best thing about these threads is getting high whilst arguing, getting off point, then saying fuck it and smoke another number

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Sure you are junior.

Actually I am a Junior, but I come from a generation that has pride in heritage

I'm genuinely not getting angry at whatever you post. I guess if you want to bait and attempt to ruin a thread you deem not worthy, that's up to you. No biggie.

50? I'm freshly 27. You'd be a great contributer if you wanted to be, I believe. Anything you have done that you're proud of?

I am the original "I can tell this is shopped" guy. I've never told anyone before. True story.

Weak and predictable

By heritage you mean the rebel flag who's heritage is slavery? Unchecked racism and ignorance? Homophobic tendencies?

I am honored to have made an original thread someone enjoys to get baked to. No matter how shitty it is, it means someone got a laugh out of it.

Don’t forget losing wars!

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>ITT
>bunch of immature normie fucks flexing about one of the main evolutionary mechanism that billions of other people already did long before them throughout history like it’s some kind of major accomplishment
>have nothing else to mention because they’ve been conditioned by the MSM to waste time, energy and money on trying to compete for a bunch of humain beings with XX chromosomes while the real world problems happens before their eyes
>people nowadays have nothing else to do other than constantly partaking in dick measuring contests over the most stupidest shit to make up for their lack of accomplishment and self development
Good job goys, y’all acting exactly according to the script and are controbuting to why society is ass backwards and that things will never move forward
>inb4 DURR UR AN VIRGIN CUCK SOYBOI HARHARHARHAR
i’ve had sex before and it’s highly overrated and not worth all that it implies for it to happen so y’all can continue on acting like a bunch of cavemen

Right. The Confederacy lost to a guy who lost to a single bullet. Fucking weaklings. Fuck southerner scum.

I never played Fallout. I was a Borderlands and Dead Space kind of guy. And that is a massive fucking greentext. How long did it take to write that?!?

You have obviously never had sex. Not with a woman at least. Wait are you the incel who was bragging about fucking his dog the other day?

Thanks for proving how right i am you stupid fucking retard

3 Weeks, the sequel is taking way longer but that's because I'm a procrastinator

Lmao incel, have sex

As bad as this thread may be, that was hard to read. Your grammar is awful and the way you discuss your points is just bad. I don't care if you had sex or not, but I have also said that it's a thread to brag about any of your accomplishments even if and especially if it's cringy. Even if it ends up being mostly "I had sex" posts, sex itself is always an interesting topic for men AND women. Chill out, dude. Relax. Want to either fix your argument or maybe contribute to the thread with something else?

Yeah sure, everyone in this thread is fucking retarded

Are you in the writing field in real life? I am finishing up school to be a highschool English teacher and it can be brutal coming up with your own material. I have pulled off a few successful greentexts that had interest in the thread itself, but never to your magnitude.

You are seething jealousy

OP legitimately has autismo.

No, im just a 19 year old factory worker.

I was referring to you and your autistic bragging you cretin

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Nah, just ignoring the negative and trying to be constructive with everyone. I have tried the usual Yea Forums way of calling everyone a faggot, but I found out doing it this way may get more comments like yours. The thread stays active longer and I learn which types of threads I attempt have potential and which don't.

Nice. Well, from what I read, you could probably do well writinf a book or something outside of greentext stories. Good shit!

Sure faggot, go take another swig off your glass of cum on the rocks

sure why not, let’s play pretend so you can sleep tonight

Will do. Thanks!

Post pic or falsified and homosexual

A picture of what, exactly?

You taking a swig off your glass of cum on the rocks you fucking gay homo queer faggot

Sure thing. Give me a minute. I'll totally actually do it.

It’s been more than a min you fucking male fart sniffer

I’m proud I fucked a hot 18 year old while be 27 and being married. Obviously I can’t brag about it because my friends would judge me and my wife would leave me.

How did you two get to that point?

Another reason i couldn’t brag about it is we worked at the same place, that’s how we met. We don’t work together anymore. But she was always a little flirty with me, and I back to her, but I never made any move on her. Until one day we had a text convo

>Me “how are you doing?”
>Her “I’m bored”
>Me “what would you rather be doing?”
>Her “you”

And that’s how it started

I published two novels which made me relatively famous in my homeland.
I've won quite a few awards for both.
And yet in my free time I'm here.

I remember being 12 was I this much of an asshole?

Makes sense. I have ended up sleeping with at least one coworker at every job I had, but I was never married. Is it more of a turn on that you are cheating, or do you feel guilty?

I would kill to write a book. What is your writing peocess?

I'm always fascinated by troll-posters bumping threads they claim to hate with this kind of shit.

>sees a post about misogyny
>im out
>snowflake

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Agreed. The dude literally kept my thread alive. I gave up on it but it showed up at the first page again.

Mother of two so she's obviously older than 20. And all that time you're the best dick? Wonder how many women told you that. Can't be that they're lying or anything.. Yknow women always tell the truth when it comes to fucking

for what it's worth I thought she was decent haters gonna hate but pussy's pussy and it feels good to have others validate you

I outline everything before I'm writing the first word.
I create a storyboard that outlines everything that will happen in each individual chapter until I have the entire story scetched out from the beginning to the end.

Many people just start to write and go with the flow until they get lost, a storyboard is a huge help, you always know what exactly you're working towards.

Of course, if a really cool idea hits me in between, a nice twist or something similar it's still open for changes, but you have to be careful with that and check carefully whether or not these changes truly fit into what you already wrote.

The rest is discipline. When I'm working on a book I treat that as if it was my full time job meaning I'll work on it at least 6 hours a day.

I forgot what religion she belongs to, but it's one of those that doesn't allow sex outside of the religion or before being married. She only stopped following that concept after her husband was such a piece of shit and made her question it all. I believe she told me that I was her 8th sexual partner since the divorce and the youngest. If she is lying, it isn't a big deal. I got to have sex and she pumped up my ego/pride. Win-win really.

That's what I am saying. She wasn't the hottest woman I have been with, but we did have a pretty amazing time and it's always good to hear that you were good in the sack.

That's actually really good advice. I love to write and spent a year as a Creative Writing major, but hated being forced to limit myself or write in certain peramiters. Knowing the characters before writing the story must help push it along a lot quicker. Discipline is my hardest competition. My imagination runs wild, but putting it into words can almost be just as physically exhausting as it can be mentally.

Haha no he means he has heritage in replacing all of the whites in the US with shity, lazy, beaners and niggers. Who only make it by getting hand outs, but the boomer doesn't care all he sees is cheap labor. Day of the pillow can't come soon enough. Also fuck off faggot.

Discipline works way better with a story board as a guideline, it makes writing become a craft where it's about how good you can put into words what you already created instead of creating it on the go.

Knowing exactly how the story will unfold, who will do what out of what motivation will also help making your world and characters seem alive. If you know a characters motivation and goals from the first to the last page you'll always have him act accordingly even before their goals are apparent to other characters and most importantly the reader.

This, I think, is the clue of creating a moment where the reader realizes that hints about a reveal or a twist have been all throughout the book, and it hasn't been a deus ex machina pulled on them.

You'll always see the difference between a planned novel and a a string of ideas the author put together on the go.

Ragdoll would be a great example in case you ever read that. You can clearly see that the author had cool ideas but never planned how to link them together and solve the story until he reached the end and just squeezed something in.

So edgy.

Some of the best stories are ruined with ex machina. I woukd hate to create a badass series like LOTR or The Dark Tower and have it fucked over by an overpowered entity that could have rendered the plot pointless.

I will check out Ragdoll for sure. I usually have enough money left over to buy a book or two every month.

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That dude gave up on trashing the thread a while back, I think. He is the embodiment of insecurity.