Be me

>be me
>recruit at marine corps boot camp
>just finished basic warrior training, which means the entire platoon has just finished eating MREs and camping out in 'the field' for 2 days.
>everyone else has been shitting normally, but i havent shit in 3-4 days
>the platoon is back at the squadbay and we're sitting on the floor, practicing for a multiple choice test
>out of nowhere feel the urge to shit
>i yell, "Good morning sir! Recruit [me] requeusts permission to speak to, Drill Instructor Sgt. [insert name], sir!"
>DI: "Does it have anything to do with this test?"
>"No sir!"
>DI: "Then I don't fucking care, sit your ass down recruit"

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Imagine not wanting to shit your self to endure and learn warrior mentality, you need to retake basic and the crucible again.
Also new core fag about to goto basic, why TV are you taking multiple choice tests

>"aye sir"
>a couple of minutes later and i feel like my asshole is going to explode
>"Good morning sir! Recrui-"
>DI: "No one cares [me]!"
>about 10 minutes later and i cant take it anymore, my intestines are turning
>"Good morning sir! Recruit [me] reque-"
>DI: "SHUT THE FUCK UP [me]"
>I run into the bathroom, sit down in a stall, and proceed to take a shit without permission
>the stalls have no doors and the walls are just big enough to have toilet paper holders installed onto them
>i begin to hear boots approach me as im taking a shit
>my drill instructor comes in and stares at me while i shit
>DI: "You must have lost your goddamn mind, huh recruit? I GUESS WE MAKE HEADCALLS WITHOUT PERMISSION HUH?"
>"No sir!"
>DI: "THREE HUNDRED!"
>this man begins to count down from 300 to 0 so fast that you can barely hear what number he is on
>i start speedwiping my ass, forgetting to flush every couple of wipes to not clog the toilet
>toilet clogs
>i continue to speedwipe after he counts to 0
>DI: "GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE HEAD!"
>"sir, this recruit's shit is runny sir!"
>begin to hear everyone in my platoon crack up from outside of the bathroom

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>Drill Instructor goes out of the head
>DI: "Don't worry, we're ALL going to pay for recruit [me]!"
>"fuck"
>he walks back in
>i just finish wiping my ass and stand up, revealing a clogged toilet
>he looks at me, astonished, then goes to fill up a 55 gallon drum with water and grabs a bottle of laundry soap
>he gets 3 recruits to lug the drum to the middle of the squadbay
>spill puddles everywhere
>pours the entire fucking bottle of Gain into the drum
>kicks the bitch over and tells us to clean it up

>after about half an hour we finally get all the water out with squeegees and the deck is sparkling clean
>DI: "EVERYBODY STRIP"
>everyone takes their camo shirts off
>most people are wet from falling over on the slippery ass floor or from the initial sparta kick on the drum
>we get rushed to a sandbox where we spend x amount of time rolling around in sand, doing push ups, and other retarded shit
>run back to the squadbay
>DI: "Why is there so much fucking sand on the deck? We just cleaned it!"
>everyone looks at each other, confused
>our drill instructor fills up another 55 gallon drum with water and has it hauled into the middle of the squadbay, with a bottle of Gain in his hand
>everyone hears our senior drill instructor walk out
>scared shitless until he yells "Stoooooooop"
>"Stop, aye sir, good morning gentlemen!"
>Senior DI: "Big brooms, clean up all this sand"
>we are spared from spending the next hour slipping and sliding on the floor trying to get it clean and getting all the soap water out
>first drill instructor keeps the drum there in the middle of the squadbay and we spend the rest of the day in fear, hoping he doesnt kick it over again
>mfw everyone forgets the whole reason this happened was because i couldnt hold in a shit

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Fuck that nigger shit. Those drill S's can suck my dick. Bro, dont give into their African ways. They're a bunch of niggers. If you're skin is white than fuck those ancestors of cannibal spear checkers. You're genetically superior I promise that.

Chuckers* forgive me

If you don't think genetics play a role on who a person is you're a brain washed fool ready to be sacraficed for nothing.

>"fool"
>"sacraficed"
heh

Yeah you think it's funny now... Wait til 10 years after basic when you lose your mind and become homeless. Fuck those Niggers and spicks, there's a special place in hell for them. "Ooorah"

Honestly, boot camp sounds like a lot of fun. Everyone is telling me I shouldnt enlist, even the veterans in my family. It really doesnt seem like its as bad as people make it out to be tho. The only thing I'm personally worried about is I will finish 4 years and feel like it was a big waste of time.

boot camp is not bad enough to be a reason to not enlist. its fun sometimes

Hey dumb ass. It's a life of slavery. This is coming from an x marine. Dont do it. If you want to play the hero go for it. In reality, use your mind, find your place, and do what's best for your family.
.

>its a life of slavery
Its only 4 years and what I do now is mop floors clean toilets for minimum wage.

Wow. I think the marines are meant for you. You could literally master anything in four years but you'd rather put your effort into scrubbing a toilet. More power to you, you're totally not conforming to an artificial entity in exchange for false security and self worth.

>doesnt actually explain himself
you were probably just shit at your job and hated for it

Wake up bro. You joined a business that uses its employees to do the unpleasant and dangerous tasks while receivin .001% of the loot. I'm sorry you had to find out the hard way.

>could literally master anything
I am a master of mopping now. I can clean the floor in half the time the other maintenance staff can. Anyway the false sense of pride is what I want. Being a marine feels like it would still be a step up from a fucking janitor. And I'm tired of my current life. I want to be able to move out of may parents' house and feel like I am going somewhere. Right now I just feel like a waste of human life.

I refuse to believe any white man willing to go kill people that are just defending their homeland, is not a cuck that loves watching their wife get gangraped by aids ridden niggers. Excuse me I meant to say genetics aren't even real it's just economic factors and systemic racism you fucking white male.

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I'm not gonna tell you what to do. That's your reality. Im just saying the Marines just want you to do what you're told. And that makes you a in all reality, a slave. By all means. Be the best slave you can be. Doesn't effect me in anyway. I seen past that bullshit on day one.

Dont underestimate those bulldogs. They might look dumb with their fucked up faces, but there is a brain in there. My neighbor's bulldog would set bait for birds and hide in some bushes, then try to catch the birds when they took the bait.

>I seen past that bullshit on day one
LMAO, but not before you joined? I am fully aware that being enlisted means you are on the bottom of the totem pole.

Well excuuuuuuuuuse me princesssss

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marines dont get sent to plunder villages, and even if they did, there's nothing there to loot. i'd rather be paid as an E1 every 2 weeks than to be given a loaf of bread and a collection of rocks everytime there's a raid on a village of insurgents
it doesnt even sound like youve done any actual time in the marines, you sound dumb as fuck

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Go kill some villagers. They're pissed because you're bullies.

any employer wants you to do what youre told

Misinterpreted what I said. Ofcourse you don't, you guys are just there. Nothing nefarious. 9/11 and all that. Nothing to do with the worlds most precious resource.

Dont twist what I'm saying. Being told to do what's obviously expected is ok e thing. Mowing down a village of people because you're pissed is another.

even if all middle eastern wars were for the sole purpose of stealing oil, dividing all revenue from oil among all the service members in the military would probably end up in a smaller paycheck...

Villagers arent the ones joining the taliban. You know bin laden was a billionaire, right? The taliban is made up of traditional clans they have a warrior heritage like knights. They arent just a bunch of hick farmers who got it in their head they were going to destroy the US. What would farmers gain from fighting?

the second one is an illegal order, which you are encouraged from day one of training to refuse. UCMJ is still a thing dude. youre not a prior servicemember, youre a dumbass conspiracy theorist that goes on the internet pretending to be a marine

The real farmers are farming for survival, the Taliban are fighters for their country like in the crusades, they're Arab, were foreign. If we want their territory we have to exterminate them like we did the Indians. Problem is we dont want to start a war with China or Russia, we got to war for the sake of we are powerful and they cant stop us from stealing their oil. Fueling our machine, and making us the most powerful nation on earth. Argue all you want, idgaf

Fuck you roach.

> Be OP gets recruited into FBI
> has to browse this shit everyday and reply to themselves

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Kek great story, thank you for posting.

>be OP
>live in country with military industrial complex
>2019, all the info you could ask for
>literal past presidents actually WARNING the country of its military complex.
>wars turn into "conflicts"
>more recently sees pics of American military guarded poppy fields
>despite the fact USA has opioid problems that skyrockets as soon as taliban has been dismantled
>all the info you could ask for
>2019
>OP : "sir yes sir! Toilet has been licked clean, DS, sir!"
>I'm proud to fight for my country!

Sorry for the shit green text but goddamm. Nobody is fighting for our country anymore, shit nobody looks into shit like gulf of Tonkin or operation northwoods?

>calls marine boot camp “basic”
Fuck out of here you’re either a POG or not in the marines

What if I dont care? Maybe I like the idea of being a mercenary and I just want to move out of my parent's house at any cost?

have some Fucking intestinal fortitude.

Spoken like a true simp minded bitch made child.
I get it, why be successful in life. Dig through those 4 years, in hopes that they don't send you out somewhere to get blowed the fuck up, or some traumatic shit happens and now you will never enjoy life. Like I said, 2019~all the info in the world in your pocket and you think this is an easy way out of your parent's house?

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Yeah. I'm a fucking loser and I dont want to stay a loser forever. I dont want to be a 30 y/o man who lives with his parents.
>waah but muh mental health
>waah muh frens died
>waah I only have 1 testacle now
Or like 90% of complaints
>waah they made me clean duh toilet
I'll take that trade any day.

One of these other morons claimed to be an "X Marine" . SMFH. Thread is full of BSers

LOL, OK. I can't convince a fucking retard.
Jus gonna say, whether you care or not, and this is my own personal experience /opinion but the only dudes I know that came back from military not all fucked in the head were the ones that joined and exit b4 9/11. The 7 guys I know that joined army/marines (except the couple I known from the airforce) came home all kinds of fucked up, whether they lost someone, came REALLY close to dieing themselves or finding out for themselves how it really works. 2 tried to anhero, which I chalk up to a call for help since if you were in the army you should know how to end a fucking life.
I hear if you are good enough, getting into some kind of special ops is the way to go.


>but in all reality, what the fuck do I know

Real quality thread here guys. Not gonna lie. Especially a good break from all the pornfaggotry.

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Alright enuff, leave this young-fag alone. I was in his position at 17 right before 2001. Military was all I thought I could do. Then especially after 911 I was down to go. wouldn't you know it, my gf got knocked up and well, with her keeping it I changed my mind fast.
Am I glad I changed my mind? HELL Yeah! 2 kids later, good life and somewhat successful doin what I do.

If I didn't knock her up though, being a 17 yo stoopid kid with nothing to lose and a strong hatred for the wrong reasons, I was 100 percent down for it all. At least back then nobody knew any better and 911 being fresh, there was a reason no matter how much of it bull or true.

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>17~2001

>Yea Forums~2019

>proly still 17 lel why the fucc are u here Mr. Successful?

Boot camp had moments where it was fun and funny, but plenty of others where it sucked major dick. The reward of earning the title of Marine and the pride you feel of accomplishing what you set out on is indescribable. The job is like any other job, some days suck and some days kick ass, but you get some decent benefits and an education. If you're smart, you can get a brand new car and have it paid off when you finish your first enlistment. Haters gonna hate, but bitches love that uniform and will slut themselves up for you. What other job are you ever going to have where you get to hang out with your friends all day and play with guns?

did anyone try raping you?

Based

bump, lol

Boot camp is fun, as long as you have the right mindset. It can fuck with you a little bit, but shit, I made it through it, and I didn't even know how to salute when I joined.

People and even veterans are telling you not to enlist because the potential risk for dying for Israel isn't worth it just so you can have fun greentext bootcamp stories.

Thats why its not divided up, and only goes to a couple people who own you. Really tells you what your life and limbs are worth in scale.

bruh, im still paid
if you lose an arm or a leg in service, you are paid what that arm and leg are worth via pensions and medical care. you're retarded

>it can fuck with you a little bit
>i didnt even know how to salute
you were the shithead that got everyone fucked up werent you?

They are telling me to look into careers in the military that will translate into civilian work after, but I dont think they teach anything that will be useful in 10 years. I already have a degree in business administration, what a joke.

>eyeroll

>biz degree
Why the fuck would you even go to military then? You can't leverage it in the military for more pay. Should do better going now into a job then later or just can't find a job?