My whole life ive felt like I was fuck ugly despite what others told me...

My whole life ive felt like I was fuck ugly despite what others told me. Always believed they were either trying not to hurt my feelings or just obligated to bc they knew me well (family or close friends etc)
Never thought I was attractive, personality-wise or physically. Went all the way up to the end of my first year of college without having any romantic contact with anyone. Towards the end of my first year, a family friend tells me he’s always liked me and would be interested in pursuing something more if I’m okay with it.
I’m blown away. Just the thought that somebody has at some point wanted me made me go nuts. He’s in the military and is stationed five or so hours away by car. Not exactly traditionally handsome, he’s no model, but he’s cute and he’s kind. Been friends with my family for a long time.
He says he’s thought I was pretty since he first met me.
For the next month we try it out- he shows up to my house. We sit close to each other and he tries to cuddle. My body isn’t fucking having it. Every time he touches me my heartbeat goes through the roof and not in a good way- I’m petrified every time he gets close. It’s hard to breathe. My body is sending off potent fear and discomfort responses.
I keep trying, don’t want to give up so soon and also don’t want to let him or myself down. I can’t fucking do it.
I’m a very touch-comfortable person. When I hang out with my friends, we usually end up sitting in each other’s laps or sprawled out on a bed that’s too small to really hold two people. We don’t care, and it’s comfortable to me bc I know there’s no intent behind it.
But with him it’s different- it’s like every movement means something and it fucking terrified me.
So after so long of thinking I was undesirable and unlovable, I finally found someone who wants to give it a shot, and I’m so fucking anxious and nervous that I called it off. I’m scared it’ll be like this every time I try to get close to someone physically in a romantic sense.
Fuck me.

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You are ugly and undesirable indeed.
That someone wants to give you a hot because you’re what’s left and probably convenient (financially, strategically, emotionally, etc...)

She will cheat.

That’s all

Eh, had something similar. Everytime I would get intimate my anxiety would skyrocket and I couldn't keep it hard. Except when I drank...so maybe that's a solution smash with a bit of alcohol to grease the wheels. Unfortunately for me, I get the ol' whiskey dick so his didn't work. Fast forward and I started sleeping with someone I really wasn't that interested in and built my confidence up.

Tl;dr try alcohol or practice with someone you aren that interested in.

Not gonna read all that.

Post a pic of yourself and I'll let you know if you're ugly or not

Man I’m confused did you even read this? I’m the she
Unless you’re talking about me and using the she pronoun while talking to me, I’m confused

It’s 2000 characters. Like a minute of reading if you’re not a fucking troglodyte.

If you're ugly, which you probably are, you aren't worth a straight minute of my time. Post a pic or gtfo LARPfag

I’m a pussy bitch, can’t stomach alcohol and hate the taste besides. Weed might work if I wasn’t dirt poor.

Look you can just say that you’re not good at reading, you don’t have to pretend like 2000 characters is a novel.
It’s midnight here and I’m not dragging my lazy ass out of bed. Here’s a picture. No time stamp.

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You are in /b, there are some.

Thinking you inherently deserve other people's valuable time makes you seem pretty ugly on the inside. Which honestly sucks because it also looks like you're pretty ugly on the outside as well.

Hope knowing this information about yourself helps you in some way. Bye.

This guy gets it.

you're pretty, probably weird because the lack of social interaction, like most of us "ugly people".

You're not ugly, you just need to make peace with yourself and that's it, you will know your limits/capabilities

>valuable time
>on Yea Forums

Hard pass. Probably should drop the whinny attitude.

Thats the thing, I’m worried that I’ve reached my limit and I’ll never actually be able to hold onto a relationship. Nobody wants to be involved with someone who’s so jumpy and anxious that she’d probably have an anxiety attack if they went in for a kiss.

Your instincts are correct. You are most definitely ugly. Doesn't matter anyways. You know the rules. Tits or gtfo.

This guy is brilliant. Talks shit towards the end it sounds like he is saying something nice but NAH 10/10 LOL

Do I just have a different definition of whining? Bc I don’t think I was being whiny.
This is something important to me. I’m not blaming anyone or asking for something unreasonable. We might just have different definitions of “whiny”.
And I understand the hard pass. No hate.

It’s past midnight and I’m comfy in a pile of blankets on my bed. I’m not gonna go take an awkward timestamped picture of my tits.
Regardless thank you for the bump.

>Blatantly ignoring the rules
all fields

jesus christ burn it.

Yeah because phones don't have flash or anything. Rules are rules.

doubt, weed is not a social lubricator. you could try xanax but i always hated girls on it because it turns them into a monotone zombie and fucked with their sex drive but they were more willing hang out so idk

Fucker have you ever tried both holding a piece of paper, holding a phone with a steady hand at arms length and taking a non blurry picture of your torso with the time stamp being legible? I’m just depression-venting on Yea Forums to get shat on for being ugly. If you want tits go to the next thread, they’re there. Mine are the only good thing about me and I’m not here to feel good.

I would suggest you see a therapist but I assume you are in America and thus can't afford it.

Other than that here's my suggestion:

Tell the guy that you are interested but are having this issue. Tell him you need to take it ultra slow.

Then start doing little stuff, like brush his hand or hold pinkies. Whatever you think you can get away with without going into full on panic mode. The point is to start small.

That's all I got, take it or leave it I guess.

Im on ADHD meds, and when I’m off them I’m way more socially open, but I’m also way more prone to saying fucking stupid shit and embarrassing myself. So it’s a double edged sword.

I don't doubt they're "the only good thing about you" although just because you're fat doesn't mean you automatically have nice tits. Always hated how fat girls tried to play that card.

I am seeing a therapist and it is fucking expensive. I’ll tell him about this next time I see him.
Maybe I’ll try that next time he’s in town. It probably won’t work, but I’ll try it. Thanks.

I'll give you at. But you need to light up or you wanna die alone? Nobody wants to be around people who look nervous or anxiety problems the list goes on. Because it negatively impacts those around you. You mentioned that he is in the military? Also drives 4+ hours to see you? I mean what did you expected. The guy was moving fast because of time. I guess you may or may not wanted a normal relationship? Not really sure what your expectations were in the first place knowing the "guy's " limitations.

Agreed but I’m not fat, I’ll say that at least. I don’t have washboard abs but I’m very much in the green on the BMI scale. And I’m still young so I don’t have saggy tits or anything yet. They’re just small/medium and shaped nice, as far as I can tell. 34 or 36B I think.

Not quite true at least for me per se. I don't know the type but is the mind hype. I become sociable when I take weed. Im too uptight and weed chills me out.

Tits or GTFO
Nobody gives a fuck about your problems
Tits or GTFO ugly bitch

Have you tried alcohol?
Not even kidding

You don't look good but you don't look bad either, just okay, you can work with this. You could be doing a lot more here.
Use makeup, straighten out the crazy goldilocks hair, get contacts or lasik, improve your teeth if that's an issue via whitening/orthodontics, work out, and if you're willing to go there some lip fillers, jawline reshaping and maybe a nose job could help you get to a more comfortable 7-8/10 ish territory

TBH from looking at your photo looking hot isn't a priority.

And seriously try alcohol

I think I’m just disappointed in myself really. For not being able to control myself and not feel like I’m about to panic whenever he’s near me. I really do care about him but my body hasn’t gotten the message.
And his family lives in the same town as me. He visits me when he visits them on breaks and long weekends.
Just frustrated that I finally got what I thought I wanted- somebody that liked me for me- but I can’t handle it for some reason. Disheartening is all.

>34 or 36b I think
Because girls don't know their own bra size. Quit larping OP. Show dick already.

It's not your fault, it's your brain being a lump of fuck. My brain is a lump of fuck too. It happens.

I was with a chick like this once. She was cool once I took control tho. Deep dicked her for hours. All you need is some exposure.

>mfw OP is a man jacking off to responses from oblivious white knights trying to get laid.

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Mhm. TBH not uncommon issue at all, most girls use alcohol for this. You can get some really, really effective anti-panic drugs from your doctor if it's really fucking up your life. Once you've done it while drunk it's easier to do when sober because you know it's no big deal

Buddy pal since you’re not a girl how the fuck do you know
Did you know that bras are expensive as fuck and I wear the ones that are too small for me until they actually fall apart, or the clasps get fucking mangled in the dryer? I’m between 34 and 36B Rn. They both fit but 36 fits better. I don’t really give a fuck about tit sizes, I can’t eyeball a pair of breasts and guess what size they are. I said 34 and 36 bc it’s the sizes on the tags of the bras in my dresser drawer.
You must want pictures of them real bad.

Exposure therapy. That's what it's called.

Man I wish
I really fucking wish
Bc then I could just get a desperate girl who knows she’s ugly to be my gf and I wouldn’t have to deal with this shit
Or just pay for sex if I wasn’t so terrified of it
But nice gif. One of my favorites.

I remember when these threads would only have a few idiots taking the bait and the rest of us would bring it to post limit mocking them. Now they are full of white knight faggots. I miss the real Yea Forums. This ugly, emotionally unstable slampig would have been broken by now.

Show yo titties bitch

You’re probably right. In my own experience once I get it over with it’s not so bad. It was like that when I learned how to drive, when I smoked weed for the first time, when I did class presentations and shit. Anxiety fucking sucks.
But in this case it’s more of me being worried that I’ll have an anxiety attack in the middle of whatever we’re doing and fuck everything up majorly.
Alcohol might work if I can get over the fucking taste of it.

I see what you mean. You can't expect others to bring you happiness. You must achieve happiness first yourself otherwise you are running into a slippery slope.

You could always fucking kill yourself too. That's an option.

Just a troll

What a sad life you must live user
Stop crying over the old Yea Forums. It never really existed anywhere but in your own head.

I mean you’re not wrong
I’ve been thinking about it more and more and it worries me. God idfk what to do anymore honestly

Don't you have homework to do or something?

Okay, yeah, I really think you should go to a doctor and tell them about the panic attacks and they'll give you some medication that virtually guarantees one will not happen during those special moments. You can also get them from a drug dealer (you smoke pot so maybe you know one), just ask for xanax or valium, I think it'll help you tremendously. Sorry that you're going through this OP

> 1. Post tits
> 2. Stream an hero
> 3. ????
> 4. Profit

haha yeah op is a kid and kids are the only ones that do homework haha he got her guys he got her really good he called her a kid and kids are stupid

Ah thank you for the genuine reply. And I will talk to my therapist about it. See what he has to say.

She's not going to fuck you you know

yes and I won’t fuck you either, or probably anyone ever
This whole thread is about me being terrified of romantic physical contact lmao

As you should be. That face is a thing of nightmares.

You must have very mild nightmares then, my friend

Holy fuck. If I looked like that I'd be depressed too