How do i seduce a neighbour

>maybe mow the lawn and strike up a conversation
that's what I'm thinking about, do stuff backyard while she's out etc

she likes to smoke outside and hang out in skirts

bump

not her btw, i can post shitty fb pics if anyone cares

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She's not going to fuck someone that lives with their parents. Sorry.

>lives with your parents
Not gonna happen bud
Unless you're fucking jacked and walk around with your shirt off while drenched in sweat and her husband is a fat fuck that hasn't given her an orgasm in 5+ years

why not, dick is a dick

post shitty fb pics. We need to see what you're trying to slam

i'm skinny af but yeah her husband is fat and maybe doesn't fuck her that oflten

The fuck is wrong with you. You really want that headache?

It's far easier to get a single girl in bed then have to coordinate logistics of where her children and husband are while you are trying to fuck her, Even assuming she's into it.

Get on tinder, lie the shit out of your profile and find a whore dtf. Solve your problem in a day.

And if you can't sell your package to a girl looking to buy one, wtf makes you think you can sell this married woman on it? She is risking her house and family, and if you succeed, her bullshit becomes yours.

Find an equally hot single girl. Jesus.

This is not how females think, user.

Well at least YOU aren't fat. That's a start I guess

this is from 2011, doesn't look as good today
yeah but i know her since forever and it's fucking hot af to even think about it

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>Doesn't look as good today
>doesn't look good even then
abort mission. Get a tinder. Fuck some slut

Why her? She's not that good looking

Literally this. You're a fucking retarded fag OP.

Mom?

see

>
>if she's married with kids theres not much chance

Bullshit.

Currently banging 2 married women. 1 has one kid, the other has 3.
>Be friendly, not creepy
>Listen to them
>You also have to talk to them
>Find a common interest, even if it's simple. "Hey, I'm running to Starbucks, want me to grab you something?" works great, women never turn down free Starbucks.
>Go from there

I'm not saying you'll be dicking her by sundown, but you'll be noticed.

Considering there's a big age gap for OP, you may have to stick with helping around the yard

because it's hot, it's like porn plot
ok whatever
yo bud

Dude. You really need to raise your standards.

I get that you know her name and that's special and all..

But Jesus Christ go meet some people. Chicks your own age are far hotter, and they're young and dumb enough to fuck you based on your pickup line and possibility that you might make money in the future.

Older women will do a fucking credit check and vet your bullshit before jumping ship. She's not with the fat bastard because he's hot, but because he puts the roof overhead and food on the table.

Just link her profile and user will tell her that you want to fuck, if she's up for it she'll come calling

>you may have to stick with helping around the yard
based i'm all about that strategy

no homo, but how big is your dick? If you could wear gym shorts that show it off, she'll be inclined to notice it and she'll start thinking about it

i'm not fucking 13 jesus
yeah whatever I'm not asking you about general advice

>>i'm not fucking 13 jesus
Why not?

i'm white and normal

outta luck then OP

>>i'm not fucking 13 jesus
I would

based

You forgot to mention your substandard iq.

That you are dumb enough to try and Chase this down give a very poor chance of success.

If she was trying to fuck you I'd understand. But having to make it happen? God damn tard.

And if she goes for it, you're going to deserve everything you get.

bump

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This.
I'm 42/m, banged milfs aged 28 to 53. Never any effort, just do what he said.

Wait I know her!

YOU DONE GOOFED NOW OP

you are so boring jesus
based
based

TO HELL WITH SHITTY PICS - YOU GOT MORE OF THESE?!!

POST MORE

ofc everyithnig for my ni/b/b/as

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I'm the proverbial bored housewife and if you showed up when my husband was away and kids were in school all you'd need to do is show interest in me as a woman and project absolute discretion. Like say you'd die if anyone ever found out

What if I want the kids to join in?

>ugly
>no money
>dunno how to attract girls
You're better off with an escort

In the 904 by any chance? If so, you've got a deal.

not ugly
well yes
this is not standard girl, it's a married woman

That's why you have no chance. Why should she risk her marriage with a below avg or even avg guy?

Because she's horny, it's how it works in my doujinshi

to get some good ol dicking

If you have to ask you do not stand a chance!

Unless it's NTR then it's usually blackmail, but that is a shitty fetish

damn
what is that

And why exactly should she choose a faggot over a chad?

Unfortunately(?) no. In 603. Quite a commute

because i'm right there? there are no chads around also she's not that hot for a chad to be interested

/thread

urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Netorare

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>603
holy jeez you are not kidding! well, if you're ever up for something a little less tangible, hmu and i'll send over my snapchat/line/kik/whatever the kids use these days...

And that's where you're wrong kiddo

>but that is a shitty fetish
so you wouldn't fuck ur married neighbour?
how

>>so you wouldn't fuck ur married neighbour?
And loose my wizardly powers? NEVER!!!

(In all seriousness no I wouldn't my cousin tried to kill himself when he got cheated on, so I have kind of seen what it can lead to)

Chloroform. Baseball bat. Donkey punch. Take your pick.

>I'm the proverbial bored housewife

Are you fat?

>10:32:46
>Are you fat?

/thread

bump this a newer pic

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That’s Jen

lmao stop it i'm not from usa

bump

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Mmmm not really. Quite fuckable.

>
>That's why you have no chance. Why should she risk her marriage with a below avg or even avg guy?
Because women have needs, not just dicking, although it helps. Women like to have conversations, to be listened to, to be acknowledged. In my experience, the husbands don't provide them that. If you're there to take care of that need, they'll be more apt to take care of your need.

OP: Next time she's smoking out on the back porch, go over there and ask her for a light. If you don't smoke, think of something else. Strike up a convo about something small and random. Let her lead it. Listen to her, I guarantee you she'll mention something within 10 minutes that her husband hasn't done, offer to do that for her (yard/house). If she watches you do it wearing skimpy clothes, she's either going to be masturbating later, or if she invites you in for a drink after you move some shit around her garage or something.... golden

fuck that was great, thanks a lot

Dont do it user.
You probably fuck up her kids life.

they are not little tho, youngest one is 15

Then fuck the kid

bitch needs to wash her feet and asshole

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Shit on their doorstep then ding dong ditch

fuck

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bump once more just in case