>be me 20
>suicidal for the past 2 years
>been getting really bad the past few months
>planning on ending it soon
>only reason I'm hesitant is because my only option is full suspension hanging so its probably gonna suck butt
>thinking about how all my friends and family are gonna react also makes me upset
>mom will probably kill herself
>best friend who I grew up with will probably go into a deep depression and lose his job and just end up staying inside for god knows how long
>break my dad's heart too as well as tons of extended family
>kind of the been the family's youngster and like everyone's favorite
>got chaperoned around Europe meeting all my cousins and distant family this past summer
>dad will have to tell them all I'm dead
>pretty much the bottom row of a fairly large house of cards that is my family and friends
>my death would destroy several lives
>"suicide is so selfish"
>am I really supposed to be miserable constantly for the next 15-20 years just so other people stay moderately happy?
>can barely hold a job, been unemployed for months
>every day is just sadness, guilt for shitty things Ive done and pretty much zero joy
>"suicide is so selfish"
>but its my fucking life
>if I'm not happy why do I have to be here
>I'm not even the type who'd stay just so my parents wont be sad I literally dont care anymore
>not ugly at all just a little chubby literally 6 months of exercise would chad-ify me
>but I see no point really
>sure I'd be some chiseled hunk but Inside I'd still just be a piece of shit who wants to eat a gun barrel
>totally despise clubbing and today's culture and dating scene
>and if I do meet some perfect girl honestly I'm so convinced that I'm completely unworthy of it that I feel like she'll either cheat on me and break my heart or end up dying tragically and I'll just be back to square 1 of wanting to fucking kill myself
>not even sure what the point of this post is
>99% of you are autistic fucks who jerk off to tranny porn
Be me 20
Suicide is heroic. But it seems really physically painful.
Sorry you feel like shit but i think most people do. Im jealous of anyone who has the balls to actually do it in a not painless way, like hanging or jumping.
Good luck either way.
So here's my take man. I've been/struggled with depression my entire life. I could tell you it gets better with time and to stick it out but that's not the truth. The only way you will ever get out is to pull yourself out. You have to decide when you are sick and tired of being sick and tired. You can start out by doing the saitama workout, trust me it will kick your ass, alter your diet to whole and natural foods. Stop consuming sugar and processed foods daily. Doing those things will jump your energy/happiness ten fold. Start taking a mens multi vitamin. The biggest thing I can stress is build a support system, whether it's family or just a few friends from online. There is no shame in asking for help. You literally have an entire lifetime to mold the person and life you want. Expand your learning, I'm currently revisiting all of tools music and lyrics. Holy fuck it will change everything for you. I hope you find happiness and can move past this stage in your life, if people tell you that you make them happy fight for that. "Spiral out, keep going"
>2 years
rookie numbers
20?
Sounds like you need a big scoop of man the fuck up life is what you make it you lazy piece of shit get out there and start crying like a girl
Unless you trans that's cool
Imagine thinking everyone else's lives revolve around yours.
Never overestimate your value mate. Sure they'll miss you, but spare us the devastated family fantasies. Do it faggot. The planet is overpopulated as it is. The reduction byone less whiny, entitled asshole always welcomed.
So you're 20 now, you talk about the next 15-20 years as if that type of timeframe is a concept you are able to comprehend.
Kill yourself if you have to, but I'm getting sick and tired of all these young adults on this forum who instead of dealing with their fucking issues come here to complain and ask for help from some fucks who literally rather see you hang on stream.
The short answer to your problem is that life is a verb and if you're too fucking scared to act it out you might as well kill yourself. But if you do, act it out, you will likely find that it will surprise you in more ways than one. And on one thing the old fags can agree, 20 years old you generally don't know shit about life.
All these retards in this thread saying "oh ur 20? u dunno wat reel lyfe is liek, men teh fuk up"
OP I dunno what happened in your life, but I am in my mid twenties, been depressed for a few years now.
I don't judge, personally a bunch of close family and friends around me died... some I saw die at a young age. The dog I grew up with got fucking mauled by some pitbull trash, my relationship got fucking destroyed, almost all my friends fucking used and abandoned me. And to top it off my education failed me by unjustly denying me my exam.
I had nothing left to care for, nothing. But I am doing better now. The few people that I did have I talked to, some were more understanding than others. But in the end all I can tell you is go outside more, be that going to nature or into town... doesn't matter, but do something that feels good. Do this every day or every other day. Go walk or cycle, do some fun things you used to enjoy... and find some people you can honestly talk to.
Suicide is the easy way out, life is suffering. But if things really go wrong you can always kill yourself later, in the meantime you might as well stick out the ride to see what happens. There is no meaning to life other than the experience of meaning.
And if you still decide to kill yourself, at least take out massive loans and just go party hard doing whatever the fuck you want and then off yourself, at least you had some fun then.
Im 36 years old and think about dying everyday, but in too chicken shit to take my own life so I eat drink and fuck with impunity hoping one day I have a heart attack, catch aids or get hit by a bus. My advice to you if your serious about ending it is to do it sooner rather than later, I wish I had, I now have a wife and daughter and the thought of hurting them keeps me from doing something stupid.
My nigga
obvious attention whoring
if you really were thinking about ending your sorry life, why would you care how other people would react? You're obviously jumping to conclusions on how they would cope with your death, which is based on your fragile state of mind. You cannot know how they're going to react and neither should you care about it, because this emotional burden is really contributing to your suicidal tendencies and you'll be dead and not able to perceive, understand or care about it.
also
>The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
>Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
What's wrong with you that makes you so sad/depressed?
Write a letter to your parents, telling them that you want to start a newlife in another place with a new name. Then travel somewhere where nobody will find you and kys. Is that so hard? You just a little bitch who dont have a nerv
Fucking pussy. Instead of killing yourself why not improve yourself. Of course we have suicidal thoughts but don't act upon them. Life is like a play. The curtain goes down and when it comes up it's a different act. Your pain just becomes someone else's. Trust me I've lost few people to suicide including my brother and it was in a moment of desperation. One of my friends killed himself a couple month ago because his girl left him m now his kid doesn't have a dad.Permanent to a temporary problem.
You only have one life and 20 years old is Young. I'm 29 and I've been depressed since I was 14. Take some mushrooms. I've been micro dosing and sometimes taking a bit. Really helps rewire your brain
. Take 1/10 gram . Doesn't even effect you really. Seek help life is too short anyway to just waste it.
Don't kill yourself.
Go to sleep.
Hunt unworthy chunky V LIPS when you awaken, especially if they're talkative.
>22
>Never really held a job longer than a year
>Celebrated my 1 year anniv with my current job in April
>Got laid off basically on new years
>Security so they go contract to contract
>12 year contract ended on new years
>Wait 6+ months for a really good amazon contract
>Past 6 months felt like shit, not working any hours, barley scraping by, by the skin on my dick
>Truck engine takes a shit
>Have to take a 4k loan out to pay for it
>Completely drain my savings
>Work keeps telling me "two more weeks and you can go full time instead of one day a week!"
>Two weeks go by
>Another two weeks go by
>Keep thinking it's gonna be next week
>So close to making 16$/hr and working full time
>Literally feel like a sack of shit while not working
>completely lack any motivation to do anything
>Lack sense of purpose, sense of adventure
>Thinking negative thoughts
>Guns all around me since i'm a gun collector/shooter
>Thinking of tracking down rapists and child molesters and taking care of them before I end it all
>Tfw all my problems stem from money
>If I had a million dollars every problem ever would be solved
>I could pay off all my debts and get a place of my own to stay
>Maybe even buy a decent sailboat and just sail all over the world instead of being stuck in one spot
>The world is a lot bigger than Michigan...
DO IT
pro tip: bind your hands behind your back with a zip-tie so you can't get out when you invariably chicken out
Money is the route of all evil my friend, when you realise that you will be a lot happier.
I'm too responsible to not care about money. I have a debt of 16k. I have a good credit score. Things I care about. I'm a hard worker, but i've been trapped lately. Money is the route of all evil, but I still need it to survive.
it's ROOT you illiterate degenerates
Fuck, he got us.