What should i bring on my camping trip? Just me and my niece...

This is his niece, not some random abductee he's going to leave in a plastic bag.

And muscle relaxers

I don't know what your niece likes, why the hell are you asking other people? But, sure, let's say you know nothing about her and are asking us for general advice.

It depends on how old she is. What is interesting to a 8 year old won't be interesting to a 16 year old.

C'mon, man, more info is needed to make an even remotely decent suggestion.

Video games. Give her a god damn handheld game system if you have one, let her play something stupid like Kirby or whatever casual esque games you might have.

I dont see how that would make a difference

He's going to have to explain the vaginal damage to her parents. If it's some random van kid you can be as rough as you want but with family members some discretion is required. Have you never done this before?

Bug spray for God's sake. Between mosquitos and ticks you won't come out alive.

rope and duct tape,that way its easier to rape her

>implying

The right parents wouldn't care. Plus you could threaten her or bribe her to keep her mouth shut. Also, no I haven't done it before but I do often fantasize about it. maybe someday..

>Just me and my niece

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thats he should kill her before doing it,a dead person cant tell anybody

Ugh, you're so edgy, you sure you don't belong to...sigh... the DC universe?

But then you wouldn't get to hear her cry which essential for me to get off properly

Why would you ask Yea Forums? Just bunch of pedos and creeps not gonna give u serious answer a

I did.

wieners and buns. For camp dinner of course.

I did too. The dildo one

Bring condoms

A 7 year old wont get pregnant retard. And I doubt she'd have an std

This is illegal, you know.

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actually its not impossible for her to get pregos

Nigga wut?

They could if they had precocious puberty.

Dungeons and dragons

Comfy shoes and mosquito repellant... I recommend Skin-so-Soft.

Amen.

lot's of baby oil

Why baby oil?

I think it should be obvious. It's good for the kid's skin.

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The smallest strap-on for her when she pegs you

Drugs

Yeah. The pussy and asshole skin! Ohhhh!!! High fives OP is so getting laid

Just saying....

Hard to explain vaginal bleeding/tears, but rectal bleeding/tears could come from a bout of constipation....

Just saying...

you fucking pedo pervert. They're going camping!

I'd get one of those o ring gags that force the mouth to stay open and use that on her till she pukes. hottt and no bleeding or tearing

>believing some one would actually post this information on the internet

This was a bait thread so some neck beard could jerk to w/e fantasies other neckbeards made.-

Probably on a list now just for being here

Agree!

Haha. Nope!

some cucumbers and peanut butter...

so that you can fuck your own ass

for trolling a pedo?

One sleeping bag, and enough viagra to make sure you ruin her pussy the entire time.

You're on the list for months buddy

For being a pedo

Really? Tell me more

Afirm. All logged Gary.

...

Shit. That's not my actual name but it's the nickname I chose for my penis

Go to a pet store and get yourself a Jumping Activation Ball. This works best if you have a dog, of course -- but even if you don't, it'll be a hit.
Its supposedly a toy for dogs. It buzzes and vibrates strongly, making it move around on the floor. But it won't take a little girl long for a little girl to figure out that its fun for other reasons.

Don't be surprised if it "disappears" by the end of the camping trip.

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Actually good advice lol. Like that vibrating toy harry potter wand a few years ago that was very popular among young girls

I think it was a broom. But yeah

>The right parents wouldn't care.
Honestly, if they're letting their daughter go on a solo camping trip with her uncle they know what's happening.

Not where I'm from...

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You were on the list the first time you typed Yea Forums into the address bar...

Those fatwood sticks are good if you aren't good at making a fire. Takes about three of them to ensure proper lighting.

A BB gun and plenty of gas cannisters and BBs will be fun. Maybe you can kill something with it and roast its flesh much to the dismay of your relative.

If she's a vegan (a retard) make sure to bring a picture of her father and tell her "this man is ashamed of you for your choices. Now eat a fucking hamburger."

Protip: Those garden solar lamps are pretty damn handy for camping since most of them will continue glowing all night for the first year or two. Leave them in the sun the first day and at night hang one in the tent or just place them around your clearing. Stuff them in a tree stump and wake her up at 2AM babbling about monsters and when she sees the glowing, anthropic stump, she will screech in terror and be scarred for life. HAHAHA

a nintendo switch

He was on the list before he even came here, was added by another department

I meant the secret FEMA-camp dissident list, not the sex offender registry. I mean, everyone in this thread is on THAT list akready...

don't forget battery banks to keep it charged

get

I suggest a shovel and a body bag for when you're done