ITT: things you've done in autistic rage

This is why I didn't play pokemon go after the initial hype died down. Wasting time doing dumb shit that nobody will care about a day later. Cheaters about and nolifers plentiful.

Wait wait wait wait, ... let's see where it goes

This is all of my what

popped out and grinded the keys of my brothers keyboard to dust and used the dust and some industrial strength glue to clog the vent on his computer
cant find the pics right now

fire discipline. watched people die. very satisfying.

I flipped off a bitch who cut me off a few months ago and she followed me into my neighborhood and I slowed down and rolled down my window and she was screaming at me and shit and I threatened to drag her out of the car and rape her.

smear feces all over the walls

Alcohol was involved with most of them but yeah, punched and kicked holes in the wall, smashed picture frames on ground, smashed xbox controller into concrete ground, smashed keyboard as hard as i could onto freezer chest and it left massive dents in the metal(that one got me kicked out of my parents house), sucker punched my brother, sucker punched my dad, screamed at my dog, put a pool cue through my tv, smashed my dads $3000 camera with a baseball bat, through beer bottle at neighbours house, kept slamming front door until it broke, man i can keep going on and on with these

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Actually started to learn seduction and pick up, with David Deangelo. It was so ackward, trying all this stuff, but at that time, nobody knew about negging or other tactics.

It all was a secret until a couple years ago, when success was very high. But it took me +7 years of being fucking rejected and feeling like an autistic faggot.

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I'm kinda jealous, if I did than when I was a kid I would have had my shit kicked in and wouldn't have shit until 18, which my ass would hit the door. Your parents fucked up on you dude. Be better in the future.

>be me
>20
>have hamster
>try meth and decide to fuck my hamster because i was really mad
>use hamster as fleshlight for 30 minutes using no lube
>i finish when i see that in my autistic meth rage i killed it with the sheer force of my 9.5" peepee
>feelsgoodman.jpeg
>alsofeelsbadman.jpeg
>throw out hamster and get new one
>never take meth again
>mfw

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Lmao the funny thing is when i did stuff like that when i was a small kid i WOULD get my ass kicked, or belted or wooden spoon but when i got bigger i could take them on and they stopped trying and would just call the cops if things got out of hand. But yeah that stuff happened over 10 years ago, i feel bad for acting that way and im alot different now

>smashed my dads $3000 camera with a baseball bat
Wish there was a vid of you doing this and dads reaction

I feel really bad about that one, photography is his hobby and he didnt even rage when i did that he just got really sad

How dis you get a 9.5 inch pp in a tiny hamster bum?
Sounds fake tbh

>Be me
>Driving down a country road
>It's the middle of the night
>Deer jumps on side of road jumps directly into side of car
>I was going about 70mph
>Side of vehicle is fucked
>Go into autistic rage
>Pull over to punch the dead fucker
>Heads towards it
>The fucker stands up
>Sees me
>I start to run at it
>Run at it screaming at full blast
>IT'S FUCKING ON
>Give chase
>Chase after it running through people's yards
>Still screaming
>Give up after about a 1/2 mile
>Lucky mother fucker
MFW people watched me
MFW I probably should of been shot
MFW nobody said a fucking word to me
MFW I have no face

On the fourth line subtract the first >jumps
I goof'd on that

Had a plasma glass and punched it one night, 3/8” tempered glass, I still have the scars.

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Why?

Anger and alcohol

Ah. That'll do it

And a female

Started a yellow movement on Yea Forums And then got bored and started jacking off.

How bad of a scar we talkin?

i love you and i love what you did

Dude,you are an asshole

Stabbed a kid in the throat with a compass when I was in grade 6.

meth is a hell of a drug man

Zozzle.

Goddamn. Those things are no joke. What was the result of your actions?(punishment wise) is the kid still fucked up?

Were you expecting rage in return?

Bump, plus tell me how to make my greentext better. Do I need more detail or is it because it is anticlimactic?

Or is it not that interesting?

I destroyed his larynx and he almost died, but he was trying to choke me out at the time and I thought I was going to die. It was agreed that I'd be transferred to another school. The kid who choked me was also transferred to a different school. From what I hear he can barely talk now.

Bump

I beat up my gf pretty bad. Hospitalized her.

Fortunately she took the rap and said she tripped.

I promised never to beat her again, but whatever.

Bump

Nice. Was it during math class or was there a compass just laying around?

Slammed a door too hard and broke the lock trying to get my mind off the pain of getting my wisdom teeth extracted.

Fucking summer newfag. LITERALLY KILL YOURSELF, YOU FUCKING MILLENNIAL.

story?

It's fucked up, but not really autistic in my opinion. Do you still think about beating her ass from time to time?

I bit the top screen of my 3DS so hard it broke

I did a similar thing with my iphone screen.

i broke into to some loser old lady's apartment one night when she was away.

I opened up 12 cans of tuna a crammed it down her vents with a broomstick.

...

Same but didn't bite mine. I just beat it off the ground til the screen broke off with the wires exposed

punched holes through my door until my knuckles bled because my parents pissed me off, it was years ago, can't even remember why

Having tried meth 2x, I can relate

so hey have y'all considered uhhhhhhh getting some therapy for your uhhhhhh serious, deep-seated issues??

Currently on meth. Can't relate

>Be 16 yr old me
>ex-gf bitches at me while I was driving
>Stop car inn middle of highway
>"get out"
>She asks if Im serious
>Tell her yes then spit on her
>She claws my face and tells me to fucking drive
>Wait until she realises Im not going anywhere
>Exgf leaves car in middle of highway

Needless to say she dumped me.

I just do it when I'm drinking/coke comedown.

She beaks off, so technically her fault.

mommy wouldn't give me my tendies, even though i was a good boy all week so i pissed and shitted on her bed at 4am and screeched at her until she went to 711 to buy me some tasty tendies.

No one stole your car? Hm.

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No shit she dumped you

I once whipped my PS4 controller at my brick mantle and it rocketed back and hit me on the cheek lol. Fuckin hurt.

i'll shit in your bed too, weebnigger

>falcon punched a tv
>snapped a smartphone in half
>threw monitor out window
>smashed a ceramic bowl with another ceramic bowl
>countless controllers fallen victim to my rage
>ripped door off hinges
>kicked in a bathroom door
>flipped table
>scream nigger at the top of my lungs

you have to be 18 to post here

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ITT people doing things they would call a black person nigger for doing

Nope. Left the car running as well. It was in the ass crack of nowhere. I bet only 2-3 cars passed during this.

lol u tk him 2da bar|

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Madman

oh boy
>be leme.jpg
>get ticketed by university parking enforcement.
>I have raked up $3000 in fines and they withheld my graduation
>dad gets mad at me and takes 3k out of my bank account to pay the university fines
>8 dollars left in my checking account
>drove to home depot and used my last few dollars to buy a huge tube of JB Weld plastic bonder and stole another 3 tubes of superglue
>drive to university at 2am
>put black hoodie on and superglued every last parking machines payment slots, then smashed the screens with baseball bat
>2 days later, story of a young male with black hoodie vandalizing parking machines gets sent out in university wide email
>1 year later, still havent been caught, and graduated from university

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no u

Isn't it past your bedtime?

That's not from reddit fucktard

My whole life

underrated

tbh you're my hero

yes

But why though

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thanks means a lot coming from autists on here. We all have to band together and do this so unis can stop fucking charging student to park when we already pay 10s of thousands to attend their shitty institutions

Not really being autistic. Just being a fucking badass. (In my opinion)

Good for you!

You are a good person. I hope those code enforcement faggots starve to death.

you are good people, its been so hard to keep this a secret from all my friends cause one of them is bound to tell the wrong person

It was after recess when we were getting ready for class. He was me to the school dance and i said no thanks. Then he grabbed me by the throat and started choking me. It tried hitting him but he wouldn't stop. I could feel myself passing out and I could see my geometry set on my desk open. I grabbed the compass and swung it at him. I meant to hit him in the face but I got him in the Adams Apple. I was passing out and he let me go. Everything sounded metallic and I can remember the sound of my teacher screaming.

If this happened today he would probably go to juvie but this was 92 and the school just wanted the whole thing to go away.

What bugs me most is my mom was angry at me and kept telling me I should have just said yes.

Just give it some time. Then you can tell people about your awesomeness. If you fear someone still might rat you out then they are a douchebag and you shouldn't be around them

>always see in shows and movies people punching or smashing their heads into mirrors
>buy a hanging mirror and keep it in my car
>two days later get really upset and angry and go to my car where i bang my head into the mirror a couple of times before just punching through it
>nothing happened to my head but i cut my hand up badly and am bleeding a good bit
>have to vacuum my car up that night because of all the broken glass inside

Use your imagination user.

Kid was a psycho. Good for you

God I hope you're writing this from a prison, you degenerate.

Thanks. I thought so but my mom still blamed me for all the trouble she had to go through driving me to another school.

6th grade
> first time walking home from school
> car is parking near the sidewalk
> parks extremely slow
> for some reason stare at it as if its going to run me over
Still cringe when I think back on it.

Nothing really prison worthy in my opinion. user is just an angry dude

7+ years,jeez how bad are you at flirting?Took me 6 months to master it and I learned from Craig Ferguson.

Yeah you're right, destroying your parents property and your neighbors property isn't real, right?

Tried throwing a jellyfish at my autistic cousin

missed and fucked my hand for the rest of the trip

thanks and love you back
now i have some motivation to go through my old hdds and cds and maybe find them
if so ill post them over the weekend with some other random shit
if not there will still be some delicious nonsense to share

She was probably just pissed about the driving everyday. She had to of known you weren't wrong for what you did. It sounds more like a freak accident

David compare to all others is actually good and will teach you how to be a normal/confident male. 77 Laws is very good.

I bet he is just way too picky and goes for chicks out of his league. 7 years too fucking long to figure that shit out

No. My mom was a terrible mother. I understand why my dad left her. It took me a long time to get over the shit my mother put me through like when I was 14 and one of her boyfriends tried to rape me and she woke up from her drunken stupor and stopped him but blamed me for it.

I put up with a lot of shit from her growing up. Left home at 17 and haven't seen her since. Wish I could find my dad though.

Fucking Based

Give me the original vid I need something to nut to.

>Be me
>Parents live in an affluent neighborhood
>be NEET IRL, the real deal
>be part of a bunch of /pol/ threads discussing communism and vagrants and general homelessness type shit
>few anarcho communist anons piss me off
>see homeless man going through MY garbage on my land
>pull a gun and threaten to shoot the homeless man while grabbing garbage back away from him and autistic screeching
>Neighbors call the cops
>talking to neighbor before cops come and the neighbor said he told the cops the guy had a weapon
>was threatening people with it and stealing peoples property
>We agree on our story
>Cops show up
>Old bum starts telling the cops what we're up to
>They take one look at us and we deny it all
>They arrest the homeless piece of shit for threatening me with a weapon, spent the next 6 months in jail for priors

kek i dont feel bad at all

Well done user

Keep on keeping it quiet too. You're a hero

You gave him a place to sleep and 3 meals, good on you user.

She attends the same church as me, so I got to hear all about it and how disruptive it was for her.

>She had to of known
Why are Americans so bad at spelling?
It's she had to HAVE known. Geez
It's should HAVE not should of, etc.
Effect and Affect are two different things. Niggers are bad

Oh, and because she used to babysit me and my sister, but stopped because her husband passed away.

It pisses me the fuck off too

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different user. if you have his name or knew what he did for work that'd be a good place to start.

Shouted a profanity and stormed out of the room after I couldn't cum dunring sex. Because I jacked off three times before my grilfriend came over.

>mfw I got autistic because I sabotaged my own sex life

How did they put up with you for so long and please do continue

Sorry friend, but this doesn't make sense.

Keked

That moment she had to ask for a lift home and propaply had to suck a dude off for it.

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Dude I made the same mistake when I lost my virginity, but I masterbated like 10 times before hand. we went at it for almost an hour and she rode my cock through most of it. She couldn't hardly walk the next day. She went around the school and told everyone about it, but I looked like a badass because she could hardly walk. Even though my dick isn't big. No one remembered the part of her story where I didn't jizz

>based meme
>based story
see ya on reddit

Conan o brien was also of big help.Im the funny flirty guy.

Yup. I bet someone on this thread has already posted it.

I'm 25 and have done the nasty several hundreds of times. The annoying part is that I found some porn that hit the spot and went overboard, and my gf (who is way hotter than I deserve) didn't get her coup de grace as a result. And I got autistic and swore and fled the scene. Really embarassing. By this point, I didn't think there was much that could embarrass me.

your pic kinda related. some indian shit skin cut me off in an intersection. so i followed him home. then when i knew where we lived, I came back that night and slashed his tires.

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thank you and no you wont find the same story because its what actually happened to me. hatRZ will say its fake and gay but only i know the truth of what happened. I was inspired to do it by some dude in Canada who sprayed whipped cream into hospital parking machines to protest the fees he had to pay everyday for his cancer treatment. Instead of doing something harmless though, I decided to really fuck shit up. Definitely one of the things im proud of but cant tell anyone

Cancer dude < (you)

You weren't dumb enough to get caught

>MFW I probably should of been shot
Why exactly?

I really thought i was going to get caught cause theres a shit ton of uni security patrols and cars. I used my criminology degree to trace all the ways in which i could be caught and avoided it. Pulled up to an empty parking lot 1km away from campus, took my plates off. Also taped part of a tent over the roof of my car so that it couldnt be recognized. Wore a generic black hoodie and shoes with no grip left on it, as well as gloves and a mask. I know it was overkill but im now in law school and didnt want to get fucked over. Even afterwards I was really anxious and think about it to this day. One of those things that might come back to haunt you

Legend

Cut a bullies thumb off with surgical scissors when he tried to break into my house, I was 6 he was seven he was black with a fat white crackhead mom. The cops said I did good l, gave me a pair of handcuffs.

Stabbed a kid in the hand with a pencil during art class, he kept pushing my paper I told him to stop he didn’t. We went to the vice principal after the nurse removed the pencil from his hand. She told him it was his fault for taunting me.

I’m bipolar & my therapist says I have OCPD, I guess it’s not normal to hold grudges for years but I can’t sleep without thinking of killing the people who I feel wronged me in life.

HE SAID COUNTRY ROAD, NOT NIGGER INFESTED INNER CITY ROAD YOU MONG

>paying gamecube
>lose over and over at need for speed underground 2
>remember how my gameboy was a tank that survived a flood, falling down stairs multiple times, rage throws
>get pissed
>grab gamecube by its handle
>slam it on the floor
>shatters. like. fucking. glass.
>dad comes upstairs to see what happened
>sees my expensive Christmas present
>haha now you got no game system retard good one, you aren't getting another...

God i miss my dad...

Related. My buddy pulled my shotgun out of the backseat and fired it into the grill of a car following us cause he didn’t like that we wouldn’t speed up to 30 over the limit at 3 am.

LOL, no. technically your fault you fucking rard

Kid threw a bottle at me, so I beat the shit out of him, then roared after his bleeding face hit the ground when he passed out. Was suspended for a week and had to do community service over the summer. Not my proudest moment.

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Bah you're not broken, you just need to trust Jesus, this world will pay for its sins, including the one who hurt you like that... i caught a glimpse of what you've been through and you're this restrained? You'll watch him swallow molten rock for what he did to you... oh sweet child of god ... the end draws near, hold on a little longer... i feel your pain and shed some tears for you. I pray you find your peace tonight knowing he'll burn for all eternity long and you'll live on happy. I pray the headaches stop in christ's name... i pray the ringing stops and you find the silence you long for.

Or maybe speech to text, you autistic fuck.

>hey guise, ima make sure I'm not suspicious to the cops by taking my plates off and pitching a goddamned tent on my ride. That'll make sure they don't notice me at all

The campus has its own private roadways that are not enforced by local law enforcement. Besides, its better to be pulled over for no plates than be caught for some awful shit

One time I asked my mom for weed in front of a guy she was dating.

That's fair I guess.

yeah and this was my inspiration if youre wondering
cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/cancer-patient-parking-meter-dies-1.4943249

Imagine wearing your time in this hell hole as a badge of honor...

user. I hope one day you get to share your legendary story with the world. Until you graduate and get past habeas corpus keep a low profile because your legendary story will become god like if you don't get caught

How do you rake 3k in parking fines before having to pay? You'd get booted before it even hit 500 dollars worth of tickets. Fake as fuck.

>should of
>of
learn2English

>through beer bottle
>through

That was a good laugh, thanks man.

fun discord join now

discord
.gg/Mqe36gm

j

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its the university parking enforcement there's no booting. They cant even tow you off campus legally speaking. I got towed once parking in a disabled spot and it was just to another parking lot on campus ffs. So no, im not making this shit up autist

lol been a year so far, we'll see. They had parking enforcement hand out tickets and block off the entrances to the lots the day after I did it. University was mad as heck but i doubt theyre still investigating at this point

Because I am a hillbilly and people take trespassing on their property way too serious around here

Stay safe you magnificent b/astard

thank you sir spread the movement maybe theres someone as autistic as me willing to do it at a local uni of yours

>playing fallout 4
>survival mode
>no saves
>half of the main quest
>run
>touch car
>instantly die
>get so mad I punched the TV
>giant black spot appears
>on the flood of desperation open my laptop and talk shit about bethesda

honestly kinda cool, I hope you get to become the very best like no one ever was

>(in my opinion)
fuck off tumblr

>parking in disabled spot
Fuck you, you selfish cunt, you deserve what you got.
Universities usually have their own impound lots. Also, booting is authorized, what gave you the idea that parking and transportation cannot boot on a university? Tt least the 3 I've been to have had their own. Even smaller universities utilize city tow yards when they don't have their own. Still do not believe you.

don't push it too much. watch your own ass first. you probably enjoy the adrenaline rush from doing something like this, but remember jail time could harm your career. it would be better if you taught people how to do something like this without getting caught

Or not be a nigger and either park your car legally or pay off your fines, like an outstanding white person would.

ex dumped me so I ragefucked this new girl on the first date
still together 10 yrs later

Never used Tumblr before. I unironically did that and don't even know the connection between the two

The Karma thats going to bite you is gonna suck man. I hope it dosent just flat out kill you.

cope

Sorry man not all of us are perfect and don't break the rules. Even us white folk. Go be a goody good cunt boy somewhere else

Dude fucked another chick, how can you even "cope," him? Unless he's.... lying

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>us white folk
You mean "like other niggers."

I did this too.

Did she have a bigger dick though?

In reply to your pic, i was followed home by a retard once because i was nearly ran off the road by a rabbit and almost sideswiped him.
I drove in circles and in random places trying to make him take an hint and fuck off but he wouldn't take it. I just said to hell with it parked my car in my yard, sped walked to my garage and started to open it, behind me a could hear the ebonics of a man as he got out of his car and started walking towards me,
I rolled under my garage door dove for my 12 gauge , racked it and scream "get some nigger"
And in my life, i have never again seen a nigger run faster at any point.

you caught me. wat do?

Kek

yes

Chucked my phone at the ground (and cracked the screen) because the clerk at the liquor store wouldn’t sell me booze after I showed him my fake ID that costs me $100

His parents probably did him worse than he's ever done them

Sounds like another story that only happened in your head.

I passed a dude at an intersection who had his headlights off, turned his lights on and proceeded to follow me. I noticed this instantly, and began running circles around my neighborhood, and noticed he did the same. After about 5 times, he fucked off. I parked in front of a random dude's houses, got out and hid in the bushes in case he came back. After about 20 minutes of hiding with a pocket knife (due to leaving my G2 being on my desk inside the house) drawn, got back in and drove home. Some weird scary shit.

I Failed Nofap after 6 days then punched my dick as hard as I could out of shame and anger

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do you still think about that ragefuck and wonder what if?

dis iz my reel voice. u niggaz kno ya gurl luv da bbc

I shit in someone’s book bag in highschool. I didn’t get caught but everyone was talking about it and it felt good. Was tempted to do it again and become the poop bandit but I realized it was autistic, I only did it the first time cause the dude was an top tier asshole.

Relax bro. You didn't get caught and they have probably long since given up searching. It's not gonna come back to haunt you. You got away with some shit, feel good about it

I told a girl that i loved her.

fuck you nigger i had my books bag shat on once and never knew who it was. I'll rape you alive if i see you

lol. had a friend poop in the urinal right after that episode of South Park aired. he got caught though

faggot

is thread ded? Damn. This thread was better than most of the bullshit currently on here

I pulled an entire window out of the wall in my depressed rampage when i found out my girlfriend was cheating on me.

Explain. What do you mean by pulling a window out of a wall? Did you break it or did you disassemble it?

i mean i grabbed it by the frame and hulk pulled until the whole frame and shelf came out of the wall all in one go. Ripped up my hands but I was out of it, didnt feel a thing until after.

Damn. I assume you needed stitches. How many did you need?

fucking snowflake. You really think to deserve this fucking parking space, right? I bet your Mama thinks your really special, right? Well, your not. Just 'cause bid daddy has paid so much mooonnney for you fucking education, you deserve to be treated better, right?

Fucking piece of shit.

It doesnt hurt that much pussy

I'm a millennial and I was born in 1990. How old are you?

1999 why

>Be me
>Be in religious education class
>Normal teacher is gone, hatchet-faced bitch I don't know is filling in for him. She lets us do whatever we want.
>Bowels start gurgling
>Put my hand up to ask permission to use privy
>Teacher is staring intently at computer screen, ignoring all children
>Minute goes by with hand in air, still nothing
>abouttoshitmyself.wav
>Smash my face as hard as I can into my desk
>That got her attention, I ask if I can go to toilet
>"No; you don't ask by banging on your desk"
>I explain that I will crap myself if I am not let out
>"I don't care"
>Ask her if she would care if I shit on her, whilst walking up to her desk and undoing my trousers
>She sends me out of the classroom in a rage
I proceeded to run to the toilets and take a massive diarrhoea dump once outside and all was well.

just wondering. it blows my mind when I find people older than me and you said you weren't a millennial so I was wondering if you were born in the early 80s or the 70s even. they are rare

One of my old "friends" from school days hits my parents up for weed in the current year after he stole my ex's nudes off my phone with a USB sleeping over at his house once in 11th grade and sent them to virtually everyone I went to class with in this city 5 years back. My village bicycle ex, my parents and pretty much everyone I would've wanted to know in this town treat me like shit while they all get along without me, so I usually just work and mind my own business and wish they'd die in their sleep. But getting high and playing vidya and being a Chad to random ass girls out of spite and attempts to forget the past got boring and depressing overall, so when that rat fuck had the audacity to bring my ex up and start talking shit directly to me two weeks ago I told him we'd take it to the backyard and settle things so we could grow up. I took a few hits, I had fun with it, but I was pretty genuinely pissed about a lot of things. He asked me if I was done after he got me on the ground and I ended up saying nothing and getting him in a reverse headlock that I didn't want to let up on when he finally tapped out, but I wasn't gonna brain damage the poor fuck over my first thot.
I thought maybe I could talk out our issues after that, but my family treats this fuck better behind my back today than they treat me currently to my face, so I just told him not to come the fuck back from now on for simplicity's sake. My mom's salty as fuck that one of her best customers is gone, but if he was really my friend he would've got it from me instead and not treated me like a fuckin afterthought the way he always has. So fuck her too, I got what I needed to get out and they all took the loss this time instead.
Now life just needs to stop giving me fucking seizures and I'm set. Fuck prescriptions at 22.

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Are the seizures a metaphor or do you really have seizures? If that's so that fucking sucks my dude. Plus it sounds like you need to move somewhere else and you might be happier

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I had my first seizure occurrence in October of last year. Two different hospital visits for two in two days in a row. I've been fine up until last week when I forgot my meds for two nights and had my third seizure on Wednesday. Doctors are currently unsure of my cause, as it is a possibility that I'm genetically predisposed through indicators on my mom's side, but I was also going through a pretty shitty love life and depressed world view at 21 and had a job at a liquor store that led to partying with a bad crowd and unfortunately my first meth overdose the first time I tried looking for coke at a party. That was my life in Pennsylvania. I come down to Florida, my dad's part of town and my high school area, and people just want to pick fights with me or bring up my hoor ex from years ago. I don't have the resources or the motivation to be on my own yet, and I feel like an outcast who is merely still alive because he has a roof over his head and food in his belly, but with no desire to live whatsoever outside of drugs, and no reason to trust others in the long run.

>Bitch in school outed me as gay class
>Immediate bullying occurs and lasts all day
>Decide on walk home with best (and only) friend that enough is enough
>Best friend stays round my place that night
>We get pretty high
>I make a concoction of spaghetti, baked beans, orange juice, toilet bleach and washing up liquid.
>Boil it for about ten minutes and then put it in a Tupperware container.
>The smell is absolutely disgusting
>Best friend and I head out at like 2AM and walk about 10 minutes to the house where the bitch who outed me lives. Concoction in hand.
>Absolutely cover her mother's car in the stuff and sling the remainder on the front door
>Run like fuck back home and get more high, laughing about the stupid shit we just did.

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Slashed my mom's car tyres..

>spaghetti

Sounds about right.

Some guy pissed me off online so I pretended to be a girl and messaged him on kik, while still pretending to be the girl I spoke to him for a while and said I'd sent him pics for £20. He sent the money and I send pictures some trap I found, he thought it was this non-existent girl he had been talking to and said he enjoyed masturbating to them

Did they find out it was you?

This isn't the alpha thread.

Talk to a girl

Nah, but we did get to witness the aftermath the next day, we went to the shop down the road from where she lived and saw her mum hosing down the car. Spaghetti and beans all over the driveway. It was glorious.

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I'm that guy who's yelling at the employees for just doing their jobs because they slightly inconvenienced me in some way.

you sound like an awful person. do what said. be better.

Nigger. What did her mom do to you? Her mom was innocent in all this.

given friends bloody noses or black eyes for being too loud. i hate abrupt noises.

pissed on my old laptop (managed to salvage the hard drive so eh).

threw my ex's phone into a lake because she was browsing on instagram too much.

Her mum was a known slutty bitch who neglected her kids. Bitch had it coming

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Not him, but her mother raised a cunt and bears some of the responsibility for raising such a shitty child.

Being an absolute self-serving cunt is nature only to psychopaths. In all other cases it's nurture

Did you and your best friend fuck after that?

God me and this friend back in highschool would lose our shit over this back in the day. Thank you for the nostalgia kek

Not a rage thing but I used to print out a ton of furry porn and hentai pics (usually futa) and put them in postboxes, giggling with glee while imagining the postal worker's reaction.

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Best friend is a girl, so no.

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Fucking kek

Closest one to actually being autistic I've read so far

Fuck me. That's my second trip of this bread

I have done similar, but I did gore.

hahahahha savage

This post and the responses are how you can tell everyone on Yea Forums is underage.

Have you ever tried having sex with a girl? Most gay people I know have at least tried it once with the opposite sex

>4th grade
>Playing 4 square at recess with a group of mostly 5th graders
>Guy in top square is some 5th grader Chad mexican kid with short gelled spiky hair
>I fucking loved 4 square, was my favorite recess game for years until ballwall
>My turn to play, been waiting in line for like 15 minutes
>Chad kid pushes ball into my square, then reaches over and dribbles it down a second time
>He catches ball
>"You're out."
>Wat.jpg
>"You're out, it bounced twice"
>"You can't do that! You can't touch the ball twice in a row!"
>"Yuh-huh."
>Other kids in line and in the game start getting annoyed, some telling me to basically stop being a faggot and get back in line
>"Whatever, I'm going to go get a duty then."
>As I turn to go get a duty, I feel the ball slam into the back of my head.
>Chad is pointing and laughing.
>Autism rage mode engaged
>Pick up the ball, sprint at that motherfucker with the intent to fucking nail him in the face
>He's like "oh shit" and starts to run, he's faster than me
>Hear him laughing
>Start rage screaming as I continue to chase him around the playground with the ball
>Eventually get stopped by a duty, try to explain calmly what happened but she's just pissed at me and sends me to the office.
>Had to talk to a school counselor, lol
To this day, I still believe you shouldn't be able to do that in 4 square, lol

tbf i think any sane person would do the same in that situation

Fuck no. That's a double touch. Where I'm from that's a serious fucking foul. Punishable by death I think. Chad was just being a douchebag to make the other kids laugh

Hahahaha

I punched my keyboard a few times but I am a pretty tame person so not much else.

I haven't, mostly because vaginas look like some lovecraftian monstrosity to me. Closest I ever got was kissing a girl in my early teens.

You fucking monster. Why would you do such a thing?

similar shit happened to me (but playing dodgeball and kid had clearly crossed the line) but as he was running away i picked up a skipping rope and whipped him around the face for it.
Teacher knew me as a good kid and assumed that the other kid was lying despite having a clear mark on his face.

thankyou Mr Dash

Yeah. My gay friends mostly describe it as one of the worst experiences of their lives, so I don't think you are missing out on much

Straight guy here, for sure there's a lot of monster vag out there. There's also a few rare beautiful pussies, but mostly you're going to be expecting monster craw.
But that's besides the point. It's how it feels, wet, and around your dick, user. Also the noises she makes and how her tits/waist feel in your hands

Do you go out of your way to find him?

Fucking thank you. Where were you when I needed you in 2005, user?

Straight guy here. You need to learn about perspective

In middle school, but I would of gladly stepped in to teach a mother fucker about rules and regulations

You got me wanting to look on YouTube now to see if there is such a thing as professional 4 square

>o.o
owo owo XDDD!!!11!
LOOOL

UwU

kek

just fucking stop. it's not funny in any shape or form

go on then

I jacked off in class because I hate the teacher(she was a middle aged women who liked minions)

Wow, nice wokecheck bro

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>I REEEED at my parents in the middle of the mall and went to go punch a mirror in the food court while in a rage. I broke my hand in 3 places because it was on a brick pillar.

>be blacked out hammered. leave my brothers with 2 of his swords, hold a schizophrenic dude hostage, demanded him to fight me. Give him a sword. He runs home with me on his heels wielding Sting and Hahdafang. What the fuck is wrong with me?

>be 9. Girl that was like 7 throws a stick at me. Lands right in my fucking eye. Proceed to beat the living shit out of her. Im screaming and crying. Nobody can stop me. My friends and some random kids stand back and just watch me fucking pummel this little girl. Got in so much shit.

a lot more but id have to think lol

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Gimme dem toesie wosies uwu

>discuss with father
>not reallly angry, kinda upset
>go into my room
>start to get angry, even though he leaves me alone
>see vacuum cleaner standing in the middle of my room
>hold cable
>whip a random wall with it bc I'm mad
>IndianaJones.gif
>The metalic part of the plug made a small hole on the wall
>inmediately calm down
>mfw when I'm a fucking autist

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HELLO WAVE TITAN

ADD ME ON THE SCREENCAP, PLEASE?

I had the cops called on me multiple times because I didnt like meltable meds or steam meds

A little over 20 years ago me and two friends of mine went to our school and fucked shit up. Both of my friends died, I made it out alive though.

>vaginas look weird

All genitals are kinda weird looking man. You mean to tell me man-sack isn't a freaky looking thing? All wrinkly and droopy.

greentext incoming?

Yeah, but I find them hot. Don't find vaginas hot.

Well, something is obviously wrong. You're just looking at it all wrong dude

Dude. I've had this same exact argument with a gay friend

BUT

BUT THAT'S GAY

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"savage" summertimessssssssssssssssssssssss :)

You may be unaware, but the Yea Forums.org website offers a variety of different boards. While the Yea Forums (random) board may be used for anything that’s random, it would be better to populate other boards where your specific interest lies..!
Here are a list of various boards dedicated to specific genres of porn listed under the “Adult” section on the Yea Forums website!
Sexy Beautiful Women
Adult Gif
Hardcore
Handsome Men
Hentai
Ecchi
Yuri
Hentai/Alternative
Yaoi
High Resolution
Adult Cartoons (rule 34)
Adult Requests
Random Degeneracy
Go back to your containment boards.
Yea Forums is random

Newfag

The easiest way to find a newfag is to find a post like yours, which shows that you clearly don't understand the term "newfag" yet
kek

You are very lucky you have not been arrested neither sued by her

Right on. Newfag

Was it a glass bottle? If so, you were attacked with a possible deadly weapon and I would have done the exact same thing that you did.
I worked in some hospital kitchen and a crazy cunt was throwing a metal lid for no reason at me. If she would have hit me, I would have killed her on the spot.

Did you really fall for /pol/'s trickery?

Have you considered FUCKING OFF??

Just report them all for spam. Give the mods a hand in purging them.

I yelled my mom

Dude

>be me
>Be peewdiepie
>Upload new video suking my gf dick
>Do it
>Only get 1245.3 likes
>MAD

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*chuckle*

kys

relatable

>"Loook, mom. I did it again!!"

what I don't get is how she would get with someone in the first place. Didn't she know you would do some faggotry like this? Sounds like she dodged a bullet

lol

fuck off

redneck/10

go back to R*ddit

A kid stepped on my paper airplane when we were in third grade. My grandma had just died and I was sleeping in the bed she died in (poor fag) and it had only been a week, so I was in a bad place. Broke a rib and his hand, I didn't get a scratch on me. Told the counselor my parents were abusing me (they weren't) and we had to do family counseling for a few months

Other autistic thing, had a phase in college where I would get wasted and wander around and rearrange people's lawn furniture and thought it was hilarious, would laugh to myself while I did it at 3 in the morning.

Do more of them

people calling you a summer fag but those faces used to be everywhere in old Yea Forums, the people saying they werent are the actual summer fags

What makes you think this has anything to do with /pol/? If one thing is certain, /pol/ loves stroking itself to the thought of clearing degeneracy, and I am a lurker. Not one thread has come up about this yellow shit in 5 days, it isn't /pol/. There would be a thread up 24/7 about the raid, like Shia's flag, IOTBW, but nothing?
Fuck off shill, not /pol/ in the slightest. It would sooner be reddit.

>lil sister

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>>post on Yea Forums

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fuck that last one is harmless but could seriously confuse the shit out of someone, i need to do this to my buds

first one is worrying. second is hilarious

fuck off

>"NO. YOU¡"

lol
ever consiodered joining a psychiatric asylum... As an internate ofc
after reading almost all the thread, this is pretty smooth and normie, tbqh
sneaky picky
ur retarded, did u now?
then, fuck off,, please :D
damn, dubs
lol
>He doesn't write greentexts
pic related
real knights don't do that
dude, that's hella romantic
no homo
>the poop bandit
HAHAHA, MY SIDES
I h8 when my dick gets in a fight with me. What a dickhead he is
retardo
niBBa, just make a greentext, alright?

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Got sad when I was working seafood and someone ordered a live lobster so I took it and its friends, paid for them and released them into a lake. Lobsters are saltwater creatures so they died, and I put up little graves at the lake that the police kept taking down, for about three years in 2012. I have no idea why I thought to do this, lobsters are assholes.

Kinda miss when Yea Forums was pretty much Gaia with porn tbh

>lobsters

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Sup kyle

God why wont anyone follow me to my house so I can shoot them, it's happened to my gf and mom, why not me T.T

Do more of them. Your opinion is somewhat relatable

Wario died so I smashed the top screen.
Realised you could switch the DS to the bottom screen so smashed that as well for good measure.

Damn bro are you autistic? It took me a long time to save for my camera and I worked pretty hard for the money, I'd honestly launch if someone smashed mine on purpose

my brother and i fought over a plastic water bottle and accidentally threw it at the flat screen t.v and broke it

>be le me
>pew die pie
>join factous minecraft serber
>Someone say my gf small dock
>Kill him with diemond sword
>Police come
>Fukk my sweden ass
>Got aids now

:^)

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Used to get bullied on the way home from school by a bunch of kids.
Started saving my crisp packets from lunch, pissing in them and throwing them over the other kids.
One fat cunt nicknamed "Jabler", I called him "Flabler" over and over again till he broke down crying.
Another kid I smashed his shin with a metal toecap boot and he ended up hospitalised.
Did as much damage as I could :)

>Be me
>motor in car starts breaking down
>talk to locale mechanic
>cant do it soon because he was backlogged
>find another place they fix the motor
>$500 later all is well
>motor breaks
>go back to first guy, He tells me the car is under an extended warranty from manufacture
>sigh
>go to car dealer to have it done, This time under warranty
>get talking to service rep, He tells me that my car was there before and had the motor fixed by them.
>I get pissed that I paid $500 to have my car driven to this place by lying assholes, who told me it was a hard job
>go back to the lying mechanics
>no cameras in the office
>steal a big box of there business cards
>that night put a long roof nails though every business card
>very early morning
>scatter business cards with nails on highway
>it works too well
>that afternoon after work I find out
>some dude had 3 flats with the cards stuck to his wheels
>he walks the mile to the shop and fist fights the the lying asshole mechanic
>broke his nose and a rib of the prick mechanic
>before that 20 or so people wanted to sue him and make him repair their tires for free
I am pretty proud of that one

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Great story peadiepie I sobscribed onto your youtube broadcast

This is how it is done. Multiple-stage plan to carry out elaborate spergings. Anything less then 2 steps is just ape-ish aggression

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Nice

disgusting

Thread is almost over. It's been nice chatting with you folks

>Convince wife to play online pc game with me
>Some asshole starts swearing at her and insulting her for being new
>She gets upset and quits
>Use the dude’s username to dox him
>Find his Facebook
>Do more digging, he has an AFF account with a similar username
>Dig more, find his wedding date on FB
>AFF is more recent
>Log back into Steam, message him asking him to apologize
>He tells me to fuck off
>I package up the screenshots of everything and send it to his wife on FB
>Found her number in a for sale ad too, so I texted it to her from a burner app
>Log back into Steam, message the guy
>”Hey I think your wife might be upset with you”
>He logs off
>Checked back on his FB after a few weeks
>He got thrown out, and his wife’s FB friends were commenting like crazy about how he was no good from the start

So I caused a divorce because someone called my wife a “fucking worthless noob” in a video game

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tips of frenship
op wasn't a faggot today

remember, guys, wholesome, fun threads are the best anti-p0rn campaign

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Same shit, but much, much worse. My mom was in the living room, I was in the kitchen. I had just spent about two days repasting the CPU on my Thinkpad T410. It kept overheating, and shutting down. Anyway, I gave it one last repaste, and this time tried to correct the heatsink problem associated with T410s.
>booted up
>all was running smooth as fuck
>temps normal
>start server for web app I've been working on for literally about a year
>shuts off again
I threw it at the wall, charged it, and started stomping it. Then I slammed it into the garbage. There were keyboard/computer parts around my house for weeks after that. I regret throwing it in the trash (I never took it out, got the HDD and other parts though), but that thing had me furious. Also my mom definitely suspects autism.

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I'm not op, but thank you kind sir. He could of been a faggot for all I know. He did have a half decent idea for a thread though

Shut the fuck up. Enjoy a thread instead of mentioning porn
Like leftist who use every possibility to mention trump
Also writing pr0n in 2019 makes me cringe

They've been brainwashed to mention it all the time