Shrek 5: The Divorce It was just a normal day for Shrek, he'd been working really hard; knocking down walls with his THICC and then plastering them back together. Of course this all went down at the construction site. Eventually the workers threatened to call the cops if he didn't leave so Shrek went back home to the swamp. When he got home he was greeted with the sight of his 3 demon babies shitting all over the front porch of their hut. Naturally, Shrek cleaned up the poop, spanked his babies as punishment, and microwaved them for dinner. It was okay though, he could always just clone some new ones for tomorrow. Fiona however, was not pleased. Fiona: So honey, what are we having for dinner tonight? Shrek: Well I wanted to spoil you so I microwaved the babies as a treat! Fiona: *starts packing suitcase* Shrek: Honey what are you doing? *Shrek reaches for Fiona's hand, wanting to hold it but Fiona SLAPS it away and continues packing* Shrek: What has gotten into you?!!? Fiona: I'M TIRED OF YOU TREATING OUR CHILDREN AS DISPOSABLE OBJECTS YOU CAN DO WITH AS YOU PLEASE! Shrek: I mean it's not like we should treat them with respect, after all they're just kids. Kids are like the Ox on the Oregon trail; they're useful for what you need to get done, but if you're starving you kill them and eat them. Fiona: *softly* We're getting a divorce. After this fateful phrase Shrek is taken aback. After all Shrek has done for Fiona how could she do this? Shrek lashes out at Fiona, calling her such things as a stupid whore, a fucking bitch, and most importantly, a goddamn ungrateful cunt. When Shrek was told to sign the divorce papers he did so GLADLY. He called her a stupid whore on the way out and she cried. In reality Shrek was lashing out to hide his true emotions. He felt betrayed. So he turned to his new life in the Circus! His act was that he would put anal beads in his butt and pull them out his mouth. He got kicked out of the Circus after 2 months because of an
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