The hope that my wifes depression might get better one day kept me going and accept and endure the phases of the toxicity that her illness brought upon us. I know she doesn't mean it and I don't blame her. I just don't know what to do anymore. It's been three years now, she has no friends, no job, her therapist is helping but can't fix it.
I can't help her and I can't protect myself from it. How could I possibly leave her? She will be completely on her own, she has no family, no career. But I am falling apart.
You can't carry someone elses mental illness. You've tried, but there comes a point where you have to consider your own well-being and survival.
I know it's harsh, but sometimes we just have to walk away. Also understand that i'll be a long time before you'll feel well yourself, after years with the constant drain from a loved one in a state of depression you need time to heal.
Best of luck user, may you find your way.
Aiden Bailey
No. Knock her up dude. Make her pay.
Eli Campbell
Nudes?
David Barnes
you already know what must be done. leave her at once.
Lucas Wood
The fact that you ask here for advice is a proof that you already know what you have to do
Jacob Anderson
Maybe I just have to try to distance myself emotionally when these things happen Maybe its a phase and it will get better though
Jeremiah Gutierrez
I confront him....
Ryder Watson
I just dont get it - all my friends suggest the same but fuck I can't just leave her because she has a problem, right? Like imagine thats you..
Benjamin Clark
Whenever I tell her about my problem she pushes me away and tells me to leave her then
Andrew Richardson
Her depression is no excuse for her behavior OP. If she refuses to get better and changer her attitude around people then you have no choice but to leave her or suffer with her. I would leave if I were you.
Caleb Gray
thank for your input.
William Brown
You can stay and be drained until you're as depressed and inert as she. Or you can flee and heal. Best of luck.
Jack Barnes
>Maybe... >Maybe... >all my friends suggest the same
A sane person would have listen to his reason and/or his friends, and you're not doing that. I'm not buying your "I'm doing that for her" anymore. You have another reason.
Maybe you fear to be alone Maybe you enjoy being a "martyr" and look good in the eyes of others Maybe you enjoy seeing her so helpless Maybe you enjoy that she's so dependent of you now
I don't know, and to be fair, I don't care.
But don't try to play it off as being the saint here. Clearly you're not.
Owen Garcia
Woah, that's some projecting you're doing there, user.
Hunter Hughes
It's a double edge sword but it's less sharp on the side that makes you happy.
Christopher Brooks
Good analysis My mom was like that
She stayed with my depressed father, and co-created a system where my father would be physically/verbally violent to me and my siblings nearly everyday, and she would comfort us in his back. She also LOVED to complain how much her life suck, and how much she was suffering, but "I'm doing it for the children you know?"
So yeah, I know well this type of person, and OP is one of them
As I said earlier : "A sane person would have listen to his reason and/or his friends"
Samuel Ramirez
No, you know only the circumstances from which you came. You're applying your experience in one family household on everyone who finds themselves in an abusive relationship. It's natural to do so, but not necessarily correct.
Depending on culture and experience, this man may want to be helpful, he may love her and he may also (wrongly) think he's supposed to sacrifice himself to help someone who can't be helped. Pressure from society will dictate he stay and not be "selfish". to which one can only say: "fuck society, be selfish".
My heart goes out to you, but you can't judge everybody from your own narrow perspective.
Andrew Johnson
BuT SiCknEsS aNd HeALtH!
Blake Garcia
You're right user, I concede to you.
Still, there's one thing fishy about OP : he comes for advice, and when people gave them to him, he question and gently confront them.
That, "in my experience" (as you rightfully said) is fishing for attention/compliment/pity/any other feeling that make you all giddy inside because it gives you a twisted sense of importance.
And that was this point that made me question OP's true motives.
Colton Evans
We can't know his true motives, we can't know if what he's telling us is real at all. But others may be reading these threads, who find themselves codependent in unhealthy relationships and maybe think about things. I've met those who DO suffer in bad relationships because they enjoy the awarness that if they remain, despite suffering, they're brave and good people. Rather than just using their situation as an excuse to isolate themselves or shun the world around them. There are many broken people in the world - some can grow, some can't. I feel that you, my fellow user, have grown leaps and bounds from your hardship - whereas OP has barely started.
