ITT: Things about your life that sound unbelievable but are actually true

Only a couple of them. I brought one girl in my class home one evening specifically to have sex with him.

Did he fuck your friend?

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It was a weird one. At first he got a bit angry like I'd blown his cover or whatever but he obviously fancied her. And obvs had pedo tendencies. They ended up having sex.

That's pretty hot. How old are you now?

Are you a massive whore now?
Can you even maintain a normal relationship?

Or you realize that you are the lowest of the low?

19
Why am I the lowest of the low?

Do you still have depression and all that?

I'm not as bad as I used to be with depression. My personality has kind of levelled out

I had a subscription to Playboy magazine from the time I was 9 years old (1989) up until I was 21 years old (2001). My mom bought it for me as a present and prepaid it up for 13 years.
All my friends and family used to love coming over and "reading" my Playboys.

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So what was it like at 13 getting fucked by a grown man? Did he video any of it?

I dated the hottest girl I've ever seen in my life, including movies and porn. Still have no idea how I managed to pull that one off. By the end of our third date her pussy was dripping my cum. Sometimes it feels like it must have just been a really good dream.

Her body was almost identical to pic related reddit whore. Only even better, if you can imagine it. ALTHOUGH THIS IS NOT HER.

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I bet he was pretty bummed when that ended, lol. How are you gonna explain any of that to future bfs?

user, your story reminds me of another funny story I have (I'm the PlayboyKid)

in 1997, while I was in high school I got kicked out of my regular school where my girlfriend went. Had to go to continuation school. The "scary " school everyone feared.
Two months in and I am like Albert Einstein to my peers. I actually do my work because I want to leave the damn school. Then one day, I see her. She's in my history class.
>the bad girl.
Who hangs around with the other hot bad girls.
Except she seems different to me. .
I have a period as an office aid.
>spring plan into action.
I find her personal file and steal her home phone number.
I plan to call her and talk dirty to her.. tell her how much I want to eat her out etc..
I call. I lose all drive to mistreat her.
I just talk to her as the mysterious stranger.
It becomes a game and we talk every evening. She always asks who I am, I play it cool and we just flirt and overlook it. I start to kind of feed off of the energy exchanged between us in these phone calls. I look forward to them, and look forward to "following it up" with seeing her at school the next day etc, while I secretly admire her.. one day,
I get cocky and tell her "you'll never guess who I am". One evening I ask her, "so do you think you know who I am?" She says yes.
Whoa. Stop the bus.
Is she bullshitting?mpg
She says you're Doug from history class.
>direct hit. 100% identified. I panic.
She's totally fucking cool about it.
We meet up at a park near her house and we end up actually dating for a time. One of the only girls I ever fell in love with genuinely.
>mfw I turned a near prank phone calling a beautiful girl into a relationship.
Still blows my mind how ridiculously clever it was. .

You know, you kinda shanged this whole thread with that story.. not cool

Because you are spoiled rotten. Would you imagine a good boyfriend marrying you after knowing that?

You know what you're good for. And that's the only thing you can provide. Tell me, do you enjoy being used? And how many guys have had you so far?

hope she was hot enough to be worth it, that's a fuck load of work to bang one girl.

I only have one testicle.

Nothing sexual or anything.
I am literally the best CAD designer in my country. At least in my age group. If there's someone 60+ y.o guru I've never met him.

I met three girls sitting at a table together at a bar, and talked all three of them into going home with me and shoving their feet in my face while watching me masturbate

I thought this was a sex doll. Unreal.

Considering youre reaction you enjoy fucking hearing about it, thats for sure. If my GF told me this, I'd not care. People have sex. With people. That is normal human behavior. Expecting every girl you ever fuck to be a virign is like Islamic shit. You a sandnigger?

When I was in middle school I ripped my balls open hopping a chainlink fence

cringe

No, I actually pity her that a medical reaction compelled her to do these things.

Would you allow your 13 y.o. daughter to fuck 38 y.o. guy?

It was man.. it was a lot of work, ha. But yes it was definitely worth it. The truth is, if I had not married the woman I am married to, I would have definitely tried to marry Nicki (the phone girl)
She is the only other chick I have really clicked with in my life who I felt the desire to "take care of" and address and fulfill all of her wants and needs. She was and always will be more than just pussy to me, but I do feel you on that end.

>heaps of issues
straya

I have them saved because they look so alike. Shit was wild, I would nut in her three or four times a night and still be dying for more.

Unfortunately I deleted all pics of her because I was so crushed when it ended I came pretty close to killing myself. Had to go cold turkey.

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>fucked Taylor Swift at a party
>no on ever believes me

Are you still attracted to older men?

big if true. how was it? how old was she then?

Well I felt grown up I guess. He filmed some but always deleted.
Yeah I've been out with older men since.

I worked in the privet yachting industry for 14 years, sailed across the Atlantic 6 times, the Pacific Ocean 4 times, North Atlantic sea, Mediterranean, Caribbean sea numerous times, I’ll fucked the best hookers and the richest women in the world, now I live in ca, in the one of the best hoods, Lamy life is a fucking dream, I say thank you every morning...I’ll have seen the contrast between rich and pore in many places I’m the world.. I’m
One of the lucky ones. You could never even imagine how good my life is.

Prove it or fake and gay LARP

>always deleted
Yeah I bet... Did he have a big cock? Uncut? Anal? Give deets.

Lucky guys! I would love to have sex with a 19 year old. I didn't appreciate them as much as I should have when I was that age.

Ive survived a suicide attempt when i was in my teens by drinking a litre of antifreeze, a few years later i nearly overdosed on fentanyl. Now i got my life together and surprising no permanent damage

I haven't touched non-related female in 10 years
I haven't spoken to non-related female in 2 years
I never had neither sexual intercourse nor any form of romantic intimacy with anyone

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no doubt...

Also now I own a house at 22 and have a healthy happy daughter and a woman who loves me. It shows no matter how hard you hit bottom you can climb out of it, it is just really really hard

Does her pussy stink?
Was it at one of her infamous scat parties?

>He filmed some but always deleted.
What a gullible retard

So good you have to brag about shit that never happened
I’m so jealous of you

If you only knew my friend..

Aren't some of the richest women old hags?

No, they are in there prime. Looking for an adventure, away from prying eyes

some are, some aren't

Fair enough

Lost my virginity to a proper hotwife with great fake tits in a car her husband was driving. We then went to their place for an old threesome.

Yeah he was well endowed. He was Nigerian. Yeah there was anal.

Any way good night and safe sailings..

That’s not me who reply, “the sailor”

No, I'm not. I'm right though.

I send my dad nudes of my wife in request

Did he lick your pussy? What is your favorite position?

Enjoy what ever you do in life..

this is fucking bullshit

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Yeah he did. I like doggy or reverse cowgirl.

Had a 3 month affair with an 18 year old, only 3 months into my marriage. I was 27.

Since I was in elementary school, I've wanted to murder my brother. When my parents told me that he got hit by a car and almost died, I laughed to myself after they left the room. The reason is that he's a retarded druggie psychopath who pulled a knife on half of my family.

your ethnicity?

White English.

yea this sounds like cuck fantasy by your parents or you

Well my foster parents were fairly wierd. Not gonna lie. But they were decent.

It's ok, user. Your life sucks

I had sex with 29 girls in 6 days

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She was 19 and very drunk
I know of no such parties. I only went because my pal at the time was an audio technician in training and had an apprenticeship thing going on and that took him to the arena that day. He was a young outgoing dude so he they got along great backstage. And when he got the invite, so did I.

That’s quite normal. Takes a few months to find a good job without experience. Good luck!

That’s awesome...
Dream come true

Did you like the anal sex? I hope he took his time with that

Live In USA?

I'm in a similar boat. I sort of fell into a decent blue collar job getting paid ≈45k with plenty of opportunities for overtime

I have never shied away from manual labor (and it's not that bad anyways, standing is the hardest part (oh no! ;))

I've been waiting 2.5 months for a computer programming job that I'm assured is being set up for me. Who knows

I've been drunk 10 times in 10 years

What a fucked up society that you people have to deal with a woman because her feelings get out of control and the law is written so poorly that it leads to strange situations like this

I actually believe you since you're not trying to be over the top.

Who initiated it?

Anyone and everyone is free to join my telegram group t.me/joinchat/Mdyo1E580hr8E6PhSJ3BCg

I once set someone's ballsack on fire

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I have peed ,shit and vomited at the same moment

R/cucks is waiting for you lol

I would never marry a girl with a notch count higher than 5.

I won't even date a girl if she's doesn't anything I consider a sexually deviant

Words cannot describe the unfathomable wisdom that I wield with my existence.

also, fuck that guy for saying you are the lowest of the low. Mental illness can happen to anyone, it doesn't make you a bad person. It's also okay to be open with your sexuality as long as you're resonsible about it.

Wish it would go back to this.

Kids find porn and binge on it nowadays. I wouldn't even want my young self being exposed to that

I am sparticus

>be me 10yrs old
>parents separated
>visit father on weekends
>go visit him he's staying at a friends house
>friends son same age beckons me to back yard
>its late at night
>points to bushes in backyard
>says it's a chupacabra
>I laugh "yeah right"
>walk towards said bushes
>red eyes appear with low growl
>we both run inside the house and tell horror stories all night
>we could not sleep that night

Currently having an affair with a 20 y/o while my wife is pregnant with our second child. I’m 30.

my poop currently smells like shiitake mushrooms

So what is your life like now? Are you still in the private yacht business? If not, how are you still living the dream?

You say it's better than we can imagine. Are you part of all that porn that comes out of California?

Riiiiiiiiiiiiight... so how many did you shove up there?

t. reddit whiteknight
bitch is used goods

I have a sexual relationship with my sister. Always makes me feel better to come on b and see retards lusting for my situation.

I fucked my brothers gf at least twice a week.

I dont eat mushrooms so its quite odd

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I have nudes of my cousin

Fucking nigger lover.

Yeah I enjoyed it. He took his time yeah he was always gentle (ish) with my bum.

Girl I’m with enjoys ffm threesomes and gets off to watching me fuck her friends.

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can you post a sexy pic for me to jerk off to

I made a deal with a girl once to have sex if we're ever both single at the same time. I've now made that deal with 3 other girls.

stop it

I was the whistleblower about sexual abuse I'd witnessed for a children's home that I grew up in.

i once owned 2500 bitcoin back in 2011 when they were just over $1 USD and then sold it ALL for a small profit after the May 2011 crash

Fuuuuuuuuck. That sucks.

I'm in a similar situation...god damn it feels great to be stress free. Mid 8 figures in the bank. Brand new house with no mortgage. 2 paid off 2018 cars. 1 paid off 2019 boat. And....a household income over 200k.

Nice...

I didn't own many (still lost a few), but I distinctively remember thinking, when it was just a few months old, "digital currency for running my computer 24/7? What bullshit, this'll never take off".

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stuff that sounds UNBELIEVABLE fag. read op

>spoiled rotten
input a cuck would disagree with this. you rack the disciprine

What's your degree in?

you're probably pine of the idiots that "feel for the trap meme"

I actually have a cute gf who enjoyed having sex with me many times, still find it hard to believe