>2016
>I just moved in with my aunt, who is dying of cancer, to take care of her
>She lives in Kentucky, I'm from Ohio
>I don't have any college experience
>Used to work as a mail carrier and made good money
>Unfortunately, the town my aunt lives in is very large and doesn't need a new mail carrier
>Bummer
>My aunt is a nice lady, but she's obviously depressed
>Her kid is a drug addict and lives out of state
>Her husband killed himself six years ago, due to PTSD
>I spend most of my time watching TV with her and looking for a job
>Then, a couple weeks later, I get a call from a guy named Gene
>Gene is the manager of the mall in town
>Cool
>He wants me to check out their building and see if I want to work there
>Awesome!
>But...something's weird
>I never applied to the mall
>I don't even known anyone who works at this mall
2016
>So, anyway, I go to the mall to check it out
>Gene is a nice guy, he's this older man
>He's got a bong in his office like it ain't no thing
>The mall, on the other hand, is kinda pathetic
>They have a big department store
>A gross Chinese food court place
>And...a few odds and ends
>And an arcade
>A very, very old school arcade
>They have Street Fighter 1, Sonic the Fighters, even Donkey Kong 3
>I'm told that their 'production manager' Paul is retiring this week
>They need a replacement
>I really, really want to ask how they found out about me, but I don't want to seem ungrateful
>So, fuck it, I say yes!
>I call my aunt up and tell her I got a job
>She's really happy, but I can tell she will soon pass
>The next day, I meet with Paul to find out what a production manager does
>Basically, this is my job
>I check the 8 vending machines in the mall every day
>I replace drinks, snacks, etc. that need replaced
>I collect money from the machines and put them in the safe
>And, when needed, I wipe off the machines and help guests with problems
>This mall is small as fuck
>So, why do they hire one person just to take care of these machines?
>Fuck, who knows
>I can't question a job that pays halfway decently
>Paul's a nice guy, he buys be Subway during our break
>He's clearly around 80ish
>We make small talk, shoot the shit, when suddenly he asks
>Remember when I said there were only 8 vending machines, user?
>Yeah
>I lied
>We go to the arcade, where Paul shows me a machine called 'Lucky Eggs'
>I'll do my best to describe it to you
>Basically, you stack to quarters and put it in the machine
>Then, you push it in, and the machine starts
>The machine is Flinstones themed - its adorned with old cartoon characters, and there's a mechanical Fred Flinstone who spins around and says
>Yabba Dabba Doo
>Yabba Dabba Doo
>Dino Loves You
>And then the machine dispenses a little plastic egg with a prize inside
>Paul tells me that this is, by far, the most popular machine in the mall
>Uh..okay
>He takes me to his office
>It's fairly large, almost as big as Gene's was
>He opens up a closet and there, in stacked up cardboard plates, are what I can only describe as hundreds
>If not thousands
>Of plastic eggs
When does Paul put his dick in your mouth?
>Paul gives me very specific instructions about the egg machine
>I am not to touch the mechanical Flinstone, as it breaks easily
>Nor am I to open any eggs
>If I do, they can fall apart later in the machine and fuck it up
>That machine, he said, rakes in almost as much money as all the other stores combines
>Well, fuck
>Later that night, I'm watching the news with my aunt
>She thinks it's weird that the mall just found me, but she's happy I got the job
>I decide not to tell her what my job entails
>Just that I have my own office and enjoy my work so far
>She gets sleepy and lays down but I can hear her coughing non-stop from her bedroom
>I know that I will get some money from her when she passes
>But I would trade it all to let her live
Are you going to fuck her?
sorry your aunt is dead/did you fuck her
Did you bang your aunt or not?
>Anyway, on my first day at work, I meet some people
>There's Tony, who is the head of maintenance
>And Dana, a younger woman around my age, who is Gene's assistant
>We all have offices near one another, we sort of just hang around mostly
>My actual job only takes 2-3 hours to do, the other 5 I just kinda dick around
>Tony is obviously Gene's dealer, by the way
>Anyways, I find myself mastering the art of vending machine maintenance
>Tony often ribs me, that I have the easiest job in the plant
>Occasionally, I will head down to the arcade hoping to see some people crowding around the Flinstone machine
>But I never do
>Still, the eggs deplete very quickly, so I just reload them like I'm supposed to
>No big deal...
>Right?